aroace-madness

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Boom Stobotnik is genuinely peak and you can’t convince me otherwise

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Casey Jones my fave loser

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Captain Marvel can't be a member of the Justice League because he has a LOT of shit to deal with in his first years as the champion of magic after so many centuries without one.

So when Superman asks this new hero, who only appears in Fawcett or in world-ending situations, if he wants to join him, he's met with a big, polite "Oh, no thanks."

But Captain Marvel and the League keep bumping into each other.

Zatanna does a spell that the League requested, and Marvel just "POFF" appears and says something like "Guys, I can't let you do this. It's a scale 12 spell, it could cause a rupture in the fabric of this universe. Here, let me redo this for you, sorry, I just need to make sure, okay?"

And someone says "YOU CAN'T DO THAT" and the magic users explain that, yes, yes he can. he is the new champion of magic and he is in fact responsible for keeping magic in its rightful place, making sure it doesn't go ruining the interdimensional worlds or universes, and that this IS his role in magical society and no one in that room can really take away his authority in matters related to magic. They can try, but the chances of success are very low.

So Captain Marvel takes care of it.

Like, are they on a mission to retrieve a magical artifact? Marvel will show up, grab it, and leave because he needs to put it in the rock so it doesn't cause more trouble.

Are they dealing with a cult that's probably going to summon a demon or something? Marvel will probably be there to banish the demon, close the portal, and reprimand Constantine, because why not?

The magical villain that Marvel saw the League having trouble with? Well, just a little finger shock should do the trick to help them take the villain away.

Got a problem with a God? Marvel is there.

Are the portals opening? Captain is in charge.

Have goblins invaded Gotham? Are fairies loose in Metropolis? Are there talking snowmen in Central City? No problem, Captain Marvel is ur guy.

After a while, JL is dying to have him on their team. Or at least let him keep a communicator in case they need to call for help. Because, well, this guy IS super powerful, a HUGE nerd about magical things, and it's MUCH better to have him on their side than not.

But he always refuses, because taking care of all the problems related to magic and Fawcett's stuff is already too much, hes just like 8-9 years old, give him a break.

Yeah but of course one day, after a long day, Superman goes back to Fawcett to ask about it for the thousandth time, and he's so tired of this subject that he just waves his hand and says: "Okay, okay, give me a year to make magical society at least more stable so they can keep going without me present all the time, then I'll go with you, okay?"

And Superman is beaming with happiness, he agrees, leaves, and Billy goes to sleep that night dead of exhaustion on his little couch on the rock of eternity, wondering HOW he's going to make magical society stable after CENTURIES of instability. in. one. year.

That's future billy problem tho, not billy of the present. that being said, time for the champion's nap

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*ok, but what is Jake's stragle?*

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This is the funniest email I have ever received from a professor

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WingsAU where Captain Marvel doesn't have wings.

Okay, many magical or supernatural creatures don't have wings like humans.

But one day, during a cleanup mission, the Captain is helping a child and, to distract him while they look for his parents, they talk.

Child: You look so much like a human…

Marvel: Well, thats probably because i am a human, buddy.

Child: Are you? then… Where are your wings?

Marvel: Well… I used to have wings. They were just like my father's… but I had an accident and lost them… Good thing I can still fly without them, huh?

Later, Batman would be the only one brave enough to ask Cap about it.

Marvel: Oh, no. I lied a little bit to the kid… It was not an accident. A relative of mine… he really didn't like the look of my wings. I think looking at them made him sad, because they reminded him of my dad… so he ripped them off before he kicked me out of the house.

He said it so nonchalantly that Batman felt a little stunted.

One day, on a mission, Captain Marvel got impaled by a huge pole. Thats ok, he healed. But not the suit. So, there was a big hole in the back of the clothes, showing some ugly nasty but healed scars where Captain's wings should be.

From Batman's analysis, he used to have 2 wings. They are so small compared to the size of his back, he must have been very young at the time… They are scarred, but their sinuousness makes it obvious how extremely violent and raw the act was. It is not a scar from something that was cut, it is a scar from something that was torn. The next time Marvel is at the WatchTower, he notices how everyone tries to be extra nice to him.

Wings are a very sacred part of humans, Cap was just so small that when Ebezener ripped them off, he didn't have time to attach himself to them or with what they meant he IS an optimist who always sees the glass as half full. he didn't completely lie to that kid earlier. yeah, he doesn't have wings anymore, but he can still fly with magic! only when he's transformed… but that's enough for him not to get so upset.

and maybe the trauma also made him forget 90% of the situation in favor of ignoring the agony he went through

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billy and mary as twin robins?

Billy: *checking out his costume* “Uh… I don’t like this Mr Batman Sir.”

Billy is wearing a costume similar to Dick and Jason’s except with shorts instead of tighty-whiteys. Mary is wearing a costume similar to Stephanie’s.

Mary: “Yeah, by the way, is this costume used?”

Spoiler: “Yes, and you look adorable!” *taking like five hundred pictures*

Robin!Damian: “Father, why exactly do we need the extra, unneeded help?”

Batman: “Don’t worry about it, Robin.” *pushes him towards Billy and Mary* “Now say cheese.”

After Bruce took a singular photo, he set them and Damian loose.

Batman: “Robins, since there are now three of you, you may go as a group.”

Robin!Damian: “I don’t have to accompany you, father?”

Batman: “No. Now go on. Stop crime. Watch your sibli— I mean, watch your partners, Robin.”

Mary and Billy: “Yes!”

Robin!Damian: “He was talking to me…” *starts walking off*

Mary and Billy: *follow after him*

Billy: *whispering to Mary* “What was that stutter from Mr Batman Sir?”

Mary: *shrugs*

Later, all three of them stood on a rooftop. Mary and Billy didn’t really know their way around Gotham nor know much about its rogues so they just let Robin take the reins of their little trio.

Robin!Damian: “Alright you both, this is a standard mugging. You both take down one man while I take the other.”

Mary and Billy: “Okay!”

Later…

Robin!Damian: *already took his guy down*

Mary and Billy: *stomping their guy out*

Robin!Damian: “Hey.”

Mary and Billy: *still stomping their guy out*

Robin!Damian: “Hey!”

Mary and Billy: *continue stomping*

Robin!Damian: “HEY!”

Mary and Billy: *both stop*

Robin!Damian: “Tie him up and move on.”

Mary and Billy: “Yes Robin!” *salute*

They mostly handled petty crimes due to Damian thinking Billy and Mary were untrained. Which, they were, in the normal forms. Damian doesn’t know that either of them are Marvels. They ended the night with a scraped knee on Billy’s side (he fumbled some parkour) and a little scratch on one of Mary’s arms. (Some guy pulled a knife and nicked her, it wasn’t a deep one.) Back at the cave, they had some cookies from Alfred and parted ways.

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The wolf Witchers want- no, need Geralt to apologise to his bard as soon as it's physicaly possible

That bard Has been working his ass off to fix the reputation of Witchers one song at a time and all the Witchers could never thank him enough for that

But ever since the whatever-the-fuck happened at that gods forsaken mountain a few years prior and since Jaskier made that brake-up song (because let's all be honest to eachother here now, it was a break-up song) things have been going to absolute shit, everyone, all the people across the continent went back to their old witcher hating ways

Geralt has to apologise to Jaskier by yesterday

But when day when Lambert was coming back from a surprisingly succesfull hunt he saw him, Jaskier, with a young, white haired, blue eyed girl trailing by his side

Looks like that fateful day Geralt didn't leave Jaskier with only a broken heart

He had to inform his brothers immediately

Or

The Witchers have absolutely no clue how human biology works and now Jaskier has to deal with the consequences of that

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I’m so easily persuaded into a ship. All I need is one good piece of artwork and I’m like, yeah I see it. I approve.

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Ao3:

Me:

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i hope luigi mangione is proven innocent & gets to sue a ton of companies for slander and win & i hope he gets enough money to rebuild his life and get any help for his chronic pain that he needs & i hope he’s able to disappear from the public eye entirely if that’s what he wants

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STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

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daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

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absolute superbat

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