I have officially made my discord for Kawaii Music Producers! If youโre in the community, please do join ^-^ We are looking for more artists! And if you donโt make kawaii music you are more than welcome also! Everyone is aloud to join, so I canโt wait to see you there ^-^ We stream regularly and game lotโs! See you there! <3ย
Done with these rages of anger, when everything pisses me the fuck off. It makes me want to yell and someone like why would you even ask how Iโm doing, fuck you. I feel like this has something to do with the people around me, I canโt tell yet though. Just feel an overwhelming amount of hate from someone around me and I feel like it is spreading. Which is weird because all of the people around me are very joyful and good people. I really just need to be alone for a few days and unwind being around people is tiring and Iโm sick of picking up on other peoples energies itโs really starting to pissing me off.
I feel sad, yet at the same time I feel like I should be grateful. I hate this feeling, why do I feel like this. I got stuff done today, I cleaned the apartment, I talked to some people, it was nice. I hung out with an old friend that I used to hangout with when I was 15-17. I took acid for the first time in his basement and he was always a really good person. One time he accidentally called me though and at the time he was actually talking shit about me to a bunch of his friends. I donโt hold him accountable anymore thatโs dumb shit that happened when we were young but I donโt forget. It was one of the shittiest experiences in my opinion. I really wish I was just with will, this senario really bums me out, and itโs not like I donโt want to deal with this, itโs just hard. I feel like I canโt really connect with him like I want to and I mean Iโm okay with that but itโs hard. Iโve been drinking tonight and it doesnโt feel right not being with Will, Like idk I just wanna be with him :/ Iโve never really been through a relationship like this before but this doesnโt feel like any other relationship Iโve had, Iโm more happy then Iโve been I think ever and I donโt even know how thatโs possible. Iโm excited for kyles birthday tomorrow, Life really is a blessing and Iโm happy to be here. Kyle is going to see all of his favorite friends and Iโm so excited. Tomorrows gonna be so much fun :)
To my brilliant sweetheart. I have all of my love for you and lately itโs just been so much that I have to write about it :) I donโt look up nearly as much as I used to, but lately the stars have actually reminded me of you! There was a night up north where we walked with your brother and his girlfriend to a clearing. We talked about astrology the whole time, while we looked at the stars and everything felt perfect, my heart was in bliss and I felt like the best version of me being next to you, my mind was expanding just by being around your energy, and looking at those stars made it feel like we were living lifetimes together. The way your brain works is the most beautiful thing I've ever been around, it makes me feel more human and alive. Your interests in the arts, and overall caring for people is so immensely encouraging to me.You make me grow. Everything you do makes me so incredibly happy. Your voice is my favorite, and ever since I met you anyone that sounded like you would make me miss you SO much, all I ever wanted was to hear you :) and now I get to hear your beautiful voice everyday. I love when you sing, you are so astonishingly brilliant. Singing with you makes me feel harmony I've never felt with anyone and I love you so much, more than anything. When I met you your energy and personality pulled me into a mindset that was beautiful. It made me feel instantly connected to you. Your music made me feel alive, I used to listen to it walking to the bus stop in the morning and sing along. Among you just showing me your music you showed me fl studio. Before this I never knew anything about music production other than garage band in my dumb composition class in high school, showing me that blew my mind, and I never knew thatโs how it was made. Anyone could have told me, but there is no one that would have motivated me more to start than you. I was in music my whole life and always felt like I had a purpose in it, but when I met you I realized you are my purpose and that music is within the things that make you happy, rather you are the one that led me to make music and grow this far, your voice, your personality, your style, your laugh, your sadness, your growth, your encouraging words, they all helped me to this point. Since the day I started making music I made it for you, and for years afterwards it felt like the only good music that came out was when I was singing to you. My life would be so different without you, and I love you so much for that. You make me look up and question things but never to question myself and to run forward. With you I feel so complete. Throughout everything I will always been here for you because I love you to the end of the universe and back and nothing will ever change the beauty of our love and where it takes us :) I am forever yours <3 I love you so much honey ~