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-- technetronicTactician [TT] began trolling ardentCupid [AC] at 21:34 -- TT: Hey Meulin. AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < DORK!! TT: I shouldn't even be surprised anymore when I'm greeted that way. TT: What's up? AC: (^･o･^)ﾉ < AGR33D. AC: (^●ㅅ●^) < I'M JUST HANGING OUT IN MY BLOCK. TT: That's cool. Me too. TT: Chillin' with all my lil dudes. AC: (=ＴωＴ=) < 333333!!!! AC: (=；ェ；=) < THE LITTLEST DUDES OF ALL... AC: ヽ(^..^=ゞ) < WHAT ELSE ARE YOU DOING? TT: Overthinking, I guess. TT: Gotta work out a game plan for our next destination. And in addition to that, sprite versions of everyone I know keep popping up and making us all question our own identities. TT: It's a thing. AC: (=^..^) < OH... THAT'S PRETTY WEIRD. AC: (=^･ｪ･^=) < ARE YOU FURRIED ABOUT IT? TT: A little. TT: I'm worried about how it's affecting Dave. TT: And now I'm wondering how it's affecting Jake. AC: (^･o･^) < WHAT? WHY? AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < IS DAVESPURRITE BEING BAD? TT: Nah. Well, not that I know of. TT: But I don't think he can get up to that much trouble floating around in space. TT: Another sprite showed up today. I guess we could call her Jadesprite. TT: She didn't know where she was and it was freaking her out. I guess she was worried about us, too. TT: Anyway, she kept getting upset... Dave kinda exacerbated matters. TT: And it was making Jake anxious. Which isn't a huge surprise, but the whole "alternate selves" topic is a little sensitive for him. AC: (^・x・^) < OHHH. AC: (^..^)ﾉ < IS HE GOING TO BE OKAY? TT: I think so. TT: I'll wrestle him when he comes home. That usually fixes things. AC: (=ↀωↀ=)ᕗ < I KNOW THAT F33L. AC: ~(=ΦェΦ) < WHERE IS HE NOW? TT: It would appear that he's in the gym. AC: (◐ ω ◑ ) < DID YOU JUST TOTALLY SPY ON HIM? AC: (ฅ•ᆺ•ฅ) < WITH CAMERAS AND JUNK? TT: I mean. TT: A little. AC: (●ↀωↀ●) < CAAAAN YOU PUT CAMERAS IN MY GLASSES? AC: (=⊙ω⊙) < I WOULD REALLY LOVE THAT. JUST SAYING. TT: I know you would, Meulin. TT: I'll see what I can do. AC: ＼(=^..^)// < Y33333SSS. AC: (^./.^)ﾉ < SO WHAT ABOUT DAVE? IS HE OKAY? TT: He isn't right now. But I think he will be. AC: (=^..^=) < OHH... AC: (=^..^) < MAYBE I SHOULD S33 HIM SOON. TT: That'd be cool. TT: I think he could use some distractions. AC: (^･ω･^) (^･ω･^)ﾉ⌐■-■ (^⌐■ω■^) AC: (^⌐■ω■^) < YOU GOT IT, DUDE. TT: Hell yes. TT: (^⌐■ω■^)人(▼ー▼メ) AC: (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)✧ < UM??? I AM SAVING THAT IN MY EMOJI BANK, THANK YOU. TT: No problem. TT: Aw. TT: Jake just messaged me out of the blue to tell me he loves me. TT: What a fucking nerd. AC: O=(‘ω'Q) < BEAT HIM UP. AC: (ノω<。) < THAT'S WHAT HE GETS FUR BEING SO CUTE. TT: Agreed. AC: (^●ㅅ●^)ﾉ < HOW MANY W33DS HAS DAVE SMOKED IN HIS LIFE? TT: Like... two whole weed. AC: (^◔ᆺ◔^) < WOW, WHAT A FUREAKING NERD. TT: Tell me about it. TT: As far as I know, he's only ever smoked with me. AC: ლ(=ↀωↀ=) < I KNOW WHAT I MEOWST DO. TT: Go forth. AC: ε=ε=ε=ヾ(э^・ｪ・^)э TT: I should run, too. Gotta put Colt and Joel to bed before I prep myself for a good old fashioned wrestling match. AC: ฅ(≚ᄌ≚) < KICK HIS BUTT REAL GOOD. TT: I will. You can count on that. AC: (´⊙ω⊙) < THE TENDER MEATS WILL RISE AGAIN. AC: (=^･ω･^=)丿 < BY33333! TT: Later. TT: ヾ(*▼・▼)ﾉ⌒☆ -- technetronicTactician [TT] gave up trolling ardentCupid [AC] at 23:21 --

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Rufioh’s Fate

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-- ardentCupid [AC] began trolling technologicGodot [TG] -- AC: HELP TG: uh hey TG: whats wrong AC: IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN AC: I CAN'T STOP THINKING TG: oh shit TG: about what AC: EVERYTHING AC: I CANT TG: ok meu thats a lil broad AC: OK AC: I DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO TG: well i mean TG: i got a baby but if you dont mind that you can come to me or i can come to you AC: OH AC: ILL STAY HERE AC: ITS DINE AC: FINE TG: so where are you AC: IT WAS RUFIOHS ROOM TG: so are you cool with me coming or AC: YES TG: and youre cool with dove too AC: YES AC: I THINK SO AC: IM SORRY TG: for what AC: THIS TG: oh dont be TG: on my way now AC: OKAY DAVE: -he arrives at Rufiohs room with dove in his arms because let's be real she's a slow walker. He knocks, waiting- MEULIN: -the response is actually timely, because she happened to be hovering by the door, expectant. She's trying to focus on him coming and being here more than the thoughts in her head. The door opens, and her face is still a little flushed and patchy green, drying streaks of the same color in tears around her eyes. Thankfully, those still have sunglasses on them.- DAVE: -walks on in and nods a greeting to meulin- sup DAVE: this is dove crashin the party DAVE: cant get rid of her DOVE: -she wiggle. She's here and ready to party- MEULIN: OH YEAH... -she sniffs, kind of pulling up her glasses for a second to get a better look. It's a nice distraction, the cute, soft little thing.- SHE'S SO PURRECIOUS... DAVE: dove say hi DAVE: time to help a friend not be sad DAVE: for some reason everyone thinks its adorable when you say somethin but if its from me its somehow not effective DOVE: ha MEULIN: -okay, it's kind of hard not to snicker a little... This baby really is adorable.- UM... -she's moving for the bed to sit.- HI BABY. DAVE: yeah ha meulin DAVE: dove you wanna stay here in my fatherly hold forever or do you wanna wander DOVE: eh -she seems content in the fatherly hold... For now...- MEULIN: ... I CAN'T BELIEVE EFURRYONE HAS SUCH CUTE BABIES HERE. I NEVER GOT TO S33 LITTLE KITS BEFORE NOW. MEULIN: NOT CLOSE UP ANYWAY. DAVE: -good cuz he like holding her- well hey now you have a shit ton of opportunities DAVE: -takes a seat next to meulin- so whats up MEULIN: ... I DON'T KNOW. MEULIN: I... MEULIN: ... CRONUS LEFT. DAVE: -squints- what do you mean DAVE: left how MEULIN: WE WERE TALKING AND-- MEULIN: HE LEFT ME. MEULIN: -it's hard not to tear up again, and she can't stop herself.- MEULIN: I F33L LIKE... I'M TOO BROKEN,  -she confesses, the second half of the phrase curling into a painful sob.- DAVE: were you together DAVE: like dating or something sorry im just not caught up on this shit MEULIN: NN-- NO, THAT'S... MEULIN: HE... WE WERE TALKING ABOUT IT. ABOUT QUADRANTS. DAVE: ok so he physically left -bounces dove a little- MEULIN: YEAH.... DAVE: so what about quadrants MEULIN: ... -she has to think for a bit, try to replay everything and not let the terrible, heavy feeling overwhelm her.- MEULIN: WE WERE... SAYING THAT MAYBE. WE FELT FLUSHED FUR EACH OTHER. BUT I... MEULIN: SAID THAT I COULDN'T... DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT. IF I WANTED TO DO ANYTHING. DAVE: so thats why he got mad and ditched you MEULIN: -she just nods, unsure what else to say- DAVE: ok sorry but thats kind of rude as fuck to you MEULIN: HE THOUGHT THAT IT WAS BECAUSE OF HIM... MEULIN: THAT IT WAS HIS FAULT. DAVE: how MEULIN: BECAUSE I COULDN'T TELL HIM... THE REAL REASON. DAVE: whats the real reason MEULIN: ... EFURRYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME. BEFORE. DAVE: -glances at dove and nods. he gets it. he definitely gets it- yeah DAVE: thats understandable DAVE: kind of hard to open up about the real reason when you already feel fucked up MEULIN: -she's quiet. It's so much of what she can feel about it, it's hard to separate the bad things from what could be good. But at least he seems to get it.- DAVE: -he does get it, more than anyone else she could talk to, probably. and maybe he doesn't completely understand why.- maybe its worth DAVE: trying to tell him about it MEULIN: -Maybe it is worth it. But can she actually manage it? That's the question.- MEULIN: ... IT'S HARD. WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT. AND I'M SCARED. DAVE: yeah talkin about it just DAVE: sucks in general DAVE: but sometimes its better if you do MEULIN: -it's hard to digest, but she's trying. She knows it would explain things to him, but she doesn't know how to trudge through everything. She... Hadn't really explained it to anyone. Not really. Only Aranea knew the extent of it, and only because she had seen it directly. But the guilt and the fear was thick and heavy, all of it seeming so fresh in her mind. The fact that it wasn't in reality only seemed to make it harder to swallow. She had lived so long with blood on her hands, so oblivious. Or maybe just unwilling to see. That thought, too, terrified her.- MEULIN: I... DON'T KNOW IF HE'LL UNDERSTAND. MEULIN: I DON'T KNOW IF I DO. DAVE: well DAVE: its a risk DAVE: but from my experience talkin about it with someone you trust kinda helps you work it out too MEULIN: -after another pause of silence, she nods. it's worth a shot, maybe. she doesn't want to continue like this, in any case. and. the thought of being without him, too, hurts. she just... has to be strong enough to try.- DAVE: -he puts the arm not holding baby around her in a friendly comforting manner. and he'll stay here as long as she needs him to-

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MEULIN: *All day, it's been on her mind. Most of the time, she had managed to convince herself out of it, the fear like heavy weights on her chest, reminding her exactly why it was so hard to breathe. Last time, she had been too afraid to seek answers, to look for resolution. She was still afraid, but this time, she was here, and she's looking in through the window, trying to keep her expression tight.* RUFIOH: *He's not sure what to expect to feel when he saw her. The day had been an exhausting one, mentally and emotionally, and by the time Meulin shows up, Rufioh had dropped into a restless kind of sleep. He'd done his best to curl in on himself, huddling on the stupid cot with his wings wrapped around him like a blanket. Awakens fully when he hears the shuffle of feet and looks over, dread creeping over his skin like ice. Slowly and stiffly, he lifts himself to sit.* MEULIN: *It aches, despite everything, to see him this way. Even now, she wants to pull him out of there, out of that terrible isolation, to hold him, to help him. But she couldn't. She hadn't. Her jaw trembles, fists clenching where he can't see. For a long time, she just watches him, the reality of the situation dancing around the edges of her consciousness. Then, finally, it bubbles up, a phrase she hadn't meant to say but that she can't rid herself of in all this time.* IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS. RUFIOH: *his bloodpusher seems to drop to the very pit of his ribcage, the moment the words somehow manage to leave her mouth. Meanwhile, a deep loathing and disgust with himself boils like tar in his digestive sac. But outward, he is still.* ...1 know. MEULIN: TOGETHER. *The word burns her mouth to say like this. She signs it in front of her face even more emphatically, olive flushing her face.* THAT'S WHAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE. RUFIOH: *conscious of every searing pain the word brings him. He didn't even deserve the tears that should follow. They don't, however. He only nods, his expression hollow as his insides.* MEULIN: HOW...? *She croaks the word, her composure quickly crumbling now in the face of it all, especially with how stony he looks. Somehow, it makes it all that much harder, the burn in her lungs that much hotter.* HOW CAN WE BE TOGETHER WHEN-- MEULIN: ... I DON'T... KNOW ANYTHING. MEULIN: I DON'T KNOW. RUFIOH: <don't have to. d1d what 1 d1d.>  *he swallows hard, not speaking but signing instead. There really were no words.* <can't take 1t back.> MEULIN: DON'T. DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THIS IS NOTHING, LIKE-- YOU'RE NOTHING. STOP. *She can't help it, how she bats at the window helplessly, pained.* I WON'T LET YOU. RUFIOH: <okay.> ... *with her batting at the panel, it's hard to keep a lid on the truckload of sorrow but somehow. He still manages. Barely.* <don't have excuse.> MEULIN: THEN DON'T GIVE ME AN EXCUSE. TELL ME WHY. *She had been afraid to ask, afraid to try, but stupidly, she always wants to. Now, seeing him like this, she can't stop herself.* RUFIOH: *he closes his eyes, thinking long and hard back to those moments that teetered before he finally went through with it.* <wanted h1m to hurt. l1ke 1 was.> MEULIN: *It just aches that much more to hear him say it, what she had been afraid of. She had wanted to help, only wanted to help, to do something, anything. And this, it breaks her heart. She can't bring herself to speak, biting down on her lip and tears rolling out over raw, flushed cheeks.* <YOU HURT YOURSELF.> RUFIOH: *shudders for as soundless as the world was for Meulin, Rufioh could hear her every tiny sniffle and whimper.* ... <yes. to hurt. myself.> RUFIOH: <am hurt1ng myself.> MEULIN: YOU CAN'T. YOU /CAN'T./ *She can't tell if she's speaking to him or herself anymore, how the words come out regardless of whether or not she wants to speak them.* I'M SUPPOSED TO STOP YOU, TO TELL YOU-- SHOW YOU, YOU MATTER. MEULIN: I WON'T LET YOU FORGET. MEULIN: I'LL TELL YOU EVERY DAY. RUFIOH: <don't deserve 1t. but have always tr1ed for you.> *he doesn't realize his feet bringing him closer to the panel, only realizing it when his forehead is pressing against the pane.* <1 love you.> MEULIN: *The closer he gets, the more she feels like she's coming apart, like her veins are cracks and fissures and she's crumbling there against the door, not a troll, not anything but the great, terrible feeling that love makes her. What can she do but sob here, fragile, overflowing, her hand and her head against the glass and her heart somewhere much clearer.* RUFIOH: *He neither crumbles or moves from the panel when the tears finally start to flood past his eyes. It's genuine heartbreak he feels when she spirals into open sobs and he can't do anything to comfort her. This reality was his fault, he was doing this to her. If she never trusted him again, he wouldn't blame her. This and a thousand other thoughts swirled in a dark smokey haze in his thinkpan as the moments dragged on and on. Cutting off the oxygen, his breath.* MEULIN: *She's gasping for her own in the moments that stretch out forever, but eventually, she quiets, eyes squeezed shut and the last of her tears rolling out silently, still pressed there, and in the silence, there's more than words can convey. She wants to stay, but she knows she can't. She finds herself sliding down the door, pressed against it, and after a few moments, there's a shuffling, the sound of paper tearing and tearing and tearing. And then, her fingertips shoving dozens of scraps under the crack, all of them covered in writing. Once they're all under the door, her footsteps shuffle and fade away. Maybe in the time he has, he can piece it together, and maybe one day he will see the same good she saw to make the piece she had never titled.*

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CRONUS: -It was the night after THE INCIDENT, and he barely slept, just laying in bed and staring up at the ceiling.  After he had been escorted to his own room yesterday he had spent some time with feferi and then immediately went to the room he shared with meulin and rufioh and told meulin the news.  After that, neither of them could really do much and Cronus opted for laying down where he still was, the only thing prompting him to finally get out of bed is the stiffness in his back- MEULIN: -She had to leave the room after a time, wandering out on her own. This room, now, felt tainted. Again, something precious that had been warped beyond recognition, and knowing that he would not be returning to it was the kind of ache she could not ignore. And yet, she found herself drawn back, anyway, opening the door slowly.- CRONUS: -he doesn't notice the door open at first as he stretches, cracking his back before wandering to the kitchen area to  decide if he wanted anything.  After starting for a minute... nope, he's not hungry.  He turns to go back to bed when he sees the door opening- ... oh, hey meulin. MEULIN: -She isn't wearing her glasses -- she forgot them -- and of course she can't hear him, but she knows he's greeting her. She's just looking over everything in the room, quiet.- CRONUS: are you going to come in?  -he doesn't even realize the lack of glasses, used to seeing her either way, so he doesn't try signing- MEULIN: -Eventually, finally, she looks at him. The weariness is clear in her expression.- MEULIN: ... IT'S ALL OVER... ISN'T IT? CRONUS: .. vwhat?  vwhats all ovwer? MEULIN: EVERYTHING... WE HAD HERE. CRONUS: -he tenses up and swallows hard- it doesnt havwe to be.  i dont vwant it to be. MEULIN: -She can't tell what he's saying, even if she wanted to, with how her eyes are watering.- MEULIN: I THINK-- MEULIN: I THINK I LOVED HIM. -When the words come out, when she knows they're real, she can't help how the tears keep coming. Of course, this was how it was supposed to go. This was how it always went.- CRONUS: -he winces and stands there for a moment, before walking towards her- meulin... it vwill be okay.  he made a mistake.  -what should he do?  He really isn't sure... he just... wraps his arms around her- MEULIN: -Part of her doesn't want to fight, but she can't help the fear when he touches her, how it makes her cringe for a moment and she ekes out a sound like distress that fades into her sobs.- MEULIN: I DON'T KNOW-- ANYTHING-- ANYTHING! CRONUS: -aw crap, he wasn't expecting that.  he immediately lets go and backs away, looking increasingly more distressed himself-  -he isnt sure what to say to her now and stands there for a moment, quietly- MEULIN: -she isn't running or hiding, though. She just stands there, arms wrapping around herself after a moment when he's not touching her anymore, and the tears keep coming, steady and quieting.- MEULIN: I DON'T KNOW W-WHAT TO DO. CRONUS: i... dont either.  i guess all vwe can do is talk to him?  if theyll let us see him. MEULIN: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. -it almost seems silly, but it's just distressing her more right now, something simple she can easily solve- CRONUS: uhh... let me think... -points at her and himself then signs TALK.  Holds up two fingers for 2, and then does a butterfly thing with his hands- MEULIN: -she's hiccuping, wiping at blurry eyes, and it takes her a few moments for it to sink in.- TALK TO HIM??? CRONUS: -nods- yeah.  um... -signs HELP and the points at her again-  it could help you. MEULIN: NO. I DON'T KNOW-- MEULIN: I WANT TO, BUT I... MEULIN: I JUST... DON'T... UNDERSTAND... MEULIN: I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M SUPPOSED TO TELL WHAT'S RIGHT. CRONUS: -he shakes his head again- i dont knowv, either.  i still feel newv to this vwhole... caring thing? MEULIN: -she's just watching him now, quiet, another track of green rolling down her flushed cheek. She wants anything to make sense, to be okay. They were supposed to be together in this, in everything, but she didn't understand this. She didn't know how to, or if she should even try.- CRONUS: ... -he holds his hands out to her, as if offering to take her hands, but this time rather than just grabbing hers, he just holds them there.- MEULIN: -She watches him warily for a long moment, anguish wrapping around her bones like waves of a sea she can't breach the surface of, and it seems so pointless, so hopeless. But she's afraid to believe that's true. She's afraid to let that be all that's left. It hurts like hell to want to trust, but she does, she does so badly, and inside, she's begging.- MEULIN: DON'T-- MEULIN: PLEASE. PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. DON'T DO WHAT HE DID. MEULIN: DON'T BREAK US APART. MEULIN: I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE ALONE. MEULIN: I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE. CRONUS: hey, you havwe me, right?  ... does that count for anything? MEULIN: -She doesn't know what he's saying, exactly, but she's watching him carefully. She just wanted to say it, wanted him to know how important it was to her to keep this, to keep him. And then she takes his hands, holding on tight.- CRONUS: ill look after you, kitten.  okay?  -he tries to mouth it as broadly as he can- MEULIN: -Her jaw trembles again, and she moves toward him, burying her face in his chest and trying to find some way to breathe. She wants it all to be true. For him to be true. But hoping burns as much as loss, and maybe more. That doesn't mean she'll stop.- CRONUS: -he holds onto her tightly and presses a kiss to her head-

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Is there a food that REALLY GETS RUFIOH GOING

scratches rufioh out and replaces with meu

tbh it would probably be like…… nip baked goods/chocolate. she will go from zero to a hundred real quick from the combo of tasty goodness and body high

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📱 (Gamzee, Dualscar.)

Gamzee: [GAMZ3333333… I SM33333LLLZ YOOOOUUU. BUT I DON’T S33 YOU??? (^・ω・^ ) YOU’RE BETTER AT HIDING THAN MOST OF THE PEOPLE ON THE SHIP… YOU CRAY. (^˘ ³˘) BUT I MISS YOU! YOU SHOULD COME OUT!!!]

Dualscar: [DUALSIR! MOG, DID YOU S33 MY FLEX THIS MURRNING THO???? I’M PRETTY SURE IT IS AT LEAST, LIKE, TEN TIMES MORE SWOLE THAN IT WAS LAST W33K. (=^･ｪ･^=) THESE REPS ARE KICKING MY BUUUUTT… AND I LOVE IT. (´⊙ω⊙`) I’M GOING TO DO TAIL-UPS TOMORROW. JUST WATCH ME.]

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HEADCANON PROMPT MEME: Send in a character and a number from this list and I will write a headcanon based on the word

Love

Hate

Hopes

Fears

Crying

Laughter

Travel

Dreams

Music

Art

Best Friend

Worst Enemy

Hair

Eyes

Hands

Smile

Scars

Winter

Summer

Spring

Autumn

Family

Romance

Orientation

Religion

Beauty

Sleep

Home

Bedroom

Sex

Death

Birth

Safe

Affection

Guilt

Sacrifice

Vengeance

Sympathy

Secret

Scent

Memory

Loss

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-- aerugoTourbillon [AT] began trolling ardentCupid [AC] at 22:38 -- AT: hey, so... i guess... i didn't say where i was going? that probably wasn't a good idea. AT: huh. AC: (=ↀェↀ=) < RUFIOH!!!!! AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < ARE YOU OKAY? AT: yeah, i'm okay. sorry. AT: know you were probably worr1ed. AC: ＼(=^..^)/ < ＼(=^..^)// AC: ＼(=^..^)// < YOU'VE B33N OUT WHERE I CAN'T SMELL YOU! AC: (^・x・^) < ARE YOU... COMING BACK? AT: sorry, doll... yeah 1'm com1ng back. 1 went for a cru1se but uhhh. AT: ended up stay1ng out here, 1 guess. 1t's k1nd of n1ce. AC: (=^･ω･^) < OH... I BET IT WAS NICE. AC: (^・ω・^=) < DID YOU JUST WANT SOME SPACE? AT: k1nd of. 1t wasn't really ant1c1pated. AT: couldn't... really br1ng myself back to the room. AC: (=^..^=) < I DIDN'T THINK SO... AT: party was fun at least... cronus looked l1ke he had a good t1me. AC: (^./_.^)ﾉ < YES, BUT HE IS A BIG DINGUS DONGUS. AT: heh... he do someth1ng dumb aga1n? AC: (=^･ｪ･^=) < YES. AT: oh... AT: so. AT: 1t was worse than a regular k1nd of dumb? AT: }:? AC: (^・x・^) < MAYBE. AT: 1s he okay? AC: (^･o･^) < I THINK SO! AC: (^-人-^) < JOHN IS TAKING CARE OF HIM. AT: sh1t... okay. AT: had me scared there for a sec. AC: (^._.^) < ME TOO. AT: fuck. AC: (=^･ｪ･^=) < ??? AT: noth1ng. AT: 1'm just... be1ng a douche. not tell1ng anyone where 1 was go1ng. AC: (=^..^) < YES, BUT... SOMETHING HAPPENED. AC: (^..^) < DIDN'T IT? AT: maybe. AT: 1t was stup1d. AC: (=^..^=) AT: sorry... th1s probably a1n't help1ng. AT: be1ng fl1ghty and sh1t. AC: ~(=^. .^) < IT'S OKAY... DO YOU WANT TO TALK? AT: 1t's k1nd of hard to. s1gh. AT: just had 1t out w1th kankr1, 1 guess. AC: (^._.^) < KANKRI? AC: (^./_.^) < WHAT DID HE DO? AT: he was there 1n the common room... ask1ng what 1 was up to gett1ng some water. AT: told me off about the party stuff. AT: l1ke... all of 1t's my 1dea or someth1ng... 1nstead of me try1ng to. just. AT: be there for cronus... make sure he doesn't hurt h1mself wh1le he tr1es to f1gure out whatever the hell he's go1ng through. AT: anyway... yeah. AT: told h1m 1t wasn't any of h1s bus1ness and he was all... why was 1 be1ng rude at h1m. AT: well... fuck h1s fakey fake manners, tbh... that's what 1 sa1d. 1'm not gonna pretend l1ke 1'm cool w1th h1m when 1'm not. AT: sh1t just went downh1ll from there. AC: (=^. .^) < HAS HE ALWAYS B33N MEAN TO YOU? AT: no. AT: not t1l 1 started call1ng h1m out on h1s bullsh1t. AC: (^・ ・^ ) < IS HE ALWAYS BULLSHIT? AT: yeah. AT: he only ever pretended to g1ve a sh1t about me. he doesn't actually. AT: maybe he never d1d. AT: 1 tr1ed be1ng there for h1m and when 1 needed h1m to be there for me... 1t was just h1m humor1ng me. AT: noth1ng 1 ever sa1d was worth anyth1ng to h1m. AC: (^..^) < OH.... AC: (=^..^) < SO HE DIDN'T LISTEN? AT: no. AT: started back when we got rescued from that sh1t w1th the golden prong. AT: he d1dn't l1ke how 1 was cop1ng w1th 1t but... fuck. AC: (^・x・^) < WAS THAT WHEN EVERYONE WAS CATPURRED? AT: 1'd just lost my lusus. 1 couldn't even talk to my matespr1t w1thout 1t be1ng a federal fuck1ng 1ssue. 1'd spent almost a per1gree locked 1n some hole... not know1ng 1f we were gonna make 1t out al1ve. AT: 1t was bullsh1t. AC: (=^..^) < RRR... AT: 1 needed h1m... and all he could do was cr1t1c1ze me. AT: l1ke horuss wasn't already do1ng that. AC: (=^･ｪ･^=) < YOU DIDN'T DESERVE THAT, RUFIOH. AT: no... and 1t just kept gett1ng fuck1ng worse. AT: cuz 1'd tell h1m. AT: and he'd just act l1ke he wasn't do1ng anyth1ng. l1ke 1 was the one w1th the att1tude. AT: always judg1ng me and n1tp1ck1n me. act1ng so h1gh and m1ghty l1ke h1s sh1t don't st1nk. AT: 1t wasn't so bad t1l that sh1t w1th d1rk happened. and 1 broke my r1bs. AC: (^./_.^) < !!! AT: 1 was feel1ng... real fuck1n terr1ble at the t1me. about myself. AT: aranea... had broken up w1th me. or called 1t off. whatever that was we had. AT: we weren't talk1ng anymore. AC: (^._.^) < OH... AT: 1 wanted to have fun maybe... mess around for a l1ttle b1t... played some pranks w1th damara. AT: then d1rk l1ke... lost h1s sh1t. k1cked my ass. broke my r1bs. 1t was stup1d. AC: (=ΦェΦ) < DID HE APAWLOGIZE???? AT: yeah he d1d but whatever. sh1t happens. AC: (=^･ｪ･^=) < RRR.. AT: anyway... 1 wasn't feel1ng so hot. AT: gamzee been stay1ng 1n my block at the t1me. he was wean1ng off the sl1me. AT: 1 felt l1ke... he was the one good th1ng 1 could do. just to keep track of h1m. AC: (^._.^) < ... SLIME? AT: yeah, 1t's... a long story. AT: fuck. AC: (=^..^=) < ERR... MAYBE THAT ISN'T MY BUSINESS... AC: (=^..^)ノ < IT'S OKAY. YOU CAN K33P GOING. AT: uh... yeah. AT: 1 was feel1ng crappy. 1t felt l1ke... everyone who was see1ng the real me. l1ke... AT: after they got to know me. AT: d1dn't... want me anymore. AT: and 1t was hard. try1ng to come to terms w1th that vo1ce tell1ng me that... 1 couldn't blame them. AT: so. AT: kankr1 comes over. and starts ragg1ng on me about be1ng reckless. AT: and that opens up another th1ng about l1ke... how he doesn't actually know me and how... AT: 1t felt l1ke... whenever 1 stood up for myself. and told people 1 d1dn't wanna be told how to feel. 1 was suddenly the bad guy. well 1 told kankr1. AT: maybe 1 was just an asshole the whole t1me. maybe he was just always see1ng what he wanted to see about me. AT: and he sa1d. AT: that was probably why 1 was alone. AC: (^._.^) AT: 1t was why my mo1rail left me. 1t was why... everyone d1d. AT: 1t fucked me over so bad. 1 d1dn't want to do anyth1ng but sleep. AT: and then when 1 d1dn't. beforus went to sh1t. and 1 couldn't... AT: 1 tr1ed to message h1m aga1n and he d1dn't AT: answer AC: (=^..^) < RUFIOH... AT: 1 d1dn't want to be awake or feel anyth1ng. 1 wanted 1t to stop. AT: and 1 tr1ed to. really really hard. AC: (^..^) < THAT'S WHY YOU WERE IN THE INFURMARY? AT: yeah. AC: (^..^) < YOU DIDN'T F33L LIKE THAT AFTER YOUR FIGHT DID YOU? AT: no. AT: 1 know kankr1 doesn't g1ve a damn about my feel1ngs. AT: he sa1d. AT: 1 was be1ng unprofess1onal. AT: and 1 told h1m to fuck off. AC: (=^..^) < I THINK THAT YOU DESERVED TO SAY THAT. AFTER HE HURT YOU. AT: 1 just... needed to get out for a wh1le. get some a1r. AT: 1... m1ss. AT: my dad. AC: (^..^) < ... AC: (^..^) < I'M SORRY. AC: (^..^) < IT'S OKAY THAT YOU WANTED TO BE AWAY FUR A WHILE. AT: yeah. AC: (^..^) < IT'S... HARD. TO THINK. AT: 1 know what to th1nk. AT: 1 th1nk. AT: 1 don't fuck1ng need h1m. AC: (^..^) < YEAH. AC: (^..^) < I'M SORRY... ARE YOU COMING BACK SOON? AT: don't let h1m th1nk that he cares cuz. he doesn't. AC: (^..^) < OKAY. AT: maybe... AT: some seagulls are hang1ng out w1th me. they're really cute. AC: (=^･ω･^) < THAT'S GOOD! AT: they have th1s palm they l1ke to hang out 1n so... that's where 1'm at. 1f you're wonder1ng. AC: (=^･^=) < I'M GLAD YOU FOUND SOME FRIENDS. AT: thanks... AT: anyway... d1dn't really mean to bum you out w1th th1s sh1t. AT: 1t's all pretty stup1d. AC: (=｀ω´=) < IT'S OKAY. IT'S NOT STUPID. AC: ~(=^. .^) < I'M GLAD YOU TALKED TO ME. AC: ＼(=^..^)/ < I REALLY AM! AT: a1ght... AC: (=^･ω･^=) < I HOPE YOU ARE F33LINE BETTER. AC: (=^･ω･^) < MAYBE JUST A LITTLE BIT. AT: yeah, a l1ttle. that's all that matters. AC: (=^ω^=) < Y3333333!!! AT: sorry for mak1ng you worry. AC: (=^..^)ノ < I'LL BE OKAY, RUFIOH! AC: └(=^..^=)┐< I AM JUST GLAD YOU'RE OKAY. AT: yeah... but you fuss anyway. AC: (^･o･^)ﾉ < ARE YOU CALLING ME A WORRYPUSS? AT: pretty sure 1 don't need ha1r product anymore... you just groom 1t stra1ght. haha. AT: 1'm call1n you a worry someth1ng. troo. AC: ヽ(^..^=ゞ) < A FURRYPUSS? AT: 1... can't repeat that back w1th a stra1ght face. AC: (^˘ ³˘) < LMAO. AT: plz. AC: (^˘ ³˘) < LMEOW. AT: h1lar1ous... AC: (^◔ᆺ◔^) < HILARIPUSS. GET ON MY LEVEL. AT: gd1. that's not better. AT: why we talk1n about th1s. AC: (=^◡ᆺ◡^) < AM I RUBBING YOUR FUR THE WRONG WAY? AT: don't have fur but 1f 1 d1d. AT: th1s... conversat1on don't need to go that way. AT: just say1n. AT: 1 m1ss you. AC: (≚ᄌ≚) < COME ON RUFIOH... I'M JUST KITTEN AROUND. AC: (｡･ω･｡) < oh! AC: (｡･ω･｡) < I MEAN OH! AC: (=ＴωＴ=) < I MISS YOU TOO. AT: 1 probs m1ss you... more. woah. AT: m1ke drop. AC: ∑ ( ✪` ᆺ ´✪ ) < ALRIGHT... NOW I'M ABOUT TO BE A SOURPUSS. AT: f1ght me... 1x1... no pulls. AC: (^･o･^)ﾉ < WHAT ABOUT PETS? AC: ฅ(≚ᄌ≚) AT: k1sses work too. l1ke... th1rty three k1sses. are an acceptable number of k1sses... to g1ve out. AT: on my face. AT: }:* AC: (´⊙ω⊙`) AC: (=⊙3⊙=) AC: (*Φ3Φ*) < U GONNA GET FURKED UP BOI. AT: k1ss1e. }:* }:* }:* AT: hehehe. oh shit. AC: (ノω<。) < 333333333333333!!!! AT: stop.... except don't. AC: (╯ФÅФ)╯︵ sǝssᴉʞ AT: 1 th1nk she mad. not sure. AC: (｀ｪ´=) < .... AC: (^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘) AT: sh1t, doll.... th1s 1s too much. AT: but hell 1f 1'm not d1gg1n 1t. AC: (^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘)(^˘ ³˘) AT: }:O AT: haha... 1 bet they're t1ckl1sh. AC: (○｀ω´○) < PURRN'D. AC: (n˘ω˘•)¬ < THAT'S THIRTY THR33. AT: a1ght... that's acceptable. AT: you pass. AC: (^◔ᆺ◔^) < """ACCEPTABLE.""" AT: that's what 1 sa1d. AC: (╯ФÅФ)╯︵ ǝlqɐʇdǝɔɔɐ AC: (╯ФÅФ)╯< PLGEH! AT: mmmmmmmmm unacceptable. AT: hope you d1dn't tear up my room wh1le 1 was gone. AC: (^･o･^)ﾉ AC: (^･o･^) AC: (^・ω・^ ) AT: no gr1lled cheeses for d1ns, yo. AC: ヾ(*ΦωΦ)ﾉ < JUST TRY AND STOP ME!!!!! AC: ლ(=ↀωↀ=)ლ < I'LL GRILL _YOUR_ CH33SE. AT: k1nky... AC: (≚ᄌ≚) < IT WOULD BE KINKY IF I SAID I'D MAKE IT HOT AND MELTY AND NIBBLE THE EDGES. AC: (=⊙ω⊙) < BUT I DIDN'T. AT: fuck... AT: th1s shouldn't be so funny. AC: ฅ(≚ᄌ≚) AT: th1nk 1 better come home now. all of a sudden. AC: d(=^･ω･^=)b AT: shhh... 1'm do1ng 1t for the gr1lled cheeses. AC: (ฅ•ᆺ•ฅ) < https://media.giphy.com/media/38fblIIrHLMPe/giphy.gif AT:  http://i.makeagif.com/media/10-17-2015/MkaqXs.gif AC: (^・ω・^ ) < http://im.ziffdavisinternational.com/askmen_me/articlepage/a/awesome-gr/awesome-grilled-cheese-sandwich_emsq.jpg AT: sc1ence expla1ns. AC: (=^･ω･^=)丿< THAT'S FAX, NO PRINTER. AT: ok but real talk... that gr1lled cheese looks sexy as fuck. AT: 1 need 1t. AT: 1n my mouth... rn. AC: (=^..^=)┐< COME GET IT! AT: here 1 come... AC: (=^･ω･^) < THERE HE GO... MEOWJESTIC. RUFIOH: *busting down the door to his room very soon afterwards, looking very dark brown in the skin and shirtless. This is what happens when you spend all day cruising air currents in open sunlight.* RUFIOH: *Feet are still grainy with sand and frankly, he just looks like the wild troll he actually is at heart.* MEULIN: *She's already been to the cafeteria to gather up at least three grilled cheeses, and some veggies and fruits. Because she just do. They're all plattered on their little kotatsu table that she's curled up under, crawling out once she hears him come in and peering up.* PRRRP! (˄·͈༝·͈˄) MEULIN: *Baps at a foot.* RUFIOH: *It's a little worrying remembering that Cronus wasn't here... but as long as he was with John, at least Ruf knew he'd be okay. He gets to kneeling and tugging at her hand.* }>:O MEULIN: *Aaaaa... It's really hard to mess around when he is this close and just here and also touching her hand. She missed him and she was scared and way too alone with... thoughts, and she crawls up and closer to press her face to his too-warm chest with a vaguely surprised chirp.* YOU'RE HOT! *Sun burns do that??* RUFIOH: *Meh, he's fine and also remembers to sign it at her.* <1t's okay. feels good.> *shoots her a lopsided grin, bringing his arms around her and just. Hugging her to his chest. Shh, only tanned tiddies now.* MEULIN: OHHH, KA-- *tid. She's giggling into tid. Scratch that, nuzzling tid. Purring into tid.* RUFIOH: *Kawaii... and he really did miss her. So many things seemed to be happening and not enough time to catch up with her on it. He can only press kisses up between her horns and purr in return.* MEULIN: *Maybe it's the rumble in return, or that funny silky feeling of the edge of one of his wings when she gets her arms around him, too, or the fact that he stays there and doesn't move, or maybe it's a lot of things that has her own noises quieting at a tightness in her throat, a wetness in her lashes. She holds onto him, too, nuzzling him again.* RUFIOH: *Yeah. He has to angle himself to sit rather than kneel and keeps his arms around her. She can't hear him sure but it doesn't mean he's going to pretend like he doesn't notice how much she's been hurting all by herself. It's not really something they'd been inclined to talk about... Ruf felt it had been too soon to bring it up. Whatever it was. Hands run up her shoulders and over her back, the steady affection moving from her hair to nuzzle at her horns. She was safe here.* MEULIN: *That's how it feels, and she's glad for it; for a moment she can focus on nothing else but him, soaking up the scent and the feeling of him even through her horns like it's blanketing her, keeping everything else out. She isn't sure how many seconds it is, but she relaxes in his hold, sniffs once.* MEULIN: --MISSED YOU. RUFIOH: m1ssed you more. *purrs out but he isn't 100% sure whether she got the message. He CAN run fingers through the fluff of her hair though. It's a good compromise.* MEULIN: *It's three syllables she feels that she can take a guess at, and it's easier to smile, then, turning her face to keep her cheek and her ear pressed to his chest like maybe she could almost hear the sound if she stayed this close. But even as much as she wants to keep staying close, she smells cheese. He hasn't eaten. She's taking this hold she's got on him and suddenly trying to squirm-drag him closer to the table.* 3333AT. RUFIOH: *snorts a laugh and lets her do the dragging. Okay, okay. He can pay attention to his poor rumbly stomach for now. That grilled cheese really was looking sexy, it stands no chance. However, stuffing his face doesn't mean he can't also lean himself against Meulin the whole time. Spreads crumbs on her. Nuzzling her from time to time. This was the ideal arrangement.* MEULIN: *THAT IS HER MANE SIR, WE WILL HAVE TO FIGHT. Except she's probably also got another square of sandwich she's holding up to his face, very helpfully. Mouthing the words NOM NOM NOM.* RUFIOH: *chomps about half of it in one bite. He's HUNGER.* MEULIN: (=⊙ω⊙) MEULIN: BAH GAWD. MEULIN: THE FURRLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHOMP IS HERE. MEULIN: YOU HEARD IT HERE FURST FOLKS. RUFIOH: *waggles eyebrows at and chomps up the second half while he's at it* <hot.> MEULIN: MYAA! *relinquishes the sandwich to his mouth* THAT WASN'T EVEN AN INNUENDO THAT TIME. MEULIN: YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS HOT. HOT FUR THE CH33SE. RUFIOH: <says you.> *snickering very maturely. Yes.* MEULIN: I DO SAYS. MEULIN: *paps his chest delicately with a crumby hand.* YOU'RE ALL HOT CHOCOLATEY FOR IT. MEULIN: RUFIOH SEZ............ HELO WOULD U LIKE SOME OF THIS HOT CHOCLETY MILK ? RUFIOH: *just kind of accepts the crumbs on his face. He's had worse.* <where's the chocolate m1lk though... false advert1sement.> *starts popping all these grapes on his mouth and chewing. God damn he was ravenous.* MEULIN: (^・ω・^=) MEULIN: *No comment...* MEULIN: *Looks at the ceiling INNOCENTLY.* RUFIOH: ... *squints at her. Flicks a grape right at her face.* MEULIN: AH-- BLUH!!! MEULIN: (^>Å<^) MEULIN: NO! RUFIOH: <you started 1t.> *doesn't stop him from snickering though* MEULIN: *scoops up a pear and smushes it right up against his cheek while pawing around for the Lost Grape on the floor.* APPEARANTLY. (=⊙ω⊙) MEULIN: EXCEPT ACTUALLY YOU ARE JUST A BOOTYHOLE. MEULIN: AND I AM CALLING SHENYAANIGANS. RUFIOH: *Yep. This pear is getting smooshed to his face. Just another day in the fucking life. Turns and slobber licks her whole hand. BLEEEEEH.* MEULIN: *SCR3333333333CH* MEULIN: *sputters and drops pear!!!* MEULIN: *FLAPS ARMS* RUFIOH: *There was an absurd amount of drool there. Rufioh is laughing his ass off, wiping at his mouth.* <get wrecked.> MEULIN: *she's gonna wipe that hand on his... PANT LEG???? AAAHHHHHH.* (=@////@=) MEULIN: UUUUUU... MEULIN: I... MEULIN: I'M SO. MEULIN: WRECKED... MEULIN: *she may cry.* MEULIN: *SEMES GIVE HER STRENGTH.* RUFIOH: *Eh. He doesn't mind so much. The nasty boy troll is looking mighty pleased with himself.* <mess w1th the bull, get the horns.> MEULIN: NO. MEULIN: NOOOO. MEULIN: NONONONO. RUFIOH: *gently puts a hand on her cheek and pushes at her. It's go time.* MEULIN: RUF333333, AAAAA! *shoves back at one of his shoulders* MEULIN: I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ENTIRE ASS. ( ；` ᆺ ´； ) MEULIN: THE WHOLE. MEULIN: BUTT. RUFIOH: *paws are on his shoulder and of course, he's gonna push back. Shit this gentle tussle with his arms at her is happening.* <b1te me.> }8) *TUSSLES HER* MEULIN: RRRRR--!! 3333, H33H33H33-- *damn it. She can't NOT TUSSLE, her tail all poofy-furred and every sound just an incredibly confused mixture of mock-growls and laughter. She's gonna try to hug-grapple him to the floor and DO THE BITIES right on his neck!! With gentle little needle kitty teeth, of course.* ~(=^✪`´✪^) RUFIOH: *he wheezes and finds himself laughing too, all caught up in the rush of affection and pure fucking joy it is just to play around like that. When was the last time he had such an easy thing with someone? And it wasn't like Meulin didn't have actual strength enough to pounce him. He's crushed under her weight, laughing with his arms tangled up with hers. Soft and warm in some places but sharp in others, her claws digging slightly into him and the teeth prickling at his neck. Shit. In a weird flush of brown to his face, Ruf remembers how exposed he actually was with his shirt missing here. Enough that his laughs feel winded all of a sudden as he struggles under her... but not too much. His bloodpusher was doing a rapid skippy thing he can't exactly explain in the moment but it's nothing compared to the impulsive curiosity burning at his skin. What if he just. Stopped struggling enough to let her bite him. What if that is exactly what he was doing right then and there. Rumbling underneath her in that weird curious way, Rufioh felt like he was just about to find out. Whoops.* MEULIN: *She's squirming, fighting to keep him pinned back, growling and giggling right into his skin, into his pulse at the side of his neck. She thought she had mostly forgotten that warmth in her face until he isn't struggling anymore, until her own heartbeat feels like the loudest thing in the world because of how still he has become under her, just vibrating gently. Meulin remembers a dozen other things she had forgotten just as suddenly -- his warmth, his bare skin, the fact that she now just has her teeth clamped around him and is drooling slightly. Fuck. She loosens the hold of her jaw and slowly closes her lips around the spot to try to sort of maybe clean it up, and immediately regrets the decision. Meulin, why. She's a little too embarrassed now to even lift her face up and look at him, so now maybe she's making it even worse by staying there, torn with indecision and swallowing around her thudding pulse, tail twitching and curling in the air behind her. She hasn't loosened her hold, either. As long as he's still here, she feels like maybe she shouldn't.* MEULIN: ... I GOT YOU. RUFIOH: heh... yeah... got me. *says it as if she could actually hear him. It was hard to remember the details when her mouth was lingering on his neck. The puff of warm, sweet breath in his ear really eclipsed his attention to anything else. And what was worse was the way Meulin seemed to be tensed up here, careful as if the joke was teetering into much more unfamiliar territory. He can't move his arms, she won't try to move off him. But if she did, could Rufioh deny what he already wanted to do? It was just within reach... and so was she. A fact proven when he leans to press a soft, soft kiss into the crook of her jaw, just under her hearing duct.* MEULIN: *She can feel the just slightly louder vibrations when he speaks -- he has to be speaking -- but she couldn't even begin to decipher it. She feels his lips on her skin, and it's like everything grinds to a halt. Her blood feels like it's burning and freezing all at once, scorching her nerves, and it's all so. She can't think, every thought too fleeting a scrap to gasp, and she's trying, trying to make sense of any of this, of the strange and unwelcome feeling of sickness in the pit of her stomach, the instinctive feeling of a strange kind of terror, so many things she wants to be the last things she ever feels when she's with him. But it's hitting her now that she can't remember feeling this fear before, and how horrifically broken the rest of her life had been until now in ways she had never even known. This feeling, it's real. And she has no idea how to reconcile that knowledge in her feverish mind. The most she can offer, for now, is a hitch in her breath and a rigid spine, wracked with a terrible sort of indecision that she's privately praying he just might be able to understand.* RUFIOH: *there's no response from her, which by itself, isn't exactly the best sign. He pauses for just a heartbeat, registering the catch in her throat and how stiff she went suddenly. He must have overstepped his boundaries or... whatever the case. She probably wasn't okay with this. The sweet affection from before twists into a grip of apprehension deep in his insides and so. Without saying much else, Rufioh is sitting up better and helping her off of him, a worried frown as he studies her face.* ...meu? MEULIN: *He's moving, moving her, but she can't help but to keep clinging to him and tighter like he's all that's anchoring her to gravity, and it feels almost true with how her head spins, knowing he's reacting, that she has to react, that she has to make sense of this somehow. It's frightening, too, how much she doesn't want to hurt him, at all, ever. She doesn't want that to happen now. She sucks in a breath.* MEULIN: 'M S-- MEULIN: *The feeling of her own voice is almost a little too much, and her throat tightens again, and she doesn't want to cry, she doesn't, she doesn't so badly.* RUFIOH: *But if he did, he wouldn't blame her. Hands keep to her shoulders as he attempts to steady her.* 1t's alr1ght, doll... see? noth1ng's wrong. *murmurs, hoping his comfort to her can be conveyed if just a little. Runs his palms up and down her arms.* MEULIN: *There's a funny part of her she's only now really becoming aware of that expects him to be rougher, to be anything other than gentle and careful, and it's such an odd and wonderful juxtaposition that he isn't that she can't help the tears, now. She's wanted to tell him. Tell him everything, all the terrible things, all the good things, and she couldn't seem to find the words. It's the hardest feeling, to feel more lonely and more lost than she ever has but at the same time here, found, whole. Not alone. She wishes there was a way to tell him that. For now, she just holds onto him, wilting under the weight of it all but... knowing, still, that she doesn't have to let go.* RUFIOH: *he doesn't move or say anything. All he can do is hold her, let her rest against him and wring out the feelings she could, if at all. It was excruciating to see it, knowing what he knew. He could only guess where this was all coming from. There'd be time for that, he was sure. All he had to do was wait. And for her? Anything. A chirr rumbles up from him, quiet.* MEULIN: *Time passes -- minutes, at least, she isn't sure how many -- and she feels like she's sorting through each pain one by one as she cries into him, all converging too terribly at first and then ebbing away, bit by bit. Things she hadn't let herself think, let herself feel. Regret for what she had been through, for what she couldn't control, what she had lost. What she had been forced to lose, what she had to try to make sense of now. Maybe she hasn't run out of reasons, but eventually, the aching tight grip of it all releases her enough to let her think again, let her settle into her own permanent quiet again, and with it comes a quiet kind of relief, the kind her fear had been denying her for so many days.* MEULIN: *And once it's gone, there's no reason not to say it anymore.* ... I LOVE YOU. RUFIOH: *the words sink with him like a slowly drifting stone. He didn't know what to say to her at first, so carefully trying to be in this moment for her. But a chilly kind of shock was creeping on him before he knew it, an emptiness he didn't know had been there. It was a rush of realization of his own pain, buried into submission somewhere under his loneliness. Not one of his quadrants had ever been the first to tell him they loved him. If at all. Heat floods his face, springing copper at his eyes as he wondered suddenly, if that was why it made it easy for them to overlook him. Forget about him.* ... *stares with a sad, pained expression at her, not bothering trying to return the words. In all honesty, he's afraid to. In the end, all Rufioh can do is duck his head down with a nod.* MEULIN: *She hadn't meant for the words to hurt him, either, but despite the pain she sees, she can't retract anything, not her words or her touch or herself at all. She couldn't think to abandon him, for whatever he feels, it doesn't matter. What she's said is true; it isn't conditional. And whatever he feels, she'll wait it through just the same, too, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder, completely exposed and yet safer now than ever. Free.*

[ardentcupid-blog]

CRONUS: *barges in the room after being out for awhile.  He's totally just made the room his home* MEULIN: *oh shit!! at first, she's a little startled at someone just coming in, but she recognizes who it is pretty quickly. she's been sitting on the floor, just drawing... a lot. her notebook's just filled with doodles.* HEY...! CRONUS: vwell, hey there, kitten.  *SMARMY GRIN*  vwhatvwe you got there?  *shoves his hands in his pockets and saunters over* MEULIN: *she can't tell completely what he's saying, but she can see what he's looking at, so she goes ahead and holds up the notebook for him. This page is mostly filled with doodles of... well, them, actually. With bonus Rufiohs and Gamzees.* CRONUS: hey, is this us?  *waves it around before looking at it again* MEULIN: YEAH! THAT'S YOU AND ME, AND RUFIOH AND GAMZ33. CRONUS: the vwhole gang in that case.  *grins at her and starts flipping through her notebook  idly* MEULIN: *the rest of it has more doodles of them, and several other friends of Meu's; some of them are shippy, naturally. She might even have doodled herself making heart eyes at Cronus in one of them, if he notices.* CRONUS: *OH HE NOTICES ALRIGHT, mostly paying attention to the ones of him*  is this you in lovwe vwith me?  *points at it in particular, his expresion pretty neutral somehow* MEULIN: *omg* .... WHAT? CRONUS: is it?  is this an illustration of you in lovwe wvith me? MEULIN: I'M SORRY... I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ASKING? CRONUS: *staares at her* *right.  Chick cant hear*  im going to need to learn that vwavwey hand thing if im going to stay in here arent i?  *SIGHS*  *pulls out his communicator and quickly looks up basic hand waves* ... *that didn't help at all* hey, meulin, vwhats that hand thing you and rufioh are alvways doing?  *waves a hand around hoping that'll help show what he's asking* MEULIN: *UMM... she just waits patiently as he talks and types and talks again.* .... HAND THING? MEULIN: OH! MEULIN: YOU MEAN SIGN LANGUAGE? CRONUS: oh right, yeah, that.  *looks it up on his communicator again, this time calling it the CORRECT thing*  ... *well, this is going to be difficult*  *tries his best with what he's finding on these 8ASIC WORDS IN SIGN LANGUAGE and 100 FIRST SIGNS websites* *points at her drawing and signs PHOTO.  Then points at himself then meulin and signs LOVE* MEULIN: .... *WELL. she's turning green as she peers over to look at the exact drawing he was looking at. She understands now.* UMMMM... MEULIN: HAHA! MEULIN: ... MEULIN: WELL, THAT'S.... MEULIN: I MEAN... MEULIN: I DRAW THINGS LIKE THAT SOMETIMES WHEN... MEULIN: I LIKE PEOPLE? MEULIN: OH MY GOSH. *buries face in hands.* MEULIN: I AM JUST LITTERALLY SUCH A DUMB. CRONUS: heh, sounds like someone has a crush on me.  *WINKS AT HER* MEULIN: NOOOOOO... *HE'S WINKING AT HER!!! she buries her face EVEN MORE.* MEULIN: THE CAT'S OUT OF THE BAG... MEULIN: (ノェＴ=) CRONUS: *crap, now he can't sign OR talk at her because her face is buried*  *he thinks he's probably going to have to........ wait..... * CRONUS: *oh there's an eye, GRINS MORE* MEULIN: (ノ////Φ。) CRONUS: *makes a kissy face* MEULIN: CR-- RRRR!!!!! MEULIN: *TINY WH33ZY SQU33.* MEULIN: *now she's just giggling awkwardly, fuck* CRONUS: heh, its definitely out of the bag, and the more you act like that, the more the cats thrashing and flailing around the room. MEULIN: H33H33 WHAT?? CRONUS: uhh... *SIGNS... CAT.  JUMPING.  ROOM.* MEULIN: ... CAT JUMPING ROOM? MEULIN: ... MEULIN: YOU MEAN THE CAT I LET OUT OF THE BAG?? CRONUS: yeah, to the extreme.  .... *signs 8IG* MEULIN: BIG CAT? CRONUS: sure. MEULIN: ... UM... MEULIN: DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE OKAY WITH THIS? CRONUS: vwhy not?  heh, it makes me feel pretty avwesome, actually. MEULIN: ... SO THAT IS A YES? MEULIN: (｡･ω･｡) CRONUS: you bet.  *sliiides in at her* MEULIN: ... H33H33. HI. CRONUS: vwas it a dream come true vwhen i started livwing in here? MEULIN: *tilts head slowly* MEULIN: UM... MEULIN: CAN YOU HELP MEOWT? CRONUS: sure.  vwhat do you need, kitten? MEULIN: *sweating* CAN YOU WRITE OR SIGN? CRONUS: oh right.  i could... vwrite.  *time to start typing everyone on his communicator* -like this?* MEULIN: YEAH!! MEULIN: SO, UM. MEULIN: WHAT IS UP NOW? CRONUS: -well, im hanging here vwith you.  unless you mean something else?- MEULIN: THAT IS TRUE! MEULIN: I GUESS I MEAN... WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT? CRONUS: -vwell i guess- *thinks* -you miss listening to my music right?- MEULIN: *her tail flicks, curls around her waist.* OH, YEAH! I DO... MEULIN: IT'S B33N A LONG TIME NOW HASN'T IT? MEULIN: HAVE YOU MADE ANY MEW GOOD ONES? CRONUS: sure havwe.  and nowv im vworking on my magnum opus, vwhich has been in the vworks for a fewv perigees nowv.  just taking my time on it, you knowv? CRONUS: *HE TYPED THAT dojo forgot the marks* MEULIN: OH!!!!! DANG IT... I'M GOING TO MISS IT WHEN YOU FINISH IT, TOO. （三ФÅФ三） CRONUS: -not necessarily.  rufioh and i vwere kinda thinking of looking into vways of getting music to ya.- MEULIN: ... (｡•ᆺ•｡) MEULIN: ... REALLY...? CRONUS: sure, vwhy not?  theres a bunch of scientists on board vwho do... sciency... things... MEULIN: *rests paws on cheeks* MEULIN: OHHH... MEULIN: PURRONUS... MEULIN: (ฅ；ω；ฅ) CRONUS: itd just be a shame if my biggest fan couldnt evwen listen to my music. -forgets to type that and says  it out loud* MEULIN: *sniffs* WHAT? *she's reaching for him now. she wants to snug.* CRONUS: oh, right.  -i said itd be a shame if you couldnt evwen hear it since youre my biggest fan.- *LEANS INTO THE SNUG* MEULIN: *soft purring and leaning right back into him as she reads it* AHH... YEAH!! I WANT TO! I REALLY WANT TO! CRONUS: -cool.  looks like i need to chat up some of those science cats, am i right?- *wraps an arm around her shoulder and gives it a squeeze* MEULIN: *chirps at the squeeze and laughs again* YES. WE WILL FIGHT THEM UNTIL THE MEWSICS HAPPEN. MEULIN: ALL THE MEWSICS, ALL IN MY FACE. MEULIN: HEY! MEULIN: CAN YOU SING FUR ME RIGHT NOW? MEULIN: I CAN'T HEAR IT BUT MAYBE IF I SNUGGLE YOUR NECK ENOUGH I CAN KIND OF. (^･ω･^) CRONUS: vwowv, sounds hot.  -sure thing, kitten. snuggle avway.- *PULLS a different keytar out since he gave his main one to jane* MEULIN: ლ(=ↀωↀ=)ლ !!!!! MEULIN: *she's wiggling up under his keytar and his arms and just nuzzling right into his neck.* CRONUS: *starts PLAYING AWAY, although at first he's not sure what to play for her.  Hmmm... wait, he knows what to play, one of the first songs he ever did a cover of.* oh life, its bigger.  its bigger than you.  and you are not me.  the lengths that i vwill go to.  the distance in your eyes.  oh no, ivwe said too much.  ivwe set it up.  thats me in the corner, thats me in the spot.  light.  losing my re CRONUS: ligion.  trying to keep up vwith you.  and i dont knowv if i can do it.  oh no, ivwe said too much, i havwent said enough. MEULIN: *she's trying to hold back her own purring just so she can focus on the vibrations in his throat, trying to make some sense out of it, but it's difficult. either way, the feeling is soothing, and so is how his arms move slightly around her as he plays. it's just... nice, to be close, and to know he's doing this for her, even if she can't fully appreciate it the way she wants to, the way most other MEULIN:  people would be able to. but he's still doing it, anyway, just because she asked. she isn't sure why that is making her a little teary-eyed, but maybe it has something to do with this nice feeling, the curl of her smile pressed into his collarbone as she keeps focusing on the sensation of his song.* CRONUS: *he just keeps singing, thinking of everything that's happened during his stay on the uu, making his own heart ache a little*  i thought that i heard you laughing.  i thought that i heard you siiing.   i think i thought i sawv you try.  evwery vwhisper.  of evwery vwaking hour.  im choosing my confessions, trying to keep an eye on you.  like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool.  oh no, ivwe said t CRONUS: oo much.  i set it uup. MEULIN: *Okay... that's... definitely tears, and she sniffs again, trying to reach up discreetly to wipe at her own eyes before they roll onto his skin. Crap.* CRONUS: *was going to continue singing until he felt the WET on his shoulder, which makes him pause and look down at her* CRONUS: vwoah nowv, this isnt a crying song. MEULIN: I-- SORRY...! MEULIN: I DON'T KNOW WHY-- MEULIN: BLAWRG. *paw wipe at her face* CRONUS: hey, vwhy dont you soil this vwith your eyejuice?  *pulls out a hankey that says DEEPH<3RT on it and holds it to her* MEULIN: *well, she has no idea what he said, but she could use that, and she smiles a little. It's even branded!! What a dork.* THANK YOU. *buries face* MEULIN: I'M-- MEULIN: I'LL BE OKAY. MEULIN: I THINK IT JUST. MEULIN: ... I DON'T KNOW. I F33L LIKE IT SPOKE TO ME ANYWAY, EVEN IF I COULDN'T HEAR IT... CRONUS: vwoah really?  heh, vwe need to do this sort of thing more often.  you really are my biggest fan.  .... shit. *quickly types that all down* MEULIN: *she just blinks when he speaks it, but when she gets to read it, she starts laughing in earnest* YEAH...! CAN WE? CRONUS: -as i keep saying, vwhy not?- *gives her another wink after that.*  hey, maybe vwe could evwen vwrite something together. MEULIN: (=⊙ω⊙=)!!!!!!! MEULIN: MOG. MEULIN: OGM!!!!!!!!!! MEULIN: Y33333333S! MEULIN: YES, YES, YES! CRONUS: heh.  -my next album is going to blowv evweryone avway for sure.- MEULIN: *she practically slaps her own face with that handkerchief with how flustered she is* (ノω<。) MEULIN: H33H33H33H33! MEULIN: THEN, I'M GOING TO WORK HARD! TO MAKE SURE IT IS! CRONUS: -good.  vwere going to need some real svweet romance tunes to really get people in the mood.- MEULIN: (ฅ•ω•๑) .... IT'S FURRY TRUE. MEULIN: THE SW33TEST. MEULIN: WITH OUR PAWERS COMBINED... MEULIN: IT'S ABOUT. TO GET. MEULIN: _SHIPPY._ CRONUS: so shippy no one vwill evwer be single after listening to it. MEULIN: *THE DREAM... unless they don MEULIN: 't want to date anyone....* MEULIN: *BUT STILL MOSTLY THE DREAM.* MEULIN: (๑✧ᆺ✧๑) MEULIN: <33 CRONUS: -youre definitely lovwing this idea.- *gives her a PINCH* MEULIN: A-H33333!!! *SQUEALS and squirm-jumps away* CRONUS: heey, is someone ticklish?  ... -writes this down real quick- MEULIN: ....... (◐ ω ◑ ) MEULIN: NNNNNOOOOOO? CRONUS: .... *waggles his fingers at her* MEULIN: NOOOOO!!! *starts backwards crawling away* CRONUS: *SWOOPS IN for the TICKLE KILL.* MEULIN: *SHRIEKS AND FLAILS but she is just no match for the tickle assault... doesn't mean she's not gonna cling to Cronus arms and laugh and gasp up a storm!!* AAHHHHAHAHAH33H33H33 OH MEOW GOD!!!! MEULIN: *THAT WASNT EVEN A GOOD PUN HELP HER* CRONUS: *TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE* found your vweakness havwent i? MEULIN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOONUUUUSSSS!!!!!!! *that... was an attempt. an attempt was made. she's laughing and shrieking and panting all at once and now she's laugh-crying. SHE'S DYIIIING.* OH NO--!! *WH3333ZE.* MEULIN: *the softest kitty kicks*

[ardentcupid-blog]

MEULIN: *Somehow, she's found her way to the inner door of the airlock, and for whatever reason, she's frantically trying to get it open. Just tugging on the handle doesn't seem to be working, considering the ID pad, but she's trying to paw at that, too.* DAVE: -while on rounds, dave's communicator beeps, alerting that inner airlock door handles have been attempted, as well as failed passcode/ID attempts. he brings up the window on his communicator that shows live footage from the security camera in that area, and sure enough, there's meulin, messing with the door. he doesn't think she's going to actually get through, but he quickens his pace regardless, making it to her in record time and gently putting his hand on her arm so as not to scare her- MEULIN: *The gentle touch almost seemed to make her gasp, but with breath heavy as it was, it was hard to tell; her eyes moved to his face, and something about him seemed to keep her from darting away, staring for several confused seconds.* I-- I HAVE TO-- I N33D TO-- DAVE: -he starts to sign, watching her- <have to what> DAVE: <i dont think you gotta try to open this door cuz one youre not gonna be able to and two thres nothin out there> DAVE: theres* MEULIN: *It's difficult to pay attention to what he's doing, the way he's moving, but the fact that it's a different language than her memories helps somehow. Reminds her she's elsewhere, if only a little.* I HAVE-- HAVE TO GET RID OF THEM. DAVE: <get rid of what> MEULIN: THE-- THEY'RE COVERED-- COVERED IN IT-- MEULIN: THEY-- DAVE: <meulin hey> MEULIN: I HAVE TO-- DAVE: <youre ok> DAVE: <youre safe> MEULIN: *Her eyes sort of dart around his moving hands, up to his face again. At some point, words she's still trying to convey devolve into sobs, incomprehensible and shaky, but maybe just a little less frantic.* DAVE: -oh no, she's crying, and he has no idea what to do right here. after watching her for a moment, he holds out his hand and then moves it to sign again- <lets get out of here ok> -and then holds out his hand again- MEULIN: *She starts muffling the sound into her hands, purposefully or not, but as she stares at his hand, trying to steady her breath, she manages a few more words.* TAKE THEM-- PLEASE! TAKE THEM. *And to the ground clatter two clubs. Ones he's seen her with before.* DAVE: -he watches the clubs fall down to the ground and he swallows, remembering when she has used them before. and he understands that she's in pain, most likely plagued with memories of the things she's done under someone else's control--things others have done with her and against her will. he follows her orders immediately, capchaloguing both clubs quickly- MEULIN: *They're gone now, out of her sight, off her person. It's at least enough to calm her a little, though she's still staring at him, crying, white noise in her head.* DAVE: <come on> -he holds his hand out again- MEULIN: *She stares at his hand for a long, long moment, the tears hot on her face, and maybe it's only the pure need to feel like she's not so detached, so lost that makes her reach for his hand, to hold onto it tightly.* DAVE: -he takes her hand and starts leading her down the hallway, far away, until they reach a quiet and empty common room- <do you want to sit> MEULIN: *She doesn't know where they're going, only distantly aware of their surroundings, but right now, it's all she can do just to follow. At the question, she isn't sure how to respond again for a moment. She sort of feels like her limbs might snap to move too far, like she can't quite unstick them from the sides of her body, but eventually, she nods. She may as well at least try.* DAVE: -at that response, he leads her to the couch and sits down with her, uncapchaloguing a water bottle and handing it over to her- MEULIN: -She can't helping clenching her hands around it tightly, just holding onto it and staring at the cap before she eventually gets the idea to twist it open, every movement slow and careful. Her hand still shakes a little as she lifts it to her lips, sipping a tiny amount.- DAVE: -now that his hands are free he can keep signing- <whats going on> MEULIN: ... -she's almost afraid to speak. but maybe she doesn't have to. she rests the bottle in between her legs, trying to remember the motions for what she wants to say.- MEULIN: <REMEMBER.> MEULIN: <TOO MUCH.> MEULIN: <CAN'T. ...STOP.> DAVE: -he nods- <its impossible to stop remembering> DAVE: <but nothing that happened was your fault> MEULIN: -she doesn't know what to say to that.- MEULIN: <WANT. STOP.> DAVE: <i know> DAVE: <but wanting it to stop makes it worse> MEULIN: -at that, there's a fresh wave of tears, the sobs and the whimpers audible even with how she's trying to muffle them.- MEULIN: <HOW??? I DO THIS???> DAVE: <not alone> DAVE: <with people you trust> MEULIN: <AFRAID. AFRAID. HURT.> MEULIN: <BEFORE. KILL THEM.> MEULIN: <ME.> DAVE: <that aint you> DAVE: <you wont be doing the killing> MEULIN: <IT ME.> MEULIN: <MY HANDS.> DAVE: <not your control> MEULIN: -She doesn't know what to say anymore. Even if it wasn't her control, it was still her, and the memories now, they wouldn't just go away. She could see it all, everything so clearly, and she was horrified. By now, she's just leaning over, burying her face in her knees.- DAVE: -well, she can't hear him, so all he can do is place a supportive hand on her her shoulder, hoping she can feel that he's on her side- MEULIN: -It's a while before she finally moves, reaching up for the hand on her shoulder, holding onto it; it's a while more before she sits up again, eyes puffy and green-rimmed. She still looks distant, with how she's staring away still, ever away, but she isn't crying.- DAVE: -he places his thumb over her hand at least so she knows he's not alone. he'll give her time to process, to think, before attempting to sign again- MEULIN: -It still feels mostly like white noise in her head, but right now, she wants it. She wants the rest to fade into the background.- MEULIN: ... ARE YOU GOING TO GET RID OF THEM? DAVE: -pauses before pulling away his hand- <who> MEULIN: THEM. MEULIN: -she looks at him.- DAVE: <the  ones who hurt you> MEULIN: NO... MEULIN: -she shakes her head.- MEULIN: THE... MEULIN: -she lifts a hand, trying to gesticulate, to get her meaning across, but she gives up almost immediately, just resting her face in her hand again.- DAVE: -he has no idea what she means, so he places a hand on her shoulder again- MEULIN: -she really wants to tell him, but she's afraid just saying the word will make all the images come back again, the feeling come back.- MEULIN: PLEASE-- GET RID OF THEM. DAVE: -he doesn't understand and he tries to think about what she could be referring to- <the clubs> MEULIN: -she just nods.- DAVE: -he nods back- MEULIN: ... THANK YOU. DAVE: <sure> MEULIN: -she doesn't know what to say, now. maybe she should... go somewhere. somewhere else. she sort of wants to be alone, but at the same time, the thought is terrifying.- MEULIN: WHAT. MEULIN: DO I DO NOW? DAVE: <let people help you> DAVE: <youre not going to want to its good anyway> MEULIN: -she looks around at that, quiet, sort of humbled. maybe he's right. she doesn't know what to do.- OKAY. DAVE: <how are you feeling right now> MEULIN: ... I DON'T KNOW. DAVE: <thats cool> DAVE: <dont try to figure it out> MEULIN: ... OKAY. DAVE: <itll make things worse if you do> MEULIN: OKAY... DAVE: <just let yourself calm down for now> DAVE: <thats the goal just wait it out> DAVE: <dont make yourself> MEULIN: -she nods, slowly, and she's trying to find some logic through the haze in her brain.- MEULIN: MAYBE. I SHOULD. GO BACK. TO MY ROOM. DAVE: <are you going to be ok> DAVE: <by yourself> MEULIN: I'M... MEULIN: NOT ALONE. ANYMORE. DAVE: <oh good> DAVE: <ok> DAVE: <awesome> MEULIN: -she nods, almost sort of smiling a little.- DAVE: -smiles back- <see you later then> MEULIN: -the smile, or the attempt, is gone now, and she only nods. when she gets to her feet, she isn't as shaky now. she thinks she can remember how to get there from here, as long as she pays attention. she can focus on that, instead of everything else.- DAVE: -stays there while she gets up. he probably won't be moving for a while-

[ardentcupid-blog]

-- ardentCupid [AC] began trolling academicGeniality [AG] at 19:04 -- AC: (=^･ω･^) < ARANEA! HI! AG: Oh hello there, Meulin! It's 8een quite a while since we've spoken like this, hasn't it? AG: How have you 8een? AC: (^・ω・^ ) < I AM OKAY! AC: (=^･ω･^=)丿< HOW ARE YOU? AG: I'm wonderful! I haven't felt this good in a very long time. AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < WOW! THAT'S AMAZING, ARANEA! AC: ヽ(^..^=ゞ) < WHAT'S HAPPENING? AG: Well... Certain things worked out for me that we previously 8elieved to 8e a hopeless cause. ::::) AC: (^._.^) < ... AC: (^._.^)ﾉ < ARE YOU TELLING ME... AC: (^./_.^)ﾉ < THAT YOU AND A CERTAIN SOMEONE... AC: (=^･ｪ･^=) < ARE.... ??? AG: :::;) AC: (=ﾟ･ﾟ=) < ... AC: (=ﾟ･ﾟ=) < HHHHHHHHHHHP... AC: (=ＴωＴ=) < 33333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AG: Hehe! I thought you might like that. AG: I wanted to tell you sooner, 8ut I've 8een quite preoccupied. AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < NO NO, THAT'S OKAY! AC: (=^ω^=) < I'M JUST SO GLAD EFURRYTHING WORKED OUT! AC: (=ＴェＴ=) < I JUST... AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < I CAN'T EVEN. AC: ヾ(*ΦωΦ)ﾉ < IT'S SO GREAT! AG: It is pretty great! It's 8etter than great! AG: We get along so well... And so easily! He can 8e stu88orn sometimes, 8ut nothing a little encouragement can't fix. AC: (ノω<。) < AHHHHHH, I MEW IT! AC: (ฅ•ω•ฅ) < I MEW IT ALL ALONG! AC: (^●ㅅ●^) < I'M SO HAPPY FUR YOU I'M JUST AC: (◐ ω ◑ ) < JFDKSLAFWKDMSDKFL;F;D AC: (=；ェ；=) < SCREAMING AND CRYING!!!!11 AG: Oh, I think I hear it echoing down the halls even! AC: ヾ(*ΦωΦ)ﾉ < HOORAY! AC: b(=^..^=)o < THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT BE REAL. AG: Your support really made a difference to me! I knew deep down that there was still hope for us, 8ut I had almost given up on 8elieving our relationship could evolve. Knowing how strongly you felt a8out us made me feel that not everything was as it seemed. AG: After tragedy had 8efallen 8eforus, where he had once called home, he went into hiding, 8ut I pursued him and after comforting him, he admitted that he had feelings for me. Ones he no longer wished to hide from. It was very romantic! AG:  Um... Sad. And difficult. AG: ... 8ut romantic. AC: (=；ェ；=) < OHHHHH, MY GOD... AC: (=ＴェＴ=) < THAT _IS_ REALLY ROMANTIC.... AC: (｡◕ω◕｡) < AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I HELPED AT ALL! AC: (○｀ω´○) < I'M SO GLAD SOMETHING GOOD CAME OUT OF ALL THIS AFTER ALL. AG: ::::) AG: 8ut enough a8out me! What have you 8een up to lately? AC: (｡･ω･｡) < OH... I'VE MOSTLY JUST B33N HANGING OUT. AC: (=^-ω-^=) < NOT DOING A WHOLE LOT. AC: ~(=^. .^) < THERE IS SOMETHING I WAS MEANING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THOUGH... AG: What's that? AC: ~(=^..^)ノ < WELL. YOU REMEMBER THE STUFF I WAS BRINGING UP DURING THE M33TING...? AC: (=^..^=) < IT IS THAT KIND OF STUFF. AC: (^･o･^) < RUFIOH SAID I SHOULD PURRBABLY ASK YOU. AG: Oh... Yes, I see. Whatever it is you need, I'm happy to help. AC: (=^..^) < OKAY. WELL. AC: (=^..^) < I WAS WONDERING IF IT WAS PAWSSIBLE TO. FIGURE OUT MAYBE. AC: (=^..^=) < WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME? AG: Oh, you mean... AG: Yes. It's possi8le. AG: I have had some experience with exploring another troll's memories. AC: ~(=^. .^) < OH! THAT'S GOOD. AC: (=^..^)ノ < DO YOU THINK WE COULD THAT? SOON? AG: Certainly. My schedule is fairly open. AG: Ah... I'm not doing anything right now. AC: ＼(=^..^)/ < OH! AC: (=^..^=) < DO YOU THINK I COULD COME OVER NOW, THEN? AG: Of course you can! The door will 8e open. AC: └(=^..^=)┐< OKAY! I'M ON THE WAY. MEULIN: *And she's tapping lightly at Aranea's door! It's sort of a miracle she managed the light thing, considering she's usually loud about everything else, but she feels a sort of heaviness in her bones about this particular subject, and maybe that's enough to subdue her.* ARANEA: *this wasn't exactly a pleasant su8ject for aranea, either. using her powers since she had them returned to her, outside of the empathy she couldn't control, was something she was apprehensive a8out, afraid she would misuse them again. 8ut that couldn't 8e the case here, could it? meulin needed her help, and she was in a unique position to do so. when she hears the knock, she takes in a deep 8reath and goes to answer.* ARANEA: Hello! *greets her with the saluting sign. she's 8een practicing!* MEULIN: *She brightens a little at the cheerful greeting, at the sign that accompanied it. It had really touched her that everyone was trying so hard to include her, enough that they were learning a whole new language just for it, and maybe that was why she knew she had to be in the best place she could be to do something like this. To trust someone, for once, to actually help her.* MEULIN: HI! ARANEA: Please, come in. *gestures her inside, moving out of her way. aranea's room is very well organized with lots of 8ooks a8out, as one would expect. her walls are also decorated in maps, while knick knacks (usually spider themed) adorn the rest of the surfaces.* MEULIN: *Oh no, it's cute... and about what Meulin would have expected, true. It's definitely nice to have a real view of it, though! Even though those thoughts can't do much to actually distract her from the reason she's here, but they're at least pleasant enough to give her a moment to try to sort her thoughts. She's looking around for a place to sit and taking the spot that seems most convenient.* ARANEA: *there is a couch she can sit on, which would likely 8e most comforta8le and convenient for them. aranea moves to join her, smiling, though nerves are nagging at the 8ack of her own mind.* Now... How should we proceed? *pauses, looking throughtful.* ARANEA: <How to 8egin?> MEULIN: *She considers this for a moment herself, and... well, she can only really think of one answer at the moment, though it takes her several seconds of silence to voice it.* MAYBE... THE BEGINNING? MEULIN: I MEAN. OF... HOW IT ALL... STARTED. ARANEA: Tell me a8out that. Think 8ack on it, and 8ring whatever memories you can to the surface. *she signs what she knows of that sentence while she preps to explore the thoughts in meulin's head.* MEULIN: UM... OKAY. MEULIN: *She takes a breath, exhales, and stares at a spot on the floor. She's thinking back to her time on Beforus, meeting him for the first time.* IT ALL WAS... *Her lips almost quirk, but in retrospect, it's too sad.* ... LIKE A FURRY TAIL. M33TING HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME. MEULIN: *She can recall that part clearly, at least. Finding him alone in the woods when she was looking for her lusus, pacing like he was lost. She helped guide him out, invited him over, even... And the next few weeks, or months, seemed to go by so fast, before she was leaving the planet with him. So she starts to tell Aranea about that.* ARANEA: *with her fingers pressed to her temples, aranea shuts her eyes and 8egins to pro8e around inside her thoughts. the emotions meulin is transmitting to her are much more intense than they normally would 8e, when she reaches inside those moments, discovering something much deeper and more intimate. 8ut she tries not to 8ecome too distracted 8y that, searching instead for holes in the story, like dark spots in her mind. should she find them, she'll try to uncover them.* MEULIN: *Meulin's mind is almost too easy to penetrate. It should be simple enough to discern that, how her thoughts seem to open up to Aranea's probing, how easily they might bend to her influence. Similarly, she would be able to find how those memories feel... off. And the further along they go, the more altered they seem to get, like blankets strewn over furniture to disguise the shapes.* MEULIN: *First and most obvious would be how Meulin remembers their meeting, and how Aranea's probing gives way to his initial reaction being one of suspicion toward Meulin. The situation in its entirety seemed more like he was guarding something, and much of the time they spent together, fabricated. This, however, is unfortunately the least sinister of the alterations, because it's after he convinced her to leave Beforus that the true atrocities showed.* MEULIN: *It almost starts unfolding all too quickly. Hohepa and the gang of renegade laughsassins, setting up shop on various planets around the universe or capturing other ships and raiding them. Meulin was kept away from most of it at first, probably due to his influence on her not being as strong until later. But by that point, it's too late.* MEULIN: *His puppetry seemed to happen almost whimsically at first -- forcing her to say things for his amusement, do things that were almost harmless, as if it were a game. He forced her to learn to use clubs, like he did, like he believed she should; she spouted off scripture and praise like any good believer. And, eventually, she helped. Eventually, she covered those clubs in the blood of the unrighteous, just the same.* MEULIN: *It's at this point that Meulin herself can't seem to take the rush of memories falling out one after another in her mind, like a floodgate, and what mental defenses she has left spring up to try to bar them back away. Now, she's breathing all too quickly, her gaze distant as she stares at that same spot on the floor, fists pulled close and clenched over her chest.* ARANEA: *the sudden onslaught of mental manipulation, and the emotions it has repressed, as well as what Meulin is currently feeling is enough to knock Aranea straight out of her head. it's horrifying, and even she is left feeling shaken 8y it. she doesn't realize right away that there are tears stinging at the corners of her eyes. was it the empathy, or was it guilt surfacing in light of the effects these a8ilities can have on the mind? whatever the case, aranea is quick to get herself together and look 8ack to her friend, seeing the state she's left in.* ... Meulin? *reaches out to touch her shoulder.* MEULIN: *She doesn't seem to respond immediately, but when she feels the touch, she lurches away, gaze darting to Aranea's face, eyes wide and wild. She shakes her head, starting what's like a half-crawl backwards off of the couch and scrambling herself back against the wall before she can even form the word.* NO...! ARANEA: *she startles at that reaction, feeling a little too 8ewildered to know how to react for a good long moment.* I-- Meulin... It's alright...! *she doesn't think to sign it.* MEULIN: *There is nothing about those words that seem to resonate -- they feel so wrong, everything feels wrong -- and she's sort of scratching in her scramble to find the door, to open it and all but fling herself out, away, to elsewhere.* ARANEA: What are you...? *she finally manages to get herself onto her feet, approaching meulin. she can see she wants to escape, 8ut can she really let her go in a state like this?* Meulin, please... MEULIN: *She can't. She /can't/, and she can't bring herself to focus on Aranea at all, even if she could hear her. It's just too much in her head. She manages to get the door open, and she stumbles through it.* ARANEA: *aranea watches her go, left alone and stock still in the middle of her room, wondering if her "help" was worth it. if it ever really is.*

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"meu. hey, meuz, wake up."

She groaned at the hand nudging her, having expected to wake up on her own, cuddled up to his side and pleasantly sleepy. Instead, the direction she faced was unpleasantly cold.

She rolled over in the grass they had been sleeping in, tucked under a tree on a planet they had never visited before now, and she opened her eyes just enough to peek at the troll sitting up next to her with a smile on his face.

It was still dark, the sky a deep, murky indigo.

"WHAT?" she mumbled, lazily sliding her arms around his waist.

"was talk1ng to the b1rds. 1 want you to see someth1ng," he said, gesturing the words so she could understand.

She took a long, sleepy breath, nuzzling into his hip, one narrowed eye still peering up at him. "...WHAT?"

"you have to come up here w1th me and look."

"BUT IT'S JUST DARK," she protested, her words a languid drawl.

She could see his shoulders shake, see the smile on his face from the way he was snickering at her, then his hands were untangling her grasp on him and gently tugging her upward. "c'mon. prom1se 1t's good."

Another sleepy groan was her initial response, but she eventually conceded to his badgering and hauled herself upright, propping her weight against him.

"WHAT IS IT?" she asked again, squeezing her eyes closed and open again as she warded off her exhaustion.

"r1ght over there."

She squinted in the direction of his gesturing finger. "I DON'T S33 IT."

"wa1t for 1t..." The smile still on his face seemed certain when he glanced at her, so after a moment, she nodded, turning her gaze back to the darkness of the horizon.

The sky remained a sea of black and purple for seconds that turned into minutes, and after a time, she exhaled an impatient breath. She wanted to believe him, but there just wasn't anything to see.

It was the moment she began to consider more seriously the concept of giving up and plopping back down on the grass to reclaim the rest of the night's sleep that she saw a glimmer on the horizon.

Her breath stilled.

The first hints of orange and yellow painted themselves just above the grass, a mere suggestion of the kind of brilliance that encompassed the daytime world, but they weren't the only thing to come. It wasn't what caught her breath. It was in that moment, when the faintest hint of the sun appeared on the horizon, that an array of thousands of impossible colors sprang to life, all twisting and dancing across the sky.

There were intangible rivers and streams of color, shimmering and fluttering, pouring ceaselessly from the wellspring of light and aglow with a celestial radiance. They snaked across the unending canvas above them, always moving but never merging, never faltering, each seeming to possess a life more vigorous than its companion.

"see? th1s 1s 1t," he murmured, seemingly just as breathless as she was.

"WHAT—WHAT IS IT?" she whispered back, glancing, hardly daring to pull her gaze away for a moment.

She could feel his breath against her cheek as he pulled her closer, in his eyes reflected the beauty of a thousand things she had never seen before in her life, might never see again.

"mag1c."