archetypical-series

[archetypical-series]

Archetypical will not update this Thursday. I’ve fallen behind a bit on the next longer chapter, and I prefer to complete a chapter and queue the whole thing up rather than fly by the seat of my pants (if possible).

So, there is a one-off story going up Monday morning, and the next story will begin Monday, December 2nd.

[archetypical-series]

I had some new cover art commissioned from Andreas Flouris. Here’s the banner version. I may have to post the whole thing somewhere. It’s pretty gorgeous.

[archetypical-series]

Series update: I just wrapped up the last few shorter stories. The arc that started today is going to run for quite a while. Hope it’s worth the ride; it’s been one of my favorites to write.

[archetypical-series]

The Princess Story finally wrapped up today. There's a short interstitial thing coming Thursday, and a new story begins next week, which will only be 4 parts.

[archetypical-series]

The Princess Story - Part 10

The next morning, Ty woke up early, or at least what he thought would be early, to take Elizabeth home. By the time he got dressed, settling for business casual that day since they were presumably in a hurry, he found Deejay and Elizabeth already waiting for him in the boardroom, looking out the massive picture window on the far side of the room. Elizabeth had her same dress on from the day before, and Deejay's outfit was unchanged except for the black Winger t-shirt. He had his arm around her, and Ty noticed a suspicious amount of smiles and laughs being exchanged between them.

“Morning, sunshine,” Deejay said to Ty, only briefly turning to acknowledge his presence.

He turned back to Elizabeth and put both hands on her waist, and she wrapped her arms around behind his head, like they were getting ready to slow dance at prom.

“Well, I hope you enjoyed your stay, Your Highness.”

“Oh, I did indeed,” she replied. “It was quite an experience.”

“Oh god. What happened?” Ty marched toward them. “Why are you two being that obnoxious PDA couple that everyone hates?”

“Oh relax,” Deejay said. “Nothing happened. We just decided to get up early so we could watch the sunrise together.”

“It was so romantic,” she added.

“And alright, we did kiss a little beforehand. Well, made out really... There was a bit of heavy petting... I taught her a couple of fun tricks that most girls have to read about in Cosmo.”

Ty nearly broke his glasses with the force that his palm hit his own face.

“...How in your screwed-up mind do you choose to describe that as 'nothing happened'? Do you realize what the hell you've done?”

“Yeah, I've made her future husband a very happy man. Will you chill out already? She's a big girl; she can make her own decisions.”

“Of course I can,” Elizabeth chimed in, holding Deejay close to her. “Really Sir Tyler, why are you so opposed to Deejay and I being together anyway?”

Ty strode up to them, visibly seething but trying to hide it. They instinctively separated, as if physically compelled to do so by the waves of anti-romance radiating off of him like the heat off of scorching asphalt in the middle of summer.

“You want to talk about it?” he asked. “Fine, let's talk about it. You like Deejay a lot, right? He makes you feel special?”

“Isn't it obvious?” She turned to look at Deejay again and smiled. “My heart races whenever he is near, and I'm filled with elation every time I look into his eyes. Yes, I like him very much, and I feel things for him that I've scarcely dared to feel for anyone before. I could even go so far as to say I love him.”

“You've known him for two days.”

“Is that so odd? Love at first sight may be the strongest kind of love there is. And why shouldn't I love him? When we first met, he bravely risked his life to save mine. And ever since that moment, our love has only grown stronger.”

Deejay nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I guess love's kind of a big word, but-”

Seemingly without hearing him, Elizabeth clasped his hand and continued heaping praises on him. Ty looked like he had something to say, but hesitated.

“He is brilliant and charming, and so strong yet so gentle as well. Really, what more is there to talk about? He makes me happy, and he is a great man.”

Deejay shrugged. “Hey, I'm not one to brag, but-”

“And I want him to marry me.”

“Wait, what?”

“And when we return to the castle, I will introduce him to my father so he may ask for my hand in marriage.”

“Okay, we really should discuss-”

“And then we'll start our new life together and have so many beautiful children-”

“Time out! Hold the phone! Take a breath! Just wait a minute here!”

Deejay pulled abruptly away from her, gesturing wildly. She looked pleadingly into his eyes.

“...Deejay?”

“Look, sweetie... as wonderful as that all sounds, I can't just get married right now. I have so many responsibilities here. Right, Ty? A-and the king might be mad at me for trying to run away with you. He would, right?”

Ty cleared his throat, but otherwise didn't respond. Elizabeth held Deejay's hands in hers, continuing to stare at him expectantly.

“None of that matters as long as we're in love. Don't you love me?”

“I... it's... we've known each other for two days! Isn't that too soon?” He looked at Ty again. “It is, right? You said it.”

Ty folded his arms. “Why do you expect me to help you right now?”

“Come on, what happened to all that sanctimonious 'butterfly effect, you're going to start a war' crap?”

“Oh, we're way past that. You're into 'reap what you sow' territory now.”

Elizabeth furrowed her brow. “Why won't you marry me? Wouldn't I make a fine wife?”

Deejay backed away as far as Elizabeth holding his hands firmly in hers would allow.

“Can we just take a minute to think this through? I like you a lot, and I'm sure you'd be a great wife, but am I really husband material? I mean, just politically speaking, don't you want to marry a prince or a lord or something? Your father definitely wouldn't want you marrying below your station.”

“You're not below my station. You might even be above it. Kings only rule over countries, but you rule over this whole world, don't you?”

“She's got you there...” Ty said.

Deejay shot him a frantic look. “Seriously, do you want to be an uncle by the time you're 24?”

Ty shrugged. “Our cousin had kids at 25. She's doing okay. And by Zalarian standards, she would've been an old maid, right?”

Deejay sighed. “Listen, Elizabeth, I'm not saying no, but let's not rush into this. Getting married right now is tough. I really do have a lot of important work to do here. People are counting on me and Ty. Right?”

Ty relented. “...Alright. Your Highness, I hate to admit it, but this place pretty much runs on Deejay's blood, sweat, and whatever fluid genius brains have in them. We can't really afford to have him distracted with married life. He may be a lord or whatever of this little world of ours, but he's also an architect, engineer, physicist, electrician, anthropologist, machinist, botanist, programmer, medic-”

“Uncertified. Except for that CPR course I took in high school.”

“He's overworked as it is. Adding husband and father to that list might just kill him.”

“Exactly. So you see, our getting married would kind of throw everything into disarray here. With so many people depending on me, I can't be selfish and turn my back on them in favor of marrying you.”

Elizabeth looked back and forth between the two of them, and her heart visibly sank.

“...I hadn't really thought of that. I suppose the needs of your people are important.”

“Right. So maybe it's best if we just take things slow for now. Maybe someday, if things calm down here a bit, and if you still really want to marry me, we can think about it then.”

“...I understand. I won't pretend I'm not disappointed, but I do understand. Nevertheless, I will hold out hope that we may be together someday.”

“Sure, sure. We're both young yet. You never know what the future will hold. Now come on, let's get you home before you father murders me.”

“As you wish, Sir Deejay...”

Her statement had an implied “you bastard” tacked onto the end of it. Or maybe that's just my mind filling that in.

Deejay escorted Elizabeth up to the roof, where they boarded the ship bound for her home. The ride back was completely silent. She tried to put on a brave face, but it was hard to hide the sadness, and slight sense of betrayal. She had read a lot of stories of young love and passionate romance. None of them ever ended like this. Realistically though, if they did, who would want to read them?

–

After returning Elizabeth safely and quietly back to her room, Deejay headed back to the Tower. He met up with Ty who was getting to work in the board room, answering messages from the people in town.

“Wow,” Deejay said. “Listen, thanks for the backup there. I think you saved my ass.”

“Believe me, I would've loved to just let you soak in it, but I meant what I said. These people need you. You're not Deejay the kid genius anymore. You're an adult, and with a lot more responsibilities than normal adults have to deal with. You started something big here. I need you to help me see it through.”

“Yeah, yeah. Well, thanks just the same. I owe you.”

“I know.”

Deejay itched at the spot on his arm where the bandage had been. All signs of injury were gone by that point.

“I still hated to send her off like that,” he said. “I basically said goodbye forever without actually saying it. But I guess it had to be done, didn't it?”

“Yeah.”

“...I haven't seen the last of her, have I?”

“I seriously doubt it.”

He hadn't, of course. But that's a story for another time.

[archetypical-series]

The Princess Story - Part 9

That night, Elizabeth was having trouble getting to sleep in her unfamiliar surroundings. Her father never let her spend a night away from home, and while she sort of resented him for it, she had gotten used to the luxury of her own bed. She briefly considered sneaking off and letting herself into Deejay's room, when the door suddenly opened. The light from the elevator crept into the darkened room. For a moment, Elizabeth thought Deejay might have had similar thoughts, but quickly realized the figure in her doorway was most definitely not him.

The man entering her room, if it was a man at all, stood close to six feet tall, with an imposing muscular frame. Long hair the color of blood hung limply around his face and down his neck. Enormous black leathery wings stuck out from his back, curling slightly around him like two terrible grasping hands, each as large as he was. The door slid closed behind him, and the room was cast back into darkness.

Elizabeth froze. The intruder didn't seem to have noticed her yet. She held her breath, and tried desperately to quiet her racing heart as he lumbered into the room, lurching slowly forward like the living dead. He made it as far as the end of her bed before he suddenly stopped. As he turned his head to face her, she could just make out a faint glow from his icy blue eyes.

“I didn't know someone was in here. Don't mind me. I won't be long.”

He turned and continued through the room. Elizabeth quietly reached for the comm on the nightstand, watching him with a mix of fear and curiosity, as he proceeded toward the kitchenette. Light once again invaded the room as he began rummaging through the fridge. He emerged moments later with a pair of bright green two-liter soda bottles. Then he moved on to the cupboards, locating and retrieving several large bags of chips, pretzels, and other assorted salty snacks.

With his arms full of refreshments, he sleepily trudged back to the door. He tapped the call button with the tip of his wing, and the elevator opened. Without another word or otherwise acknowledging Elizabeth's presence, he got on the elevator and left. Elizabeth sat frozen in the darkness for several more minutes, struggling to process what just happened.

–

Minutes dragged on into hours. Elizabeth tried to sleep but couldn't. By that point her previous fear had completely given way to curiosity. There was still so much about this place she didn't understand, and she was itching to know more. She slowly got out of bed and headed for the elevator. She brought the comm with her in case she stumbled onto anything more terrifying; anything that wasn't likely to be placated with junk food. She wasn't certain that Ty would be able to find her if she ran across something dangerous, but she hoped so.

Elizabeth pressed the elevator call button, and the door slid open. Inside on the wall, there was an image of the Tower. Elizabeth had seen Deejay tap on a spot where his name was written, and that had taken them to his room. Toward the top of the image, there was the word ROOF in capital letters, and a little below that was DEEJAY. Going down the side of the Tower, there were numerous other names or words, most of which she didn't recognize. BOARD, LAB, MALUS, GUEST, KITCHEN. At least “Kitchen” seemed self-explanatory, and she could hazard a guess which room “Guest” was. Below that were a lot of blank spaces where a word could be written, followed by the word GROUND.

Looking over the buttons, Elizabeth noticed something a bit off about one of the blank buttons. Most of them were obviously blank and untouched, but one toward the bottom seemed to have some faded fingerprint smudges on it. She found herself wondering what might be there that whoever labeled the rooms didn't feel the need to announce. She decided to press it and find out.

The elevator lurched slightly, and Elizabeth felt the pull of movement. Her previous elevator rides had lasted only moments. This one seemed to last minutes, although it was hard to tell how much of that was from anticipation. When the elevator stopped, the door opened on total darkness. She made her way slowly into the room, and the door closed behind her leaving the room pitch black. Nervously, she felt along the walls by the door for a light switch. When she found it, she flipped the switch up, bathing the room in pale blue light.

That's when I first saw her. When she first saw me.

I must have been quite the sight, curled up on the floor next to a bare mattress on a metal bed frame. I was holding my arms over my face trying to shield myself from the light, until my eyes finally started to adjust. My face was barely visible under a tangled, matted blob of black hair. It hadn't been washed in days. I still had on this old baggy white t-shirt and black jeans, both faded to the point where they were sort of grayish. No bra; I'm real classy like that. Oh, and I still had on that white flu mask covering the lower half of my face. So yeah, quite the sight.

“What is this?” she asked, incredulous. “Who are you?”

As she stepped closer, I tried to back away but I was already up against the wall. She was staring at my red eye. It was staring back at her. I felt my body trembling.

“Please, don't be frightened. What is your name? Why are they keeping you here?”

I was fighting just to keep my body still. I don't want to say what was going through my head. I never want to say. She looked down and pressed the button on the comm.

“Whatever the reason, Tyler has much to answer for.”

We waited together in silence. I could tell she wanted me to talk, to explain what the hell was going on. She could tell it wasn't going to happen. After a few agonizing minutes, Ty suddenly burst through the elevator door with his gun ready. He relaxed a bit and lowered the weapon when he saw we were both safe.

Somewhere in my clouded mind, I registered a little bit of amusement that he came downstairs in such a rush that he was still in his pajamas. I tried to focus on that silliness for the moment. I mean really, who wears actual pajamas? He looked like a 1960's sitcom dad, if not for the wild-eyed look and the massive revolver in his hand. Maybe early-to-mid-2000's sitcom dad, then.

“What are you doing down here?” he asked.

“Sir Tyler, you are the one who should explain yourself. Why is this girl being imprisoned here?”

He sighed. “She's not. This is her room.”

“This is a dungeon. Any fool could see that.”

“Alright, so we haven't had time to redecorate, but it's not that bad.”

She marched up to him angrily, pointing a finger in his chest. “I want an explanation! Who is she?!”

“Will you please lower your voice?”

He nodded toward me, and she turned back to look. I wasn't totally aware of what my body was doing by that point, but I must have been shaking pretty badly. Ty reached toward the light switch and turned the dimmer knob down, mercifully darkening the room a little more for me. I'm not sure the darkness ever actually helped anything, but I appreciated the effort.

“Alright,” he said to her, his voice barely above a whisper. It still carried clearly through the little room. “I'll give you the short version: we found her a couple of weeks ago, in a city a long way from here. She was out wandering the streets alone in a rainstorm. She wouldn't say what happened to her. The whole thing seemed really weird, but we couldn't just leave her there. We tried giving her the room you were staying in. She was a nervous wreck the whole time, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't eat. She cried and broke things a lot... At least down here in the dark she finally calmed down a bit.”

He was telling her the truth, at least in part, and I think she could tell. Elizabeth looked back at me, presumably with a look of pity. I had trouble focusing on her face.

“Where did she come from?” Elizabeth asked.

“I have no idea. She still hasn't said a word to us. If she even can.”

“Why is she wearing that mask? Is she disfigured somehow?”

“Not that I'm aware of. She got it from Deejay's lab after she first got here. No idea why she wanted it, but he let her have it. She hasn't taken it off since.”

Elizabeth looked around uneasily. “And... She actually chooses to stay in this place, all alone?”

“She can come and go as she pleases, at least within the Tower. She just... doesn't.”

They both fell silent for a bit. Sitting in the dark, my body started to settle down. My thoughts were calm, for the most part. Elizabeth took a step back toward me and looked into my eyes.

“Is he telling me the truth?” she asked. “Can I trust him?”

I wished she wouldn't get so close. But she did need to know the truth. I looked up at her and nodded as decisively as I could manage. I even threw in a weak thumbs-up for good measure.

“That's about the most communication we get out of her,” he added.

“But why would you stay here? Don't you have a home? Haven't you a family and friends who miss you?”

I looked down at the floor. Even if I could speak without my mouth betraying me, I wasn't ready to answer a question like that. She gave me a pitiful look but said nothing else.

“Want us to leave you alone?” Ty asked.

I nodded.

“I figured. Come on, Princess.”

She started to go with him, then turned back to me.

“Um, I'm sorry to have intruded. Whatever is troubling you, I hope it gets better soon.”

It did. Gradually.

The two of them got back on the elevator. Ty turned off the light on their way out. I rested my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, allowing the rogue thoughts to swirl restlessly through my head until sleep finally came to sweep them away.

–

Ty escorted Elizabeth back to the guest room. She still had a lot of questions for him.

“So, you really don't know anything about her?”

“Nothing that would help us find out where she came from. Anyway, she hasn't exactly shown a lot of urgency to go back, as you might have noticed.”

“Do you know her name at least?”

“Her first day here she wrote the letter 'J', but that was it. We've been calling her Jay since then.”

Elizabeth looked down at her feet. “Well, I'm sorry if I caused any trouble for you, or for her. I was only trying to help.”

“Now you know one reason I didn't want you getting too familiar with this place. Anyway, please try to get some sleep, Your Highness. We'll take you home at dawn. I just hope your father won't be too upset.”

“You don't need to worry about him. I locked the door to my room and was refusing to talk to him, so he likely hasn't noticed that I've left my room at all. But if he has noticed somehow, I'll say I ran away on my own. I'll make him believe it somehow.”

“Okay. Well, that's somewhat reassuring at least. Thank you.”

Ty turned to leave as Elizabeth started settling back into bed. She eyed the revolver he was still carrying. Apparently his pajamas didn't come with a holster.

“Sir Tyler?”

He stopped by the elevator. “Yeah?”

“Why did you need that weapon when you came to find me?”

“I never go anywhere without a weapon... But I guess that's not much of an answer, is it?”

“No, it isn't.”

He hesitated. “Well, now we're getting back into things I didn't want to have to burden you with... I'll put it this way: I honestly wasn't sure if I would need it or not. But I'm glad I didn't.”

“...So am I.”

She didn't really understand what he meant, which was probably for the best. Ty got back on the elevator.

“Goodnight, Princess.”

“Good night.”

Sleep still wouldn't come easily to Elizabeth, especially after our encounter, but eventually it did come. I can't say whether Ty slept any better, but knowing him I wouldn't count on it.

[archetypical-series]

The Princess Story - Part 8

The guest room in the Tower was laid out and furnished more or less like a mid-level hotel room. Not a total rat's nest, but nothing fancy. Just a couple of beds, a bedside table, armchair, dresser, closet, a little kitchenette area in the corner, and a bathroom. Ty spent more than a few minutes attempting to explain the basic modern amenities to a girl whose culture hadn't quite mastered running water yet. He at least had some experience with this kind of thing.

“So yeah, I think that covers the bathroom,” he said, hoping more detail wouldn't be necessary. “Now, when you're ready to go to sleep you'll want to turn the overhead lights off. The switch for that is on the wall there. Push it up if you want light, down if you want dark. Pretty easy.”

“Okay...”

“Lastly, you've got your communicator there. We call it a comm because we're too busy for extra syllables.” He pointed to a small plastic earpiece sitting on the bedside table. “If you have any problems, press the little round button on the back. I'll hear it and come check on you. Got it?”

Elizabeth looked uncertain, but nodded. “...Yes, I think so.”

“Sorry. This is all a little overwhelming, isn't it?”

“I've sometimes tried to imagine what sorts of wonders might exist in the world beyond Zalaria. I read some fantasy novels as a child and thought perhaps some of them could be real places. But I never could have imagined any of this.”

“We've had a lot of new arrivals in town who felt the same way. I usually tell them to pretend that they're dreaming. At least if this was a dream, all the crazy things going on around here would feel like they make sense.”

She laughed quietly to herself and smiled. “Well, when I met Sir Deejay, it certainly felt like a dream.”

“You really like him, don't you?”

“It's obvious, isn't it?” She looked at him intently. “You don't approve. Why not? What is it about me that you object to?”

“About you? Nothing.”

“Then why does it bother you? It's not just my father you're concerned about. There is something else. What is it?”

He paused, unsure how much to say. “...There are a lot more things about this world, and about us, that you don't understand. I don't want to pile any more of it on you than I already have. I just want you to consider this advice, from someone who has known Deejay his whole life and knows him better than he knows himself...”

“Very well.”

“If you just think he's cute, fine. Have fun, do what you want. But if you're having thoughts about love, romance, the future, building a life together, you're much better off forgetting about Deejay and finding someone from your world. He's no good for you.”

She studied him closely. The lenses of his glasses were lighter than their first meeting. Somehow, Ty is the one holdout from our world that doesn't think those color-changing lenses look ridiculous. The point is, she was able to clearly see his eyes for the first time. Like his brother, Ty's eyes could look anything from gray to pale green depending on the light. But where Elizabeth had gotten lost in the vitality and boyish curiosity in Deejay's eyes, Ty's just looked tired. And maybe a little sad.

“I can't understand why you would say something like that, about your own brother no less. However, since you are so insistent, and since you have known Sir Deejay much longer than I have, I will take your advice into consideration.”

“That's all I'm asking.”

She sat on the nearest bed. “I would like to see him again while I am here, though.”

“That might be difficult. He actually has a lot of work to do. Both of us do, in fact. Running a city is no easy feat, you know.”

She frowned. “You sound like my father.”

“Thank you.”

“That wasn't a compliment.”

“And that wasn't sincere gratitude.”

He turned and walked to the elevator.

“Anyway, I really need to go talk to him first, preferably alone.”

“Very well. Good day, Sir Tyler.”

“Good day, Princess.”

–

Ty returned to Deejay's room to find him lying on his bed reading his comic book.

“She's settling in,” Ty said. “Of course, she still wants to see you. I told her you and I needed to talk first.”

“I hope that was a lie,” Deejay said flatly.

Ty took a seat at the desk. Deejay kept his eyes on the comic, as if he could run and hide within its panels until the difficult conversation went away.

“Look, Deejay, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but this kind of thing concerns all of us, not just you.”

“That's a laugh, you not telling me how to live my life. Why do you care so much anyway?”

“Apart from being disappointed that my super-genius brother insists on applying his intellect to the asinine goal of getting laid? This is a dangerous game you're playing. It's already disruptive enough when you just pluck random girls out of their own worlds and let them know about this place. Their worlds aren't ready for confirmation of the existence of alternate universes. Hell, our own Earth isn't ready for that.”

“That's debatable.”

“And I'm sure we'll debate it again. But this time it's an actual princess? What if she lets something slip to her father about you, about us? That whole world is so much further behind technologically and culturally. This is not a revelation those people are going to handle well. And that's still the best-case scenario. The worst case is he snaps and sends his armies to tear the nearest continent apart trying to find you and cut your head off for daring to lay your hands on his little girl.”

Deejay kept staring at the same page, no longer reading as much as trying not to look guilty.

“The bottom line is this,” Ty continued. “Elizabeth goes home first thing tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I know-”

“And for the rest of the time she’s here, you don’t lay a hand on her.”

“Aw come on. She's stuck here overnight anyway.”

“Even if we ignore the fact that she's way too young for you-”

“Says you.”

“Says polite society.

“Not hers. By Zalarian standards, she's a few birthdays short of being an old maid.”

“Regardless. You really think nobody is going to figure out that it happened? They might not have a lot of modern technology over there, but they're not stupid. What are they going to think? Their culture isn't as sexually liberated as you'd like, and unkind rumors stick to celebrities and royalty like super glue. What's going to happen when she tries to get married to some prince down the road? She has a life back there Deejay, and she doesn't need you ruining it.”

Deejay glared at him. Ty crossed his arms and glared back, until Deejay backed down.

“...Okay. I guess that makes some sense.”

“Alright. I've got to get back to the boardroom. Try to stay out of trouble for the rest of the night. Maybe work on that warning thing for your medication you were talking about.”

Deejay sighed and went back to his comic.

“Already finished it, long before I picked her up. But please, keep reminding me to get my work done. I don't know what I'd do without you.”

“You want me to stop treating you like a kid? Then grow up.”

Ty turned and got back in the elevator. Deejay stuck his tongue out at him, then resumed reading.

[archetypical-series]

The Princess Story - Part 7

Elizabeth had never seen anything quite like Deejay's ship before. Even the suggestion of a flying ship seemed incredible; seeing it in person was mind-boggling. From the outside, it looked to her more like an enormous egg than a ship. As it opened, the entire spherical craft split in half, revealing four chairs in rows of two nestled into the bottom half. Everything about the ship was alien to her, from the fabric of its seat cushions to the metals and plastics on the console, to the array of screens and buttons laid out across it. Deejay mentioned proudly that he had dubbed the ship the Scyphozoan. Even its name seemed impossibly complicated and foreign.

At his suggestion, Elizabeth kept her eyes closed for the entire journey, which by her reckoning couldn't have been more than an hour. They didn't speak much during that time, rocking and shuddering sounds from the ship filling the silence, but the sense of quiet anticipation made her all the more excited to see what their destination would be like. Still, she obligingly kept her eyes shut even after he informed her that they had landed back at the Tower, wherever that was. As the ship opened, Deejay carefully led her by the hand out of the cockpit and down a few steps. To get the full effect of the reveal, he led her a few more steps toward the guard railing at the edge of the platform where they had landed.

“Okay, open your eyes,” he said.

She did, and gasped in awe at the view. To her right, rolling desert sands stretched as far as the eye could see. As her gaze scanned left across the landscape, the sand was gradually broken up by large stone outcroppings, growing into a long mountain range on the horizon.

When she moved closer and leaned over the railing, she could just make out Esperanza, a tightly-packed group of buildings arranged in a semi-circular pattern, to the south-west. The town looked like a tiny city of ants from the top of the Tower, tens of thousands of feet above the ground. Deejay held his arm out proudly like a game show host introducing a showcase of fabulous prizes.

“Welcome to my world.”

“Amazing...”

He laughed. “Not bad, right? I know, it’s a little on the barren side right now...”

“It’s beautiful. The view from here is astonishing.”

“Yeah, I like it well enough. I'd still like to see some more greenery instead of endless sand and rocks, but that's me. Anyway, come on. Let’s go inside. I have a lot more to show you.”

Deejay took her hand again and led her to the elevator. She followed his lead and stepped inside. He tapped the button for his room, and Elizabeth barely had time to register the sensation of movement before the doors opened moments later. She peered through the door, her mind swirling with equal parts awe, confusion, and curiosity.

Not that Elizabeth would have realized, but Deejay's room bore an uncanny resemblance to a college dorm room, only a bit more spacious. There was a twin-size bed to their left, a simple wooden desk and chair to the right, the bathroom door just beyond that, dresser at the end of the bed, mini fridge beside that, and some beanbag chairs and open floor space in front of a large closet at the opposite end of the room. There was a laptop, some books and miscellaneous junk on the desk, and the plain eggshell walls were covered with various posters torn out of old magazines. Most of them featured classic rock bands, but there were a few anime wall scrolls mixed in for color. Deejay stepped inside and presented the room.

“Please come in, Your Highness. Welcome to my humble abode. I know, it’s nothing special, but it suits me well enough.”

She stepped forward slowly, the door silently closing behind her. She turned around in place, still trying to take it all in.

“Yes, I suppose it does,” she said with a playful smile. “It has a sort of simple charm. Not unlike yourself.”

“Hah. Don't flatter me too much. If my ego gets any bigger it's going to start leaking out of my ears.”

She giggled. “You say the strangest things. But I believe I understand your meaning.”

“Good thing somebody does. Please, have a seat.”

He gestured to the bed. The two of them sat down beside each other.

“Now, we’ll need to keep pretty quiet for a bit. At least until my brother goes out. He hates it when I bring people home like this without telling him. But I figure what he doesn't know can't hurt him.”

“Is that so?”

The elevator door opened suddenly, and Ty stepped out.

“Gah!” Deejay jumped in place, and wound up perching on the edge of the bed like a gargoyle. “Ty? Dammit, how do you do that?”

“Plot convenience. Also, I get an alert in the boardroom whenever the ship returns. I'm pretty sure you helped me set that up.”

Deejay nodded sheepishly. “That I did. Dammit, past me, why must you always screw over present me?”

Elizabeth frowned. “You shouldn't barge into someone's room unannounced like that. It's terribly rude.”

She looked at Ty disapprovingly. He returned the look, although that is kind of just how he always looks. Finally, he shrugged.

“Alright, I'm sorry. For the sake of our royal guest, I'll make an attempt to be more polite.” He made a show of clearing his throat and adjusted his tie, which was royal blue in this case. “It's so nice to see you again, Your Highness. I don’t think we were properly introduced last time. I’m Tyler, co-owner of the Tower and older brother of this troublemaker here.”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Sir Tyler.”

She stood and curtsied before sitting again. Deejay rolled his eyes and settled back into his seat.

“Tch. Older brother. You're seven minutes older. Are you gonna hold that over me our whole lives?”

“Of course I am,” Ty said. “It's older brother tradition at this point. So, why don't you tell me why you’re going behind my back and bringing Princess Elizabeth to the Tower? And let me tell you, if this story doesn’t involve slaying a dragon or winning some kind of jousting competition, I will be seriously disappointed.”

“Well… I just wanted to see her again, and I knew there was no way I could just walk right into the castle and visit her, so…”

Ty rolled his eyes, which I'm sure is a phrase I'm going to be saying a lot.

“So, as long as you were already ignoring our rules about getting involved with prominent political figures and exposing them to technology that won't exist in their world for hundreds of years, you thought, ‘what the hell? I might as well make a day of it and kidnap a princess.’”

“I'm not being kidnapped,” Elizabeth protested. “I wanted to leave with Sir Deejay. My father is the one who was being stubborn and refusing to let me leave the castle.”

“Does your father know where you are now?”

“No… not as such.”

“And have you ever run away before?”

“Well, no... Unless abandoning my royal guard in the market for a few minutes counts.”

“So the day after his daughter is attacked by enemies of the crown who want her dead, the king now finds that the same daughter has mysteriously disappeared from the castle. He has no reason to believe she ran away on her own, and no idea where she could have gone. What conclusion does that reasonably lead him to? Kidnapping.”

Ty started clapping sarcastically.

“Congratulations, Deejay. You’ve just pissed in the afternoon tea of the King of Zalaria. What are you going to do next?”

“Ty, you’re making too much of this. She hasn’t been gone that long. I doubt anybody there has even realized she's missing yet. And even if they do, how big of a deal could it be? As long as I bring her home safe-”

“Butterfly effect, Deejay. Have you ever seen a parent when their child is missing, even for a little while? It's bad enough when that parent isn't in command of a country's military. When they are...”

“What, you think I'm going to start a war or something? Her father's not that crazy overprotective. Right?”

Elizabeth hesitated. “...Actually, the words 'crazy overprotective' seem quite apt for him. He was already very upset over yesterday. If he found out I was missing again...”

“Alright, I kind of see your point.”

“Good.” Ty folded his arms (speaking of things I'm going to be saying a lot). “Now, you’re going to return her to the castle right away and make damn sure they have no idea she was ever missing. Is that clear?”

Deejay sighed. “Yeah, okay...”

He looked at her for a beat, searching for something to say, when suddenly his eyes lit up.

“Oh, wait! I just remembered, the ship's fuel cells are still drained from all the travel I did this week. They’re recharging now, but it probably won’t be ready to go until tomorrow morning.” Deejay pumped his fist victoriously in the air. “Hah! Looks like Elizabeth is gonna have to spend the night with me after all!”

“Hold on, how can it be drained? Didn't you just use it to pick her up a few minutes ago?”

“Yeah, in hindsight that was a terrible idea. I had it in power saving mode and the ride back was pretty rocky.”

“I thought it was quite comfortable,” Elizabeth offered.

“But your main point of reference is the back of a wooden-wheeled vehicle on a cobblestone road. The ship's not supposed to feel like that.”

“It's not?”

Ty adjusted his glasses. “Wow. Okay yeah, if it's that bad we can't risk taking another trip right now. Damn... I’m sorry for the bother, Your Highness, but it looks like you’ll have to stay here until tomorrow.”

She shook her head. “Oh, it’s no bother at all. I would be happy to stay with Sir Deejay for the night.”

Deejay smirked and put his arm around her. Ty smirked back at him.

“Oh, Your Highness,” Ty said, “I wouldn’t dream of making a distinguished guest such as yourself share such a small room. We have a much larger, fully-furnished guest room a few floors below us for these kinds of occasions. You can stay there for the night. I think you'll find it much more comfortable.”

“Oh. Well thank you, Sir Tyler. That sounds wonderful.”

“Ty…” Deejay looked like a kid who'd just been told there's no Santa Claus. “You’re as cold as ice, man.”

Ty stepped back. “Well, now that that's settled, please allow me to show you to your room, Your Highness. If you’ll just follow me…”

He walked Elizabeth back to the elevator and they headed down, leaving Deejay sitting alone on his bed. He frowned and shook his head.

“Cold as ice...” He picked up a comic book off of his desk and started to flip through it, humming unconsciously. “...willing to sacrifice our love... You never take advice, someday- Aw great, now I've got Foreigner stuck in my head.”

[archetypical-series]

The Princess Story - Part 6

The next day in Zalaria, inside the main hall of the castle, Elizabeth was arguing with her father. Apparently he didn't take the whole kidnapping thing in stride as much as she did.

“But Father!-”

“That’s enough, Elizabeth,” the king said, trying not to raise his voice and only sometimes succeeding. “You are my only daughter, and yesterday I nearly lost you. I cannot allow such a thing to happen again.”

“But Father, this is cruel! I’m being punished for something that wasn't even my fault! It’s not fair!”

“I said that’s enough! Until this uprising is put to rest, you are to remain within the castle walls at all times, and that is final.”

Elizabeth made a show of crossing her arms and twisting her face into an ugly pout.

“Ugh! Fine! If that’s the way you’re going to be, I’ll just go to my room, and stay there!”

She turned and stomped angrily down the hall and up a staircase. Fredrick sighed and shook his head. Elizabeth continued up the stairs to her room. She went inside and locked the door. True to her word, that's where she stayed for the rest of the day.

–

That evening, while Elizabeth sat by her window reading, a servant came and knocked on her door.

“Lady Elizabeth?” an older woman's voice called. “It's nearly time for supper.”

“Go away,” Elizabeth said, eyes still buried in the pages. “I'm not coming down for supper tonight.”

“Milady, please-”

“I'm staying right here. I'll come out when I'm good and ready, and nothing you or anyone else says will change that. You can tell my father I said so.”

“Very well, Milady.”

Despite some reasonable concern, the servant did as she was told.

“Stupid father...” Elizabeth muttered.

She continued to read in peace for most of the evening. The book was an enchanting tale about a forbidden romance between a prince and princess from two warring nations. At least, she found it enchanting. I'm pretty sure I was reading way more salacious stuff than that by the time I was her age. Becoming engrossed as she was with the story, she almost didn't hear the gentle knocking just outside her window. She did hear the voice, though.

“Psst. Hey, Princess.”

Elizabeth got up and looked out the window. To her great delight, Deejay was sitting on the window ledge smiling up at her.

“Sir Deejay! You've returned so soon.”

He grinned and tipped his hat up out of his eyes. “I just couldn't wait to see you again.”

“How is your arm?”

She couldn't see the wound through the navy blue jacket he had on, but Elizabeth noticed he didn't seem to be favoring it. She didn't think to ask how he managed to scale a hundred-or-so-foot stone wall to reach her window, but the question of his health seemed more important at the time.

“Kind of sore,” he said, stretching his shoulder, “but it'll be good as new soon enough. Like I said, you don't have to worry about me.”

“I'm glad you're well. I have been thinking of you constantly since yesterday.”

“Same here.”

Their eyes met, and a nervous smile passed between them. Elizabeth felt herself blushing slightly and found she couldn't pull her eyes away. Not that she really wanted to.

“Come on,” he said, “let's get out of here and go do something fun, just the two of us.”

“I would like to, but Father won't let me leave the castle.”

“Well, he doesn't have to know. I've got the ship right out here. Just keep your door locked and we'll sneak you out the window. I'll have you back here before he even knows you were gone.”

“But what if he finds out? He'll be furious with me, and with you especially. I don't know what he would do.”

“I'm not afraid of him. Besides, I can take you somewhere he'll never find us. Come on, forget about your dad. Let's live a little. What do you say?”

He held out his hand to her. She smiled and took it.

“I say, what are we waiting for?”

[archetypical-series]

The Princess Story - Part 5

The three of them made it back to the castle without incident. They stood a few yards from the main gate as Deejay and Elizabeth prepared to say their goodbyes. When they stopped back at the ship, Deejay had removed his ruined hoodie and bandaged his arm. The t-shirt he was wearing underneath read “Have fun storming the castle”. I'm pretty sure it was a coincidence.

“Regardless of the circumstances,” Elizabeth said to him, “you did protect me today. I owe you a debt of gratitude.”

“Hey, no problem. I was more than happy to do it. I'm sorry if I kind of got you in more trouble, but if I hadn't gotten involved when I did, I never would have had a chance to talk to you.”

“It's okay. I'm glad you did.” She smiled at him, still blushing slightly. “It's strange… Even though we’ve just met, I feel so comfortable talking with you. You're not like any of the princes I've met.”

“Heh, yeah, I get that a lot. Well, I'd love it if we could talk again sometime.” He leaned in close and put his arm around her waist. “Maybe next time I could show you around my castle, and you can show me a little of that gratitude you were talking about.”

Deejay's hand started moving further south, but Ty grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back.

“And that’ll be enough of that,” Ty said. “Can we hurry up, please? I want to get out of here before the guards see the two of us.”

“Alright, alright…” Deejay straightened his shirt and smiled at Elizabeth. “Well, could I at least get a little farewell kiss from the beautiful princess?”

“You’ve got 3 seconds. No tongue.”

“I wasn’t asking you, Ty...”

Elizabeth giggled. “Of course you may… my brave knight.”

“Oh brother.” Ty face-palmed, a gesture of exasperation he had long since developed strong muscle memory for.

Deejay and Elizabeth shared a brief kiss, then she waved goodbye and walked up to the gate still beaming, where a very confused guard let her in. Ty and Deejay walked away, back toward their ship. Deejay had a mischievous smirk on his face. More mischievous than usual, in fact.

Ty realized after a few moments that Deejay seemed to be muttering to himself. He wouldn't tell me what he was saying, but whatever it was put Ty on edge. He glanced at the blood that had started trickling down Deejay's injured arm.

“Hey,” Ty said finally. “You feeling okay?”

“I'm fine,” Deejay grumbled, only it didn't sound like him.

“Okay... I was just wondering, have you kept up on your medication today?”

Deejay turned to him, his face caught somewhere between frustration and confusion. “What? Shut up, I told you I'm fine.”

“Then show me.”

“Ugh, fine. Look.”

Deejay rolled up the sleeve on his uninjured arm, revealing a square silicone patch stuck to his skin. The patch was a vibrant red color. His expression softened, and he bit his lip sheepishly.

“Uh... Oh. Oops. Sorry, uh... I could swear I put on a fresh one this morning. Maybe all the activity today burned it off a bit faster than usual. Okay. No problem.”

“You do have more, right?”

“Yeah, of course. In my coat pocket. And there's some stashed in the ship for emergencies. And I've got more in my room. And if any of that runs out, it's easy enough to synthesize more in the lab. Really, I promise, I'm on top of it.”

“I sure hope so...”

–

Ty and Deejay returned to the ship and took off for home a few minutes later. Deejay got a fresh medication patch on his arm, this one a bright green color with a cartoon spider in the middle.

“Feeling better?” Ty asked as he piloted the weird spherical craft into the sky.

Deejay nodded, offering a cheerful grin. “Much. Good call, man. I'm going to have to figure out a more obvious warning indicator for these things. Maybe I could hook a chip up to it and have it beep in my comm when it's almost depleted. Can't remember the last time it happened, but hey, better safe than sorry, right?”

Ty smiled, relaxing a bit. “Absolutely. You should work on that when we get back.”

“Sure thing.”

The two of them fell silent for a beat, listening to the quiet hum of the engines, until Deejay spoke up again.

“Hey by the way, something’s been bugging me.”

“What’s that?”

“Well I was just thinking… if I took the ship here by myself, how did you get here? I mean, we only have the one ship, so...”

“Hmm? Oh, never mind that. That’s just a plot hole.”

“You're... kidding, right?”

He was.

Probably.

[archetypical-series]

The Princess Story - Part 4

The pair continued in silence for quite a while. The tunnel gradually became lighter and the air more tolerable as they went, until finally they made it to the mouth of the tunnel, which opened out over a grassy hill overlooking a babbling brook that carried away the runoff from the tunnel. Deejay gingerly set Elizabeth down on the grass. The two of them walked forward a few paces and looked around. To their left, a large rock wall marked the edge of the capitol city. In front of them was a  rural pasture stretching off into the horizon. Elizabeth smiled and breathed deeply. Deejay stretched and groaned.

“Damn, this day's been one hell of a workout. That's some beautiful countryside, though.”

Elizabeth nodded. “We seem to be a long way from the castle. But at least we escaped from those men. We should be able to make it back safely now.” She gave a relieved sigh. “It’s finally over...”

Deejay winced. Before he could respond, a horse whinnied behind them, and they turned to look. The revolutionaries were standing at the top of the hill waiting for them. The three rode quickly down the hill and stopped in front of the tunnel, blocking their escape. Exasperated, Deejay put a hand over his face.

“You just had to say it, didn’t you? Never say ‘it’s finally over’! It’s never over if you jinx it like that.”

“You have nowhere left to run, Your Highness.”

The revolutionary leader brandished his crossbow, as did the others. Elizabeth hid behind Deejay and whispered to him.

“I don't suppose you have any weapons concealed on your person that you neglected to mention earlier?”

“Honestly, I didn't think I'd need any today,” he whispered back. “I'm not usually armed when taking surveys.”

The leader marched his horse a few paces closer, glaring down at them. “The time has come. Your deaths shall signal the beginning of a glorious revolution.”

Deejay still held his ground, grinning defiantly. “Man, you really have a flair for the dramatic, don’t you?”

“He’s not the only one,” a familiar voice added.

Everyone looked around in surprise and confusion, searching for the source of the new voice. Everyone except Deejay, who winced and looked down at his feet.

“Oh no...”

“Who is it?” Elizabeth asked. “More Revolutionaries?”

“Worse.”

“Up there!” one of the men shouted, pointing up.

Everyone turned to look. Atop the rock wall, Ty stood looking down on the group, his arms folded judgmentally in front of his chest. He stood in contrast against the sky, dressed in an all black three-piece suit, his dark glasses reflecting the glare from the afternoon sun. He strode to the lowest section of the wall where the hill rose up to its highest point, and prepared to jump down, but hesitated as he realized the ground was a bit further down than he'd first thought. Carefully, he crouched and attempted to climb down from the wall, steadying himself on the ledge. As he hung down from the ledge, almost immediately, he lost his grip, slid and tumbled down into the grass, skidding a few feet down the hill, cursing under his breath the whole way. He stumbled back to his feet and approached Deejay and Elizabeth, shaking his head irritably and brushing his clothes off with his hands.

“Perfect,” he said sarcastically. “Just perfect. On top of everything else, I really needed grass stains right about now.”

Deejay laughed uncomfortably. “Uh, heya Ty.”

“You know, I thought I could trust you enough to handle a few simple little surveys by yourself. I haven't heard from you all afternoon, and you were due back home hours ago. Naturally, being the caring, sympathetic soul that I am, I was really starting to worry about you, so I decided to come looking for you. And what do I find when I get here? You’re over 5 miles from where you left the ship, you've apparently managed to piss off the locals enough to have weapons drawn on you, and of course, you're running around with some girl too-”

“Some girl?” Elizabeth interrupted. “I take offense at that, sir. I will have you know I am a princess: daughter of Fredrick, King of-.”

Deejay counter-interrupted. “H-hey, now! There’s no need to get into all that…”

“She’s a princess?” Ty asked incredulously. “Are you kidding me? Are you just trying to piss everyone off today? You know what kind of impact something like this could have.”

“Aw Ty, come on! I saw her getting kidnapped right in front of me.”

“Of course you did. What is it with you and damsels in distress anyway? Is there supposed to be something attractive about a girl being in peril?”

“Dude, she was in danger. What would you have done?”

The revolutionaries stared with a mixture of confusion and disbelief. The leader cleared his throat.

“In this world?” Ty replied. “I would have stayed out of it. Alert the proper authorities and then stand back out of the way.”

“Come on, that's a load of crap,” Deejay fired back, getting slightly irked himself. “Look, I had an opportunity to help someone when nobody else could have reacted fast enough, so I took it. You can't try and guilt trip me for that. I was doing the right thing.”

“Sure you were. Never mind it was for the wrong reasons.”

“Oh, go to hell.”

“Excuse me!” The revolutionary leader held up his weapon in disbelief. “We're still here, you know.”

“She was in danger,” Deejay continued, “and I sprang into action to help her because I’m a stand-up kind of guy. I saved her life.”

“Is that a fact?” Ty turned to Elizabeth.

“Sir Deejay acted very bravely,” she said with a proud nod. “He couldn't have known the person kidnapping me wasn't actually a threat-”

Deejay waved his hands like an amateur magician desperately trying to recover from a fumbled card trick. “A-again, I'm not sure he needs all the details-”

“Alright, hold on. Was she in danger or wasn't she?”

“Well...” Deejay anxiously flicked at the zipper on his hoodie. “Okay, keep in mind, this definitely wasn’t my fault. As it turns out, the kidnappers were really the royal guards. They were trying to protect her so the real bad guys here wouldn’t find her.”

“You don’t say? So in reality, she probably would have been much safer if you hadn’t interfered at all?”

“Hey, how was I supposed to know they weren’t the bad guys?”

“That’s my point, you dunce. You couldn't have known, but you chose to get involved anyway. You can’t just jump into a hostile situation and pick a side based on a hunch. It's dangerous to make assumptions about who the 'good guys' and 'bad guys' are. The real world isn't as black and white as that. How can you expect to help anyone by rushing around recklessly like some wannabe action hero?”

“Stop this bickering, you fools!” The revolutionary leader shouted, red-faced. “Enough of your stalling. It's time to finish what we started.”

The leader pointed and fired his crossbow straight at Elizabeth. Reacting just in time, Deejay moved into the bolt's path and pushed her away. He yelped in pain as the bolt struck him in the upper arm.

“Sir Deejay!” Elizabeth gasped. “Are you hurt badly?”

“I'm alright.” Deejay held a hand over the wound, pressing firmly to slow the bleeding. Wincing through the pain, he managed a forced smile, and an even more forced joke. “Heh. 'Tis but a flesh wound.”

Ty moved to check on Deejay, then turned to face the revolutionaries, positioning himself between them and the princess.

“What the hell was that? You’d fire on an unarmed woman?”

“Woman or man, armed or not; it makes no difference.” The leader steeled his gaze and gritted his teeth, staring down at Ty as he reloaded the crossbow once again. “She is of royal blood, a cornerstone of the Zalarian Empire. She must be dealt with like all the rest, and if you attempt to stop us, you will be dealt with as well.”

Ty stared coldly back at him. Deejay stepped up next to Ty, clutching his injured arm.

“I'm sorry,” Ty whispered, holding his gaze on the Revolutionaries. “I should have been ready for that.”

“You armed?”

“Always.”

Ty's hand moved subtly toward his hip. The Revolutionary leader steadied his crossbow.

“The Revolution will not be silenced! We will topple the Zalarian throne and free this nation’s people from its corruption. That despicable despot Fredrick and his entire family will fall before the-”

A deafening gunshot cut through the air. The crossbow flipped backward out of the leader's hand, the wooden frame split down the middle. He cried out in pain and surprise, and his horse reared back nearly throwing him off. The second revolutionary began to raise his own crossbow, only to be met with a second gunshot, and his weapon flew suddenly and violently from his grip as well. The third man turned ghostly pale and obligingly dropped his weapon on the ground.

The leader clutched his hand, his face twisted in a mixture of rage and confusion, and the three of them stared at Ty, who had them held at gunpoint with an almost comically large revolver. The collective group fell silent, until...

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did he break your concentration?”

Ty rolled his eyes, still holding his aim. “Dammit Deejay, give it a rest. Nobody gets your stupid pop culture references.”

“What makes you think I do them for anyone else?”

Kudos for trying, Ty.

“What sort of weapon is that?” one of the men sputtered.

“It sounds like a cannon,” the other replied.

“Close enough.” Ty cleared his throat and lowered the gun slightly. “Now the way I see it, if Deejay hadn’t interfered, this pseudo-kidnapping by the king’s guards would have been successful. At the end of the day, the princess would be safe and sound back in the castle, and you’d all leave here without completing your goal. Now I like to leave a place the way I found it, so that’s just how things are going to go today. The princess is going back to the castle, and you’re all going home empty-handed.”

The revolutionary leader gritted his teeth, seething. “You... arrogant little-”

“If that plan doesn't work for you, you can go home with a ball of lead in your shoulder. I'm fine either way.”

One of the men urged his horse closer to the leader and leaned over to whisper to him:

“Let's be smart about this. Whatever country those two come from, if they have weapons like that, we'd best not start a war with them.”

The leader glared hard at Ty, who did the same back at him, then reluctantly hung his head.

“...Very well then. We retreat for now.” The men turned and began to ride away. The leader called out over his shoulder. “Mark my words, you will pay for this. You haven't seen the last of us.”

“For your sake,” Ty called back, “I hope we have.”

The leader scoffed, and the three Revolutionaries rode off into the distance. Once they were well out of sight, Ty slipped the gun back into its holster on his belt, then turned back to the others. Deejay let out an exaggerated sigh.

“Well, that was exciting. Are you alright, Highness?”

“Yes, thank you, I’m fine.” She  looked with suppressed horror at the bolt still sticking out of his arm. “But more importantly, are you alright?”

“Aw, that’s sweet, but you don’t have to worry about me.” He examined the wound more closely. “Bleeding's almost stopped. Better get back to the ship soon to be on the safe side. I've got the first aid kit in there. But yeah, I can patch this up in no time once we get home.”

“Aren't you in pain?”

“Hah! My system's so flooded with endorphins and adrenaline right now, I can barely feel my face.”

“If you hadn't noticed yet,” Ty added, “Deejay's a bit... special? Sure, let's go with that.”

“Point is, I'll be fine once I get home and take care of this. Heck, I've survived worse than having a crossbow bolt stuck in me before.” He gave Elizabeth a sly grin. “Anyway, speaking of things getting stuck in places they don’t belong-”

Ty shook his head. “Deejay...”

“Oh lay off, will you? Look, I get you're mad at me, but everything turned out fine in the end, didn't it?”

“I don't care. You're not going to start a damn political incident right now just because you want another notch in your bedpost.”

Elizabeth looked back and forth at the two of them, more than a little confused. “What are the two of you talking about?”

“Never mind, Your Highness.” Ty adjusted his glasses. “I think we'd better get you back to the castle as soon as possible. Your father's bound to be worried about you. And then Deejay and I are going home, and I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

Deejay made a pouting face. “…Spoilsport.”

[archetypical-series]

The Princess Story - Part 3

The cloaked man continued riding in silence for several minutes. Clutching Elizabeth, he looked back behind them to make sure they were no longer being chased. He saw no one.

“You still haven’t answered my question.” Elizabeth said impatiently. She was gradually becoming more scared, but tried not to show it. “Where are you taking me?”

“You will see for yourself soon enough-”

“Look out!”

Seriously, can I do a single cutaway without this guy popping back in to steal the scene? I know this is kind of a Deejay-centric story, but still...

Flying in from a nearby alleyway, Deejay skidded to a stop right in front of the horse.

“End of the line!”

The horse stopped abruptly and reared in surprise, throwing both riders off of its back. Deejay dove to catch Elizabeth. The cloaked man hit the ground with a hard thump. Deejay made the catch and managed to break the princess' fall as they tumbled to the ground. When the dust cleared, Elizabeth found herself sprawled on top of her rescuer, with his hand accidentally pressed against her chest. Knowing him, I'm willing the believe that actually happened. I'm not willing to believe it was an accident.

“Oh my...”

She blushed, but didn't pull away. Deejay coughed and gingerly slid out from under her. Panting, he stood up and offered his hand to help her up, which she accepted.

“You okay, Highness?” He asked between attempts to catch his breath. “No injuries?”

She smiled politely. “No, I’m fine. Thank you, kind stranger. However, I would like to know who you are and why you were following us.”

“The name’s Deejay.” He stood up a bit straighter, but was still panting. “I’m just an admirer, eager to meet you up close... Forgive me, Lady Elizabeth, but I must say… your astonishing beauty really takes my breath away.”

She laughed and smiled at him.

“You flatter me, Sir Deejay. I don't suppose your shortness of breath would have anything to do with your running half-way across the city.”

“Nope. Pretty sure it's you... You know, you don't seem very scared, given the situation you were just in.”

“Oh, I'm quite alright. I get kidnapped all the time.”

“Huh... We lose more princesses that way, I guess.”

“Still, I’ve never witnessed such speed, and courage. You must be a knight of some sort.”

He grinned sheepishly. “Heh. Of some sort, sure.”

A few feet away, the cloaked man finally started to sit up, groaning in pain. Deejay walked up next to him, striking a victory pose and putting on a corny smile.

“Good work, gang. Now, let’s see who the cloaked kidnapper really is!”

He threw back the hood of the man's cloak, revealing his face. The man was older, maybe in his fifties, with a gray beard and a superficial scar across his nose. Elizabeth was genuinely shocked.

“Captain Archer?! Is that really you?”

The man sighed and nodded solemnly.

Deejay turned to her, confused. “You know this guy?”

“He is the captain of the Royal Guard. But how? Captain, you are a Revolutionary?”

He shook his head. “I would never betray the crown, milady. No, I was ordered by the King to capture you, pretending to be a Revolutionary.”

“My father ordered this?” The confusion on her face mixed with frustration. “But… why?”

“To teach you a lesson, I suppose.” With some difficulty, Archer slowly stood up. “He thinks you are too carefree, going out in public on your own, sometimes without waiting for the guards to escort you. He thought putting a bit of a scare into you might be enough to convince you to stay out of trouble.”

She gritted her teeth. “Argh! Oh, that is just like Father, isn’t it? He simply refuses to believe I can take care of myself. I’ll always be a helpless child in his eyes.”

“I can't speak to his opinion of you, Your Highness. However, my spies had just received word that the Revolutionaries were planning to attack today, and it seems they are out for blood. By the time I received the news, you had already left the castle. I thought the King’s idea to stage a kidnapping would help keep you safe, as well as teach you to be more careful.”

Deejay scratched his head awkwardly. “Well, you definitely made a very convincing kidnapper. I, uh, guess I owe you an apology, Captain.”

“No no, it's alright.” Captain Archer replied. “Whoever you are, stranger, your actions were most admirable, albeit ill-informed.”

“Just the same, I’m sorry about the mix-up. Is there any way I could make it up to you?”

“There is no need. Now then, I must see the princess safely back to the castle, but I imagine the king will want to meet the young man who so bravely defended his daughter-”

Just then, there was the sudden whoosh of a projectile cutting through the air. The captain staggered forward; a crossbow bolt was sticking out of his back near the shoulder blade. He grunted and dropped to his knees.

“Captain!” Elizabeth rushed to the wounded captain's side.

“What the…?”

Deejay looked around to determine where the shot had come from. Just down the otherwise empty street, a disheveled man with an unkempt beard stepped forward, aiming a small crossbow at the captain. He wore plain brown clothing and a bronze pendant around his neck. Two similarly dressed men stepped out from the alleyway to Deejay's left, each of them wearing a similar pendant, each holding their own crossbow. Elizabeth's eyes were wide with fright.

“Revolutionaries... Real ones.”

“Stay down, dog,” one of the men barked. “It's just the princess we want.”

“Grrh…” The captain slumped against the wall of a nearby building, cursing under his breath. Elizabeth tried to help him up but he pushed her away.

“Leave me,” he said. “Protect yourself.”

Deejay looked uneasily around at the three men as they advanced, but held his ground. Elizabeth nervously hid behind him as best she could. The leader of the group strode forward confidently. His accomplices inched closer from the alleyway, attempting to surround Deejay and Elizabeth.

“Surrender,” the leader said.

Deejay smirked reflexively. “You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.”

Understandably, no one looked amused.

“Sir, please don’t do this,” Elizabeth pleaded. “Whatever it is you desire, you’ll get it. You don’t have to hurt anyone else.”

“You are a foolish little girl, Princess,” the leader continued. “As foolish as your father. It has become clear that the only thing that will make him see the error of his ways is the blood of his family spilled out upon the ground.”

He reloaded his crossbow, and pointed it toward Elizabeth.

“And on this day, it seems that blood will be yours.”

Deejay held his hands up. “Look you guys, whatever problems you have with the king, killing her isn't going to solve anything. You're just creating more problems. So how about you just let her go, alright?”

The leader pointed his weapon toward Deejay. “You dare stand in the way of the revolution? So be it. For the good of the people, I will personally kill the both of you.”

Deejay glanced around rapidly, his pulse quickening again. “Well... You’ll have to catch us first!”

Before anyone could react, Deejay turned and swept Elizabeth up in his arms, then took off running like he'd been shot out of a cannon. The two closest revolutionaries were caught off-guard as he flew past them. The leader fired after Deejay but missed.

“Get the horses! Don't let them escape!”

Deejay raced down the street and turned back onto the main road toward the merchant district, still carrying Elizabeth in his arms like a bride over the threshold. They gained a few hundred yards head start, but Deejay's breathing was getting heavier and he was starting to sweat profusely. His pace began to slow.

“Why are you slowing down?” Elizabeth asked, alarmed.

“I'm sorry...” Deejay panted. “This is... a lot harder... than it looks.”

Elizabeth looked behind them. In the distance, she could see the revolutionaries giving chase on horseback.

“You have to hurry! They're going to catch us!

“I can’t… keep... running... like this...” Deejay was desperately sucking in breaths between words. As with most people, he wasn't used to carrying a conversation mid-sprint. “We gotta… lose ‘em… somehow…”

Deejay looked around frantically, and he spotted an open manhole down the street.

“There! The aqueducts.”

“What? That’s a sewage tunnel! You’re not taking me down there. It’s disgusting! My dress will be ruined.”

“You have a better suggestion?!”

He stopped at the hole. From where he stood he could see the murky black water down below. He braced himself for what was coming next and held Elizabeth close.

“Watch your head.”

Deejay jumped down into the manhole, falling almost twenty feet. He landed on his feet, and to his great relief, on a grimy stone walkway that ran along the wall of the tunnel above the river of sewage. As the revolutionaries approached, Deejay moved into the shadows away from the hole. The horses came to a stop nearby. Deejay and Elizabeth held their breaths, both to remain silent and to spare themselves somewhat from the smell all around them. The revolutionaries lingered a moment longer, until the leader shouted some indistinct orders to the others, and the group rode off in another direction.

Deejay gave a sigh of relief, took a deep breath, then immediately regretted it and buried his nose in the shoulder padding of Elizabeth's dress, which she allowed while she held the sleeve of her dress over her own nose. Deejay looked around the darkened tunnel, allowing his eyes to adjust. Their surroundings definitely looked like a primitive sewer system. The stone walkway they stood on seemed to follow the entire length of the tunnel. Sensing they were safe for the moment, Deejay started to set Elizabeth down.

“No!” she protested. “I can’t set foot down here. This floor is filthy. Do you have the slightest idea how expensive these shoes are?”

“Seriously? My arms are killing me here.”

“Please, just carry me a while longer. We’re not terribly far from the edge of the city. I'm sure we can escape from there.”

“Alright, alright. Whatever you say, Your Highness.”

Reluctantly, he began trudging down the tunnel. Exhaustion was beginning to set in, but he continued onward dutifully carrying Elizabeth. He probably considered copping a feel again, if only there were any sensation left in his arms.

[archetypical-series]

The Princess Story - Part 2

Elsewhere, the speeding stagecoach continued down the street at a break-neck pace, leaving the merchant district and making its way toward the edge of the city. Inside, Elizabeth confronted her captor with all the diplomatic grace you would expect from a frightened teenager.

“You brute! Just where do you think you're taking me?”

“Be still, Your Highness,” the man in the cloak said gravely. “This will all be over soon enough.”

“You won't get away with this, coward. My guards will find me, and they will punish you for this treasonous act.”

“No, Your Highness, I'm afraid your guards will not be coming for you this time...”

His words trailed off as he looked quizzically out the back window.

“What in the world...?”

Elizabeth turned to look as well, and matched his puzzled expression. They could just make out a figure in the distance giving chase, kicking up clouds of dust in its wake. Despite the horses being at a full gallop, the figure was gaining on them quickly. As the gap closed, they could see, and unfortunately hear, Deejay singing about being called Mister Fahrenheit and making a super-sonic woman of someone.

“What sort of bizarre witchcraft is this?” The cloaked man shook his head.

Elizabeth had a flash of recognition. “That strange young man from earlier?”

The cloaked man turned and grabbed Elizabeth by the wrist again, pulling her toward the front of the coach.

“You are coming with me.”

“Unhand me!” She growled and squirmed in vain. “Argh! This is becoming very tiresome.”

Moments later, Deejay caught up to the stagecoach and started running alongside it. He shouted up to the driver.

“Hey, pal! Where's the fire?!”

The driver gave a worried look over his shoulder but didn't respond. The coach was picking up its pace, but Deejay kept up with no trouble.

“Stop the cart and let's talk about this like civilized people!” Still no response. The driver urged the horses onward. “I'm not gonna ask nicely again! Stop!”

The driver glanced back again, then pulled the reigns and the coach suddenly veered toward Deejay, almost hitting him. He jumped back and narrowly avoided colliding with a wall.

“Fine! We'll do this the hard way.”

Deejay jumped onto the stagecoach and clung to the side. He grabbed the door handle but it wouldn't budge. Undeterred, he tightly gripped the top edge of the coach and braced himself. His drew in quick sharp breaths, and his heart pounded rapidly. Once he was feeling sufficiently psyched up, he swung his foot back and kicked the door, aiming just below the handle. The door was securely bolted at the top and bottom, preventing it from being easily battered down. Instead, the force of his kick smashed the whole handle clear off the door, leaving a large splintered hole where the handle once was. Deejay peered inside.

“Heeere's Johnny!”

Mercifully, there was no one in the coach to experience that. Deejay found it empty.

“...The hell?” He quickly hoisted himself up on top of the coach and looked toward the driver. One of the horses was missing. “Aw, come on.”

He leaped forward onto the stage and roughly grabbed the driver by the collar.

“Which way'd they go?” he demanded, his voice only a little shaky.

“You're too late. You will never catch them now.”

“Watch me!”

Deejay turned and flung himself off the stage, nimbly grabbed onto a nearby flagpole and swung himself up onto the roof of a nearby building. He broke into a run and jumped across a gap to an adjacent roof, then another and another, until he was atop a church with a tall steeple at the front. He scrambled up the steeple with ease, swung himself up and perched on the top, taking only a moment to catch his breath.

“Whew... I hope somebody saw that. It felt pretty bad-ass.”

No one did. And it wasn't.

...Okay, that's not entirely fair. It probably wasn't. I think I have an obligation to point out that since nobody else was there to witness any of this, I kind of have to take Deejay's version of events on this part. He can be pretty athletic when he wants to be, so I'm not going to say it definitely couldn't have happened that way. I'm just saying we have to take his word for it that the whole thing wasn't much more cartoonish and awkward-looking than how he described it to me.

Anyway, as he looked down on the city below, he could just make out a horse galloping down an alleyway. Elizabeth's bright white dress stood out against the increasingly dreary surroundings as they entered the peasants' district.

“Man, don't I feel like the valiant knight today? Hang in there, my fair princess. I'm coming for you.”

...Sorry, give me a second. I think I threw up in my mouth a little there.

[archetypical-series]

The Princess Story - Part 1

I don't know where to start a story like this one. Pretty much anywhere I start, it's going to get really confusing. If you're anything like me, you're going to be wondering what the hell is going on and where any of this is going. All I can ask is, for now, just go with it. It'll start to make some sense eventually. Some.

So... I guess Zalaria is as good a place to start as any. These are the notes Deejay had on that place from his past visits:

Entry #201

Location: Earth 5-C, Eurasia, the island nation of Zalaria

Summary: The system of government seems to be your standard monarchy. Their society bears some resemblance to Britain on Earth Prime around the Victorian era (I think, history was never my strong suit). Technologically, they seem to be stuck in the Middle Ages. This seems to be owed largely to their government taking a very isolationist approach to foreign policy instead of doing the whole conquering the world thing. Thankfully, they at least have the beginnings of modern plumbing. There is a series of aqueducts under the streets of the capitol, but I haven't had the pleasure of checking them out yet.

Deejay was sitting at a sort of outdoor cafe, going over his notes. A noble gentleman was seated across the table from him. The gentleman was dressed in his finest attire, sporting a closely-trimmed beard. In almost violent contrast, Deejay was dressed as usual like some kind of hipster Pokemon trainer... Um, do me a favor, don't tell him I said that. He's already got an unhealthy fixation on pop culture references. I don't want to encourage it. Anyway, in this case he wore a dark grey hoodie with an artistic rendering of an atom on the front, blue jeans, dark blue utility belt (I'm not sure what else to call that thing), black finger-less gloves, and white sneakers. His spiky blonde hair was barely contained under a black bucket hat. The gentleman waited patiently while Deejay flipped through his notes.

“Let's see, where did we leave off...?” He wondered aloud. “Ah, okay, here we go. 'Compared to this time last year, would you say your nation's economy is doing better, worse, or about the same?'”

“Hmm...” The gentleman stroked his beard as he thought. “Well, I recall that taxes were slightly higher this time last year. His Highness King Fredrick lowered taxes several months back. After the royal treasurers had completed their accounting for the season, they found that the treasury had increased its surplus. King Fredrick, in his infinite generosity, decided to pass along some of the crown's good fortune to the people. It seems the working class have had more money to buy goods for themselves, and as a result, the merchants are faring even better than they had been previously. This is truly a golden age in our great kingdom's history.”

“'Kay. So, I'll put you down for 'better' then...” He jotted down a few notes while the gentleman watched curiously.

“Forgive my ignorance, traveler, but what are you hoping to gain by asking these questions?”

“Oh you know, I just like keeping tabs on other countries, mostly for my own peace of mind. It's useful for international relations, helps prevent wars and stuff.”

“Well, you certainly have no reason to expect war from Zalaria. King Fredrick is a humble ruler, not a conqueror. We are naturally well-isolated from most hostile outsiders. The royal navy ensures anyone foolhardy enough to mount an invasion will soon reconsider. You may be the first outsider the capital has seen in some time. Some lords have lobbied to open trade routes across the sea to obtain more wealth, but the king's primary concern is always for the safety of his own people.”

“I guess a lot of kings before him felt the same way. It's a nice sentiment and all, but being so cut off has its downsides. You've almost totally stopped progressing.”

“I'm afraid I don't understand. What more progress is there to make? Zalaria is a peaceful and prosperous nation.”

“And that's totally commendable, no question. But there's so much stuff you miss out on by not trading with other cultures. Look, your military is just now figuring out gunpowder, you've got no silk, no exotic fruit or spices, no coffee, no chocolate... Man, and I could really go for a hot chocolate right about now, too.”

“A delicacy of your home country, I take it? I confess I have never heard of it.”

“Oh, you don't know what you're missing. I'll have to bring you some next time I stop by. Fair warning though, it's probably a little too sweet for your palate.”

As he looked around, Deejay's eyes landed on a young woman sitting a few tables away from them. She was wearing a flowing white dress with yellow lace accents, sipping a cup of tea and chatting with several other young women. They were all dressed in noble clothes as well, though I doubt his eyes ever strayed far enough from her to notice. A dangerous grin crept onto his face.

“Woah. Speaking of exceptionally sweet things... Who is that gorgeous girl?”

“Hmm?” The gentleman turned and followed Deejay's gaze. “Oh. You must be referring to Lady Elizabeth. Yes, she is quite the beauty. She is the king's only daughter, you know. He's quite fond of her.”

“Who wouldn't be?”

His eyes stayed glued to Elizabeth, even after she finally noticed him staring. As their eyes met, he briefly considered giving her his patented sly come-hither look, but his confidence faltered in the face of her direct eye contact, leading him to opt instead for the awkward smile and dorky wave, a well-worn and reliable stand-by. She politely smiled back, then turned back to her friends. The gentleman anxiously adjusted his collar and cleared his throat.

“Perhaps you are unfamiliar with the manners of polite society, but here it is considered rude to stare, especially at royalty.”

“I can't help it. She's absolutely stunning. I'm smitten. That's it, I gotta go talk to her.”

“I beg your pardon? One cannot simply walk up to Lady Elizabeth and address her. Even if she did wish to speak with you, her father is very protective of her.”

“Hey, I've dealt with protective fathers. They never stopped me before.”

“Do you realize what you're saying? You cannot defy the king's will, especially in matters dealing with his family. You would need his blessing to even be given the chance to ask for her hand.”

“Her hand's not what I'm looking at.”

The gentleman blushed. As a side note, Deejay was incredibly lucky I wasn't there for any of this. I didn't have as much patience for his nonsense back then, or anyone else really. Anyway, Elizabeth finished her tea and started saying her goodbyes as she got up from the table.

“You see that?” Deejay said, pocketing his notes. “She's already leaving. It's now or never.”

“Wait a moment. For your own good, I have to insist that you not be too forward. No one here knows who you are. Her guards might take you for a Revolutionary assassin.”

“Assassin? Me?” Deejay looked himself over, failing to see anything obviously dangerous.

“Despite his good works, King Fredrick is not without his enemies. Several attempts have been made on his life and the lives of his family in the recent past. Because of this, the royal family is usually quite wary of strangers, especially ones who are not of noble stature.”

“Hey, just because I'm a little on the short side doesn't mean I'm an assassin.”

The gentleman furrowed his brow. “Are you just being willfully obtuse? I think given the context, it was clear which meaning of 'stature' I-”

He was cut off suddenly by a woman's scream. The two men... or, well, the one man and one man-child... They turned quickly toward the scream, realizing immediately who it had come from. A man in a black hooded cloak had Elizabeth by the wrist and was forcing her into the back of a stage coach that had just pulled up beside the cafe. Other people pointed and shouted in surprise, some crying out frantically for the royal guards, who were nowhere in sight.

“Stop it!” Elizabeth shouted. “Let go of me!”

She struggled and kicked against her captor but was easily overpowered. In an instant they were in the back of the coach, and the door slammed shut behind them. The gentleman's jaw dropped.

“Lady Elizabeth! She really is being attacked by Revolutionaries!”

The driver cracked his whip, and the coach started off down the street as the gentleman watched helplessly.

“How could this have happened? I thought the royal guards were keeping watch over her.”

“Guess they slipped up.” Deejay said. He grinned and practically leapt out of his chair. “Now's my chance. If I save her life, she'll have to talk to me.”

“I beg your pardon? I admire your courage, traveler, but this is a task best left to the royal guards. Besides, you have no hope of catching them now. You haven't even a horse to ride.”

“Hah! Don't stop me now, dude. ‘Cause I'm havin' a good time, havin' a good time...”

Ugh, it's already starting. With that, he took off running down the street after the stage coach.

“Wait!” the gentleman protested again.

With a burst of unnatural speed, Deejay bolted down the road and out of sight, leaving the gentleman alone at the table. He frowned and shook his head.

“And once again, it falls to me to pay for lunch.”