aroctivitist

[aroctivitist]

I'm aroallo and I've always felt othered in online aspec spaces. There's so much talk about sex being weird or bad and it's no better than conservatives' whole "sex bad" thing. I already had to deal with a bunch of internalized stuff from parents, and the fact that there are so few aro-specific spaces and even those that are not in some way hostile to alloaros are hard to come by. I feel so lost and I can't talk about sex in relation to myself to the point that I struggle to mention it with people I would trust with my life when I know they're willing to listen and want to be helpful. I'm scared to come out to people I don't trust very firmly because I'm worried I'll get the whole "oh so you just want to use people for sex and not give a shit about them" and it's hard for me to talk about when I don't have anonymity because of all my internalized sex negativity so I can't broach the topic in therapy or anywhere where I'd have the ability to work through it. I'm terrified this is something I'll have to live with forever. It's also tied up with being transfemme because whenever I'm discussing it with other girls I feel like I'm being predatory and I'm just lost.

[aroctivitist]

AlloAros aren’t all one entity. People seem to lump us all together, but ONLY in negative ways. We’re all “predators” we’re all “evil”, we’re all “abusers”, so say non-AlloAros. People who are kind, gentle, and affectionate are considered the outliers and “the few good ones” by alloarophobes. Non-AlloAro aspecs separate us from the aspec community, but can’t separate the statistically few genuinely bad ones of us from the rest. I’ll never claim AlloAros can’t be abusive, because we can. But y’all lump us all together, not as a community, but as evil people, and then excuse alloarophobes as the “outliers.” Even the most supportive non-AlloAros have learned alloarophobia. Stop lumping us together as negative stereotypes, stop excluding us from the rest of the aspec community, stop defending blatantly alloarophobic people, and start acknowledging your own learned alloarophobia.

[aroctivitist]

Tips on how to write aromantic characters:

I recently noticed that the post about writing ace characters gained a lot of popularity, and it made me so happy to see that there were people who wanted to try and correctly represent the asexual community. However, another misrepresented community is the aromantic community, which doesn’t only include aros and arospec aces, but also aro and arospec allos. For this reason, I decided to write a second post which will focus on aro and arospec indentities within the community. A small disclaimer before we begin. I identify as grey romantic, which means that I experience limited, weak romantic attraction. My experiences in no way match or reflect the experiences of the entire aromantic community. In order to ensure that this does not get confused, I will not write from my point of view, but from a collective point of view and introduce a few valuable tips.

1. Just like with the ace tips, do not demonize your characters. Do not write the aro ace character as a robot-like cold individual that doesn’t feel affection for anybody. Do not write the aro allo character as a greedy individual that only thrives with one night stands and cannot form any serious relationships. Write the characters with respect, and always explain, give them backstories that don’t fix them but enrich them and make their voices heard.

2. Give them meaningful friendships! Aroaces and aroallos are not individuals that can’t have deep, fulfilling platonic relationships. The exact opposite, actually. They sometimes can give their whole heart and soul to their friendships.

3. Do not exclude the possibility of romance. Some aro people engage in romantic activities, just like how some ace people engage in sexual activities. Attraction and desire are two different things, and what one does with their partner is an entire story of its own. Speaking of, do not assume an aro person is always romance repulsed. Just like with aces, there are a lot of types of aros, with various degrees of tolerance for romance.

4. Mind the labels! Just like with the asexual spectrum, the aromantic spectrum has a variety of experiences and emotions. Demiromantic people will develop romantic attraction after an intense emotional bond has been created. Greyromantic people feel romantic attraction on special occasions, and often feel alienated from romance, even though the term aromantic doesn’t perfectly match them. Quoiromantic people have a difficulty to clarify whether their attraction is platonic, romantic, alterous etc. No person is the same! Choose carefully and always, always research and respect. 

5. Consider giving them a zucchini. There is a whole idea behind queerplatonic relationships, and that is that they reshape the boundaries of friendship and romance. Not every aro person needs a partner, and enforcing the idea that everybody needs to be “paired” with someone is wrong, but if you feel like your aro character could have a strong bond with someone, a zucchini (queerplatonic partner) is always a cute option. Just keep in mind that, especially for aroallo people (but some aroaces too), it is possible for them to have more than one relationship, and a zucchini isn’t the only type of relationship an arospec person can form.

Please remember that arospec people do not need to be fixed and do not lack something ❤️ Lots of meaningful bonds can be achieved without romantic attraction, and in any case, be respectful and don’t reduce the characters to just their identity ❤️ I trust and love you ❤️

[aroctivitist]

after some chattin this flag colour order is now this way around!!

please reblog this version instead n delete other version reblobs!!

[aroctivitist]

Why your acephobia and arophobia is really just bullshit

Getting tired of the discourse on Tumblr surrounding the existence of asexuality. I feel I have the right to speak on this matter, seeing as I’m not only an aromantic asexual, but a trans* person. Of course, it seems like the majority of people speaking about this on Tumblr are neither aromantic or even asexual, which leads me to questioning why they’re opening their mouths in the first place. What happened to closing our mouths when we’re not personally educated on a topic? Or is that just not applicable when an opinion doesn’t correspond with our own? 

And maybe that’s what makes me so passionately mad about the subject. Tumblr is a place where the oppressed have basically been given a voice and the exclusion of asexuals and aromantics from the LGBT+ community… is oppression. Sure, it’s not to the extent of oppression of a certain sex or race, but that doesn’t make it any less of a form of oppression. 

And just WHY do asexuals and aromantics deserve a place in the LGBT community?

For one, asexuals and aromantics are not straight. Let me repeat. ASEXUALS AND AROMANTICS ARE NOT STRAIGHT. A hetereosexual person is somebody is it both romantically and sexually attracted to the opposite sex. But wait a minute? Heteromantic asexuals don’t experience sexual attraction… aromantic heterosexuals don’t experience romantic attraction. Therefore, they’re not straight.

Not satisfied? Guess what, aromantics/asexuals are neither straight OR gay. They’re asexual/aromantic. That’s the whole reason the term was devised, because nothing else fits. And because they don’t identify as the norm (heterosexual), they’re therefore queer. And the LGBT community is supposed to include queer members of the society we live in… are they not? What I especially don’t get is why aromantic asexual people are being attacked. They experience no form of heterosexual attraction whatsoever.

Newsflash, Tumblr. Just because doesn’t work for you, doesn’t mean you can lump everything together. Asexual/aromantic people are not straight and to say they are is to literally strip them of their identity. YOU’RE trying to talk for somebody and tell them what they identify as. That’s wrong. You are literally erasing someone. You are OPPRESSING someone. 

And not only are we being oppressed by the community we’re supposed to live in, but if you actually educated yourself, you’d realize that aromantics/asexuals face a lot of problems. For one, many experience homophobia. Yes, homophobia. An asexual or aromantic person can be in a relationship with a person of the same sex or someone with a gender identity, such as agender.

I mean… but it’s not like we’re being majorly oppressed, right? It’s not like we’re considered psychologically different or dysfunctional, right? Let’s consider this. Homosexuality was removed from the DSM in 1973… while asexuality, well it just disappeared in the DSM-5, which was published in 2013. Asexuality has been considered a disorder for nearly 40 YEARS longer than homosexuality was. (Hypoactive sexual desire disorder doesn’t include anyone that has chosen to identify as asexual). However, there’s still a problem. There’s still a lot of blurry lines concerning the definition of asexuality. For one, it requires self-identification, which simply might not be possible because asexuality isn’t represented properly. It also isn’t present in the desk reference version and can be excluded when there’s significant stress - WHICH CAN BECAUSE CAUSED BY THE PERSISTENT EXCLUSION THAT ASEXUALS EXPERIENCE.

Just look at the tag. Browse some forums. Read about people discovering that they were asexual and/or aromantic. Most of them speak about feeling “broken”, “faulty”, “freaks” - is that not similar towards some of the thoughts homosexual people experience upon discovering their identity or being denied it? Can we then conclude that asexuality has some similarities? Aromantic and asexual people experience many of the same forms of oppression that homosexual people might in their lifetimes. And if others didn’t believe that, why did the A in LGBTQUIA change to include aromantics, asexuals, and agender people?

The purpose of LGBT+ is to include a sense of security and belonging. It’s for people that experience systematic oppression, and it’s also for representation and awareness. And have you seen some of the stories that asexuals and aromantics have told? Most of them don’t realize they’re identity until they’re already considered themselves fundamentally different from all their peers, and if that’s not sad, I don’t know what is. Asexual and aromantic people already aren’t accepted by straights, and to deny them even inclusion in LGBT+, that’s just wrong.

Another issue I’ve had is the attack of the word allosexual, which is just another word for a sexual person in the asexual community. It does not hypersexualize people. It literally says you experience sexual attraction to others. It also is not oppressing you. You’re lumped in with your oppressors all the time. If you want to deny the presence of racist or sexist people in places such as the… gay community, for example, then you’re just deluding yourself. You’re not going to be special all the time. Leave the asexual community alone, especially when you already don’t want us to be a part of the LGBT+ community.

And that, I suppose, ends my rant. If that doesn’t get it into your head how ridiculous the idea of excluding asexuals and aromantics are, then you’ve made my point. In that case, you’re officially acephobic and arophobic. Congratulations.

[aroctivitist]

Competições mistas e a diversidade nos esportes

Descrição de imagem: Tiffany abreu comparada com Tandara e Paola Egonu, mulheres cis com desempenhos até maiores que o de Tiffany e corpos na mesma proporção. Abaixo a foto de um time de futebol masculino onde destacamos a diferença entre os jogadores desde o mais baixo ao mais alto e forte. Interessante observar as diferenças também entre Tandara e Paola, como altura.

Czytaj dalej

[aroctivitist]

Call for submissions! AUREA is looking for short written pieces from aromantics about their fears. There’s so much uncertainty in the world and it can help to share those feelings.

[aroctivitist]

Czym aromantyczność nie jest?

1. Nie jest zaburzeniem psychicznym.

2. Nie jest psychopatią lub socjopatią.

3. Nie jest efektem zranień.

4. Nie jest wyborem.

5. Nie jest czekaniem na właściwą osobę.

6. Nie jest oziębłością uczuciową.

7. Nie jest „odmianą” aseksualności.

8. Nie jest zinternalizowaną homofobią.

9. Nie jest niedojrzałością.

10. Nie jest równoznaczne z byciem „łamaczem serc”.

[aroctivitist]

Znaczenie kolorystyki aktualnie używanej flagi aromantyczności.

Ciemnozielony: aromantyczność Jasnozielony: spektrum aromantyczności Biały: pociąg platoniczny, relacje nieromantyczne Szary: spektrum szarej aromantyczności (gray-aro) Czarny: spektrum seksualności

[aroctivitist]

Aromantyczność jest orientacją romantyczną charakteryzującą się brakiem pociągu romantycznego, bądź doświadczaniem go bardzo rzadko. Bycie aromantycznym nie oznacza z automatu niechęci do dotyku i bliższych relacji z innymi osobami.

Aromantyczność nie jest „odmianą” aseksualności i nie znajduje się w jej spektrum. Orientacja romantyczna i orientacja seksualna to dwie oddzielne sfery, nawet jeśli u większości osób się one pokrywają.