aquanutart

[aquanutart]

you're telling me he DIDN'T make some invention so he could see her sooner than 2 weeks???

[aquanutart]

[aquanutart]

[aquanutart]

I love that people are reblogging this and putting in the tags "OHHHHHH!!" and "THAAAAAAANK YOU" because I almost captioned it with that, but I then I thought "no, everyone will hear it in their heads when they see this" and I'm so happy I was right 🥺

[aquanutart]

- I'm sorry. It's just that when people look at me, I get…nervous.

- Is that so? I have just the thing. Wait here! [...] I wrote my request down. That way you don't have to talk to me.

[aquanutart]

dragon dance

[aquanutart]

[aquanutart]

desert flygon

[aquanutart]

Professor Oak arrives to congratulate me, after sending me on this adventure 27 years ago.

I'm crying.

I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm 32 years old, with the team of Pokemon I raised from when I was 5, and this is the first time Professor Oak has ever said this to me.

I understand. I understand. It was my Pokemon who waited for me, who were by my side all my life. It was every person who ever talked to me, who ever helped me, who ever interacted with me on the internet, who showed me how to be who I am, who showed me that I can live my own life.

I watch as my Pokemon are entered in the Hall of Fame. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for trusting in me that I would come back. You deserve this so much.

I'm in tears as the credits roll, holding my tiny Game Boy with shaking hands. I'm so happy. I'm so grateful I got to see this moment. I'm so happy my Pokemon waited for me.

When I start the game again, I'm back at the house where I first left on my adventure.

I'm home. I came home, to myself and to the joy and the love I used to have as a child, and I can begin living where I left off.

I was talking and I mentioned that I have my old Game Boy and original Pokemon cartridge. I said, "I think they still work."

I was told, "The internal batteries on the Game Boy cartridges have run out. They're all dead."

"Oh," I said, trying not to show how crestfallen I was. I felt like I was losing nerd cred for not knowing that, although I never kept up with that type of info anyway. I'm here for the fantasy and imaginative aspects of games, and tend not to follow the competitive or technical details.

I tried not to feel anything as I went home. If they were real animals, I reminded myself, I would have had to say goodbye long ago.

But like so many other people, Pokemon was my childhood. It was all I thought about and dreamed about, and the closest thing I could imagine to heartbreak was the knowledge that they weren't real. I spent nearly all my time writing longhand self-insert Pokemon fanfiction--far more than I spent actually playing the game. My Pokemon were with me in my imagination wherever I went. I started playing Pokemon Blue when I was 5, and the last time I had played it was probably when I was 9 or 10. I remembered I had turned it on again one more time after that, not to play it, but to look at my childhood Pokemon.

It was during high school, after a move overseas that completely upended my life, and I was struggling with the crushing blow of being taken away from everything I knew and trying to make sense of anything (least of all adolescence) in another language. All I wanted was to go back to childhood and have everything go back to how it was before.

Seeing my Pokemon, just as I'd left them, had comforted me. I had looked at their stats pages, taken photos of them with my digital camera (that I don't even know if I still have), and then turned it off without doing anything.

That was probably 9 or 10 years after the games came out. It had been a long time since then. I had long since taken the AA batteries out of my Game Boy Color and left it untouched. I didn't even have AA batteries anymore.

It had worked then. But now it had been 27 years... I thought about not trying to turn my cartridge back on. As long as I didn't turn it on, I could believe my Pokemon were still there, the way I remembered them.

On my day off, which happened to be Pokemon Day, I googled and read that some people on forums and Reddit were still able to play their original Pokemon games.

Then... it was possible. I went out to buy toothpaste. At the store, I asked where I could find AA batteries.

It was a big thing for me to be able to go to the store and buy things myself. When I moved at age 13, I felt like something went wrong with growing up. It was difficult to follow what people were saying, and people didn't always understand what I said either. I had been introverted even in English, but now I had enough negative experiences that I became afraid and stopped trying to talk to people altogether.

I threw myself into video games and reliving childhood memories. The internet was where I could communicate in my first language and understand. I lived online and didn't interact with the real world. On the internet I felt like I was understood and could find people who shared my interests the way I did, but in the real world it always felt like I could get hurt if anyone knew me.

I realize now that I could have had a better experience overseas if I'd known how to adapt and socialize, but this was not something I knew even in English, and trying to learn in another language made it ten times harder. I'm sorry now for missing out on interactions that I know I could have had, but I just didn't know how. I wouldn't know how until I learned, and it took me a long time to learn.

I grew up online, in the company of others who had trouble fitting in with the real world, even in their own language. Those experiences shaped me, and the friendships I've made and support I've received online are invaluable to me. The internet gave me a way to live, and through it I learned how to interact with others. But in many ways, for many years, it felt like my life was put on hold and I stopped growing up.

Several years ago I moved back, to not far from where I was born, and I was able to work for the first time. I began to interact with people and feel like I had a place in the real world.

After shutting myself away for so many years, every little step I made out in the world felt terrifying. But every little thing I did on my own made me feel like I was living for the first time.

Even something as little as going to the store and buying a pack of batteries.

I was directed to a shelf at the end of an aisle, and found myself looking at a rack of lithium AA batteries. Did they not sell the old kind anymore?

I walked around to the other side and was relieved to find the familiar black and brown Duracell batteries I'd known from my childhood. I felt more confident about putting in a battery that looked the same as I remembered. The smallest pack they sold was an 8-pack for $12.99. I really didn't need 8 batteries. I didn't have any other devices that used them.

I thought, what if I turn it on and it doesn't work and I'll have wasted $12.99?

I also thought we might already have batteries. I might be able to say, "Mom, do we have any batteries?" and she'd pull out two AAs from a drawer somewhere and I'd save my money.

But somehow I felt like part of what was important about this was being an adult and being able to buy my own batteries.

Yet... what if it just ended up making me sad? Was it better not to know?

I went to the checkout with just the toothpaste and stood hesitating at the edge of the checkout line.

If I didn't get the batteries now, and it turned out we didn't have any batteries, I wouldn't try it. I knew I would just put it off until even more time passed, and then... "Are you in line?" someone asked me.

"No," I said, and I turned around and went back to the shelf.

I bought the batteries.

At home, I took out my original Game Boy Color from the drawer where I left it, the one my dad had surprised me with when I was 5 years old and that I had brought overseas and back.

I put the batteries in and turned it on without a cartridge first to make sure the batteries were inserted correctly. The Game Boy logo scrolled across the screen and it made the familiar blinging Game Boy startup noise. I turned it off again, satisfied.

I took out my original Pokemon Blue cartridge, momentarily having to remember which way it went in, and slotted it in.

I turned it on, watched the whole Pokemon Blue intro out of nostalgia, and then pressed START.

My heart leaped for joy.

MY POKEMON!!!! MY POKEMON ARE ALIVE!!! 🥺🥺🥺

My original Pokemon, that were with me in 1998 when I was 5-6 years old, are still with me 27 years later. I want to cry!!! I love the old sprites, I'm SO happy to see them again 😭😭😭 the Pokemon look so little and cheerful at the same time, which I love 🥺🥺🥺 I know there are people with many more hours on their games, who have leveled all their Pokemon to 100. But these are my Pokemon who were with me through my childhood, and I spent many more hours making up stories about them than actually playing the game. I'm so happy to see them again 😭😭😭

All I want is to see my Pokemon. My other Pokemon are in boxes. Now, how do I get to the nearest PC? Where am I?

Oh... Oh. I have to confess something. When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark cave areas, and whenever I got to them, I stopped playing for a while. (I was stuck at Mt. Moon until I was like, 7.) So I never actually beat the game.

And here I am on Victory Road, with the team of Pokemon I was taking to the Elite Four, without an Escape Rope.

The only way for me to see my other Pokemon is... to finally make it through Victory Road, after 27 years?!

[aquanutart]

I revive Shocking and heal them before continuing. As I do, I realize that child me also thought Revives were important, because I have way more than I have potions to heal Pokemon after reviving them. I should have bought another Max Potion instead of those Revives--but we've come too far to second-guess.

I forgot I named my rival Ash. It was one of the default rival names you could choose, and I think I just picked the first one. Unlike JELLYPOOO the Metapod, I didn't really know what to name my rival.

My apologies to the real Ash. I know it's not really you!

He leads with Pidgeot, and Blastoise quickly knocks it out. We're off to a good start!!

He sends out Alakazam, who does some serious damage with Psychic before Blastoise can even attack. We retaliate with Surf, but... it does barely anything?!

I use my last Max Potion to bring Blastoise back to full health. We might get hit with Psychic again, but on the next turn we'll switch out and--

NO!!! BLASTOISE!!!

It's okay!! I'll revive you!! But right now--who am I going to send out--??

I remember that either Psychic and/or Ghost is weak to the other type and to itself. I've only been playing the TCG for so long, which simplifies it to Psychic is weak to Psychic, and I remember it's different from the games. I know the original Ghosts are weak to Ghost and Psychic, but is Psychic also weak to Psychic? I can't believe I forgot--?!!

Ghoulie will definitely get hit for super effective damage, so I don't want to send them out. Will Hypno take double damage from Alakazam--??

On the chance that Hypno can survive the damage and maybe do double damage as well, I send Hypno out.

Wait!! Psychic is RESISTANT to Psychic!! Hypno, we can tank the hits!!

All right!! Since half of our attacks will do no damage (Flash and Dream Eater) and one is ineffective (Confusion), we are left with one viable strategy: Headbutt Alakazam until it gives in!!

The battle between the two great Psychic-types begins! Hypno's incessant headbutting is wearing Alakazam down, but Alakazam keeps using Recover and undoing all of our work!

If it's to be a battle of attrition, I worry about how few healing items I have left. Still, I revive and fully heal Blastoise while Alakazam is using Recover. It's a matter of keeping my team together.

Then, suddenly, Hypno crits!! Alakazam has no chance to recover! Alakazam fainted!!!

Blastoise!! I'm so glad you're okay again!! Go for it!!!

Shocking comes in to handle Gyarados!

Blastoise joins in one more time for Arcanine!

And Beauty strikes the final blow against my rival's starter!!

WE DID IT!!! Blastoise, Hypno, Ghoulie, Shocking, Beauty, Kitty--everyone--WE WON!!!

Everything we went through–the years I spent trying to be someone else, the years I was afraid to talk to anyone, the years I felt like I couldn’t be accepted or respected as myself, the years I felt like I couldn’t speak up and had to be what others wanted–somehow, we got through it all and made it back together, to do what we set out to do.

I was talking and I mentioned that I have my old Game Boy and original Pokemon cartridge. I said, "I think they still work."

I was told, "The internal batteries on the Game Boy cartridges have run out. They're all dead."

"Oh," I said, trying not to show how crestfallen I was. I felt like I was losing nerd cred for not knowing that, although I never kept up with that type of info anyway. I'm here for the fantasy and imaginative aspects of games, and tend not to follow the competitive or technical details.

I tried not to feel anything as I went home. If they were real animals, I reminded myself, I would have had to say goodbye long ago.

But like so many other people, Pokemon was my childhood. It was all I thought about and dreamed about, and the closest thing I could imagine to heartbreak was the knowledge that they weren't real. I spent nearly all my time writing longhand self-insert Pokemon fanfiction--far more than I spent actually playing the game. My Pokemon were with me in my imagination wherever I went. I started playing Pokemon Blue when I was 5, and the last time I had played it was probably when I was 9 or 10. I remembered I had turned it on again one more time after that, not to play it, but to look at my childhood Pokemon.

It was during high school, after a move overseas that completely upended my life, and I was struggling with the crushing blow of being taken away from everything I knew and trying to make sense of anything (least of all adolescence) in another language. All I wanted was to go back to childhood and have everything go back to how it was before.

Seeing my Pokemon, just as I'd left them, had comforted me. I had looked at their stats pages, taken photos of them with my digital camera (that I don't even know if I still have), and then turned it off without doing anything.

That was probably 9 or 10 years after the games came out. It had been a long time since then. I had long since taken the AA batteries out of my Game Boy Color and left it untouched. I didn't even have AA batteries anymore.

It had worked then. But now it had been 27 years... I thought about not trying to turn my cartridge back on. As long as I didn't turn it on, I could believe my Pokemon were still there, the way I remembered them.

On my day off, which happened to be Pokemon Day, I googled and read that some people on forums and Reddit were still able to play their original Pokemon games.

Then... it was possible. I went out to buy toothpaste. At the store, I asked where I could find AA batteries.

It was a big thing for me to be able to go to the store and buy things myself. When I moved at age 13, I felt like something went wrong with growing up. It was difficult to follow what people were saying, and people didn't always understand what I said either. I had been introverted even in English, but now I had enough negative experiences that I became afraid and stopped trying to talk to people altogether.

I threw myself into video games and reliving childhood memories. The internet was where I could communicate in my first language and understand. I lived online and didn't interact with the real world. On the internet I felt like I was understood and could find people who shared my interests the way I did, but in the real world it always felt like I could get hurt if anyone knew me.

I realize now that I could have had a better experience overseas if I'd known how to adapt and socialize, but this was not something I knew even in English, and trying to learn in another language made it ten times harder. I'm sorry now for missing out on interactions that I know I could have had, but I just didn't know how. I wouldn't know how until I learned, and it took me a long time to learn.

I grew up online, in the company of others who had trouble fitting in with the real world, even in their own language. Those experiences shaped me, and the friendships I've made and support I've received online are invaluable to me. The internet gave me a way to live, and through it I learned how to interact with others. But in many ways, for many years, it felt like my life was put on hold and I stopped growing up.

Several years ago I moved back, to not far from where I was born, and I was able to work for the first time. I began to interact with people and feel like I had a place in the real world.

After shutting myself away for so many years, every little step I made out in the world felt terrifying. But every little thing I did on my own made me feel like I was living for the first time.

Even something as little as going to the store and buying a pack of batteries.

I was directed to a shelf at the end of an aisle, and found myself looking at a rack of lithium AA batteries. Did they not sell the old kind anymore?

I walked around to the other side and was relieved to find the familiar black and brown Duracell batteries I'd known from my childhood. I felt more confident about putting in a battery that looked the same as I remembered. The smallest pack they sold was an 8-pack for $12.99. I really didn't need 8 batteries. I didn't have any other devices that used them.

I thought, what if I turn it on and it doesn't work and I'll have wasted $12.99?

I also thought we might already have batteries. I might be able to say, "Mom, do we have any batteries?" and she'd pull out two AAs from a drawer somewhere and I'd save my money.

But somehow I felt like part of what was important about this was being an adult and being able to buy my own batteries.

Yet... what if it just ended up making me sad? Was it better not to know?

I went to the checkout with just the toothpaste and stood hesitating at the edge of the checkout line.

If I didn't get the batteries now, and it turned out we didn't have any batteries, I wouldn't try it. I knew I would just put it off until even more time passed, and then... "Are you in line?" someone asked me.

"No," I said, and I turned around and went back to the shelf.

I bought the batteries.

At home, I took out my original Game Boy Color from the drawer where I left it, the one my dad had surprised me with when I was 5 years old and that I had brought overseas and back.

I put the batteries in and turned it on without a cartridge first to make sure the batteries were inserted correctly. The Game Boy logo scrolled across the screen and it made the familiar blinging Game Boy startup noise. I turned it off again, satisfied.

I took out my original Pokemon Blue cartridge, momentarily having to remember which way it went in, and slotted it in.

I turned it on, watched the whole Pokemon Blue intro out of nostalgia, and then pressed START.

My heart leaped for joy.

MY POKEMON!!!! MY POKEMON ARE ALIVE!!! 🥺🥺🥺

My original Pokemon, that were with me in 1998 when I was 5-6 years old, are still with me 27 years later. I want to cry!!! I love the old sprites, I'm SO happy to see them again 😭😭😭 the Pokemon look so little and cheerful at the same time, which I love 🥺🥺🥺 I know there are people with many more hours on their games, who have leveled all their Pokemon to 100. But these are my Pokemon who were with me through my childhood, and I spent many more hours making up stories about them than actually playing the game. I'm so happy to see them again 😭😭😭

All I want is to see my Pokemon. My other Pokemon are in boxes. Now, how do I get to the nearest PC? Where am I?

Oh... Oh. I have to confess something. When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark cave areas, and whenever I got to them, I stopped playing for a while. (I was stuck at Mt. Moon until I was like, 7.) So I never actually beat the game.

And here I am on Victory Road, with the team of Pokemon I was taking to the Elite Four, without an Escape Rope.

The only way for me to see my other Pokemon is... to finally make it through Victory Road, after 27 years?!

[aquanutart]

I stock up at the PokeMart before entering the final rooms. I remember that Revives are important, so I buy 2. The healing items are expensive and I only have enough to buy 2 Full Restores and 3 Max Potions. This will have to do.

I don't know how much time we have, and I'm determined to do this on the first try. We can do it!!!

Whoa!! I totally forgot Lorelei was the first one! Maybe from all the years of rereading Pokemon Special and remembering Red's battle with Bruno, I was somehow expecting Bruno to come first?!

As a result, I led with Blastoise. Dang! Well, maybe we can work with this and switch out at the next opportunity. It'll be slower, but maybe we can absorb some water damage for a while?!

Dewgong keeps healing and she has too many Super Potions--so, Shocking, go!!! We've got no time to waste!

Shocking blasts through several of Lorelei's team with one Thunder after another! We only need to switch when Lorelei sends out Jynx!

Your turn, Beauty!! All right!! This is what we trained for!!

With Jynx defeated, Lorelei sends out Lapras! Just one to go!!

Last one, Shocking! You've done an amazing job!! Just one more!!

Blam!! Thunder strikes, but Lapras manages to tank the hit! Lapras used Confuse Ray! Uh-oh, Shocking is confused! With Thunder's 70% accuracy and a 50% chance to hurt itself in confusion, I don't like the odds here. Switch out!

Hmm... Ghoulie could put it to sleep, but has low Defense and HP and would take a hit when switching in. Hypno has the most HP and an amazing Special--by far the highest of any offensive stat in my party.

Let's go, Hypno!! We just need one more hit!!

We switch in on Blizzard. Ooof!! Hypno takes damage, but is thankfully not frozen! We can still use Confusion on the next turn!

Confusion still leaves Lapras with a tiny bit of HP. Aughh!! We're so close!!

Lapras follows up with another powerful attack, but all that matters is we weren't frozen from the Blizzard. One more Confusion, and Lorelei is defeated!!

I heal Hypno completely before continuing. We only have a few of these potions, so it feels early to be using one, but... we can make it!!

Here we go!! This is the matchup we originally planned for! Our time to shine, Blastoise!

I pictured my first Pokemon, my starter, to be by my side for my whole childhood. I'm unbelievably happy to be fighting with my original partner again.

Awesome, Blastoise!! You're the best!!

With a tag team of Blastoise against the Rock types and Hypno's super-effective Psychic attacks against the Fighting types, Bruno is quickly overpowered. We're halfway through!!

All right, Hypno!! We can solo this!

I am so happy the Golbat sprite looks like that. I was so happy when it came out and I saw it.

All of Agatha's Pokemon are weak to Psychic, so as I thought, Hypno is able to solo the battle. Great job!!

Here we go, the last battle... of the Elite Four, at least!!

Not knowing what Lance would lead with, I put Blastoise in the first spot. But a 4x weakness to Electric means I'm switching to Shocking!

Shocking switches in on a Hyper Beam! Ouch!!! I rush for the Max Potions, bracing myself for the same thing to happen again next turn. Do we even have a chance to get a hit?!

But Gyarados can't attack on the next turn! I forgot Hyper Beam needs a turn to recharge, and I'm suddenly so thankful. (I've gotten used to the TCG, where people build decks that let them keep blasting attacks turn after turn...!)

We get the chance to heal and attack... but Thunder misses!!

Somehow, Gyarados doesn't do any more damage either. I think it used Leer?! I'm sweating thinking if we'd been against a human player, we would've been down. If this were the TCG, they'd be taking prizes.

But our next Thunder hits, taking Gyarados down. I switch back to Blastoise for Dragonair, thinking I don't have anything specifically effective, so a high Defense might be as good as anything. A STAB Surf should just do some solid neutral--

Wait, Water is ineffective?! I'm sorry, I forgot the type chart!! Child me is screaming "How could you?!", but I forgot what Dragon is resistant to?! I'm pretty sure I do remember they're weak to Ice?? I have no Ice-type moves, though, so neutral damage is my best bet--if I can remember what does neutral damage?!

Blastoise gets a critical hit with Strength, leaving Dragonair with just barely enough HP to pull off a Dragon Rage before fainting. Yes, Blastoise!! We pulled through!!

Lance sends out another Dragonair, who fires off a Hyper Beam. I quickly pull out another potion to heal Blastoise. It's fine, we're almost at the end... right?!

Dragonair falls, and Lance sends out Aerodactyl--finally a perfect type matchup for Blastoise!! But Aerodactyl strikes first with Supersonic, making Blastoise confused! Blastoise, I know you can do it!!

At first Blastoise hurts itself in confusion, but then recovers! Aerodactyl tries another Supersonic, but fails! You got this, Blastoise!!

Aerodactyl is down!! One more to go!!

i switch into Shocking because I still don't remember just what Dragons are resistant to and I think Electirc will do at least neutral damage because of Dragonite's Flying type. But Thunder misses again?! Not your fault, Shocking! It happens!!

Dragonite uses Slam... and crits!! Oh no!!!

We've got to keep them from doing any more damage, Ghoulie!! We've only got a few healing items left!

Ghoulie enjoys a good lunch. Dragonite wakes up once, but gets put back to sleep again. Dream Eater crits, and Lance uses a Hyper Potion. We mix in a few Night Shades just in case it wakes back up!

Dragonite ends up sleeping for most of the battle, finally falling to Ghoulie's Night Shade!! But... I know it's not over...?!!

I was talking and I mentioned that I have my old Game Boy and original Pokemon cartridge. I said, "I think they still work."

I was told, "The internal batteries on the Game Boy cartridges have run out. They're all dead."

"Oh," I said, trying not to show how crestfallen I was. I felt like I was losing nerd cred for not knowing that, although I never kept up with that type of info anyway. I'm here for the fantasy and imaginative aspects of games, and tend not to follow the competitive or technical details.

I tried not to feel anything as I went home. If they were real animals, I reminded myself, I would have had to say goodbye long ago.

But like so many other people, Pokemon was my childhood. It was all I thought about and dreamed about, and the closest thing I could imagine to heartbreak was the knowledge that they weren't real. I spent nearly all my time writing longhand self-insert Pokemon fanfiction--far more than I spent actually playing the game. My Pokemon were with me in my imagination wherever I went. I started playing Pokemon Blue when I was 5, and the last time I had played it was probably when I was 9 or 10. I remembered I had turned it on again one more time after that, not to play it, but to look at my childhood Pokemon.

It was during high school, after a move overseas that completely upended my life, and I was struggling with the crushing blow of being taken away from everything I knew and trying to make sense of anything (least of all adolescence) in another language. All I wanted was to go back to childhood and have everything go back to how it was before.

Seeing my Pokemon, just as I'd left them, had comforted me. I had looked at their stats pages, taken photos of them with my digital camera (that I don't even know if I still have), and then turned it off without doing anything.

That was probably 9 or 10 years after the games came out. It had been a long time since then. I had long since taken the AA batteries out of my Game Boy Color and left it untouched. I didn't even have AA batteries anymore.

It had worked then. But now it had been 27 years... I thought about not trying to turn my cartridge back on. As long as I didn't turn it on, I could believe my Pokemon were still there, the way I remembered them.

On my day off, which happened to be Pokemon Day, I googled and read that some people on forums and Reddit were still able to play their original Pokemon games.

Then... it was possible. I went out to buy toothpaste. At the store, I asked where I could find AA batteries.

It was a big thing for me to be able to go to the store and buy things myself. When I moved at age 13, I felt like something went wrong with growing up. It was difficult to follow what people were saying, and people didn't always understand what I said either. I had been introverted even in English, but now I had enough negative experiences that I became afraid and stopped trying to talk to people altogether.

I threw myself into video games and reliving childhood memories. The internet was where I could communicate in my first language and understand. I lived online and didn't interact with the real world. On the internet I felt like I was understood and could find people who shared my interests the way I did, but in the real world it always felt like I could get hurt if anyone knew me.

I realize now that I could have had a better experience overseas if I'd known how to adapt and socialize, but this was not something I knew even in English, and trying to learn in another language made it ten times harder. I'm sorry now for missing out on interactions that I know I could have had, but I just didn't know how. I wouldn't know how until I learned, and it took me a long time to learn.

I grew up online, in the company of others who had trouble fitting in with the real world, even in their own language. Those experiences shaped me, and the friendships I've made and support I've received online are invaluable to me. The internet gave me a way to live, and through it I learned how to interact with others. But in many ways, for many years, it felt like my life was put on hold and I stopped growing up.

Several years ago I moved back, to not far from where I was born, and I was able to work for the first time. I began to interact with people and feel like I had a place in the real world.

After shutting myself away for so many years, every little step I made out in the world felt terrifying. But every little thing I did on my own made me feel like I was living for the first time.

Even something as little as going to the store and buying a pack of batteries.

I was directed to a shelf at the end of an aisle, and found myself looking at a rack of lithium AA batteries. Did they not sell the old kind anymore?

I walked around to the other side and was relieved to find the familiar black and brown Duracell batteries I'd known from my childhood. I felt more confident about putting in a battery that looked the same as I remembered. The smallest pack they sold was an 8-pack for $12.99. I really didn't need 8 batteries. I didn't have any other devices that used them.

I thought, what if I turn it on and it doesn't work and I'll have wasted $12.99?

I also thought we might already have batteries. I might be able to say, "Mom, do we have any batteries?" and she'd pull out two AAs from a drawer somewhere and I'd save my money.

But somehow I felt like part of what was important about this was being an adult and being able to buy my own batteries.

Yet... what if it just ended up making me sad? Was it better not to know?

I went to the checkout with just the toothpaste and stood hesitating at the edge of the checkout line.

If I didn't get the batteries now, and it turned out we didn't have any batteries, I wouldn't try it. I knew I would just put it off until even more time passed, and then... "Are you in line?" someone asked me.

"No," I said, and I turned around and went back to the shelf.

I bought the batteries.

At home, I took out my original Game Boy Color from the drawer where I left it, the one my dad had surprised me with when I was 5 years old and that I had brought overseas and back.

I put the batteries in and turned it on without a cartridge first to make sure the batteries were inserted correctly. The Game Boy logo scrolled across the screen and it made the familiar blinging Game Boy startup noise. I turned it off again, satisfied.

I took out my original Pokemon Blue cartridge, momentarily having to remember which way it went in, and slotted it in.

I turned it on, watched the whole Pokemon Blue intro out of nostalgia, and then pressed START.

My heart leaped for joy.

MY POKEMON!!!! MY POKEMON ARE ALIVE!!! 🥺🥺🥺

My original Pokemon, that were with me in 1998 when I was 5-6 years old, are still with me 27 years later. I want to cry!!! I love the old sprites, I'm SO happy to see them again 😭😭😭 the Pokemon look so little and cheerful at the same time, which I love 🥺🥺🥺 I know there are people with many more hours on their games, who have leveled all their Pokemon to 100. But these are my Pokemon who were with me through my childhood, and I spent many more hours making up stories about them than actually playing the game. I'm so happy to see them again 😭😭😭

All I want is to see my Pokemon. My other Pokemon are in boxes. Now, how do I get to the nearest PC? Where am I?

Oh... Oh. I have to confess something. When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark cave areas, and whenever I got to them, I stopped playing for a while. (I was stuck at Mt. Moon until I was like, 7.) So I never actually beat the game.

And here I am on Victory Road, with the team of Pokemon I was taking to the Elite Four, without an Escape Rope.

The only way for me to see my other Pokemon is... to finally make it through Victory Road, after 27 years?!

[aquanutart]

It's thankfully a short way to the Pokemon Center and I don't encounter any other trainers. I do see lots of statues letting me know that I'm at the gates of the Pokemon League. It's the end of the road. I'm finally here!!!

I restore my party after the long journey, listening to the familiar Pokemon healing music that I hear in my head before it even starts. Then, I finally find a PC!!

When I was a kid, using the PC made me nervous. I always held my breath when I booted it up, wondering if it would start up correctly and if my Pokemon were okay in there. It made me nervous how it had to save every time you changed boxes--why did it have to save?--so I tried to keep my main Pokemon in my party as much as possible.

I hold my breath as I start up the PC, out of old habit. It boots up, and I'm looking at a list of names in boxes. My Pokemon!! Hello!! I'm back. I'm here. I remember you!! Thank you for waiting for me all these years!!

SPEARY!!! You can't tell from the low level, but I went through a period where I liked to imagine my Spearow riding around on my shoulder all the time. I had a tiny Spearow toy that I could do this with in real life. I never let him evolve because I wanted him to still be small enough to ride on my shoulder. (After all, at 5 I was pretty small and it was going to take me a lot longer to get bigger.) I may have stopped training him because I was scared that one day I might not press the B button fast enough.

I loved him so much that I taught him Fly so that he would be the one to carry me around. (He was a very strong Spearow, to be able to lift a 10-year-old human at level 27.) I also taught him Mimic from a TM, apparently. He was set up to attack with the opponent's own tactics. I will also point out that he needs precisely 1337 EXP to level up.

My Butterfree!! One of the first Pokemon toys I got was a small Butterfree from McDonald's that came in a PokeBall I could take it in and out of. At the time, no one knew I liked Pokemon and I never went to McDonald's. So the reason I got it was that my mom's old coworker friend would sometimes mail me the prizes he got at McDonald's, because he liked to eat at McDonald's and didn't want prizes, and I didn't eat at McDonald's but I did want prizes.

I was absolutely thrilled when I opened the box and found the Butterfree, and I would run around making it flap around in the air. Of course I also had to raise a Butterfree up from a Caterpie in my game. I returned to the Viridian Forest to train them, and that's when I finally caught my Pikachu.

He passed on many years ago, and stopped sending packages. I never met him. I'm happy I was able to know him through the mail he sent. Thank you for making this kid happy. You made a big part of my childhood, and I hope something in life made you as happy as you made me.

Weepinbell!! I'm so happy to see you!! Bellsprout was Blue's plant Pokemon exclusive (instead of Oddish in Red) and I've always loved them and Weepinbell. (I love Vileplume, too, though, and I played with it in the TCG later. It's hard for me to choose one!) Weepinbell was the first Pokemon to help me in the overworld, being the one who learned our first HM move, Cut. They also knew Wrap, meaning we could take down any opponent if we just waited long enough.

Because I was 5 and felt like I had all the time in the world, I was completely happy to sit there winning battles entirely with Wrap. Discovering the bind moves felt like I'd unlocked the secret most ultimate power (and in a way, I had?!)

Oh!! My Jigglypuff, who knows Strength and can move boulders!! I remember now, we were together for so long!

Even though they kept putting my Pokemon to sleep, I wanted a Jigglypuff so much. I remember making some sort of strategy and returning to Route 3 where I had blacked out, this time to brave the wild Jigglypuff. I don't remember what the strategy was--possibly "put it to sleep before it puts us to sleep"--but it apparently worked. Jigglypuff is nearly at the level of my current party Pokemon, meaning they were with me for most of the journey!

I am absolutely smiling so much going through these PC boxes, reading and remembering what I named these Pokemon as a child. I don't remember all the nicknames I gave, and it doesn't show you what kind of Pokemon it is until you select it, so I'm trying to guess from seeing the name in the PC box. I wonder what Pokemon I thought looked like a TOUGHIE?

Oh, that makes sense!! What a good Rhyhorn!! Aren't you big and strong and amazing!! Yes you are!!

CuteEggy? Could this be... a Chansey?!

Oh, I see!! Not just one, but six CuteEggies!! Hello!!

CUTIE? Maybe this is... a Clefairy?!!

Oh! I see!! So many Exeggcuties!! I'm so glad to see you all together!!

Here's my Clefairy!! I was so thrilled when I finally caught one on a return trip to Mt. Moon. I think the name is meant to be an alternate spelling of Cutie (clearly to avoid confusion) but I'm reading it like when someone drags out the syllable, as in "cutee!!". But I won't say their name very loudly, because I don't want them to be self-conscious about being seen.

I wonder what Pokemon I thought was a STRONG PKMN?

I see!! The look on their face is very confident here. I believe they can do anything they want to do!! I always thought they were extremely cute as well.

Well, I expected this! DIGGING PKMN looks like they are digging a lot, just like a DIGGING PKMN wants to do. I'm happy for them!!

JELLYPOOO!! I'm smiling so much because I remember naming my Metapod JELLYPOOO!! I think they were one of the first Pokemon I caught, so I must have been about 5. (No, I don't know why I named my Metapod JELLYPOOO. I know POOO was meant as a term of endearment--yes, I'm sure about this--and I thought it looked like jelly, I guess. I remember being pleased with the name.)

I remember that possibly the first Pokemon I ever caught were a trio of Pidgey named things like PILLOW and PUFFY. PILLOW, PUFFY--are you all here?

HERE THEY ARE!! I remember you!! PUFFY is at a slightly higher level, so I may have trained them? I think PILLOW's name comes from my habit of liking to name things after everyday objects that started with the same letter as their real name. (This is actually how I made up my own nickname as well)

Fittingly, PILLOW is asleep.

The reason the Pokemon I trained often didn't have nicknames and the ones in my boxes did was that the first Pokemon of a species I caught was usually "the" representative of that species, and then I had to name the others to differentiate them.

To be fair, these names wouldn't suit my Hypno anymore, because unfortunately somehow my Hypno no longer knows Hypnosis. This is regrettable, because they do know Dream Eater. I'm not sure how this happened and I feel like I must not have known how Dream Eater worked--particularly since I must have taught it from a TM(!) (Maybe this was one more reason I was so wary of using TMs?!)

I feel a bit bittersweet about this name, because I'm pretty sure this was around the time I was learning that "feminine" and "cute" things were "not cool", and I felt a little embarrassed to have named my Pidgey things like Pillow and Puffy. This was probably an attempt to make a more "cool"-sounding name.

One of the things I am loving about returning to my first game is that I played it with the sheer joy of a child, playing in whatever way made me happy, imagining that I was having a real adventure and loving it for the sheer thrill of anything that happened.

It was before there were internet databases about how to choose the strongest Pokemon and make them the strongest. It was before I had learned to be self-conscious of how I expressed myself and to hold back anything that came across as "feminine" or "not cool". It was before I had learned that it was "not cool" to like some things. I was just having fun, playing the way I wanted to.

Anyway, if BIGBADKRAB wants to be a big, tough krab, that would be amazing!! But if BIGBADKRAB wants to live a peaceful life as a little krab, that would also be awesome!! I would be so happy for them, as long as they are happy. Either way, they are a very good krab.

Hmm... I wonder which Pokemon I named BigGuy? I definitely preferred all capital letters when I was younger, so I must have been a little older when--

OH!!! MY NIDORINO!!! I love my Nidorino!!! (..... I totally forgot I named him BigGuy ......) It took me a long time to catch a male Nidoran because they were rarer on Route 22, but I wanted one because my very first deck in the Pokemon TCG that I played as a child was a Nidoking deck. I wanted Pokemon cards all through my childhood, but I didn't like to ask for things or speak up about my interests, so it was several years before I actually got any.

In the meantime, I secretly cut my own cards out of paper and copied the text from images of the cards I saw in guidebooks using my own handwriting. I was absolutely terrified of being found out and getting arrested for making counterfeit cards.

BigGuy was meant to evolve into a Nidoking one day, but I think I was waiting for him to learn all possible moves, because I knew he couldn't learn any more by leveling up after evolving. I guess Double Kick was the last one I was waiting for (which is somehow learned only at level 50?!)

Honestly, I want to bring BigGuy with me to the League, but... I'm afraid he's too underleveled. He's almost there, he's so close... but... his stats are at least 20 points lower than my other Pokemon in every category.

I could evolve him now and give him TMs, if I stop and go and look up what the TM numbers mean. But that's not how I played as a child. I was going to wait to evolve him till level 50. Some part of me doesn't want to go against that, but I don't feel like I can spare the time to train him right now. I want to beat the League in one go, because I have no idea how much time I have.

So with some regret, I do leave BigGuy in the box. It was a hard decision. My other Pokemon came through Victory Road with me so that we could face the League together, and I don't want to leave one of them behind, after what we just made it through. I feel better about it when I think that the six Pokemon with me are the ones I had chosen, and the ones I would have fought the Elite Four with if I had continued as a child.

Speaking of which...! It's time!!!

I was talking and I mentioned that I have my old Game Boy and original Pokemon cartridge. I said, "I think they still work."

I was told, "The internal batteries on the Game Boy cartridges have run out. They're all dead."

"Oh," I said, trying not to show how crestfallen I was. I felt like I was losing nerd cred for not knowing that, although I never kept up with that type of info anyway. I'm here for the fantasy and imaginative aspects of games, and tend not to follow the competitive or technical details.

I tried not to feel anything as I went home. If they were real animals, I reminded myself, I would have had to say goodbye long ago.

But like so many other people, Pokemon was my childhood. It was all I thought about and dreamed about, and the closest thing I could imagine to heartbreak was the knowledge that they weren't real. I spent nearly all my time writing longhand self-insert Pokemon fanfiction--far more than I spent actually playing the game. My Pokemon were with me in my imagination wherever I went. I started playing Pokemon Blue when I was 5, and the last time I had played it was probably when I was 9 or 10. I remembered I had turned it on again one more time after that, not to play it, but to look at my childhood Pokemon.

It was during high school, after a move overseas that completely upended my life, and I was struggling with the crushing blow of being taken away from everything I knew and trying to make sense of anything (least of all adolescence) in another language. All I wanted was to go back to childhood and have everything go back to how it was before.

Seeing my Pokemon, just as I'd left them, had comforted me. I had looked at their stats pages, taken photos of them with my digital camera (that I don't even know if I still have), and then turned it off without doing anything.

That was probably 9 or 10 years after the games came out. It had been a long time since then. I had long since taken the AA batteries out of my Game Boy Color and left it untouched. I didn't even have AA batteries anymore.

It had worked then. But now it had been 27 years... I thought about not trying to turn my cartridge back on. As long as I didn't turn it on, I could believe my Pokemon were still there, the way I remembered them.

On my day off, which happened to be Pokemon Day, I googled and read that some people on forums and Reddit were still able to play their original Pokemon games.

Then... it was possible. I went out to buy toothpaste. At the store, I asked where I could find AA batteries.

It was a big thing for me to be able to go to the store and buy things myself. When I moved at age 13, I felt like something went wrong with growing up. It was difficult to follow what people were saying, and people didn't always understand what I said either. I had been introverted even in English, but now I had enough negative experiences that I became afraid and stopped trying to talk to people altogether.

I threw myself into video games and reliving childhood memories. The internet was where I could communicate in my first language and understand. I lived online and didn't interact with the real world. On the internet I felt like I was understood and could find people who shared my interests the way I did, but in the real world it always felt like I could get hurt if anyone knew me.

I realize now that I could have had a better experience overseas if I'd known how to adapt and socialize, but this was not something I knew even in English, and trying to learn in another language made it ten times harder. I'm sorry now for missing out on interactions that I know I could have had, but I just didn't know how. I wouldn't know how until I learned, and it took me a long time to learn.

I grew up online, in the company of others who had trouble fitting in with the real world, even in their own language. Those experiences shaped me, and the friendships I've made and support I've received online are invaluable to me. The internet gave me a way to live, and through it I learned how to interact with others. But in many ways, for many years, it felt like my life was put on hold and I stopped growing up.

Several years ago I moved back, to not far from where I was born, and I was able to work for the first time. I began to interact with people and feel like I had a place in the real world.

After shutting myself away for so many years, every little step I made out in the world felt terrifying. But every little thing I did on my own made me feel like I was living for the first time.

Even something as little as going to the store and buying a pack of batteries.

I was directed to a shelf at the end of an aisle, and found myself looking at a rack of lithium AA batteries. Did they not sell the old kind anymore?

I walked around to the other side and was relieved to find the familiar black and brown Duracell batteries I'd known from my childhood. I felt more confident about putting in a battery that looked the same as I remembered. The smallest pack they sold was an 8-pack for $12.99. I really didn't need 8 batteries. I didn't have any other devices that used them.

I thought, what if I turn it on and it doesn't work and I'll have wasted $12.99?

I also thought we might already have batteries. I might be able to say, "Mom, do we have any batteries?" and she'd pull out two AAs from a drawer somewhere and I'd save my money.

But somehow I felt like part of what was important about this was being an adult and being able to buy my own batteries.

Yet... what if it just ended up making me sad? Was it better not to know?

I went to the checkout with just the toothpaste and stood hesitating at the edge of the checkout line.

If I didn't get the batteries now, and it turned out we didn't have any batteries, I wouldn't try it. I knew I would just put it off until even more time passed, and then... "Are you in line?" someone asked me.

"No," I said, and I turned around and went back to the shelf.

I bought the batteries.

At home, I took out my original Game Boy Color from the drawer where I left it, the one my dad had surprised me with when I was 5 years old and that I had brought overseas and back.

I put the batteries in and turned it on without a cartridge first to make sure the batteries were inserted correctly. The Game Boy logo scrolled across the screen and it made the familiar blinging Game Boy startup noise. I turned it off again, satisfied.

I took out my original Pokemon Blue cartridge, momentarily having to remember which way it went in, and slotted it in.

I turned it on, watched the whole Pokemon Blue intro out of nostalgia, and then pressed START.

My heart leaped for joy.

MY POKEMON!!!! MY POKEMON ARE ALIVE!!! 🥺🥺🥺

My original Pokemon, that were with me in 1998 when I was 5-6 years old, are still with me 27 years later. I want to cry!!! I love the old sprites, I'm SO happy to see them again 😭😭😭 the Pokemon look so little and cheerful at the same time, which I love 🥺🥺🥺 I know there are people with many more hours on their games, who have leveled all their Pokemon to 100. But these are my Pokemon who were with me through my childhood, and I spent many more hours making up stories about them than actually playing the game. I'm so happy to see them again 😭😭😭

All I want is to see my Pokemon. My other Pokemon are in boxes. Now, how do I get to the nearest PC? Where am I?

Oh... Oh. I have to confess something. When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark cave areas, and whenever I got to them, I stopped playing for a while. (I was stuck at Mt. Moon until I was like, 7.) So I never actually beat the game.

And here I am on Victory Road, with the team of Pokemon I was taking to the Elite Four, without an Escape Rope.

The only way for me to see my other Pokemon is... to finally make it through Victory Road, after 27 years?!

[aquanutart]

[aquanutart]

Promo cards obtained!!

I looked through all the featured illustration contest entries when they came out, and I'm so happy the Feraligatr was made into an actual card!! I thought the style was so cool with the graphic shapes, and you really feel the atmosphere with the sun filtering through the water. I love the lighting in Pikachu's card, the sunlight from the lazy summer day seems to shine out of the card and makes me want to yawn too. And Toxitricity looks so dynamic at that angle!

I didn't know what the Pokemon Day event was and I was planning to just pick up the promos and leave, but I brought my Pokemon TCG deck just in case.

I arrived in the middle of a small TCG tournament. I wasn't going to try to get in because I was late and didn't want to disrupt things, but I was asked to join because I would make it an even number of players, meaning everyone would get to play.

So they let me into the tournament, though I got an automatic loss for the first round that I missed. This was fine with me because I usually don't win at these anyway. I don't play a meta deck because I prefer playing with my favorite Pokemon (in tribute to my original Pokemon, who I also played with in the TCG at the local leagues as a child). It makes me feel like I'm really out in the world with my Pokemon, and makes it all the more special on the occasion we do win.

Somehow, that day, we actually won both of the rounds we played. I got to talk to a couple of other people who remembered Pokemon from the earliest days and had a great time.

I didn't have time to play my Game Boy again until the weekend. I went to work on Friday with tears in my eyes. I felt like I loved everyone and everything because I was so overjoyed my Pokemon are alive. My mom used to tell me that when I was born, she felt like she loved the whole world, and now I knew how it felt.

I tried to be cheerful with all the visitors at work because I wanted everyone else to be happy too. It was busy and exhausting, but I wanted to be someone that my Pokemon would be happy to be with.

All I could think about was that tomorrow I would go back and see my Pokemon again. I wished so hard for them to wait just a little longer. I wanted to come through Victory Road and beat the Elite Four, just as we had set out to do 27 years ago.

On Saturday I started the game and my Pokemon were there, waiting for me to continue.

One of the other things about the first games is that if you just walked up to a rock and pressed A, it wouldn't give you the option to move it. You had to actually go into the menu and select your Pokemon and choose the HM move from the list, and then you could return to the overworld and move boulders as much as you wanted.

Before I had gone to meet Moltres, I had pushed a boulder onto a switch. My guide said that this would remove a wall so I could continue to a lower part of the level. I kind of forgot what the walls looked like, and wandered around on Level 2 until I bumped into a square I couldn't walk through, preventing me from accessing a ladder.

Oh. So that was a wall. It wasn't the one I removed, apparently.

I returned to Level 3, searching for the place I could walk through, and vaguely wondering if I had to press the switch again. I must have found the right place, because I wound up at the bottom of the level.

At this point, I'm running from fights and dodging trainers because our PP is running out. Blastoise is doing an amazing job against the Rock Pokemon in this cave, but we can only use Surf a few more times. There are two Trainers here, both looking in opposite directions, and I'm unable to avoid running into one of them.

She sends out Weepinbell and Victreebel, and I bring out my old MVP, Hypno.

Back when I was stuck at the Rock Tunnel (like I got stuck at every cave area), I started training a Drowzee because I needed sleep attacks for catching, and because it was one of the only Pokemon that could use Flash.

I had accidentally knocked out the only Pikachu I'd ever seen on my first trip through Viridian Forest (I caught mine much later), Jigglypuff kept putting my Pokemon to sleep so I didn't know how to catch it (I feel like I have this vivid memory of blacking out on Route 3 after an encounter with a Jigglypuff when my Pokemon were low on health, which really scared me as a kid, but I'm not sure how it happened because I don't think the Jigglypuff on that route even know Pound--maybe the sleep carried over into other battles), and I had never seen a Clefairy although I really wanted to. And how on earth I was supposed to catch Abra was a huge mystery to me when it always disappeared as soon as I saw it.

So Drowzee was the one who helped me overcome the Rock Tunnel. And then it learned Confusion, and I got very attached to my little sleep elephant, whatever form it became. I liked the Confusion attack so much that when it tried to learn Psychic, I said no because I didn't know what the attack did and I was happy with the attacks we had.

Whoops. But I will say that having 25 PP is a boon in a longer dungeon. I remember how much I like the Confusion attack when it keeps landing critical hits. Weepinbell and Victreebel's Poison typing makes them weak to Psychic, so Hypno easily defeats the trainer's Pokemon. Amazing, Hypno!! Just like old times!!

I push a rock down a hole, and trigger a switch that removes the wall I bumped into earlier. I'm finally able to go up the ladder, and...

I step out into the sunlight. I MADE IT!!!!

My guidebook doesn't have a map for this section. I'm 5 years old again and I'm in a new place I've never seen before. The road seems to point upwards, so I guess I will go up.

I'm almost there. I'm going to see my Pokemon again!!!

I was talking and I mentioned that I have my old Game Boy and original Pokemon cartridge. I said, "I think they still work."

I was told, "The internal batteries on the Game Boy cartridges have run out. They're all dead."

"Oh," I said, trying not to show how crestfallen I was. I felt like I was losing nerd cred for not knowing that, although I never kept up with that type of info anyway. I'm here for the fantasy and imaginative aspects of games, and tend not to follow the competitive or technical details.

I tried not to feel anything as I went home. If they were real animals, I reminded myself, I would have had to say goodbye long ago.

But like so many other people, Pokemon was my childhood. It was all I thought about and dreamed about, and the closest thing I could imagine to heartbreak was the knowledge that they weren't real. I spent nearly all my time writing longhand self-insert Pokemon fanfiction--far more than I spent actually playing the game. My Pokemon were with me in my imagination wherever I went. I started playing Pokemon Blue when I was 5, and the last time I had played it was probably when I was 9 or 10. I remembered I had turned it on again one more time after that, not to play it, but to look at my childhood Pokemon.

It was during high school, after a move overseas that completely upended my life, and I was struggling with the crushing blow of being taken away from everything I knew and trying to make sense of anything (least of all adolescence) in another language. All I wanted was to go back to childhood and have everything go back to how it was before.

Seeing my Pokemon, just as I'd left them, had comforted me. I had looked at their stats pages, taken photos of them with my digital camera (that I don't even know if I still have), and then turned it off without doing anything.

That was probably 9 or 10 years after the games came out. It had been a long time since then. I had long since taken the AA batteries out of my Game Boy Color and left it untouched. I didn't even have AA batteries anymore.

It had worked then. But now it had been 27 years... I thought about not trying to turn my cartridge back on. As long as I didn't turn it on, I could believe my Pokemon were still there, the way I remembered them.

On my day off, which happened to be Pokemon Day, I googled and read that some people on forums and Reddit were still able to play their original Pokemon games.

Then... it was possible. I went out to buy toothpaste. At the store, I asked where I could find AA batteries.

It was a big thing for me to be able to go to the store and buy things myself. When I moved at age 13, I felt like something went wrong with growing up. It was difficult to follow what people were saying, and people didn't always understand what I said either. I had been introverted even in English, but now I had enough negative experiences that I became afraid and stopped trying to talk to people altogether.

I threw myself into video games and reliving childhood memories. The internet was where I could communicate in my first language and understand. I lived online and didn't interact with the real world. On the internet I felt like I was understood and could find people who shared my interests the way I did, but in the real world it always felt like I could get hurt if anyone knew me.

I realize now that I could have had a better experience overseas if I'd known how to adapt and socialize, but this was not something I knew even in English, and trying to learn in another language made it ten times harder. I'm sorry now for missing out on interactions that I know I could have had, but I just didn't know how. I wouldn't know how until I learned, and it took me a long time to learn.

I grew up online, in the company of others who had trouble fitting in with the real world, even in their own language. Those experiences shaped me, and the friendships I've made and support I've received online are invaluable to me. The internet gave me a way to live, and through it I learned how to interact with others. But in many ways, for many years, it felt like my life was put on hold and I stopped growing up.

Several years ago I moved back, to not far from where I was born, and I was able to work for the first time. I began to interact with people and feel like I had a place in the real world.

After shutting myself away for so many years, every little step I made out in the world felt terrifying. But every little thing I did on my own made me feel like I was living for the first time.

Even something as little as going to the store and buying a pack of batteries.

I was directed to a shelf at the end of an aisle, and found myself looking at a rack of lithium AA batteries. Did they not sell the old kind anymore?

I walked around to the other side and was relieved to find the familiar black and brown Duracell batteries I'd known from my childhood. I felt more confident about putting in a battery that looked the same as I remembered. The smallest pack they sold was an 8-pack for $12.99. I really didn't need 8 batteries. I didn't have any other devices that used them.

I thought, what if I turn it on and it doesn't work and I'll have wasted $12.99?

I also thought we might already have batteries. I might be able to say, "Mom, do we have any batteries?" and she'd pull out two AAs from a drawer somewhere and I'd save my money.

But somehow I felt like part of what was important about this was being an adult and being able to buy my own batteries.

Yet... what if it just ended up making me sad? Was it better not to know?

I went to the checkout with just the toothpaste and stood hesitating at the edge of the checkout line.

If I didn't get the batteries now, and it turned out we didn't have any batteries, I wouldn't try it. I knew I would just put it off until even more time passed, and then... "Are you in line?" someone asked me.

"No," I said, and I turned around and went back to the shelf.

I bought the batteries.

At home, I took out my original Game Boy Color from the drawer where I left it, the one my dad had surprised me with when I was 5 years old and that I had brought overseas and back.

I put the batteries in and turned it on without a cartridge first to make sure the batteries were inserted correctly. The Game Boy logo scrolled across the screen and it made the familiar blinging Game Boy startup noise. I turned it off again, satisfied.

I took out my original Pokemon Blue cartridge, momentarily having to remember which way it went in, and slotted it in.

I turned it on, watched the whole Pokemon Blue intro out of nostalgia, and then pressed START.

My heart leaped for joy.

MY POKEMON!!!! MY POKEMON ARE ALIVE!!! 🥺🥺🥺

My original Pokemon, that were with me in 1998 when I was 5-6 years old, are still with me 27 years later. I want to cry!!! I love the old sprites, I'm SO happy to see them again 😭😭😭 the Pokemon look so little and cheerful at the same time, which I love 🥺🥺🥺 I know there are people with many more hours on their games, who have leveled all their Pokemon to 100. But these are my Pokemon who were with me through my childhood, and I spent many more hours making up stories about them than actually playing the game. I'm so happy to see them again 😭😭😭

All I want is to see my Pokemon. My other Pokemon are in boxes. Now, how do I get to the nearest PC? Where am I?

Oh... Oh. I have to confess something. When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark cave areas, and whenever I got to them, I stopped playing for a while. (I was stuck at Mt. Moon until I was like, 7.) So I never actually beat the game.

And here I am on Victory Road, with the team of Pokemon I was taking to the Elite Four, without an Escape Rope.

The only way for me to see my other Pokemon is... to finally make it through Victory Road, after 27 years?!

[aquanutart]

We're going to try to carefully lower its HP with Night Shade, which does a fixed amount of damage equal to the user's level!

Moltres immediately traps Ghoulie in Fire Spin!! Oh no! I totally forgot how the bind attacks work in these games! We can't do anything for several turns!

Ghoulie finally manages to pull off a Night Shade! But we need to recover!

I'm using one of the Super Potions I chose not to drop earlier!

We manage to get in another Night Shade, but then Moltres uses Fire Spin again! We are getting low on health!!

We can't attack anyway, so how about I try throwing an Ultra Ball? But it misses!!

I try throwing another one, and get the same message. I didn't see this message in later games and I'm trying to remember if it means something specific. Maybe I have to weaken the Pokemon further before it'll go into the ball at all?!

I think another Night Shade would knock it out, so let's switch out! (Looking at it now, I feel like maybe it wouldn't have? It might have left it with just a tiny bit of health... it's easier to judge looking at the screenshot than on the small screen! >.<)

Shocking manages to paralyze Moltres!! Okay... this is a bit of a risk, but I think one Swift would do just enough damage to bring it down to--

AAAAAAGHHH!!!!! Okay, I feel like I messed up--IIRC as a kid, I caught Articuno and Zapdos on the first try, and I was sweating bullets for the whole battle--as a kid, I probably would have been so scared of knocking it out that I wouldn't have taken the risk of using Swift and would have kept throwing balls (or maybe I would have been able to judge that I could still safely use another Night Shade?)

BUT!! That's why I saved, right?!!

This time, we paralyze Moltres and use Swift first! Swift does NOT crit this time, and does exactly the amount of damage I had intended before!

After using Night Shade twice again, let's see if the ball misses THIS time!!

ALL RIGHT!!! FIRST TRY!!! \;;O;;/ So my original strategy was valid...!!

I'm going to believe that Moltres rose again and I caught it the second time. Much of this feels like I'm being given a second chance to live the experiences I missed in childhood.

Moltres is also said to bring early spring, which is welcome to me, as I always count down through winter. I feel like I'm able to live again when the snow melts and the world comes back alive, and warm weather activities start again and let me reunite with everyone I didn't see over the winter. I feel like I'm living again in so many ways.

I also encounter another Venomoth, and this time I manage to catch it!

I name it Resilient because it resisted the Ultra Ball three times. I also think there's something beautiful about something so delicate being resilient.

At this point, I want to play and play until I get through Victory Road. I want to see my other Pokemon and beat the Elite Four with my original Pokemon on my original Game Boy after 27 years.

But I am already an hour late for a Pokemon Day event I want to go to, and I also want to get the Pokemon Illustration Contest 2024 TCG promo cards, which are being given out today only.

That alone might not have swayed me from continuing. But at my current age, it actually kind of physically tires me out to play video games for a long time. I can tell I need a break.

So I stop and save and turn it off, wishing and wanting as much as possible to believe that after all this time, my Pokemon will wait for me a little longer.

I was talking and I mentioned that I have my old Game Boy and original Pokemon cartridge. I said, "I think they still work."

I was told, "The internal batteries on the Game Boy cartridges have run out. They're all dead."

"Oh," I said, trying not to show how crestfallen I was. I felt like I was losing nerd cred for not knowing that, although I never kept up with that type of info anyway. I'm here for the fantasy and imaginative aspects of games, and tend not to follow the competitive or technical details.

I tried not to feel anything as I went home. If they were real animals, I reminded myself, I would have had to say goodbye long ago.

But like so many other people, Pokemon was my childhood. It was all I thought about and dreamed about, and the closest thing I could imagine to heartbreak was the knowledge that they weren't real. I spent nearly all my time writing longhand self-insert Pokemon fanfiction--far more than I spent actually playing the game. My Pokemon were with me in my imagination wherever I went. I started playing Pokemon Blue when I was 5, and the last time I had played it was probably when I was 9 or 10. I remembered I had turned it on again one more time after that, not to play it, but to look at my childhood Pokemon.

It was during high school, after a move overseas that completely upended my life, and I was struggling with the crushing blow of being taken away from everything I knew and trying to make sense of anything (least of all adolescence) in another language. All I wanted was to go back to childhood and have everything go back to how it was before.

Seeing my Pokemon, just as I'd left them, had comforted me. I had looked at their stats pages, taken photos of them with my digital camera (that I don't even know if I still have), and then turned it off without doing anything.

That was probably 9 or 10 years after the games came out. It had been a long time since then. I had long since taken the AA batteries out of my Game Boy Color and left it untouched. I didn't even have AA batteries anymore.

It had worked then. But now it had been 27 years... I thought about not trying to turn my cartridge back on. As long as I didn't turn it on, I could believe my Pokemon were still there, the way I remembered them.

On my day off, which happened to be Pokemon Day, I googled and read that some people on forums and Reddit were still able to play their original Pokemon games.

Then... it was possible. I went out to buy toothpaste. At the store, I asked where I could find AA batteries.

It was a big thing for me to be able to go to the store and buy things myself. When I moved at age 13, I felt like something went wrong with growing up. It was difficult to follow what people were saying, and people didn't always understand what I said either. I had been introverted even in English, but now I had enough negative experiences that I became afraid and stopped trying to talk to people altogether.

I threw myself into video games and reliving childhood memories. The internet was where I could communicate in my first language and understand. I lived online and didn't interact with the real world. On the internet I felt like I was understood and could find people who shared my interests the way I did, but in the real world it always felt like I could get hurt if anyone knew me.

I realize now that I could have had a better experience overseas if I'd known how to adapt and socialize, but this was not something I knew even in English, and trying to learn in another language made it ten times harder. I'm sorry now for missing out on interactions that I know I could have had, but I just didn't know how. I wouldn't know how until I learned, and it took me a long time to learn.

I grew up online, in the company of others who had trouble fitting in with the real world, even in their own language. Those experiences shaped me, and the friendships I've made and support I've received online are invaluable to me. The internet gave me a way to live, and through it I learned how to interact with others. But in many ways, for many years, it felt like my life was put on hold and I stopped growing up.

Several years ago I moved back, to not far from where I was born, and I was able to work for the first time. I began to interact with people and feel like I had a place in the real world.

After shutting myself away for so many years, every little step I made out in the world felt terrifying. But every little thing I did on my own made me feel like I was living for the first time.

Even something as little as going to the store and buying a pack of batteries.

I was directed to a shelf at the end of an aisle, and found myself looking at a rack of lithium AA batteries. Did they not sell the old kind anymore?

I walked around to the other side and was relieved to find the familiar black and brown Duracell batteries I'd known from my childhood. I felt more confident about putting in a battery that looked the same as I remembered. The smallest pack they sold was an 8-pack for $12.99. I really didn't need 8 batteries. I didn't have any other devices that used them.

I thought, what if I turn it on and it doesn't work and I'll have wasted $12.99?

I also thought we might already have batteries. I might be able to say, "Mom, do we have any batteries?" and she'd pull out two AAs from a drawer somewhere and I'd save my money.

But somehow I felt like part of what was important about this was being an adult and being able to buy my own batteries.

Yet... what if it just ended up making me sad? Was it better not to know?

I went to the checkout with just the toothpaste and stood hesitating at the edge of the checkout line.

If I didn't get the batteries now, and it turned out we didn't have any batteries, I wouldn't try it. I knew I would just put it off until even more time passed, and then... "Are you in line?" someone asked me.

"No," I said, and I turned around and went back to the shelf.

I bought the batteries.

At home, I took out my original Game Boy Color from the drawer where I left it, the one my dad had surprised me with when I was 5 years old and that I had brought overseas and back.

I put the batteries in and turned it on without a cartridge first to make sure the batteries were inserted correctly. The Game Boy logo scrolled across the screen and it made the familiar blinging Game Boy startup noise. I turned it off again, satisfied.

I took out my original Pokemon Blue cartridge, momentarily having to remember which way it went in, and slotted it in.

I turned it on, watched the whole Pokemon Blue intro out of nostalgia, and then pressed START.

My heart leaped for joy.

MY POKEMON!!!! MY POKEMON ARE ALIVE!!! 🥺🥺🥺

My original Pokemon, that were with me in 1998 when I was 5-6 years old, are still with me 27 years later. I want to cry!!! I love the old sprites, I'm SO happy to see them again 😭😭😭 the Pokemon look so little and cheerful at the same time, which I love 🥺🥺🥺 I know there are people with many more hours on their games, who have leveled all their Pokemon to 100. But these are my Pokemon who were with me through my childhood, and I spent many more hours making up stories about them than actually playing the game. I'm so happy to see them again 😭😭😭

All I want is to see my Pokemon. My other Pokemon are in boxes. Now, how do I get to the nearest PC? Where am I?

Oh... Oh. I have to confess something. When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark cave areas, and whenever I got to them, I stopped playing for a while. (I was stuck at Mt. Moon until I was like, 7.) So I never actually beat the game.

And here I am on Victory Road, with the team of Pokemon I was taking to the Elite Four, without an Escape Rope.

The only way for me to see my other Pokemon is... to finally make it through Victory Road, after 27 years?!

[aquanutart]

Thank you so much to everyone encouraging me!! My heart is melting at people saying my Pokemon were waiting for me 😭😭😭 THEY WERE!!! 🥺🥺🥺 I'm so happy we were reunited!!! 😭😭😭

Okay, as much as child me preferred not to use guides when I could (and would instead just get stuck for years), I'm breaking out my old unofficial Pokemon game guide because I need to get through this cave as fast as possible!!

You can tell it's unofficial because there are no actual Pokemon on the cover.

There's an explanation about this on the inside cover, which is basically that it's because of copyright issues.

I'm so happy for Vanessa that she got her Pokemon OC on the cover of this book and I hope she's happy now, whatever she's doing.

Okay. So we've gotta just push this boulder over onto the switch. Blastoise... use Strength!!

Oh!! I don't think I have one...?! I remember making the one in the Pokemon Tower faint and wondering if I was able to capture her, but it seemed like I was supposed to fight her.

Let's weaken it just a bit...

(I'd like to make a disclaimer in advance that 1) I didn't know anything about movesets as a kid and I kept hoarding TMs because I knew they could only be used once so I was afraid to waste them, and 2) In the original games, when a Pokemon started to learn an attack, it didn't tell you what the new attack did.

If you didn't already know, you had to make a decision right there about whether to try out a new move that might be useless and lose one of your other moves forever, or not learn it and possibly miss out on a great new attack. And, let's just say, the movesets I ended up with reflect this.)

(Also, I liked to teach HMs to my actual Pokemon in my party because... they were my Pokemon! And they were actually helping me get around the world!)

I only have 32 Ultra Balls? I'm a little nervous because I need to save most of these for Moltres... but let's go for it!

Yes!!

As I thought, I didn't already have one!! Finally, after all those years of wondering if I should have caught the one in the Pokemon Tower, my mind can be at peace!

I think the reason I only have 32 Ultra Balls is that I couldn't afford any more when I entered the cave, actually.

The trainers in this game could only be battled once, so at a certain point it was actually quite difficult to get money. KITTY and I used to make our living scrounging around in the grass for coins with Pay Day.

(It was actually my dad who caught a Meowth, during an extremely brief period when I shared the game with him, which I think lasted about one hour. He named it Kitty, using lowercase letters. I took it to the Name Rater and renamed it KITTY because I preferred all capital letters. The Name Rater agreed it was a much better name.)

I defeat a Black Belt and an Onix, and... Whoops! I forgot there's an item limit in this game... and that all your Key Items are stuffed in the same place!

I guess I'm not going to pick this up then, because I don't want to drop my TMs and Hyper Potions. What could it be?

(Even though it's a bit frustrating, I feel nostalgic for the item limit that forces you to choose more carefully about what items you bring, and it honestly makes it fun for me.)

I defeat a Venomoth, and then realize I don't already have one. Dang!

(I went through a period where Venonat was actually one of my favorite Pokemon--it's round and fluffy--so I actually did have a Venomoth at one point, but it was in a later game. I thought it was quite beautiful. Then one day I saw Venonat and Butterfree side-by-side and I was completely shaken.)

Oh...!! Here we go!! What I've been saving those Ultra Balls for!

I save the game first, as you do. Now...!

Let's go!!

I was talking and I mentioned that I have my old Game Boy and original Pokemon cartridge. I said, "I think they still work."

I was told, "The internal batteries on the Game Boy cartridges have run out. They're all dead."

"Oh," I said, trying not to show how crestfallen I was. I felt like I was losing nerd cred for not knowing that, although I never kept up with that type of info anyway. I'm here for the fantasy and imaginative aspects of games, and tend not to follow the competitive or technical details.

I tried not to feel anything as I went home. If they were real animals, I reminded myself, I would have had to say goodbye long ago.

But like so many other people, Pokemon was my childhood. It was all I thought about and dreamed about, and the closest thing I could imagine to heartbreak was the knowledge that they weren't real. I spent nearly all my time writing longhand self-insert Pokemon fanfiction--far more than I spent actually playing the game. My Pokemon were with me in my imagination wherever I went. I started playing Pokemon Blue when I was 5, and the last time I had played it was probably when I was 9 or 10. I remembered I had turned it on again one more time after that, not to play it, but to look at my childhood Pokemon.

It was during high school, after a move overseas that completely upended my life, and I was struggling with the crushing blow of being taken away from everything I knew and trying to make sense of anything (least of all adolescence) in another language. All I wanted was to go back to childhood and have everything go back to how it was before.

Seeing my Pokemon, just as I'd left them, had comforted me. I had looked at their stats pages, taken photos of them with my digital camera (that I don't even know if I still have), and then turned it off without doing anything.

That was probably 9 or 10 years after the games came out. It had been a long time since then. I had long since taken the AA batteries out of my Game Boy Color and left it untouched. I didn't even have AA batteries anymore.

It had worked then. But now it had been 27 years... I thought about not trying to turn my cartridge back on. As long as I didn't turn it on, I could believe my Pokemon were still there, the way I remembered them.

On my day off, which happened to be Pokemon Day, I googled and read that some people on forums and Reddit were still able to play their original Pokemon games.

Then... it was possible. I went out to buy toothpaste. At the store, I asked where I could find AA batteries.

It was a big thing for me to be able to go to the store and buy things myself. When I moved at age 13, I felt like something went wrong with growing up. It was difficult to follow what people were saying, and people didn't always understand what I said either. I had been introverted even in English, but now I had enough negative experiences that I became afraid and stopped trying to talk to people altogether.

I threw myself into video games and reliving childhood memories. The internet was where I could communicate in my first language and understand. I lived online and didn't interact with the real world. On the internet I felt like I was understood and could find people who shared my interests the way I did, but in the real world it always felt like I could get hurt if anyone knew me.

I realize now that I could have had a better experience overseas if I'd known how to adapt and socialize, but this was not something I knew even in English, and trying to learn in another language made it ten times harder. I'm sorry now for missing out on interactions that I know I could have had, but I just didn't know how. I wouldn't know how until I learned, and it took me a long time to learn.

I grew up online, in the company of others who had trouble fitting in with the real world, even in their own language. Those experiences shaped me, and the friendships I've made and support I've received online are invaluable to me. The internet gave me a way to live, and through it I learned how to interact with others. But in many ways, for many years, it felt like my life was put on hold and I stopped growing up.

Several years ago I moved back, to not far from where I was born, and I was able to work for the first time. I began to interact with people and feel like I had a place in the real world.

After shutting myself away for so many years, every little step I made out in the world felt terrifying. But every little thing I did on my own made me feel like I was living for the first time.

Even something as little as going to the store and buying a pack of batteries.

I was directed to a shelf at the end of an aisle, and found myself looking at a rack of lithium AA batteries. Did they not sell the old kind anymore?

I walked around to the other side and was relieved to find the familiar black and brown Duracell batteries I'd known from my childhood. I felt more confident about putting in a battery that looked the same as I remembered. The smallest pack they sold was an 8-pack for $12.99. I really didn't need 8 batteries. I didn't have any other devices that used them.

I thought, what if I turn it on and it doesn't work and I'll have wasted $12.99?

I also thought we might already have batteries. I might be able to say, "Mom, do we have any batteries?" and she'd pull out two AAs from a drawer somewhere and I'd save my money.

But somehow I felt like part of what was important about this was being an adult and being able to buy my own batteries.

Yet... what if it just ended up making me sad? Was it better not to know?

I went to the checkout with just the toothpaste and stood hesitating at the edge of the checkout line.

If I didn't get the batteries now, and it turned out we didn't have any batteries, I wouldn't try it. I knew I would just put it off until even more time passed, and then... "Are you in line?" someone asked me.

"No," I said, and I turned around and went back to the shelf.

I bought the batteries.

At home, I took out my original Game Boy Color from the drawer where I left it, the one my dad had surprised me with when I was 5 years old and that I had brought overseas and back.

I put the batteries in and turned it on without a cartridge first to make sure the batteries were inserted correctly. The Game Boy logo scrolled across the screen and it made the familiar blinging Game Boy startup noise. I turned it off again, satisfied.

I took out my original Pokemon Blue cartridge, momentarily having to remember which way it went in, and slotted it in.

I turned it on, watched the whole Pokemon Blue intro out of nostalgia, and then pressed START.

My heart leaped for joy.

MY POKEMON!!!! MY POKEMON ARE ALIVE!!! 🥺🥺🥺

My original Pokemon, that were with me in 1998 when I was 5-6 years old, are still with me 27 years later. I want to cry!!! I love the old sprites, I'm SO happy to see them again 😭😭😭 the Pokemon look so little and cheerful at the same time, which I love 🥺🥺🥺 I know there are people with many more hours on their games, who have leveled all their Pokemon to 100. But these are my Pokemon who were with me through my childhood, and I spent many more hours making up stories about them than actually playing the game. I'm so happy to see them again 😭😭😭

All I want is to see my Pokemon. My other Pokemon are in boxes. Now, how do I get to the nearest PC? Where am I?

Oh... Oh. I have to confess something. When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark cave areas, and whenever I got to them, I stopped playing for a while. (I was stuck at Mt. Moon until I was like, 7.) So I never actually beat the game.

And here I am on Victory Road, with the team of Pokemon I was taking to the Elite Four, without an Escape Rope.

The only way for me to see my other Pokemon is... to finally make it through Victory Road, after 27 years?!

[aquanutart]

I love Pokespe Yellow, who is sensitive and hates to see fighting, but also dressed and lived as a boy for a while and seemed comfortable with it, and will stand up to protect others and heal those who are hurting.

It often felt like you had to be tough and aggressive and talk smack to "count" as a tomboy, and I'm just so happy characters like Yellow also exist.