ari-fitt-blog

[ari-fitt-blog]

Sadly, it's been months since I've updated this thing. And even more sad - more set backs. I'm trying so hard to remain positive and stay strong. People have it worse, I know. Life is hard and it's felt like a never ending fight for the past months.. I know I'm just hard on myself. What can I expect anyways? I'm at war with my own body.. and it sucks. I've been so anxious, depressed. Restless. It'll get better. But I have to make it better.

[ari-fitt-blog]

181.4

I’m not going to lie. I’ve been inconsistent with my dieting. With working out. I probably lost the other 4 lbs from not eating properly. This past week has been stressful as shit to my mind and my body. I’m trying to get in sync with my blood pressure and thyroid. And at the same time trying to be there for my mom. And trying to figure out how to deal with all this extra anxiety. It sucks. I just want to be better. I want to do things the right way. I spent days missing out on meals. Not drinking enough water. I stopped having an appetite. Couldn't eat as much. I get so angry with life. With myself. But I’m pushing so hard for a balance. On another note, the extra 10 lbs I gained from taking these stupid thyroid pills are finally gone. Now it’s just time to keep active to lower my blood pressure back to normal.

[ari-fitt-blog]

More obstacles

I went to urgent care the last night. My anxiety took over me, I think. I was weak, I barely had much appetite the past couple of days because of family situations going on. Barely any sleep. And I just felt completely out of it, not fully there. Checked my blood pressure before the warriors game, and it was ok at first. Shot through the roof after. I'm not sure if it was me.. but I'm sure it went both ways. They sent me home with blood pressure pills. And what do you know? More drowsiness. More time. More adjusting. Idk.. I'm just emotionally drained. I want to be better. On the bright side, Charlie called off to take care of me. And I had enough energy to do laundry while he cleaned the car and the room. After being unmotivated the past couple days I'm glad I was capable of doing that. There's still a lot on my mind though. And a lot going on. This weekend is going to be hard for us all.. and I'm honestly hating the anticipation. I'm hurting. We're all hurting. It's all God's plan though. I have to believe it.

[ari-fitt-blog]

Again

The same month, the past 3 years. I guess it's finally time. I guess this was how it was supposed to happen. I'm heart broken it had to come the way it did, but I hope throughout it all, you become better and most importantly, live your life again. I love you mom. We will get through it.

[ari-fitt-blog]

Idk

How tf I used to meal prep before bc I can't even handle eating this anymore 😭😭 Broccoli is nasty maaaaayne.

[ari-fitt-blog]

What ppl don't realize is you have to ease into things. You can't quit alcohol and cigarettes, quit your bad eating habits and then start going hard at the gym ALL AT ONCE. You're just setting yourself up for defeat. Cut down on drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes first, and then slowly make your way down to zero. Slowly start making better eating choices, and then sooner or later - it's no longer a choice. You can't expect your body to just switch up on lifestyles the next day. The more time you take to transition, the more impact it'll have on you.

[ari-fitt-blog]

185.4

In the madness of trying to be healthy, to just trying to get something in my system - I still manage to maintain a 4lb deficit through it all - without going to the gym. It's been 2 inconsistent weeks.. I've avoided the scale for 5 days because I was scared I was only losing the very little progress I've made. Why do I doubt myself? It's all a process, baby girl.

[ari-fitt-blog]

It's been 5 days

I finally started my meds again after being advised not to take them (after 3 days tho, I decided to wait another 2) I felt a little nauseous 😓 But the past days before that, weren't as bad. I had more energy. Charlie took me shopping and we walked around Ikea and the Stanford shopping center :) I actually moved the bed around the other day too. It's Monday now, 1:54am to be exact. Today I'll restart my diet after having fluctuating appetites the past how many weeks. We'll see how I do on these damn readjusted meds. And hopefully, I could go back to my noobily active self. I just want to be better. And all these set backs got me feeling like the world is against me 🙄 Gotta suck it up.

[ari-fitt-blog]

Hyper to hypo

For the past couple weeks I've been dreading from fatigue, muscle weakness, and migraines. To think that I was going out of shape and not drinking water, unfortunately that wasn't the case.. though I would have much rather it have been. My thyroid levels have gone too low and I took too long to realize :( Sigh. It's going to be a couple weeks before I start feeling back to normal. Sometimes I wake up and can't even cook myself breakfast. Trying to stay healthy through it all but all I want is the closest thing of reach. I fell asleep at 730pm yesterday.. til 5am. I've pulled muscles just by turning over. I'm so out of it. This is literally what being a grandma feels like bc my mind wants to do all these things but my body won't let me :( Gonna try to stick to my diet and stay positive.. it's not working though. I just took a bite of my tres leches again lmao. But at least I'm doing all these moderately!! I won't lose sight. The only thing I could do is try better :) the gym unfortunately will just have to wait for the next couple weeks. And school :( It always feels like a set back.. but what can I do. I'll just take the next 7 weeks as recovery.

[ari-fitt-blog]

It's Tuesday

Me and Charlie had an argument yesterday so he decided to come home with caramel tres leches cake. And then we ate spaghetti. And some Hawaiian chips. So there's that. 😂 Sigh. Today will be better and cleaner. I didn't make it out to the gym yesterday either because I was so cold the whole day. Hoping my hypo symptoms kick back to normal soon :(

[ari-fitt-blog]

189.4

Today is the start of my second week of my diet. Although I have been quit flexible the past week, I did manage to drop 5 lbs. I am now at 184.4 after dieting and only doing cardio for 2 days out of the week. I’ve been starting off slow. My body has gone into hypo-thyroid so my I’ve been quite weak the past 14 days. But. I still managed to drop weight, despite the fact that I haven’t been drinking as much water as I should lol. My stomach has felt so weird but I’m convinced this is how I’m supposed to feel when I’m not bloating :) I’m trying so hard to be positive. 5lbs. It’s only the beginning.