aroapl

[aroapl]

identifying with aplatonic is just really healing for me. I was okay with being aromantic but I always found myself constantly trying to prove to myself that I was still a valid human person. Like the aro Jaiden Animations video helped people discover their aromantisism, but it also made me go "guys im not a monster i still love people haha! actually, I totally feel it WAY more because I'm aromantic! it's just a little quirk haha. please dont hate me" so much. I HAD to value friends above everything and I HAD to get into qprs, or else I had nothing to justify my lack of feelings. I kept trying to act how I felt normal people were supposed to. Finding aplatonic people like me makes me feel less alone and I FINALLY started to accept myself UNCONDITIONALLY. I'm still trying to fight back against people having to justify aromantism on a set of conditions, because it really does hurt everybody. I hope more people will see us one day.

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[aroapl]

aplatonic ppl are cool and awesome btw

[aroapl]

It's Aplatonic Awareness Day, so let's talk about it!

[aroapl]

It's Aplatonic Visibility Day! 💜💙💚💛

What is Aplatonic?

Aplatonic is an identity on the anattractional spectrum (aspec) that describes a lack of platonic attraction. The aplatonic spectrum is known as aplspec and apl- is pronounced like "apple."

Platonic refers to a tertiary form of attraction where one desires to form friendships (platonic relationships.) A platonic crush is known as a squish and a friend is the person who is in a platonic relationship.

Some folks may feel fluctuating platonic attraction while others may feel very diminished levels of platonic attraction. Some may be entirely repulsed by platonic relationships while others may simply not wish to pursue platonic relationships. All types of identities you see in the aspec community - gray, fray, litho, demi, cupio, aego, apothi, orchid, neuro - are experiences you may see in the aplatonic community. Like all other orientations, this is a flexible and varied label, and people will use it in a variety of ways.

This is not a term exclusive to the aro/ace community. Many folks may be aplatonic but feel attraction in other aspects.

Click here to see a very informative website all about the aplatonic identity and all the terms that fall under it.

Some blogs to follow:

@aplatonicism

@our-aplatonic-experience

@aplatonic-stuff

@apls-to-apls

@aro-apl-safeplace-for-all

@aroapl

@aroaplandchill

@aplatonic-culture-is

@aplatonicsafespace

@aplatonic-alpaca

I'm also aplatonic! I'm open to answering questions about it. I'm not out to many people (definitely no one outside of the internet) and I'm still exploring this aspect of me, so there are a lot of details I'm not sure how to explain yet. I talk a lot about my experiences under the "aplatonic" tag on my main, @stormy-talks.

- 💙💚

[aroapl]

8, 14, and 18 for the aplatonic asks!

8: How did you first learn about the term "aplatonic"?

I came across it on Tumblr. I've followed a lot of aspec blogs and frequented aspec tags since at least 2014, and I first saw aplatonic mentioned in those spaces sometime in the mid to late 20teens. I didn't think much of it back then, but I came across it again when the aplatonic community started gaining traction in 2021, and that's when I started learning more about it via Tumblr and giving my own place on the aplspec some thought.

14: What would you want to see highlighted in aplatonic awareness aimed at alloplatonics and questioning apls?

Our community is still obscure enough that we honestly still need the basics of aplatonicism to be boosted and spread more. Things like the general definition of aplatonic, what platonic attraction is, and how feelings and desires towards friendship vary between individual aplatonic people. From what I've seen, a majority of people outside of highly involved aspec communities still either haven't heard of aplatonicism at all, or think it (exclusively) means having no friends or not wanting a queerplatonic relationship.

Beyond that though, I would love to see more talk about the various options for socialization and relationships outside of friendship. That's something I see allopls ask about pretty often, and something a decent amount of newly discovered apls tend to struggle with at first. I'd also like to see more positive talk about how aplatonicism can intertwine with, and/or be influenced by, various mental health conditions, and how this doesn't make one's aplatonicism any less real, valid, or important.

18: Any aplatonic-friendly media recommendations? Any media you recommend that aplatonics avoid?

I unfortunately don't have much to say on this, because I consume very little media other than Youtube videos. I've noticed most stuff that's really family friendly/geared towards a younger audience tends to not be great for friendship averse/repulsed folks, since it often has a bigger than average focus on friendship.

[aroapl]

Happy aplatonic day of visibility everyone! I hope all my fellow apls out there are having a great day!

[aroapl]

how easy is it to call someone your friend? scare is too selective, while rage is too lavish.

have a good aplatonic visibility day everyone 🍏

[aroapl]

Happy Aplatonic Visibility Day! This is my first time celebrating it! Here is a Watcher because they are gonna have to rip Watcher aplspec hc from my cold, dead hands.

[aroapl]

Aplatonic Asks 🍏

What aplatonic labels and terminology do you use?

Is there any intersection with your aplatonic identity and other identities you have?

Thoughts on apples? Red or green?

Thoughts on apple juice? What about apple cider?

Have you ever tried a candy apple? Thoughts on artifical green apple flavor?

Have you come out to anyone as aplatonic? Have you discussed aplatonicism with anyone outside of aplatonic communities?

How did you realize you were aplatonic?

How did you first learn about the term "aplatonic"?

If you do want friends, describe your ideal friendship. If you don't want friends, describe your ideal support system.

(A) If applicable, talk about the successful and comfortable friendships you've had. What is it like for you to navigate friendship as an aplatonic? (B) If you don't have, want, or prefer friends, talk a little about the other kinds of relationships in your life that you deem important. Outside of relationships, what makes you happy and comfortable in life? What's it like to navigate life without friends?

Is there anything that makes you feel plato-repulsed?

Thoughts on the "power of friendship" trope? And other similar platonic-heavy tropes and stories?

What do you wish alloplatonics understood about being aplatonic?

What would you want to see highlighted in aplatonic awareness aimed at alloplatonics and questioning apls?

What would you want to see in aplatonic representation in media and/or fandom?

Do you have any aplatonic headcanons?

Has there been any media and/or characters that you could relate to as an aplatonic?

Any aplatonic-friendly media recommendations? Any media you recommend that aplatonics avoid?

[aroapl]

aces don't need to compensate for our lack of sexual attraction by being super kinky, making dirty jokes, writing the best smut, handing out water bottles at the orgy etc. i'm tired of seeing these jokes about "the ace friend" who does all of these things because it feels like just another way to say "oh look! aces aren't that broken actually! aces can participate in all these sexy things and be normal!"

we don't need to compensate. we just exist, whatever that looks like, in whichever way we relate to sex and sexual things.

[aroapl]

tapping the sign theres no moral weight to sexual, romantic, platonic, or any other kind of attraction, be it the presence or absence of it with co-relation or non-relation to other types of attraction

[aroapl]

Made some loveless AroAllo flags because I got bored! Enjoy :)

The triangle thingy because I think it looks nice

Triangle with the flags swapped!

And, my personal favorite, because I’m a sucker for gradients:

[aroapl]

aplatonic people are awesome by the way. apl people i am forever wishing you the best in whatever way you choose to engage with the world and with other people. you’re doing amazing and i think you’re so cool forever 🫡

[aroapl]

Non-ace aro culture is standing with our ace siblings and not letting acephobia creep into our community

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[aroapl]

Alloaros are not inherently more sexual than anyone else, and they don’t have to have sex to prove their alloaroness. An alloaro who has never had sex or who no longer has sex — whether due to not being able to find a partner, being celibate, experiencing trauma, not being ready, or any other reason — is no less alloaro than someone who has had lots of sex or who has one or more foveo(s)/FWB(s). There is no shame in an alloaro person having sexual relationships that don’t involve romantic feelings (or even platonic feelings!), but being alloaro without having sex isn’t a contradiction either.

[aroapl]

by the way, if you're weird about aromantic heterosexual cisgender men, i kill you. if that man wants a purely sexual relationship with a woman and communicates that with her, and she agrees, hell yes. good for them. you have no right to be a bitch about that. that's frankly none of your god damn business. he's not "emotionally abusive" for wanting a specific type of relationship. you're being stupid and weird. and weirdly misogynistic, by assuming that women are inherently these helpless victims that have no agency or autonomy.

you're literally being the "the myth of consensual sex" meme when you talk shit about cishet aro men in purely sexual relationships with women.

[aroapl]

You know what I like so much about the aromantic community?

We have so many concepts that the average alloromantic person has never heard of. Concepts that make it so much easier to explain our experiences, desires and struggles to other people. They make it so much easier to exist as an aromantic person in this world. Of course, every aromantic person can decide whether they find these concepts helpful and applicable to their experiences. But I find it amazing how many cool concepts the aromantic community either came up with or took pre-existing concepts and made them our aromantic 101. I don't think the allos really get how being aromantic can fundamentally change your worldview. And to be honest, I think they're missing out because I think everyone would benefit from at least being familiar with those concepts.

Being aromantic is basically like this:

Aromantic shrimp colours are real.

Anyways, aromantic community, y'all mean a lot to me and I'm so happy I found y'all and now share your "secret" knowledge!