apuppyleftwaitingforher - Tumblr blog

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

She thought she was the only one. She owes me money but... looks like she is just like all the other girls....

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

My first AI attempt. Goofing off.

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

Her other attempt.

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

The last time I talked to her ever.

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

Ignorance?

The day, April 25, 2024

Location: Wal-Mart

So, like usual; I have to get breakfast for myself. As I go in, a woman was about to bump into me. She, for some reason, chose the wrong door. No "excuse me" or anything. Fine. I won't let that bother me.

So, I got my food. Couldn't find the V8 Fruit Energy drink so... had to just settle. I did find the eggs. Did checkout.

As I was going to, another woman was coming up on me fast and bumped me out of the way. Really? I'm not invisible. For a "fast girl", why was she not flexible enough to dodge me? No apologies. How did she get out with a bookbag like that? Whatever.

Ethnicity difference. 1st woman was white (I think). 2nd woman was straight up black. Geez.

I mean hug or kiss me before ignoring my space, geez.

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

Lessons Learned from Rolsetta

I learned that some religious beliefs are just not able to match. Somehow, she doesn't believe dinosaurs existed.... A minor thing. She was a damaged individual. From her dad to the one she gave it up for to the guy who been sucking cash from. She wants to get marriage. Saving it for her man. She wants the man to be in charge but yet doesn't like it that she takes the wheel and achieved what she wanted. She got the relationship but yet wanted it to be done with an ask, flowers and chocolates. But.... she is far away. North Florida vs. South Florida. She broke off the relationship.

The lessons. Chemistry can be found in friendships (I think). I was not attracted to her sexually. She was truly on it when it comes to being satisfied. I think she might have always had the wheel except when I was pressing all her buttons. It is sad I was not attracted but there was none. The Human Horn was not at all pointed. So....

I disliked that I had to go to her. I know that might be gentlemanly but what about my safety? I picked a bit of a messy hotel. I mostly dislike that the prices were too much even when doing it in advance.

Lost distance relationships are not truly for me but it depends on the girl / woman. I was not a good mix for her at times. I driven her crazy. She bit me once. It was during the deep interaction. I made her gasp a long while... had no idea she was kinda close to death... oops.

But it was nice to have someone. Kinda can't enjoy truly big. She had K cups. By that, you can tell how big she is. So, I can't go for the truly voluptuous. I will have to settle for G and under. But not too low unless her wit and chemistry makes up for the average "build".

She just wasn't a match. I would have liked to talk from time to time but not sure. She wanted to talk everyday. Especially on the phone which I am not like that and it is hard to cover up that. I like it to be a private matter but she was making sure everyone noticed. (D'oh!)

Apparently, she was playing mind games. Girls and Women are like am I playing with them and s# but I have no idea how. Even worse where I have no idea if anyone is playing games on me....

She was strafing to be a doctor. Yet, she was like she does not want to work and that she wants to spend cash like a lot. I'm more to spending what we need. Save money for the future. At times, splurge yourself. Treat yourself. That isn't a crime but don't spend your full paycheck....

She deserves someone though. I hope she finds someone that is good for her. Would be funny she found someone and is married. I am so a Chuck....

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

Just Talking In A Bag

Well, I haven't been on here. Just life and such. No real drive to go to Tumblr. But there isn't anything to tell. The same story. Tried another woman, she is gone. I went too far after she said that she doesn't mind the retaliation which was a butt slap. But I just went too far. Somehow after that.

It is again and again. I rarely get someone that gets snagged with my "opener". The rest is just getting pushed and drowned into the Kik/Skype/Telegram/Snapchat seller crowd. What I used to get for free... I have to pay now. -_- Progress! I do have like 2 women that wants to meet me. But like usual... there are pauses in the chats. Kellz is a liar and scammed me out of money. What else is new? Stacey is trying to come back. Not for money now. She wants to live with me or something. I stopped it all. Bet many knows what Pnp means which is on her name now. I truly cast her aside. I need you owe 4K and you still want to do something. She went from able to work to sores to not able to walk much to in a wheelchair. That is not natural AT ALL. So.... I wish for all I dealt with that I have a Loan Shark friend and he buys them all out. He is ABOUT that money and will hunt them down and get IT. IF they can't well they will have to work for him or a man with a hat, long car and a glass that will show that they have to bend down and retrieve that money they owe. Plus... he will add interest into it which at this point, I wouldn't care. They might have 10% off if they honored it but they didn't.

That is what I have to deal with...

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

Just sick of it

So, we have more idiots who helps to continue to dislike women and girls. Here is the story.

Jerk A #1

Stacey. We remember Stacey. Last time, she made a deal how she would double my money. She has a sure win in the gambling game she is using to stop needing drugs. 

She offered for $20, she will made it $40 plus throw in the $10 given before. Also, I needed to make sure she is sincere. She did the thing and well.... she kept HALF of her promise.

The $20 was returned with the $10. Let that sink in. Didn't she say DOUBLE the money? It wasn't a sure win if you manage to merely give back $30. If she just said she would pay me back, ok

sure I will be willing to trust you more but nope. She didn't let that be the statement said. So, she decided to ask again... same idea but now with tiers. $20 will get me $40 and $40 would get me $80.

Since we all know that her demonstration of that last time failed. Like I would give the $40. So, I gave her $20. She diiiiidn't do the confirmation to show she was sincere when she said in a minute. Soon.

Been a few days, no sign of her at all. Is that good? Yes. But... would like the $20 not be taken as well.

Jerk A #2

Chelle Bates. She was someone I had small contact with. She came back after days. Sure. It is fine. I am patient...kinda. But there was nothing that caused me to be impatient. 

So, a few days ago... she revealed that she had a crazy naked man who likes to go in front of her "house". She called the cops and he returned to her "house" with shorts on. So, what does that have to do with me?

Well...... she confided in me and well she needed protection. She needed a GUN. So, she started with saying how I'm kind and nice. How she might arrange a visit to me since she hasn't ventured East of the state.

Such a good friend and etc. I was like okay but I would like to have spoilings and such. She agreed. Even to give me her number. I gave her the $300 for the gun. She had a rough night or something. No sleep until 2:30am.

After that, she walked back giving her number. Her grandson using her phone and etc. (Aaaaaaaaaaaand you have a naughty video of you on your iPad) She then haven't logged in for a day then for days. Her defense...

She is new to all of this. She can't talk to me and message me for 24/7. She has stuff to do. (Do I say all to myself 24/7? No. At least be available once or twice a day not 24/7) She doesn't come on often. The kicker was... 

this was her first gig. (Oh, so you dropped the friend thing and now I'm a gig to you, seriously) Been days since she said all this. If I'm a gig to you then where is the gig duties? How are you making the things you are going to do 

or were worth $300? If she thinks she is done aaaaand... 10 photos and a video is $300 value. Da fuk! I was expecting it to be paid off within 3 months or more. If she was very dedicated, a month to get it "worked" off. So, if she

kept the friend part then sure. You can on and off of it. Either way, the bottom-line is COMMUNICATION. But she has yet to do it so since you are being like this... it is now an IOU. Pay it back. How it goes. I got burned too much to

continue to get burned. Either do what you say or refund what you got. $300 is a big thing. Not small. Only one other person got a big amount and it was Lynnie. But since it was money to God well... not my problem. God collects. 

Jerk A #3

Ashley a.k.a. Jocelyn a.k.a. Jocelyn's sister a.k.a. Lisa's friend's sister a.k.a. Jocelyn a.k.a. Lisa. She is a mess. A big mess. Is it about the money being gone? No. $55 total. It is the part where she didn't deliver one the previous and

wants something else. A.k.a. doing a Christina. But she was doing it in a crazier way. She first was like she is a mom. The dad is at home taking care of the baby. Then they are engaged. I said I will be done after this. My code doesn't 

allow me to enjoy taken women. So for food and then extra due to baby food prices $15 + $10. She was going to do 20 things for that. She only did 7 in total (including the next day). Then the next day, she says she got into a fight with the fiancee.

(A lie chances are now to get more money). So, she got a speeding ticket. She is a college student and she is $15 short. She was like I love you and etc when the money was given. (I did have questions... also if she didn't pay, they were going to arrest her. HA! Girl I was late in paying a speeding ticket.. well taking the class, I wasn't arrested) She was wanting to do a video chat home. I was at work and couldn't do it. So, a video of thanks and how she loves me. Didn't get it... 

I later got a video or two. Peculiar. I think someone was holding the phone. Instead of being leaned up to something. (mmmmhm...) She got money for food too thus $55. I said how she has a LOT to work off. And it was just. People are over.

I'm not at home. Video chat, people are asleep. A few photos and then nothing. She had been online over and over. But nothing. So, I truly cut her off. As soon as I get home, Cashapp will label her a scam. As for money return... like you would.

They never did that. I just want her labeled as she is. 

I wish to have freedom from this. Looking in the wrong places perhaps. Or the world is descending more and more. To where you can't even get a woman to talk and flatter her to death. Not as easy as you could. 

Probably also, there is a new category added to what you can find. I just wish to not have to work harder and to have their work be their work. 

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

Question from a man in Manchester UK.

He is 48 but has a secret. He has a family of four with a wife. But there is something she does not know. He is into men now. He has been getting it on with his wife's brother. He formed emotions for him and now they do it every time they get.

What should he do? He doesn't want to break his family apart and he doesn't want to lose his ... new relationship.

Answer

As a Christian man, I will have to see it in a religious view as well. So, heavy hitter first? But they both suck.

You know it is a sin to sleep with another man. Be stronger than that sin. Repent! Cast out that man and stay with your wife. You made a vow. A living contract with her! You did break it but you can still save it. She doesn't have to know. This is your cross to bear now. Keep it your control and never act on it ever again.

Here is the non-preachy answer.

You did make a vow. Should stick with it but we all have urges. Interests do change. But you have to choose! No one who gets both will have it end well. There is a rare few who does. You can tell your wife and maybe she can accept it. Other hand, she could break her and your family is lost to you. Easier to let him go but seems like you might not. You have to choose. Eventually, you will get caught. Even how well you plan things out and can hide it. You will even have a slip up. Maybe your wife returns early. She comes home unexpectedly just to surprise you and have something nice ready as you return home or to give to you. God forbid... (I know but it is a figure of speech) that it is your CHILD who walks in on you two. Then you scarred them and not sure if they can keep a secret. This is something that can break a child. If the child can't keep a secret then... you are SCREWED. So, you have to choose. The wife and kids or the boytoy. It is your choice. You can't ditch it. You can't choose both. It will be either one or the other that will stay.

Choose wisely.

May the Lord have mercy on your spirit.

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

I Let Her In Again

So, we all know Stacey by now. If you don't, scroll down. You will find the story. So, from her last true time talking to me. She went hard on drugs. Turns out as you can figure, they messed her UP.

These days, she can't walk. Maybe due to having a toe removed. OR the drugs. She is saying that she is done with drugs. She had a boyfriend who was abusing her. (AND I WAS THE ONE YOU WERE GETTING SUPPORT FROM?!) But she is back in town I guess. She "miss" her friend. All her friends left her (with the drugs... you wonder why they left plus you lie and never paid your IOUs so you can see why they left) Her dad died today so years ago. So, she needed someone to hear her. To make her feel like a human being? She wants help so she can be normal again.

Why she needs money? The disability isn't around to support. She can't work anymore. She let her brother stay with her twice. The last time he stole her money or maybe both times? Not sure, so... as you can figure, no money for her rent which is due. Overdue.

I let her be able to talk but she isn't borrowing anymore. She merely got money for food but that is it. She at least healed from the skin issue caused by the drugs.

We shall see how this will go but I am not going to pour money into her like that EVER again.

Sarah is being a pain though.... working all week long to make my money back. We will talk about Sarah another day.

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

Always, I have to deal with the small losses and that quickly turns into talking down to myself. How much I suck. How I didn't deserve anything not even the smallest bit. I get nothing because I couldn't do what needed to be done 12 years ago.

I wish it was marriage or being there for a kid. Instead it was academic and I let myself down. Yes, it was rigged but there was a chance where I could have passed it. But I did get a miracle and thus I was broken. Winter 2010.

I was just on the ground (not literally). Bleeding out in an alleyway. No one caring that they made this happen by their money hungry thought process. Thinking that I want to room with the same ethnicity when I chose my roommate. You didn't to ignore my request and not call to make sure you can change my rooming assignment. Because of all of it, I am scarred. Scarred and angry. Using a vice to hold it all at bay. Years pass and I got a bit better but the whispers are still here. Still in every turn that I get something wrong. That a girl / woman just pass me after a day, a night, a week, a month, a year of talking and flattery.

I'm just dead. Dragging myself from day to day, week to week. I wasn't like this but you let it happen. A school let this happen and I was supposed to trust them. Proved me wrong.

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

Been drifting away. There is just no women, no girl out there who can just act as if it is the late 2000s. Now it is money this and money that and I'm an e-girl. And can't message and be funny. And the classic no reply or response. Also, the left on read crap. Might be a few more things but sick of it all.

Miss having a girl that was a friend and I knew so much about her. To tease and make her crack a smile. To tease her to the point of having to give in. It wasn't just her but there were others. She was just the best one. She denies the chemistry and she always lied. She gotten better but still. And still kept things from me. The bridge meteor was due to her not mentioning being abused even as a child. Before 9. Because of that, I needed to talk to someone else and she thought it was breaching her trust. Like going to a therapist and telling it all is a "breach of trust". She was a therapist but it is better to not have me in my mind's eye if I am wrong. Which I still wasn't but she called me something I would never do.

Perhaps.... we were toxic together or it is just her attitude #3 was the worst thing she ever allowed herself to fall into. I know I can't save them all or it is not my duty to help but I wanted to. I was good for her. Just the separations was what made things revert and get worse.

I'm just done. I just want a few things. Not even sex. Not EVEN SEX. But sure, what I want is so hard than giving sex to me... to others.

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

Not even sure it is the app glitching or I am kicked out every time I try to get on with her. Still a bouncer but yet...

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

No idea what to say about her.

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

She couldn't even remind the wild night....

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

Sure. Like I will be talking to you later.

[apuppyleftwaitingforher]

She is trying to cover it up now.