artichokebean - Tumblr blog

[artichokebean]

Please understand that when I say I grab you, I don’t mean grabbing your face or arm thats rude and creepy please don’t do that to anyone

When I say I grab you I’m saying it like I’m grabbing you like a potato. It’s my way of saying hey I appreciate and respect you let’s be friends

[artichokebean]

My Internet Friend: oh my work is not that Good. Me looking at their Work:

[artichokebean]

“Affectionate”

[artichokebean]

[artichokebean]

“alphy’s square glasses are inspired by john egbert” - something toby fox decided to say, for some reason

[artichokebean]

solid advice probably

[artichokebean]

the universal experience

[artichokebean]

[artichokebean]

I've received asks on the topic a few times so I think I'd like to address the subject as clearly as I can

Okay, so like. You're on vacation, right? And you decide you want to go swimming. And you could go to a pool, or a lake, or the ocean, or the river. Wherever you want. And you see on the map that there's this one place called The Alligator Hole.

So you go there, and there's a sign on the shore that says "WARNING: ALLIGATORS", right? And you decide to go in. And when you get there, there's alligators. So you get out!

But then you go back in, with a stick, and you start hitting the alligators.

Because you don't want alligators where you're swimming!

And the impulse is understandable, because lots of people don't like swimming with alligators. Alligators are scary. Being in the water with alligators can be very stressful and damaging for people who aren't prepared to deal with alligators.

But at the same time, you must understand- there will probably always *be* alligators. Hitting a few with a stick probably won't eradicate them from the planet. There are SO MANY alligators! All over the world! And the vast majority of them will never ever hurt any swimmers!

And at the end of the day, nobody pushed you into The Alligator Hole, right? You saw a place literally called The Alligator Hole and decided that you wanted to go in there, and then you made life miserable for all the alligators.

Sure, there are places you like to swim where alligators probably shouldn't be- like suddenly, in your bathtub, uninvited and unwelcome, in the middle of the night- but alligators have to go *somewhere*, you know?

So if there are going to be alligators, no matter what, and we don't want to be surprised by them, then isn't it nice that we have places like The Alligator Hole

[artichokebean]

Wait!!! Have you remembered to sexualise and lust after a morally repugnant fictional character today??

[artichokebean]

what is really more embarrassing, wearing a fursuit and pretending to be an animal or wearing clothes and pretending not to be

[artichokebean]

[artichokebean]

I really don't care if Miley Cyrus smoked a bong. She's 18? She can live her own life...

[artichokebean]

[artichokebean]

coming for you

[artichokebean]

“Birds are fed by their parents in their infancy. When the time comes to feed themselves, there can be some confusion when the food does not go into their mouth by itself.”