areadingjournal77 - Tumblr blog

[areadingjournal77]

full of holes

[areadingjournal77]

i am really doing great at spoting out problems:

i could not focus, having dieting.

which affect my reading the soviet mind.

what happened when i was young, having diet when in high school, in university, when working at ccb?

what would happen if i did not go diet and just enjoy life? what would i do?

[areadingjournal77]

睡眠，大脑休息是很好的东西。 我睡着睡着 开始懂珍惜自己 been so long that i distain myself as what my mom did to me. i start to think if i am going to be a person like this for a very long time, am i going to distain myself for the rest long time? does it worth it? no

[areadingjournal77]

i gotta figure out my own way: i could not sleep is because that i long for inspring social, connection with human beings. my phone does not provide this. (i could use it as a tool though) i want company. dependable, supportive, wit company.

[areadingjournal77]

i am really happy about this achievement; i successfully have had a whole week of eating healthy, substantially. the best way of my personal life journey, my weight management journey.

[areadingjournal77]

being a dependable friend of myself. encourage myself to put one more step, and see how it goes. just one step.

[areadingjournal77]

记录饮食一周，平稳度过。其实以前跳insanity的时候也录过摄入，我本来应该知道怎样吃符合身体需要。但是来这边后，我不想在饮食上紧绷地活，也因为这边的蛋白质价格比深圳的更负担得起，就开心地想怎么吃怎么吃。

记录前一周，我还在敞开胃口吃饺子，因为折扣买到了每斤大概只要三四块钱的饺子，我买了十二袋。煎蒸煮，狠狠吃了个够，吃到已经不太能尝出来饺子什么味了。那时候一天能吃两三袋，每一顿都能吃一个汤碗的量，一天要吃四顿。当时课业原因，焦虑级也高，书桌没到，心也还没有栖息地。

现在再度关注克重，惊诧地发现自己真的需要的食物其实很有限…不再吃那么多东西后，我甚至觉得有点空虚无聊。也意识到不去计算，真的会被自己的“以为”骗到。不过，更多的还是生活状态的映射，来这边一年都过得非常焦急疲惫，即使一直看医生，身体的感受我还是没有敞开接受和面对。我还是一直在对抗，不够听从身体的信号。

明天开始第二周记录，蔬菜占比1/2的量暂时吃不下，计划只要有一顿吃满1/2就够了。

我心态的成长，我自己都不敢相信。医生说要有氧，我就会跑步和游泳，自己跑，以及用nike app指导练了好几个月，好几个计划。说要举重，我也有全套，走到gym就能举，动作早已学习打磨过多年。我是有备而来的啊。原来过去一个人的时光，我没有辜负，没有虚度。我是储备了一些粮食的。

我的理念也是on track，一个人的时候有一个人能做的事情。我好好珍惜自己的时间了。

[areadingjournal77]

之前的运动 都是为了甩掉 去除一部分东西

怎样以接受自己的心态做这件事？

[areadingjournal77]

i am still self worth. i just could not let the past 10 or more years wasted go.

[areadingjournal77]

it is okay.

[areadingjournal77]

my personal value does not depend on carls approval to like to talk to me.

[areadingjournal77]

做自己最好的朋友

我不是一事无成的 this is not the fact

[areadingjournal77]

i walked in my room, and i closed the door reverse hand. it is the feeling of staying at a hotel; the feeling of calm. heart rests.

i understand why i enjoy staying at a hotel. just to rest heart from my verbally abusing mom.

[areadingjournal77]

i just want a routine. not to buy anything. just a roungine.

running? and tea seem work the best for me.

what time running? how long running?

to the park and back. 2 hours.

[areadingjournal77]

chinese is doomed. they trapped in a coarse environment to do business and live. as long as they get money , they get to

non negotiable commitment

rewards when achieving goals

preparation:

cap, airpots, notes planner,

chatgpt, printed pdf, notebooks

goal setting : review and break

[areadingjournal77]

i can depend on myself w/ resources i have.

i can count on scrolling weibo posts about feminism, and equalitism. m to remind myself working for myself.

[areadingjournal77]

眼里有光了

和在深圳比

甚至不需要特地放光 就是下意识的有光了 我昨晚照镜子了