appleofstrife - Tumblr blog

[appleofstrife]

Any advice for giving off massive bitch vibes to men?

Do not give them any ground, nor allow them to push your boundaries, ever.

The moment they can bend your will, they will assume they can bend your body.

[appleofstrife]

Fuck it we bawl (starts sobbing uncontrollably)

[appleofstrife]

The key shortcut of "windows key" and "." held together has changed my life

like

emoji access? supremely powerful 🙂💖

But

Kaomoji ?

The year is 2013 and I am unstoppable ヾ(•ω•`)o o(*￣▽￣*)ブo(*°▽°*)o

[appleofstrife]

you should be able to say "line" if you don't know what to say in a social situation

[appleofstrife]

talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

[appleofstrife]

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

[appleofstrife]

f it, time to be depressed about the results of this poll (free blocklist ig)

REBLOG FOR SAMPLE SIZE!! LETS GET AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE!!

[appleofstrife]

Unfortunately this is funny as hell

[appleofstrife]

i don't know man, i just wish that we could [suddenly realising i'm coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. or something.

[appleofstrife]

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

[appleofstrife]

[appleofstrife]

To some people you’re an NPC

To other people, you’re the special, unlockable character that they worked and worked to finally get- and when they do they’re so happy because they got the game just so they could find you.

[appleofstrife]

lord grant me the serenity to do my laundry, the courage to do my laundry, and the wisdom to do my laundry

[appleofstrife]

If God were real he'd have divvied up my stupid dumb amongst the crowd instead of giving it all to me, but here I am

[appleofstrife]

“I don’t care about dumb weed jokes,” I said naively, before I saw this

[appleofstrife]

Is this your idol?

[appleofstrife]

if loving fall out boy was a crime id be publicly executed by firing squad