arbitrarilyinsipid

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

Please take your romanticization and glamorization of self harm, and eating disorders, and committing suicide, and alcoholism, and sadness, and shove them up your ass as far as you fucking can. This is not beautiful. But, you know what? You are, and it's about goddamn time you start believing it.

i love you, you piece of shit

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

TIL North Korean "Ghost Ships" keep washing up on Japanese shores full of corpses.

Article: http://edition.cnn.com/2015/12/02/asia/north-korea-ghost-ships-japan/index.html

Since I know none of y'all want to read the article...

Kim told the fisherman to catch more, so they risk staying out and straying too far from shore. The engines in their boats are unreliable, and when the engine dies at sea far from help, everyone starves and the boat drifts toward Japan because currents/wind.

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

TIL that Winona Ryder was born in a town named Winona.

TIL(Today I learned) that Winona Ryder was born in a town named Winona. Here is an article about the person herself: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winona_Ryder

Woah! Great find!

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

// Auf Wiedersehen //

Hey. I hope you’re doing well, and I’m pretty sure you will. I’m writing this last post so I can end things on my side. First of all, I don’t hate you. I love you. But this kind of love is killing every piece of me. So before I bid farewell, I just want you to know that you are a great person, probably the best thing I’ve ever had. So please, don’t settle for less. You deserve someone much better than me. Someone who’s love can melt your frozen heart. Someone who’s there if you need someone to talk to. Someone who is not dramatic and pathetic like me. Someone who will never let you fall asleep thinking you’re unwanted. Someone who will hold your hand and by doing just that can warm you up. Someone who is worried about you and checks you on a daily basis and lets you know that you are loved. Someone who sees galaxies in your eyes and hears music in your heart beats. But beyond all that, I hope you find someone who will never leave you behind no matter how hard it is to be with you. Someone who can tag along with your weirdness and never take you for granted and never treat you like shit. Someone who has seen you at your worst and has loved you still. Someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you in the cold and wouldn’t have you any other way. Someone who wants to be with you in good times and bad times. Someone who would walk you home when it gets dark making sure you get home safely and doesn’t mind if he gets home very late. Someone who will show you off to his friends. Someone who will take silly pictures with you. Someone who would not tire of asking you if you’re okay and bears with you despite your crazy mood swings. I really, fucking hope you fall in love with this kind of person. Because I’m 102% sure that his intentions are the greatest of them all. And that’s the kind of loving you deserve.

Thank you. For making me feel alive and having someone to look forward to. If we didn’t broke apart, this wouldn’t be a lesson to me and I would never have left my comfort zone. Thank you for helping me grow (insert lenny). You were my 2016. I’m leaving everything behind. I’m leaving you behind. Silly me, I know I can’t do that. So what I’m leaving behind are bad memories. I’m leaving behind the past. I am going to move forward whether you are there or not. 2016 can have my confusion and hatred. Let’s move on to happiness and a new beginning.

Lastly before I go, I’m sorry. I’m pretty sure you’re busy with someone else already. But hey, if ever you’re worried if I might get hurt, it’s alright. I wouldn’t mind getting every piece of me broken. From the moment I first laid my eyes on you I thought, “Hey, I want to see this girl happy.” and at that moment, all I ever wanted was to see you happy.

It’s okay, I understand. He’s intelligent, cute and somehow, funny.

Don’t worry, I wouldn’t choose me either.

I’m sorry I’m not what you wanted. You'll never know how much I tried.

Farewell, alien fren. It was nice meeting you.

I hope you found the happiness you didn’t have with me.

This is goodbye.

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

Yes, I guess you could say I’m a loner, but I feel more lonely in a crowded room with boring people than I feel on my own.

Henry Rollins

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

// e x c e r p t s //

It hurts.

Right now, all I can feel is the pain.

Twisting, turning, stabbing. It consumes me.

But everyone says, one day your heart will mend, and this sadness will end. But sitting here in darkness, I can’t see what they tell me. Just the abyss, in which I stare on-wards. Blankly.

You wanna know the truth?

The fucked up truth is, well, not everything happens for a reason. Sometimes people make the wrong decisions and they’re forced to live with them for the rest of their lives. And I know, I should live with mine, because I mean, what other choice do I have? You can’t turn back the clocks and redo things. You make a mistake and you pay the price, that’s the cold hard truth about life.

You can’t change a decision you’ve already made, wrong or right. But on the loneliness, I look up at the moon and I smile. Because although now we walk different paths, with different people and although I know that the years will pass and we won’t be together; I’ll always remember that for a brief, fraction of a moment, against all the odds, our stars crossed.

And that will always, always be enough for me.

it’s alright,

saving me was never your job anyway.

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

Kausapin mo kasi ako, alam mo namang ako lang nakakaintindi sayo.

yours truly

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

koya bakit po madrama po hihi

si ano kasi inano yung ano kaya anoooo inano ni ano si ano :^(((((

cri if u like evritime

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

One in a million.

Nandito na naman ako, para sa activity lang naman ng filipino subject namin kaya ko ginawa tong blog, pero sa tingin ko cacarreerin ko na ata tong pagsulat ko, kasi sa ganitong paraan, ma-eexpress ko yung mga bagay na hindi ko masabi sa personal, mga bagay na matagal nang nasa isipan ko, mga bagay na minsan ko na ring naisip na kung nasabi ko kaya ang mga to sa personal, may mag babago ba? Magbabago ba ang tingin ng mga tao sakin? Magiging kaibigan ko parin kaya yung mga katropa ko ngayon? Mag babago kaya ang takbo ng buhay ko? Ngayon, hindi muna natin siya paguusapan. Pagusapan natin ang sarili natin.

Bakit nga ba pag gusto natin ang isang tao, binabago natin ang sarili nating pagkatao? Bakit handa nating talikuran ang mga bagay na minsang nagpasaya sa atin para sa taong yun? Para ba mapansin ka niya? Para kahit papano magkaron siya ng interes sayo? O dahil gusto mong mangibabaw sa lahat, para isipin nilang iba ka, unique ka? Oo, minsan nagpapakahirap tayo na gawin ang isang bagay para sa taong yun at malulungkot tayo pag di nila kayang suklian yung hirap natin. Pero hindi dahil di nila pinapakita yun ay hindi ka na nila naaappreciate. Hindi dahil dun iisipin mo na wala kang kwentang nilalang. Dahil sa lahat ng mga ginagawa mo, naaapektuhan ang buhay nila. Kaya kung nalulungkot ka dahil dito, hindi ka nakakatulong. Kung gusto mong gumawa ng mabuti, wag na wag kang mag eexpect, makuntento ka sa kung anong meron ka. Dahil ang mga biyaya bigla bigla nalang papasok yan. Pag tuwing nagkakatuwaan kayo ng mga kaibigan mo, icherish mo yung mga moments na yun, dahil hindi mo malalaman kung yun na ba yung huli niyong pagkikita, kung mauulit pa ba yun. Dahil sa panahon ngayon, wala nang permanente sa mundo.

Wag na wag mo ring carreerin yang pagkalungkot mo, dahil lang tingin mo maganda ang pagiging unique. Hindi yan trend. Wag kang mag isip ng iba’t ibang rason kung bakit mas gusto mong maging malungkot. Pag sa tingin mo napapasaya ka ng taong yun kesa sa taong hinahabol mo, ingatan mo yung taong yun. Wag na wag mong sirain yung kasiyahan mo dahil lang “unique” at astig sa mga mata mo. Dahil kung ako tatanungin mo, ako lang naman ang isa sa libo libong tao na ibibigay lahat para lang maging masaya. Tapos ipapakita mo sakin na mas gusto mong maging malungkot? Kahit alam nating dalawa na hindi ka naman talaga dapat ganyan? Wala akong pinapatamaan dito, dahil sinulat ko to para mamulat tayo sa katotohanan, sa katotohanan na hindi natin dapat baguhin ang sarili natin para lang malaman mo kung san ka lulugar sa mundong to.

Nasayo na lahat ng oras na kailangan mo. Mag desisyon ka na hangga’t hindi pa huli ang lahat. Hindi titigil ang oras para sayo. At hindi din gumagana ang mundo ayon sa mga kagustuhan mo. Ikaw ang siyang nagbibigay kahulugan sa sarili mo, kaya paghirapan mo na mas higitan mo pa kung sino ka ngayon.

Hindi natitigil ang buhay sa isang tao lang. Isa kang reyna/hari ng sarili mong palasyo, gumawa ka ng mga bagay para maging makabuluhan ang iyong kwento sa mundong ito. Bago ko tapusin tong post ko, gusto ko lang sabihin na may nagmamahal sa inyo, hindi man yung crush mo o mahal mo, pero merong nagmamahal sa inyo, at isa na ako dun.

Labyu guys. Haha

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

pano po maglagay ng background music?

heyy, dito po http://scmplayer.net/ madali lang naman sundin haha, goodluck dude :>

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

hi

salamat sa ma-effort na message, i appreciate it, joke HAHAHAHAHAHA heyy smol ked :^)

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

ang pinakaunang babae sa buhay ko.

Siguro nung nabasa niyo yung title naisip niyo kung sino yung una kong naging girlfriend no? Oo, siya ang forever girlfriend ko. Kasi simula nung dinala ako sa mundong to, siya ang una kong nakita, siya yung una kong kinilala bilang magulang, at higit sa lahat, siya ang unang nagparamdam sakin na may nagmamahal sakin. Minsan mapapaisip nalang ako out of nowhere, tapos maaalala ko nalang yung mga kalokohang nagawa ko at ginawa ko. Tapos marerealize ko na, grabe, ang sutil ko palang bata nun. Oo, normal lang yon sa mga lalaki lalong lalo na bata pa kasi ako kaya siguro ako ganito umasta pero iba talaga eh. Kumpara sa mga trip ng mga kaibigan ko, ako talaga yung nangingibabaw. Nescafe lang eh no hahahahaha. Minsan nga ako pa yung pasimuno ng gulo eh hahahaha.

Kaya minsan bigla nalang ako mapupunta dun sa mood na gusto kong magpaka-sweet sa mommy ko. Yung tipong bigla nalang ako yayakap sa kaniya tapos magbibiro ng, “Mommy, naisip mo na rin ba na darating ka rin dun sa puntong gurang ka na tapos---” pak, sabay hampas sakin ni mommy HAHAHAHAHA, ayaw niya kasi ng ganon. Hindi ako mommy’s boy pero ganito lang talaga ako, mahal ko lang talaga mommy ko. Kung magbibigay ako ng isa sa mga ‘greatest blessings’ ko, siguradong isa siya dun. Minsan magkakasagutan pero alam ko na ginagawa niya din yung lahat para intindihin ako at tiisin ang kakulitan ko. Sa lahat ng mga kalokohan at katarantaduhan na ginawa ko sa buong buhay ko, nandito padin siya at di nagsasawang intindihin ako. Sa lahat ng mga masamang ginawa ko, di parin siya nagsasawang tanungin ako kung bakit ko nagawa yung mga yun, tapos iintindihin niya. Nung mga panahon na sobrang bata pa at sobrang kulit ko pa, parating napapatawag yung mga magulang ko sa guidance hahahaha, pero nandun si mommy, kapag kaming dalawa lang yung magkausap tatanungin niya muna kung ano ba talaga yung nangyari at kung bakit ko ginawa kesa yung maniniwala na kagad siya sa mga sumbong ng iba. Sa tuwing may pinagdadaanan ako at di ko pa sinasabi, ramdam niya na. I’m so glad I have her. Alam kong busy siya kasama si dad dahil may trabaho nga sila, pero nakakahanap padin siya ng time para kamustahin ako, kung nasan ako. Yung tipong papaalala niya sakin na wag muna mag bisyo kasi malalaman nila kung nagyoyosi ba ako o nainom pero sa totoo hindi naman talaga HAHAHAHA joke. Kaya nabbwiset ako sa sarili ko kung bakit minsan naiisipan ko pang magsinungaling sa kaniya eh.

Tapos bigla ko naisip na pag ako magaasawa, gusto ko yung parang mommy ko, kahit hindi naman eksakto pero nafefeel ko yung pagkamommy vibe hahaha. Alam kong imposibleng maghanap ng mga ganun pero sana talaga, sana. Di ko naman hilig yung mga babaeng mala-pak ganern kung mag paganda eh, pang-wife material okay na ko dun hahahaha. Sana talaga siya na, kasi parang awa niyo na nakakapagod nang maghanap ng iba. Tapos yun, dun ko nalang maiisip na sobrang thankful ako. 

“Eto na yung dalawang babae ng buhay ko;”

“Lord, thank you.”

“sobra.”

[arbitrarilyinsipid]

some facts about me

walang kasarian, alien. jk magandang lalaki :^)

16 years of disappointment

taken pero single ((aral muna))

yung atensyon ko nasa isang alien na, nakakapagod na maghanap ng tao lol

middle-child, iisang lalaking anak, opo, tatlo lang kami

hindi harry potter fan pero sakin lang si hermione, thanks

bibliophile pero hindi yung actual book, i love reading wall of texts

i can go from mr nice guy to psychopath real quick

abnormal

basketball lang yung nilalaro, hindi babae

proud procrastinator 

maloko, pero hindi pinapabayaan ang grades

suki ng guidance from 7 to 10th grade

marunong magluto, future housewife ampeg jk hahahaha

iba ako pag seryoso, magiiba yung takbo ng isip ko, lalo na pananalita, sobrang layo

kahit na ganyan, alam ko limitasyon ko

mahilig sa sasakyan, assistant ni daddy pag may inaayos lmao

i smoke, occasionally

i drink. ((water, softdrinks, iced tea))

hindi mahilig sa coffee, pero tinatry kong sanayin

songer hehez

yun lang muna sa ngayon hohoho salamat sa time :>