aro-pancake-writes

[aro-pancake-writes]

Hi,

It’s your friendly neighbor fanfic author here. In the light of this apparent new trend of people feeding unfinished fics to AI to get an “ending,” and some people even talking about “blanket permissions,” let me just say this:

I EXPLICITLY FORBID ANYONE TO FEED MY FICS TO AI. DUDE, THAT IS ABOUT THE LEAST RESPECTFUL THING YOU CAN DO. IF YOU DO IT, SHALL YOU BE EXCOMMUNICATED FROM YOUR FANDOM AND WALK ON LEGOS BAREFOOT TILL THE END OF DAYS.

That is my anti-permission.

Thank you for your attention.

[aro-pancake-writes]

Oh no. The wine is working.

Here, have one more before I really disappear for the foreseeable future! Don't blame me for the feels.

And once again, thank you @silent-moons-camp for the courage to post! Love you, dragonling! :3

The Waltz of Jealousy

Wyll prances around the camp, dancing to the sounds of the night when Arkul approaches. He watches, as Wyll takes graceful steps with ease, unaware of anything else.

“Oh! I didn't see you there.” Wyll stops, looking up at Arkul with a lovely smile. “I'm just brushing up on my steps. Wouldn't want to disappoint my new partner.”

Arkul wonders who he might be talking about, before remembering a conversation, after they left the Emerald Grove with the tieflings, during that party at camp.

“You couldn't disappoint, Wyll, even if you wanted to.” He laughs, getting a shy smile from Wyll.

“I know some people who might disagree.” He says, before turning back to Arkul with a big smile. “Anyway, can I have this dance?” He offers a hand, that Arkul takes gladly.

Wyll's steps are, indeed, graceful. Worthy of a man of his standing in life. Regardless of a couple close calls with Arkul's tail.

As Wyll stops, Arkul takes over, wrapping his tail along his leg and doing some more elaborate steps. He can still hear his old dance instructor's voice, as if he's just a kid back at the temple, telling him to keep the tail somewhere it won't bother him nor his partner.

“Very good!” Wyll laughs, and Arkul bows. “Maybe we can try something more… intimate?” He offers Arkul his hand, pulling the dragonborn to a waltz.

No words are spoken, nor needed. They're comfortable, following the familiar steps until they're both kneeling on the ground.

Wyll leans in, getting closer, eyes begging for more. And Arkul looks away. Turning his face away from Wyll, eyes downcast, as the thought of doing anything with anyone else makes his stomach churn and his heart beat cold.

“I can't, Wyll.” He says, getting to his feet and offering the warlock a hand up. “It's…”

“It's all right.” Wyll tries to deflect, but Arkul can still see the way his heart is broken. “Thank you. For the dance, I mean.” Wyll's words come out way too quickly.

“Wyll…” Arkul tries, but Wyll starts to walk backwards, headed to his tent.

“I think we better go to sleep.” He says, all but running off.

Arkul lets out a heavy breath. Despite not having feelings, at least like this, about Wyll, he also didn't want to hurt him.

Releasing his tail, he heads off to his tent, a soft smile playing on his lips as he thinks of Gale, and the moments they shared a couple nights prior, reaching into the weave to find him. 

But he finds nothing. Desperately reaching through the parasite, Arkul finds Gale's mind closed to him, and a small flash of the wizards tent.

Turning on his heels, he takes determined steps towards Gale's tent. He enters it, not bothering to announce himself, to find Gale curled up in his bedroll and holding tight to Scratch. 

The dog looks up, giving Arkul a scolding look before leaving. 

“Gale?” Arkul tries, sitting next to him. His tail instinctively wrapping on Gale's leg. “What's wrong, dearest? The orb bothering you again?”

There's no response, just a firm grip on his tail, pulling it away.

“Why are you here?” Gale finally asks, voice cutting like ice and eyes glossy and out of focus.

“Why wouldn't I?” Arkul retorts, worry leaking through his voice. Gale has never been anything but sweet with him, even when the Orb was draining his energy, making him tired and irritable. 

“Because you should be in Wyll's tent right now!” Gale whisper-shouts, not wanting the whole camp to hear them, sitting up to look into the dragonborns eyes. “So, I'll ask you again, Arkul, why are you here?”

“So that's what's going on.” Arkul smiles, leaning forward to be closer to Gale, taking in the wizards smell of books, coffee and the sweetness of magic. “I'm here because I want to be with you.” He finally states, standing his ground.

“And risk getting blown up?” Gale lets out a cold laugh. “Instead of getting laid with someone who-”

Arkul leans in, kissing Gale's lips in an attempt to make him shut up. When they part, is to find heavy tears running down Gales cheeks.

“I rather have a kiss from you and blow up, than kiss anyone else and live. Any time.” Arkul says, cleaning up Gale's tears. 

“Even after dancing with Wyll? After kissing him?” Gale questions, still tasting the snow on his lips from their kiss.

“I didn't kiss him.” Arkul shrugs. “He wanted to, but my heart is already taken.”

“You… didn't? With the way you were dancing?” Gale sniffles, looking up at Arkul. “The way he was looking at you… I thought that…”

“Let's just say, he was calling in on an old promise. It was just a dance.” Arkul wraps his arms on Gale's waist, pulling them to lay down and nuzzling at his neck and getting a proper laugh out of Gale's lips. “And, if you ever doubt me again, remember that it's not anyone who can touch my tail.” He says, moving his tail so that the arrow like tip is within Gales reach.

Gale takes on the offer, taking hold of the tail, and feeling the slight shudder that goes through Arkul's body.

“So there's something like tail etiquette that I should be aware of?” Gale dares, playing with the tip and enjoying how it makes Arkul melt. 

“Yes, that's a thing.” Arkul purrs, sliding a hand under Gale's shirt and feeling for his belly, the hairs going up his chest and down to his pants, enjoying the softness of everything about Gale. “But the most important thing you need to know right now, is that touching ones tail is the most intimate way of touching, even more so than sex.”

“Wait, what?” Gale lets go of Arkul's tail as if it burns, getting a sad whine in response, as Arkul all but shoves the tail back into his hands.

“It's something personal. Reserved for loved ones.” Arkul sighs, falling beside Gale. “Touching someone's tail without intimacy is…” He shudders at the memory. The other kids at the orphanage, before he was taken to the temple, pulling and tugging at his tail, some even going for the horns.

“It's that bad, huh?” Gale smiles softly at Arkul, holding on gently to his tail, feeling the trust and… maybe even love as the dragonborn smiles at him. 

“I didn't know why, or it could feel good, until that night when you…” Arkul looks into Gales eyes, sad and uncertain.

Gale still remembers it, not two nights ago, when his old master came by and stabilized his orb, giving him a mission he now is uncertain about his want to fulfil.

He remembers how he found himself crying against the dragonborns chest, then in a sudden burst of courage, asking to touch his horns. Asking to feel his scales. And all that was asked of him in return was to stop considering Mystra's request. To reject it.

“I have thought about it, you know?” Gale says, hiding in Arkul's chest, taking in the scent of musk and snow. “I still don't have a proper decision, but… maybe, there's more to live for.” He tries, but can't keep the uncertainty out of his voice. 

“That so?” Arkul asks him playfully. “Like what?”

“Tara. And my library. There's so much there that I haven't read yet. And good nights, by the fireplace, a bottle of passable wine, a book, and…” Gale places a gentle hand on Arkul's jaw, making him look down. “Maybe, someone to share it with?”

“That sounds nice.” Arkul says, cuddling up against Gale, tail going back to wrap up on his calf possessively. “Anyone in mind to share those nights with?”

“I don't know…” Gale says, letting the jest show in his voice. “Maybe, a prideful stubborn dragonborn, who lets me touch his tail, and is currently holding me too tight to breathe!” He laughs, as Arkul lets go slightly.

“I'd like to share nights like that with you.” Arkul whispers, smiling. “They sound perfect.”

Gale closes his eyes, imagining how it would be. Arkul resting on his favourite bench, back in his tower in Waterdeep, while he leans against the dragonborns massive chest, reading a book. Arkuls hands gently caressing him, feeling for every strand of hair along his body. There's the gentle purr that comes whenever Arkul is… happy. With him. 

But the image is cut off. Replaced by him and Wyll dancing in the fire light. Arkuls scales reflecting the light and almost making him look golden.

“Oh, dearest, what's wrong?” Arkul cleans up Gale's tears, gently nuzzling at his neck. 

“It's hard. To not let myself relive that moment. Seeing you dancing. It's…” Gale takes a deep breath. “I'm sure it'll pass. I may just need some time.”

“No. Don't.” Gale holds him. “I need… reassurance? That you're here, and if I can be as bold, maybe even mine.”

“If you want me to, I can go.” Arkul moves to leave, tail unwrapping from Gale's leg.

[aro-pancake-writes]

I'm back, I think...

Been a while, but now I'm playing BG3 and completely in love with a certain wizard. I think it has something to do with the dorkiness.

Anyway, I did a write! \o/

And there's also my OC! Arkul, a rather stubborn silver dragonborn paladin.

Thank you, @silent-moons-camp for the courage to post it!

Divine Defiance

Elminster was here.

He came by their camp. He ate their best cheese and drank their best wine.

And he told Gale to kill himself to earn Mystra’s forgiveness.

Arkul huffs, tail shaking in sharp movements as he gets up from his tent and goes to the furthest corner of their camp.

As luck would have it, Lae'zel was practicing earlier, so there's a training dummy here, that Arkul promptly starts to punch and claw at.

He sees her in this dummy. Her smug smile, her emotionless eyes, her pretty face as she sent someone else to deliver a message like that. She didn't even have the courage to show up!

He can see his claws digging into her chest, carving out her heart as a gift to Gale. As proof of his own love, he'll give him her heart, the thing he wanted for so long but she could never part with.

He keeps at it, until there's not much more than a pile of rags, straw and splinter, and a soft hand on his back. Arkul turns, breathless, to find Gale. He looks like he's been crying, scared and not the ever optimistic he said himself to be when they got the news.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you.” He starts, hands fidgety as he looks away. “I didn't want to be alone.”

Not thinking, Arkul jumps at Gale, pulling him to a tight hug. He purrs as they fall to their knees, finding a comfortable position to hold… not his wizard. He's still Mystra's.

“You're never alone, little one.” Arkul says, wishing he could kiss and comfort Gale properly.

“Not when you have something to say about it?” Gale laughs, a weak and half hearted laugh, before it dies to give place to his curious eyes. Gale's hands start to wander on Arkul's scales, feeling for the texture and hardness of the scales and muscles beneath. “Can I touch your horns?” He asks, bluntly, earning a chuckle.

“Only you can. But…” Arkul looks around, to where one too many tents are lit in the night. “Not here. No one will get a good night's sleep today.”

They get up, headed to Arkul's tent.

Once inside, Arkul is the first to sit down, offering Gale a hand to help him sit, guiding him to straddle his hips.

“Where, specifically, are you curious about?” Arkul whispers once Gale is comfortable.

“The chest plates, how they're bigger and seem polished…” Gale says, hands gently touching Arkul's chest. “Your face, the horns and plating on your forehead…” And he does.

His fingers move slowly, going from the turquoise tips of his ram like horns all the way to their silver roots, where they meet the smaller horns on the top of his head. He follows those, up and down again, feeling for the sharp plates on his forehead, moving down to his snout and lips, where he…

Arkul closes his eyes, shrugging off the mental image of them kissing, of the mutual touching. To feed Gale's curiosity like this feels more intimate, caring and sensual than any lover Arkul's ever been with.

He can feel the way his tail is tightly wrapped around Gale's calf, almost if possessively. And so can Gale.

He expertly wraps his arms around Arkul's waist, feeling for where the tail starts, getting a weak whimper from the Dragonborn. So, he continues. Feeling the smooth hard scales, gently coaxing his calf free from the tip.

“Wait…” Arkul pants, gently tugging his tail from Gale's hands as he reaches the tip. “Please. It's…” From the way he's looking, breathless, eyes hazy, legs trembling… one could think that…

“It's sensitive?” Gale asks, feeling a playful smirk on his lips as an idea forms. “You know that the orb is stable now, right? We can be together.”

“Not like this.” Arkul suddenly has his composure back, ripping his tail from Gale's hands. “I'm not getting together with you, just so you can have a last hurrah before-” The words choke on his throat. He can't utter them. Not like this. So he takes in a deep breath and blink away the tears forming in his eyes. “So, if we're gonna do this, please tell me you're not really considering that.”

Gale looks away. Ashamed.

“Can I at least sleep on it?” He tries to get up, to leave, but Arkul's arms are like steel on his waist.

“Yes, dearest.” Arkul pulls them both to lay down on his bed roll, keeping Gale close against his chest. “But not without a small taste of all you'd be missing. All the cuddles at night, the lovely walks in the moonlight, the-” His voice breaks again.

He doesn't have him. He doesn't have Gale. Not yet. And he's about to lose him, for Mystra.

“The kisses?” Gale asks, leaning to place a gentle peck on the Dragonborns snout. “The hugs? The love?” Arkul nods slightly, still stunned by the kiss. “You're not letting me sleep in my own bed tonight, are you?”

“No. You're staying here, where I know you won't do anything stupid.” He tightens his grip, ensuring Gale won't be able to go.

“Me? Stupid?” Gale laughs, real amusement playing in his eyes. “Guess I do have a track record for it, right? Falling for the goddess of magic, the orb, being taken by Mind Flayers…”

“Falling for me.” Arkul mutters. It's been common knowledge in the camp for a while now, their feelings. If even Lae'zel commented on it, it's pretty obvious to everyone else.

“No. That…” Gale smiles, placing a kiss on Arkul's lips, making him purr. “That was the smartest thing I did in a while.”

“Look, I'm…” Arkul opens his arms, looking away. “If you don't want to be here tonight, you can-”

His words are cut by Scratch and the owlbear cub making their way into the tent, and laying down next to them, promptly falling asleep.

“How could I ever leave now?” Gale curls up against Arkul's chest, smiling softly. “This is the most comfortable place ever.”

Arkul feels relief flooding his chest as Gale lays on his shoulder, an arm draped across his stomach, as his tail wraps back on Gale's calf possessively.

Arkul turns off the lantern, smiling to himself.

“I am- was- considering using the orb to keep everyone safe.” Gale whispers in the darkness. “To keep you safe.”

“Even if I can't see a bright future for myself without you in it?” Arkul says, turning on his side to see Gale's face.

“But you'd still have a future.” His voice breaks, bringing a hand up to cradle the Dragonborns chin, gently avoiding the sharp edges. “Another chance at love maybe. And if we don't find another way, I wish I could go knowing that…” he stops, looking anywhere but the turquoise green orbs that seem to glow in the dark. “That at least someone I loved could love me back.”

Arkul leans down, touching his forehead to Gales. His hands go to the wizards soft hair, gently combing it back as he feels the silky strands.

“We will find another way. We'll get rid of the Absolute without sacrifice.” He states, firm in his belief. “And, if anything happens to you, I'll find a way to bring you back.”

“No! Please. What about your oath? You can't meddle in affairs of life and death.” Gale starts to panic. Arkuls paladin oath, to the ancient gods…

“It won't matter. Not if I can't hold you like this again.” Arkul lets out a deep breath, closing his eyes as a growl threatens to leave his chest. “The gods will have to understand it, deal with it, accept that there's nothing for me here without you, and no one can stop me from getting you back.”

Gale dares a weak smile, hands moving to grip on Arkul's horns. The dragonborn opens his eyes, suddenly hungry and desperate.

“And what would you do, to get me back?” Gale asks, feeling his confidence rising with the way Arkul looks at him.

“You wouldn't want to know. You wouldn't like it.” He says, tail tightening on Gales leg, as if that alone is capable of stopping him from doing it.

“Maybe I do.” Gale smiles, coaxing Arkul back by the horns, enjoying the power he has over someone much bigger and stronger with something as simple as this. “What would you do? Who would you hunt?”

“First,” he relents, “I'd go after Mystra. And carve out her heart as retaliation for what she did to you. And keep her alive to see it all.” Gale can't help the shudder of fear running through his veins, fear for anyone stupid enough to stand in Arkul's path, keeping him from his vengeance. “Then, after any god of death that will let me bring you back, just the way you are now. Not like the monstrosity that Mayrina got. This, nice, and soft, and pure in a unique way that only you can be.”

“And what if they deny you? If they tell you that you can only have me with your own death?” Gale dares, unsure if he wants to know more, but his curiosity getting the better of him.

“Then, if I have to, I'll go grab you in the afterlife. Bring you home, back to your tower, where we can live happily, have lovely nights in, sitting with a book by the fireplace, having some wine, while Tara naps nearby.” Arkul finishes with plans made long ago in quiet lonely nights. Plans that once seemed like a real future now feel like an unreachable dream.

Gale watches him silently, looking for any doubt, any fear or hesitation in the dragonborns glowing eyes. He finds none. Only certainty, determination, and devotion. But then it falters. It all crackles down to reveal sorrow as Arkul lets go of his waist, his tail unwraps from his leg, and he pushes off, almost like Gale could burn him.

“I told you. It's not a pretty plan. It's not a path I'd like to take, but one I'm willing to go through.” Arkuls breath falters. “I understand if you want to go. Maybe someone else could be a better source of comfort than me.”

“I'm not going.” Gale sits up, straddling Arkul's hips and grabbing his tail. “No one ever made me such promises. And, I would be lying if I said I wouldn't do the same for you. No matter the cost.” He lays back on Arkuls chest, fingers running lightly over the sensitive tail tip, getting a restrained growl in response. His lips turn into a gentle smile, feeling again for that power to control his own dragon.

“So, now what?” Arkul asks, feeling their connection strengthen.

“Now, I enjoy the perfect temperature of your body, and go to sleep. And, if we're lucky, we'll meet in the weave again.” Gale closes his eyes, still holding on to Arkuls tail.

Arkul laughs, letting himself be taken by sleep. He has Gale in his arms. His Gale now, even if neither is ready to admit yet.

[aro-pancake-writes]

What? Me? Two wips in a row?

Yup! The plot bunnies are breeding like... Well, bunnies! And the Creatikitty that hunts them is doing his job.

So, yay! \o/

Tag list? @eridanidreams @silent-moons-camp @silurisanguine @aislingdmdt @atonalginger

Back to Mars

Mars. Out of all the backwater dreadful places in the galaxy, this is the worst one. Hector spent almost ten years in the deep mines, and then some in Cydonia.

Not that the company wasn't great.

“Why are we here again?” Sam asks as they step out of the trade authority to go downstairs to the Sixth Circle.

“Hadrian needs someone who worked with her before. And he's here.” Hector says, taking the stairs instead of the elevator. “Hope this will be a straight forward job.” He comments, finally on the ground.

As they go around to enter the bar, a familiar voice is hard.

“As I live and breathe.” Hector looks to the source, finding Trevor heading his way, smiling at him. “Thought you said you'd never set foot on this rock again, pet.”

“Didn't really mean to.” He says, crossing his arms over his stomach.

When he left, Hector didn't say goodbye. He didn't want to be held back, to consider staying in Cydonia.

But nothing about Trevor's posture says he holds a grudge.

“So, what changed?” He asks Hector, stopping close to him, with a gentle smile and open arms.

“Some things… a lot, actually.” Hector starts, taking a shy step towards Trevor.

Only to be stopped by a loud cough behind him.

“Oh, right!” He takes a hasty step back, working on how to introduce them. “Sam, this is Trevor. We… worked together here on Mars.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” Sam says, cold, before turning back to Hector. “I'll wait for you inside. Apparently you two got a lot to catch up on.”

With that, Sam is gone.

“What stick has he got up his arse?” Trevor asks, making Hector turn back to him. “Not yours, I hope.” There's a sly smile, a small glimmer of hope that things could work out again.

“Too far up my league.” Hector tries to laugh it off. Yet, he can't help but notice the curious glance from Trevor.

“Come on, pet.” He offers Hector his best smile, one he knew to always work. “If anyone's out of someone's league here it's you.”

“And here you go, dragging me back to your quarters…” Hector laughs, leaning closer to Trevor, who hugs him.

“Haven't lost my charms over you, have I, Pet?” Hector trembles as Trevor says the pet name, blood leaving his brain and going to other parts of his body.

His pants are tight, and they both know there's only one way of fixing this.

“Trevor, please…” Hector almost moans, peeling himself from Trevor's arms. “Not now. I'm here on business.”

“You look so pretty when you're all about business.” Trevor smiles, one last attempt at working his charms before turning back to return to work. “If you wanna, Pet, my quarters are still the same and you know what time I leave. Why don't you pay me a visit once you're done with your ‘business’?”

Giggling, Hector fixes his pants, ties his jacket around his waist and heads into the bar.

Lou wasn't of much help. Not with the Trade Authority on top of their mark. Only one small glimmer of hope, but it requires the deep mines.

Killing spacers is often a relief, but not if it means that people will be back to work in this hellhole.

Hector cusses all the way to the entrance, anger taking over as he mumbles to himself.

“So…” Sam's voice cuts off his latest string of curses. “Who was that?”

“I told you.” Hector says, turning his scanner on and off again to have something to do with his hands. “We worked together here on Mars. He was a friend, and then I left.”

“Just a friend?” Hector feels the ice shards on Sam's voice when he speaks, and confirms. “Because last I checked, friends don't call eachother ‘pet’.”

Hector turns back to Sam, seeing red. As much as the former miner found himself fond of the cowboy, that wasn't exactly a subtle question.

“Fine. We used to fuck, ok?” Hector says, a seductive smile playing on his lips. “We would go to his quarters after a long shift, where he'd toss me on his bed and fuck me until we were both too exhausted to move. That what you wanted to hear? Or would you like to do something similar with me?”

[aro-pancake-writes]

WIP Wednesday! \o/

And I finally have something to post! Bonus, my new OC!

He's my baby boy, Hector. Yes, like the prince of Troy, because I still have Epic playing on loop in my head.

Anywho, enjoy me breaking my character like a glow stick!

Night was falling as Hector noticed the storm approaching. The Frontier too far to reach right now, so he opened his scanner to look for shelter. And luck was on his side today.

“Got something?” Sam asks, making him startle.

“Yeah. A cave, not far from here.” He says, making his way there. A short comm to warn the Frontier that they found shelter and would wait out the storm, and they're inside.

It's as cold as outside, but at least they're protected from the wind here.

Hector pulls out the sleeping bag and heater from his bag, setting up a makeshift camp.

“Hey, can I bend your ear for a moment?” Sam says, making Hector look up curious and hopeful.

“Sure.” He says, bringing his hands closer to the heater.

“There's something I gotta tell you, about my past.” Hector's hope deflates. “I… uhm… had a really dark spot in my youth.”

“I know.” Hector finally says something. When will they be this alone again?

“No, I mean, it's not like ‘we all did things we regret’ issue. It's-” Sam tries to articulate and explain himself. The new member of Constellation being a riddle wrapped in a mystery to him. “My father set me up with a job and-”

“I know, Sam.” Hector tries again, this time stronger. “I was there. I was born in Neon. Spent most of my life there.”

“But I'm not-” Hector gets up, pacing around the cave.

“You don't remember me, do you?” He says, squaring up to Sam. Upon seeing the confusion in the blue eyes, he chuckles. “Of course not. How could you?”

“What do you mean, Hector?” Sam looks back at Hector's red eyes, a proof of his time on Mars, hoping to find anything. Only to find heartbreak and tears.

“I was nineteen years old back then. Black hair, no tattoos, no beard, and my eyes were green.” He pulls the emerald Sam gave him the other day from his pocket. “You showed me how to enjoy my life, what it felt like to be loved and cared for. And what true heartbreak feels like.”

Sam scours his mind, the deep dark corners of his memory, only to find a spot of light. It was warm, and safe.

“How could I have broken your heart?” He asks, watching as the bigger man falls to the ground in a boneless heap.

“You promised me you'd take me away from that place. That I'd never have to go back unless I wanted to.” His once booming voice now a barely audible whisper. “You said you just had to finish that trip, and then you'd come back to get me, that you'd show me the stars. And I was foolish enough to believe you'd keep that promise, to actually wait, and hope that you'd come back for me.” Hector cleans up his tears on the sleeve of his coat, trying to find anything to distract himself. It's been fifteen years. It shouldn't hurt like this anymore, but it did.

Sam can't bring himself to say anything. Hector had seemed almost unbreakable when they first met. An unyielding tank, strong enough to protect those he cared for. And to now see such man so small and crying on the floor of a random cave…

Sam wanted to run. To find somewhere empty enough he could scream at his younger self.

He made a promise, one that he couldn't keep. There's a small voice on the back of his head, one that he knows too well: Lillian.

You don't need anyone else right now, she said, I'm right here with you, Sam. You don't need to go back to Neon. There's nothing left for you there.

The memory, being in stupor of going cold turkey, the feverish dreams, the tight hand on his…

Only to be replaced by laughs shared in bed, the neon lights coming in from the window of the room, a heavy warm body pressed against his as they rest. There's movement, and he's faced with emerald green eyes and black hair. On his lips, a genuine smile, followed by the scars on his cheeks.

It couldn't be Hector. He's… different. Broken. With turquoise hair and red eyes. And he doesn't have the forced smile scars.

Hector feels a warm hand place a blanket over his shoulders, and dares to look up to find Sam sitting down next to him.

“I didn't want to remember that time.” He finally said, removing his hat. “But there's one other thing I got to know.”

Hector cleans up his final tears. He knows what's coming. The one thing he clearly had as his own defining feature back then.

“I have a beard to hide the scars.” He mumbles, bringing his face closer to the light so he could show Sam the still present smile on his cheeks, before forcefully getting up. “Look, Sam, it's been a long time, ok? I don't want to force you into anything you're uncomfortable with. I don't even know why I'm still broken about this.”

“Hector, I'm-” Sam stutters. Maybe looking to apologize or make up excuses, but he can't go on.

“It's late, and I'm tired. Can we please just go to sleep for now?” Before waiting for an answer, Hector toes off his boots, removes his coat, and lays down on his sleeping bag.

Sam watches him attentively. The way the shirt latched on to Hector's skin, showcasing his strength and power, made Sam's stomach fall.

He wanted to be caught in those arms, yes, but at the same time, he could have had it for years now, if only he kept his promise.

Following in on Hector's example, Sam also goes to bed, finding himself unable to sleep properly. His dreams are haunted with emerald green turning to bright red.

Sam wakes up, guilt eating him up inside as the cold settles on his bones. The light of the heater gone almost out in their sleep.

Across from him, he can hear a sniffle.

“You ok?” Sam asks, hoping to get Hector to turn.

“Peachy.” Hector hisses, curling up in himself. “Just cold.”

Not really thinking, Sam gets up, moving to Hector's sleeping bag.

“Let me in with you.” He says, and Hector finally turns to him. “We can keep eachother warm, ok? Now move, I'm freezing my ass out here.”

Processing, Hector tries to occupy as little room as possible, watching as Sam dexterously enters the sleeping bag with him.

He never thought they'd be this close again, sharing the same air as Sam curls himself against his chest. Unsure, Hector wraps his arms around Sam's waist, pulling him closer.

“How long did you wait?” Sam finally asks.

“Three years, four months and seventeen days.” Hector says, eyes lost in the emptiness behind Sam. “Not like I was counting, you know.” He shrugs it off, like he wasn't a mess about it minutes ago. “But I got out on a contract to mine on Mars. Apparently, my size made me a good choice.” And that explains the red eyes.

“I'm sorry I don't remember you.” Sam whispers, enjoying the oddly familiar warmth and comfort.

“I shouldn't expect you to.” Hector's grip on Sam loosens. “It's been too long. You got married and had a kid since. Not like a fling while high would be of importance to you in the long scheme.”

“It wasn't just a fling, thought. Was it?” Sam pokes the bear, leaning closer and almost brushing his lips to Hector's. “You wouldn't react like that if it was.”

“I was a kid, Sam.” Hector tries to pull away, but is caught in the edge of the sleeping bag, tapping him in place. “Anything is way bigger in a kids head.”

“I'm only a year older than you.” Sam clocks an eyebrow, getting closer to Hector. “And a fling wouldn't hurt so much this long after it.”

Trapped, he does the only thing he can. Use of his size and strength to turn the tables.

“Maybe,” he says, taking Sam's wrist in his hand, “it was the broken promise that hurt.” Hector turns, pinning Sam under him with his weight. “Or the fact that when you didn't come back for me, I spent all my free time waiting for you, wondering if you had said it as pillow talk or I wasn't worth the effort. Can you imagine what it felt like, Sam? To believe you're stuck in your personal hell because you're not good enough to be saved?”

“Yes. I know.” Sam finally spits back, fighting against the hands restraining him. “That's why I allowed myself to fall in Neon. And then I was proven wrong! That's why I never went back!”

That's enough for Hector, feeling as all he had left of his heart breaking. He lets go of Sam's arms, turning his back to the man next to him.

“Good to know it's just me.” He says, cutting off the subject.

He can hear Sam mumbling, before wrapping his hands on Hector's waist.

“I wish I remembered you back then.” He hears, feeling the light caress where his shirt escapes his pants. “I wish I wasn't so high that I could forget about you. But there's nothing we can do about the past, so maybe, we can try the future?”

[aro-pancake-writes]

Wait...

It's Wednesday? Ooh!

It's time!

WIP Wednesday!

It's a short one, as it came with a small burst of creativity and energy last night. And thank you to @atonalginger for the laughs and ideas!

Bonus: I finally made a new OC! Her name is Penelope (yes, because of Odysseus wife), the pronouns are she/her, and she's Charlie's little sister.

[title TBD]

“My darling Penelope…” Delgado says, pulling his lover closer to his side, and giving her a kiss.

“Del, what are you doing?” Penny giggles at the care. He's so different when they're alone, and she revels in the attention he has only for her.

“Caring for my lady, as usual.” He offers her a chocolate lab, that Penny takes a generous bite off.

She couldn't be more entranced and in love.

Del gently tucks her black hair behind her ear, pulling her for a proper passionate kiss, when the shooting starts outside his door.

He barely has the time to stop and turn when the door opens and a looming figure stands at the passage.

“Penelope, that's the last straw.” They say, stepping in.

The bright pink hair is unknown, but there's something about their eyes as they look at Penny, something tired, above all.

“But Charlie…” Penny tries to argue, only to be held by the arm and pulled away. She can hold on to the bedsheets and wrap it around her body before getting out, thankfully.

“No buts, Penny.” Charlie drags her through the Key, towards their ship. “I told you a million times already, do not get involved with those pirates.”

“You only care because your husband has a big name, Charlie.” Penny argues and digs her heels on the floor. She knows that her sibling cares about her safety, but the way they do it is borderline extreme.

“Penny, I swear to… whatever there is out there.” Charlie tugs at her again.

“That's it.” Delgado appears, behind them, and grabs Penny by the waist, safely away from her captor.

“Oh, don't you start, pirate boy.” Charlie mocks, pulling out their Deadeye. “Give me back my sister, and I'll let you live.” The gun goes straight to Del's face.

In this moment, Penny notices three things:

First, Del is barely dressed, probably due to rushing in after them.

Second, whatever pirates are within range to see them, are hidden wherever they can. In fear of Charlie or Del, she doesn't know

And finally, that they're near Jazz’s. Naeva and Jazz are sitting at Jazz’s table, watching with absolute focus and curiosity, while eating some… popcorn?

“And what if she wants to stay, huh?” Del questions Charlie, who in turn leans over the side to look down at Penny.

“My sister. My responsibility.” Charlie says, cocking their gun and maintaining eye contact with Penny. “You, to the ship. And you, Delgado, if I feel in the force that you're anywhere near Penny, I'll castrate you myself.”

Charlie grabs Penny one more time, and manages to toss her over their shoulder.

“Why, you brute!” Penny screeches, pounding at her siblings back. “I can walk by myself!”

“Penny, I will not tell you again to stay away from him.” Charlie sighs, stepping into their ship and locking the door, while telling Sam to undock.

[aro-pancake-writes]

Here is a Starfield fanfic I wrote about a beloved NPC, Frank Renick. So if you're interested in some fluffy smut about our favorite surly Colony War veteran, happy Valentines Day!! 💝 💕

Here's our boy 😍💜

[aro-pancake-writes]

I finished it!

(almost) everything I wanted to say to Lillian. It's finally done!

Happening during Matters of the Hart, so some mild spoilers for it.

Tw: violence, deadnaming, language.

Truths to the Heart

"We don't have time to ask for backup." Lillian says, and Charlie gets up from their seat in a rage.

From the first time Sam told them about her, Charlie knew they wouldn't like her, but they put up their good face and deflect the subject.

But this is the end of their patience for that woman.

Cora stands at the door to the bridge, ready to butt in on Sam and Lillian's argument. Charlie sees her, and goes straight to her.

"Here kiddo, take this, go to my quarters and close the doors." They give her a music player and send her off. There's no argument as she understands that things are about to get ugly here.

They wait for the door to the bridge to close before stepping between Sam and Lillian.

"Enough." Charlie says, pushing Lillian away from Sam. "You, shut your hypocrite hole." They point at Lillian, anger stewing in their voice. "Sam, darling," they turn to him, calm and with a gentle smile, "I love you, and please don't be mad at me."

He looks at them confused for a second, as Charlie turns back to Lillian.

"Lils, dearest," they make their best overly sweet voice and put on a large smile, "don't you fucking dare to say shit."

"What do you know?" She scowls at them, crossing her arms ready for a fight. "And you can't call me that."

"It's my ship. I'll call you whatever the fuck I want to call you." It's becoming harder to maintain the smile. "If you want to not call backup, as per your own sayings, we'll drop Cora by at New Atlantis."

"We don't have the time! The Syndicate will–" Charlie cuts her off by raising a finger, smile dying as they stand up taller.

"Then you won't ever again bother us for taking Cora along. You won't ever again say anything about her tagging along. Ever." Lillian opens and closes her mouth like a fish. "You'll shut up until I drop you off back on Neon, so you can try to gaslight and bullshit your way out of any future trouble you get yourself into, but not in my ship."

"Who are you to say anything about how I parent? Do you have any ideas of the sacrifices I've made for her?" Charlie laughs. A good hearty laugh, like Lillian just told them the funniest joke ever.

"Sacrifices? Parenting?" They manage to say between laughs. "You don't know the meaning of the words."

"I was called out for reading Dumas by my colleagues, for heaven's sake." She tries, and Charlie manages to stop laughing.

"A sacrifice is stopping my own deep cover work to get rid of the Crimson Fleet to come and save your ass from the small fry, because Cora asked me to." They say, taking a step towards her. "A sacrifice is having you here because Cora was worried about you. I've been with her for less than a month, and I've been her parent more than you ever bothered to be in twelve years." There's a snarl, and Lillian looks terrified.

"Charlie, please, that's enough." Sam places a hand on their shoulder, making them stop. "She heard enough."

"No." Lillian says, bearing that cocky smile that Charlie wants to punch out of her face. "Let's hear what your new sweetheart has to say, Sammy."

How much more shit can come out of one person's mouth?

"What about the fact that you claim to want a professional distance from your coworkers, to the point where Jaylen doesn't know your daughter's name, but he knows everything about me and my accomplishments, that were sent to you by Cora?" They remember the way Sam was treated at the Neon Ranger post.

"What are you talking about? I talk plenty about my kid!" She tries, but Charlie ain't buying. "And so what I mentioned the stranger my daughter seems to like more than me? It's embarrassing!"

"EMBARRASSING?" Charlie shouts, anger taking over their senses. "Embarrassing is claiming you put your neck out to save someone, but doing it for your own selfish purposes. Is bailing on your daughter every time she tries to see you and then complaining that she likes someone else, who is actually there for her, better than you."

Lillian jumps at Charlie, going for a hit on their stomach. They manage to dodge and she slips, but doesn't fall.

"You just got here, Charlotte!" She screams, turning to come back at Charlie and hitting a punch to their face. "You have no idea what you're talking about!"

"I know what is going on." They smile, ignoring the blatant use of their given name and cleaning out blood from their nose. "Your priorities are anywhere but where they actually should be." Lillian turns for another punch, and Charlie lets her hit. "You're scared of accepting that you fucked up, so you hide behind your work!"

The third punch has them falling on their butt. Lillian jumps at the opportunity to sit on their waist and hold them down.

Sam's frozen in the back, unsure if he should try to remove Lillian from Charlie and draw the fire to himself or let Charlie deal with the situation, as he's well aware that they can. No one calls them “Charlotte” and gets away unpunished. Be it ignoring Walter until he uses Charlie, or leaving a good bruise if the person still insists on the name. But Lillian using the name makes him worry. They're already throwing fists. And Lillian's use was deliberate. With the intent of insulting and hurting them.

Charlie lets Lillian punch them, barely defending themselves. It's almost like they want the punishment for everything they're saying.

"You know that you lost Sam the moment Cora was born." Charlie continues, despite Lillian's barrage at them. "You lost your hold on him. The idea of love that you gave him. And now, that he's moving on, that someone else wants what you didn't want, you're angry. Because if you can't have him, no one can." They had enough of her, so they activate their powers, canceling gravity where they stand.

They watch as Lillian floats helplessly, while they're still grounded.

"How in the blazes–" the effect ends before she can finish her question, and she falls flat on the floor.

"Lillian, leave. Go find something else to do." Sam says, helping Charlie to their chair. He's cold, holding his own anger back. Lillian may have been offended, but it still didn't justify her attack on Charlie.

"I'm not leaving until we get to the Syndicate hideout." Lillian gets up, cleaning her jacket and standing there as if she didn't just beat someone up.

"Leave us alone." He says again, and she finally gets the message, grumbling all the way out of the bridge.

"It looks worse than it is." Sam kneels before Charlie, picking up a first aid kit and making them look up so he can see the injuries. There'll be some light bruising, but nothing a medpack can't fix. "But you didn't have to push that much, Charlie. Not if it ends up with you getting hurt like this."

"I had to." They say, licking at where their lip broke and a drop of blood spills out. "I couldn't stand the way she talked to you. Or how she thinks that the minimum effort is a massive sacrifice. For you and Cora."

"And that last thing you said?" He offers them a light smile. "You want me?"

Charlie looks everywhere but at him. If their face wasn't hurting so much, they'd probably be all smiles and blushes.

"Only if you want to try." Too late to not tell the truth. "I've been interested since we got that Artifact."

"Charlie," he takes a deep breath, cleaning a bad wound on their temple and adding a bandage, "why didn't you say anything before?"

They can't hold back the tears, not anymore. It's been something that they kept bubbling up since Akila.

"Because you only ever talked about her." Charlie gathers the courage and looks at his eyes. "I was there, flirting, trying to hide away that it bothered me. And every other word you said was about her. Praising her at every turn. I said it the first time that I was jealous, and it was true." They take his hand, making him stop.

"She's a good–"

"A good ranger, I know." Charlie tries to remain calm. "But she's an awful person, Sam. I'm not changing my mind on that. You said it yourself that she dismissed you, your feelings. And now that we're getting close, that I'm close to Cora, she wants back in. Even if not… romantically, if you don't feel the same way I do." That last part hurts, but it has to be said.

"I'll put an end to it, for good." He leans closer to them, cupping their face with his calloused hands. Charlie wants to feel safe, confident in his promise. "No more talking of Lillian. We'll finish this, get rid of her, and we can talk, ok?"

They nod lightly, taking a medpack that he offers them to get rid of the worse of the bruising.

Maybe, Charlie thinks, there's still hope for them to be together.

[aro-pancake-writes]

Thank you, @bearlytolerant and @eridanidreams to help me with this one.

Paint it, blue

(image by @eridanidreams)

Walter finally trusts Charlie enough to give them something to do.

And it's to convince his team to work together and make a functional ship.

Not that his team wants to work together. They all want to do such different things, that it would be an impossible design.

And that's where Charlie comes in. As the target audience for… some of the people in that board room, they know what to ask for on a ship. And it's still hard to get everyone in the team to agree. But they manage.

Back in New Atlantis, the Lodge feels like home in the cold morning

“Ah, Charlo– Charlie. The ships are already in production.” Walter comes by, as Charlie takes the first sip of coffee that morning. “And I'm giving you the first one out.” 

Charlie chokes on their coffee.

“I'm sorry?” They ask, sceptical.

“Yes. The first ship is already at the starport, waiting for you.” The older man chimes, smiling at them. “No costs. It's already yours. A small token of my gratitude.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” They squeak and jump to hug Walter, who smiles gently and pats their back.

Anything is better than the old Spacer rust bucket they commandeered and have been flying on for the past few days, unable to make port properly to return to the Razorleaf. It still smells of day old stale beer.

“What's with all the noise this early?” Sam steps into the bar, watching as Charlie let go of Walter.

“Someone just got a new ship.” Walter laughs, fatherly.

“Come on! I wanna see it!” Charlie grabs Sam's hand, excited, and drags him across town to the spaceport.

“I wanna see my ship!” Charlie almost yells at the poor technician, who can only point her towards the new model.

It's big. So much bigger than anything they'd ever dream to own. And so much cargo space.

“Cora's gonna love this.” Sam comments once they step inside.

“There's enough room for her to have her own room!” Charlie says, shaking in excitement.

“And you're gonna paint it, won't you?” Sam asks them, as soon as they enter the big and comfortable cockpit.

“You know me so well.” Charlie teases him, going for that million creds smile. “I might throw in a kiss if you guess the colours.”

That makes Sam laugh. Of course he knows the colours. The same colour Charlie painted the Frontier, the Spacer and pirate vessels they commandeered, the Razorleaf. 

“I'm not guessing, Love.” He plays hardball with them. “Not a clue what colours you could possibly want to use.”

Charlie smiles at him, glowing in their happiness of finally having room in their ship for comfort.

They run back to the technician, with Sam close behind their heels.

“Time for an upgrade!” They look up to the ship before choosing all new weapons and changing a couple habs and cargo holds to make it more like them.

“So,” Charlie says, admiring their choices, “what do you say?”

“It's, uh,” Sam couldn't begin to describe it. That's not the colour he'd imagined Charlie would pick. “It's blue…” He tries.

The other ships are all golden and black. This feels different. The contrasting blues with black details are a unknown change.

“I know it's blue.” Charlie states mater of factly next to him. “I wanna know what you think. It's too much, right?” They pout, broken hearted.

“No, it's not–” Sam tries to explain.

“It's too much. I'll go back to black.” Charlie turns back, to have the ship repainted, but Sam holds them back.

“Do you like the ship being blue?” He asks them.

“Yeah. It's different. Not many bright blue ships out there.” They say, blushing and fighting with their pastel pink hair.

“Then it'll be a blue ship.” Sam leans down to look in their eyes. “It suits you."

That gets him a shy smile. Charlie is back to normal. Or whatever passes by normal in his little package of joy and excitement. It's not everyone who gets excited to see an Ashta racing their way and says “a baby” before shooting it down.

Maybe that's when he fell for them. Or when he understood that Charlie likes to see and learn about the world, how it works.

The next day, they were off. Headed to Nesoi.

It's night where they land, and they could all use the rest.

Sam makes Charlie stay in the ship, get some sleep before heading out in a hurry. They agree, reluctant, but drawn in by the promise of cuddles.

The new ship gives them enough privacy for a good night's sleep. The first one in a long time.

Charlie wakes up to the smell of coffee and Sam smiling at them.

“Come on, darlin'. Gotta show you something.” He pulls them back and they exit the ship through the docker, above the ship.

“Sam, sweetie, it's still dark.” Charlie yawns, sitting above the cockpit.

“I know. But it won't be for long.” He sits behind them, pulling them to lay on his chest. “It's been a while since I last stopped to enjoy a sunrise. Thought I'd share it with the one I love.” 

As he says it, the first rays start to show up. They're holding on to eachother, watching as the planet lights up before them.

“We gotta do this more often.” Charlie mumbles, getting Sam to smile. 

“I want to do this everyday, as long as it's with you.” He says, pulling them closer. “As long as you'll have me.” 

Charlie cozies up to him, processing his words. And processing again.

“What are you saying, Sam?” They ask, leaning away from his arms to look at him.

“Will you marry me?”

[aro-pancake-writes]

WIP Wednesday. This is what I got, still need a way to finish.

Tagged by: @thatsgoodsquishy0

Tagging: @silurisanguine, @eridanidreams, @lady-raziel, @bearlytolerant, @malwa1216, @spookyspecterino @fangbangerghoul for the love!

Be prepared for lots of Lillian slander, as I say everything I didn't get to tell her during Matters of the Hart, as I was feeling chaotic.

Also, I used my character, Charlie (they/them).

Truths for the Hart

"We don't have time to ask for backup." Lillian says, and I get up from my seat in a rage.

From the first time Sam told me about her, I knew I wouldn't like her, but I put up my good face and deflected the subject.

But this is the end of my patience for that woman.

I see Cora, wanting to butt in on Sam and Lillian's argument, and call her over to me.

"Here kiddo, take this, go to my quarters and close the doors." I give her my music player and send her off. There's no argument as she understands that things are about to get ugly here.

I wait for the door to the bridge to close before I step between Sam and Lillian.

"Enough." I say, pushing her away from him. "You, shut your hypocrite hole." I point at her. "Sam, darling," I turn to him, "I love you, and please don't be mad at me."

He looks at me confused for a second, as I turn back to Lillian.

"Lils, dearest," I make my best overly sweet voice and put on my largest smile, "don't you fucking dare to say shit."

"What do you know?" She scowls at me, crossing her arms ready for an argument. "And you can't call me that."

"It's my ship. I'll call you whatever the fuck I want to call you." It's becoming harder to maintain my smile. "If you want to not call backup, as per your own sayings, we'll drop Cora by at New Atlantis."

"We don't have the time! The Syndicate will–" I cut her off by raising a finger, my smile dying as I square my shoulders and fix my posture.

"Then you won't ever again bother us for taking Cora along. You won't ever again say anything about her tagging along. Ever." She opens and closes her mouth like a fish. "You'll shut up until I drop you off back on Neon, so you can try to gaslight and bullshit your way out of any future trouble you get yourself into."

"Who are you to say anything about how I parent? Do you have any ideas of the sacrifices I've made for her?" That's it.

I crack up, laughing.

"Sacrifices? Parenting?" I manage to say between laughs. "You don't know the meaning of the words."

"I was called out for reading Dumas by my colleagues, for heaven's sake." She tries and I manage to stop laughing.

"A sacrifice is stopping my own deep cover work to get rid of the Crimson Fleet to come and save your ass from the small fry, because Cora asked me to." I say, taking a step towards her."A sacrifice is having you here because Cora was worried about you. I've been with her for less than a month, and I've been her parent more than you ever bothered to be in twelve years." I snarl, and she looks terrified.

"Charlie, please, that's enough." Sam places a hand on my shoulder, making me stop. "She heard enough."

"No." Lillian says, bearing that cocky smile that I want to punch out of her face. "Let's hear what your new sweetheart has to say, Sammy."

That has me seeing red. How much more shit can come out of one person's mouth.

"What about the fact that you claim to want a professional distance from your coworkers, to the point where Jaylen doesn't know your daughter's name, but he knows everything about me and my accomplishments, that were sent to you by Cora?" I remember the way Sam was treated at the Neon Ranger post.

"What are you talking about? I talk plenty about my kid!" She tries, but I'm not buying it. "And so what I mentioned the stranger my daughter seems to like more than me? It's embarrassing!"

"EMBARRASSING?" I shout at her, completely lost in my rage. "Embarrassing is claiming you put your neck out to save someone, but doing it for your own selfish purposes. Is bailing on your daughter every time she tries to see you and then complaining that she likes someone else, who is actually there for her, better than you."

She jumps me, going for a hit on my stomach. I manage to dodge and she slips, but doesn't fall.

"You just got here!" She screams, turning to come back at me and hitting a punch to my face. "You have no idea what you're talking about!"

"I know what is going on." I smile, cleaning out blood from my face. "Your priorities are anywhere but where they actually should be." She comes for another punch, and I let her. "You're scared of accepting that you fucked up, so you hide behind your work!"

The third punch has me losing my balance and falling. Lillian jumps at the opportunity to sit on my waist and hold me down.

"You know that you lost Sam the moment Cora was born." I continue, despite her barrage. "You lost your hold on him. The idea of love that you gave him. And now, that he's moving on, that someone else wants what you didn't want, you're angry. Because if you can't have him, no one can." I had enough of her, so I remove her from me by annulling the gravity where we are.

I watch as she floats helplessly while I do my best to get up.

"How in the blazes–" the effect ends before she can finish her question, and she falls flat on the floor.

"Lillian, leave. Go find something else to do." Sam says, helping me to my chair. He's cold, holding his anger back.

"I'm not leaving until we get to the Syndicate hideout." She gets up, cleaning her jacket and standing there as if she didn't just beat me up.

"Leave us alone." He says again, and she finally gets the message, grumbling all the way out of the bridge.

"It looks worse than it is." Sam kneels before me, picking up a med kit and making me look up so he can see the injuries. "But you didn't have to push that much, Charlie. Not if it ends up with you getting hurt like this."

"I had." I say, licking at where my lip broke. "I couldn't stand the way she talked to you. Or how she thinks that the minimum effort is a massive sacrifice. For you and Cora."

"And that last thing you said?" He offers me a light smile. "You want me?"

I look everywhere but at him. If my face wasn't hurting so much, I'd be all smiles and blushing.

"Only if you want to try." Too late to not tell the truth. "I've been interested since we got that Artifact."

"Charlie," he takes a deep breath, cleaning a bad wound on my temple and adding a bandage, "why didn't you say anything before?"

I can't hold back the tears, not anymore.

"Because you only ever talked about her." I gather the courage to look at his eyes. "I was there, flirting, trying to hide away that it bothered me. And every other word you said were about her. Praising her at every turn. I said it the first time that I was jealous, and it was true." I take his hand in mine, making him stop.

"She's a good–"

"A good ranger, I know." I try to calm myself down. "But she's an awful person, Sam. I'm not changing my mind on that. You said it yourself that she dismissed you, your feelings. And now that we're getting close, that I'm close to Cora, she wants back in. Even if not… romantically, if you don't feel the same way I do." That last part hurts, but I have to say it.

"I'll put an end to it, for good." He leans closer to me, cupping my face with his hands. "No more talking of Lillian. We'll finish this, get rid of her, and we can talk, ok?"

I nod lightly, taking a medpack that he offers me to get rid of the worse of my bruising.

[aro-pancake-writes]

@spookyspecterino @fangbangerghoul @bearlytolerant

WIP Wednesday! Let's do it!

This one's living up here, rent free in a triplex, along with Chant from Hadestown.

Ng+ spoilers.

It's just a sketch for a first chapter, but let's go!

Btw, it's about a Starborn that did everything to go back.

Lover everything I do, I do it for the love of you.

I've been travelling for… so long I lost count. Searching, looking, everywhere.

My hands are bloody. My emotions are all but gone. I don't even bother anymore. Not with trying to meet the new versions, with seeing them die.

I tried, I think. Once, long ago, when all of this started. I wanted to move on, to continue with my life, fix the mistakes I couldn't fix before.

But this is the last jump I'll ever take. I'll resign. Find an empty planet and live there the rest of my days. Or end it all before that. I just know that I can't stay in this universe a moment longer.

I close my eyes, remembering him. The reason I jumped in the first place. He told me to. He said, promised, that we'd find eachother again. That he'd love me in every universe.

I laugh at that last one. There's still a scar on my stomach from one of the meetings we had. One that Sam never had Cora. That he still loved Lillian.

I'm broken now. My only guiding light is, was, to find him randomly across the universes. The Unity said he would eventually jump in, he'd come looking for me.

It's been millennia, and I'm no longer sure.

So, one more jump. One last try.

The lights are blinding, and the sights were once mesmerising. They lost their beauty for me so long ago.

I make my way back to New Atlantis. One last time.

There's something hauntingly familiar as I walk through the spaceport to the Lodge. Something that tells me I've been here before. I've been to this version.

I step into the Lodge, waiting to meet Sarah, have her asking me about the artifacts. I prepare myself for Walter snark comments and Matteo's awe.

But that's not what I see.

The first thing I see is a familiar cowboy hat. Sam.

I hold back from jumping at him, no matter how much I want to and it breaks what's left of my heart that I can't. It didn't end up well before.

I watch, patiently, as he turns to face me, removing his hat.

Sam looks older. There are strands of silver on his hair and beard, and wrinkles forming around his eyes. But it's still him.

He's smiling. Arms open and inviting.

I cross my arms, fighting even more the urge to go to him. It's not my Sam. Not the one of my original universe. That I fell in love with. It's another version. Right?

I can't be back. After all this time, to be sent back feels like the Unity is rubbing it off on my face.

“Haven't seen you in a while, love.” Sam says, stepping closer to me. “You're still as beautiful as the day I lost you.”

He touches my face, and I allow him. It's been so long since I felt any kind of warmth, that this feels like it's scorching my skin and I want more.

“Please, don't tease me like this.” I say, remembering the universes I've told him.

“I'm not.” He says, placing a hand on his holster, taking out the pistol there. “This is for you. Saved my ass more than I could count. Time to give it back.”

It's my pistol. I couldn't bring myself to use one like it since the first time I went through. Couldn't keep them.

“It's yours now.” I push his hand back, so he can put it away. “I can't take it away from you.”

His smile dies. It's almost like he sees that I'm not the person who walked through Unity.

“Why would I need it? It was a reminder of you.” He asks, stepping back. “I finally got you back. And I'm not letting you go again.”

Again.

If there was ever any doubt that I'm back, it fades away. I'm home.

I can't resist anymore. Falling into his arms, I allow myself to feel again. I cry, holding on to him.

“How long?” I gather the courage to ask, unsure if I want too know.

“A little over ten years.” There's sorrow as he answers me, running a hand on my back.

I missed so much. Cora is all grown up now. Probably off to college.

And I can rest. Hoping that is not just another bad joke from the Unity. They did it so much by now, with universes where he was already dead, or happy in a different life. Those were the worst for me.

Not really thinking, I kiss him. It's a heavy kiss, where we both show how we missed eachother.

I can't believe we're finally back together. After all this time.

“So,” I lean back, looking into his lovely blue eyes, “what did I miss?”

[aro-pancake-writes]

Another Brain Rot. That man has me on a chokehold and I'll never deny it.

Sam Coe x Spacefarer.

NB Dusty, as usual. No description of Dusty, but there's a whole collection of every single plushie in the game on their bed, because that's what I do with my plushies. And I want to have something handy.

And no, I cannot give my stories titles, because I never know what to name them.

It's not even noon, and I'm already in a bind.

Crimson Fleet ships surround the Kepler, and there's a familiar voice on the comms.

Would someone be mad if I "accidentally" shoot at her ship? Just enough to disable the grav drive and she's unable to run away the second the fight is over.

Taking a look over my shoulder, to where Sam is sitting on the guns, I choose not to shoot. He'd be mad.

The last ship is taken down, and I'm opening the comms for... Lillian.

And of course the first thing she does is to ignore me, dismiss Cora, and focus all her attention on Sam. Flirting with him.

If he was ignoring, sure, I'd also ignore it. But he's flirting back. Returning her quips in the same tone, smiling.

I can't stand it, so I tell Andreja to set a course to New Atlantis once they're done there, and head to my quarters. I can still hear them through the intercoms, so I turn it off and hide under my covers.

I should have shot her down. Docked. Made her see Cora and look into my eyes as she flirts with...

Sam once told me that Lillian came back after him a lot over the years. Looking for sex, claiming to have changed, to be wanting to have a good relationship with him and Cora... Not that he actually believed after a while, but he said the sex was good, so he played along.

Is that what they're doing now? Looking for comfort in eachother after some adrenaline? I don't want to know.

~~

Sam closed off the comms to Lillian's ship, kinda happy that they didn't fight again. Despite Lillian making up excuses to not see Cora.

But the glares he was getting from Andreja and Cora told him it was not something to be happy about.

"Dad, why were you flirting with mom?" Cora asks, crossing her arms as she started at him like she's the parent.

"I wasn't flirting with her. Why would I do that?" He retorts, confused as to what led to this situation.

"It sure sounded like you two were flirting." Andreja says, deadpan as she takes the pilots seat. "Didn't notice anything happening while the two of you were talking?"

Andreja is on the pilots seat. Not them.

"When did they leave?" He asks, not being any answers for the women in the ship, both still glaring at him. "When?" He pushes, and Andreja folds.

"Somewhere between needing a vacation and that invitation to Paradiso." It was an invitation?

If they aren't here, there's one place.

~~

It's a while before the door to my quarters open. I'm not in the mood to talk to him, so I turn away on the bed, avoiding his eyes.

"Darling, can we talk?" Sam asks, and I make a point to ignore him. "Please? I'm really-" I don't want to hear it, so I turn and toss one of my plushies at him.

"Don't want to talk!" I shout, throwing another plushie. "Get out! Go back to her!" I throw one with each sentence, but he barely moves, only to dodge my attacks.

Instead of leaving, he steps closer.

"Go back to having that great sex you couldn't pass up on." I continue, along with my barrage of plushies. "Go back to crawling, to begging for any drop of attention, to arguing every day. Isn't that what you want?" I finally toss my Parsecpooch, the last plushie in the bed, and he catches it expertly.

"Darling, I'm not gonna-" he tries again, close enough to hold me in his arms.

"At least have the decency of waiting for me to leave the room, to not do it where I can see or hear it." I mumble, falling into his chest, crying. "Try to hide from me."

"I'm not going back to her." He says, running a hand through my hair. "Hell, if Cora and Andreja didn't tell me, I wouldn't know she was flirting with me."

"What?" I lean back, cleaning up my tears.

"It felt... Good. To talk without it escalating into an argument." He explains. "That's all it was for me, love."

"So you're not going to that weekend in Paradiso?" I ask, my voice broken and flawed.

"Not with her, no." He offers me a smile, cupping my face in his hands. "If I'm ever granted a vacation there, it'll be with you. On our honeymoon."

Our... Honeymoon? My brain stops in its tracks. Why is he talking about honeymoon already? Unless...

"I know this is a shit time to do it, but I love you. And I want to marry you, if you'll take me." His smile is genuine, and I'm about to lean into a kiss when there's a noise at the door.

I get up, opening it to find Cora and Andreja there, acting as if they weren't listening in on our conversation.

Cora comes by to hug me, clearly happy with the proposal.

"I'd love to have you in my family." She says, before running off into the ship.

I close the door again, and turn back to Sam.

"I'd love to marry you." I say, but the memory of the way they flirted is still like a gash on my mind. "But you'll have to promise me that there won't ever be a repeat of today." All my terms are on the table. That's the only demand I'll ever make.

"You have my word on it, love." He gets up, coming by to give me a kiss.

I'm not letting go that easy. Not really.