artists-journey-archives

[artists-journey-archives]

Week 13th: November 29th Creative research and Scholarly research

for this week, I focused on reading The Presentation of self in Everyday life as it was going to be a source for my paper. I found the book fascinating and I liked how it explores how we interact with other humans during different social events and how we end up believing what the person wants us to see (either consciously or subconsciously).

Goffman, Ervin. The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. New York, NY: Doubleday 

Anchor Books, 1959. 

For my creative research, I honestly didn't do a whole lot due to time constraints and also focusing on reading the book but I did try to watch more of the rehearsal on HBO Max and it was as intense as when I first watched it, but with the knowledge I had now, I understood more of the main character stuggles. Still haven't been able to finish the series and I still have qualms about the main character but I do understand more of where he is coming from.

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Week 12: November 22nd Creative Research

For this week, I kept trying to fix the pants and getting it to work. The reason why I did this is because I wanted to be able to not get burnt out during the holidays and also because I had to take care of stuff during the holidays, I wouldn't have as much time as I wanted.

I eventually managed to sew the button fly but then got stuck on how to sew the pockets. It's still not complete but it was a good way to destress during the holidays and helped me not feel so burnt out.

Picture of the pants not finished

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Week 12: November 22nd Scholarly research

For this week, I read some of Carl Jungs theories on Persona as well as borrowing the Presentation of everyday self. The book is a lot to read through so I'll admit I've been slow on that.

However when looking at the definition of Persona, Carl Jung's theory that personas are how people act in social situation (Eternalised. “The Persona - the Mask That Conceals Your True Self.” Eternalised. Eternalised, September 2, 2022. https://eternalisedofficial.com/2021/12/24/the-persona-carl-jung/. ) makes sense and also fits the definition and social context for Larp since you're acting as a character in a specific social situation.

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Week 11: November 15th, Creative research

For this week, I decided to destress by going back to sewing garments. While I didn't want to pursue this, I wanted to keep creating concepts for Larp characters and this was a way for me to unwind but also try to keep my creativity from burning out. I ended up going back to the knee length pants I tried to make and cut out a new pattern and started sewing. I didn't get to far as I had issues with the button placket which ends up with me taking a break and just stoping out of frustration. Even so, this was a good break for me.

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Week 11: November 15 Scholarly research

For this week, I didn't do much on the scholarly research side. This was partially due to burnout. However, I did get recommended Erving Goffman's the presentation of Everyday self as a good reasorce so will look into that. I also did find some research about Persona's from Carl Jung to possibly apply to my research but will have to wait and go into it more.

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Week 9 November 1st Scholarly research

for this section I researched how to create an immersive effect in media. I was interested in making this an aspect of my project as the immersion of being a character is something that is a major aspect of both my project and also the effect I've been exploring.

I ended up being inspired by Ellen Reid and Janet Cardiff who both did an immersive audio experience designed to put you in the moment.

This led me to Binaual Recording which is an effect where you use two microphones to create a 3D sound effect. It basically replicates the 3D sound that people hear in everyday life. I plan on using this in creative research to see what I want to do

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Week 9 November 1st Creative Research 

For this creative research, I decided to go more into me being a character and I ended up trying to make myself as a dnd character with a sheet and everything. I did this because if I was a character for a game, I would need to have a sheet and stats.

So right away, this was extremely hard for me. This is because dnd classes don't exactly translate to real life abilities. Not only that, but I also had a hard time figuring out what exactly I would be in the perimeters of dnd. In the end, I decided to pick a bard since I am a creative person and it fit the best. I only made myself a level one character as I honestly see myself as a beginner especially with this journey into making art. This led me to try to make my skills as close to real life as possible. While I tried to do it, just like the hero forge mini, this was not easy to do and not exactly accurate.

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Week 7 October 18th, Scholarly Research

For my scholarly research, I went back to reorganizing my papers and also trying to find more about bleed. I also tried to found more documentaries about Larp and I found a this video titled "Monster Camp: The eccentric world of role playing" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttmOQvrr7LM

The document consists of interviewing people playing a LARP called Nero and it not only break downs a larp down into the components, but also shows the different reasons why people go to escape. Some mentioned wanting a more exciting, immersive experience while others described wanting to escape for a bit to become some one else ((Real Stories, 2021)).

For me, this not only helped me remember some of the rules of Larp (I was somewhat rusty about some of the rules. But it also helped me to understand the motives of some people wanting to larp and also reminded me how much people find a community within Larp which is honestly something that I somewhat miss.

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Week 7 October 18th, Creatively research

For my creative research this week, I tried to go into another interviewing my character mindset, as that was something that interested me. So I wrote a quick interaction of my character trying to explain her hopes and dreams to me. The ones she didn't get to fulfill since her story ended so quickly.

This one wasn't done due to other work, but I found this one engrossing. I love listening to stories, even if its one I made and this felt like I was having a real bittersweet conversation almost (at least one I could relate to.

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Week 10 November 8th: Scholarly Research 

For my scholarly research, I decided to focus on others experiences instead of my own. I did this because I realized that I has my own perspective nailed down, but besides research papers, I hasn't looked into others perspectives as much.

In order to do this, I made a survey and sent it out to multiple LARP and tabletop groups. I asked things such as how many games are they playing, how they feel about their characters in relation to them, etc. I also asked game masters about what it's like handling being multiple identities in a game. I only got a few responses but I noted that some of people who responded did seem to develop their characters based on certain aspects of their personalities just exaggerated for the character. One person even noted that even those they play different characters with wildly different personalities, parts of their personality bleed into the characters in the form of behaviors.

I also reached out to someone who my professor recommended as I could get a look into how LARP are developed. I had reached out earlier but I ended up not asking questions earlier due to life circumstances. I got a lot of good insight into LARPS and also a bit into bleed. Some people are better able to better differentiate the identity of the character from their own. This might be due to the way the game handles the bleed or also possibly due to experience. this is something I haven't looked into as much as I should so I will look at that over the break

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Week 10 November 8th: Creative Research

For this week, I decided I wanted to go for the immersive video experience as that was what I gravitated the most to. I also realized after looking into other formats as well as my professor showing me an amazing artist, I also decided to try my hand at possibly making 3D audio (which is audio that sounds like its coming from the environment around you and is best heard using headphones). I also decided to play on themes and I chose to have an old character I played try to explain bleed and out relationship from their point of view. I did this because while I always explained things from my point of view, I never tried to explain bleed from a characters point of view and thought it'd be fun to explore.

In order to accomplish the 3D audio sound, I obtained a pair of in ear headphones to be able to record the sound as accurately and I could. Once I did, I got into character and hit record. It did a few tries as I got interrupted and I had to stop to recenter myself and separete me from my character Luca. Once I finally got in a good headspace, I was able to record Luca's statement and It ended up really good. I felt like Luca was in a way right in front of me. So this audio experiment was a success and it's something I defently want to integrate into my project

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Week 8 October 25th: Creative Research

So after looking into more artists and having a bit of an emotional crisis, I started wondering about the fact that when I was doing my research, I brought my characters to my world and my reality. So I ended up deciding to flip the script. I decided to build a mini of myself as a character because I wanted to see what it would feel like for me.

To do this, I used the site hero forge, which lets you make custom mini's based on your character (https://www.heroforge.com). This was both fun and I will admit, a bit weird since I felt like I was trying to direct myself as a character and it was a lot for me to handle at times. Some of the features also didn't completely match how I actually look so sometimes I had to work around it. I ended up creating a decent impression of myself as a character and it was something interesting for me to explore. I did wonder if me being character meant that my identity is a separate persona from my characters or if my characters are just other persona fragments I work around and bring to life.

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Week 8 October 25th: Scholarly Research

For my scholarly research, I looked into different artist that can act as inspiration and also has a similar vein to what I wanted to explore. The artists were found on Art 21, a website that showcases a lot of artist and their works.

One of the artist that I Rachel Rossin who did artwork that was a combination of real life and online blurred together, which was somewhat similar to how players and character (or personas) can blur together. https://art21.org/watch/new-york-close-up/rachel-rossins-digital-homes/.

Another Artist that I looked into was Kalup Linzy https://art21.org/read/big-question-when-do-you-feel-the-most-like-you/. Reading about Kalup's experience being more comfortable as a character than themselves touches me in a way that I feel like describes why I easily slip into other characters. When I do this, there are times when I let go and I feel like I'm more alive than I sometimes am in my day to day life. It got me thinking and I want to look more into Kalup's works and maybe reflect on my own internal feelings about becoming a character..or I guess a character being alive through me.

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Week 6th October 11th: Scholarly research

Most of the time was spend on trying to figure out how to crochet, so I was lacking on this department. I was honestly wanting to create more since while I love research, it felt a bit taxing for me and I wanted a break to focus on creating

However, I did try to better organize the articles I did look into and also reread some of the papers to better understand Bleed and why the line between player and character can be so blurred at times.

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Week 6 October 11th: Creative Research

So for this week, I tried to go back into making the hat but tried it in a different yarn and needle to try to make a costume for haloween. Since Halloween to me is truly becoming. character or someone else for a night, I thought it'd be a fun avenue to explore.

This went out the window as I kept having to unravel the project over and over again. I ended up giving up out of frustration. I'll admit, I finally realize that I do not want to do a physical medium for the project. Or rather, I'm not going to make a sculpture or a physical object for the capstone

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Week 5: October 4th: Scholarly research

For this week, I tried to watch more of the Rehearsal and I found it to be difficult for me. I this this show shows a lot of negative sides of immersing yourself in fantasy and at some points, sometimes I felt like there was such a blurred line between fantasy and reality that it was uncomfortable. I still have a hard tine digesting the show and I can't really tell why.

I also decided to some first person narratives to see how immersive reality can blur the lines in writing. I read a book called family by Micol Ostow (https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/8715499-family) and it while it was disjointed and confusing at times, I found the first person narrative to be as immersive as I can get. It felt like I was reading the rambling of someone who was shattered and was trying to figure out how she got to this point at at times it was just heartbreaking. I felt for a reality that wasn't mine and I think this type of narrative is why I find role-playing games and scenarios so fascinating.

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Week 7 October 18th: Scholarly Research 

For this week, I didn't focus on scholarly research until I had figured out what kind of feedback I needed and what I should focus on.

Once I got feedback, I decided to focus more on sociology and persona's, as this was something that could benefit my project. So I ended up looking into just that.

One fascinating article I found actually discussed persona's on the internet (which isn't quite what I was looking for but given how MMORPG's and even tabletops can be played online, I still found this useful). The paper is called "Creation of Digital Persona" by Heyjin Song. Song describes how Personas evolved on the Internet and how it can be rooted in how humans want to be remembered long after their death (Hyejin, Song. )

Hyejin, Song. “Creation of Digital Persona :Visual Identity on Facebook through the Screen.” Creation of Digital Persona :Visual Identity on Facebook through the Screen. Lund University , January 1, 1970. http://lup.lub.lu.se/student-papers/record/2543279.