as-spring-came-in-october

[as-spring-came-in-october]

In the Land Of Dreams

There's a land in my dreams where you are still alive. You still talk to me, I hug you to sleep. But the dream ends and I am forced to hear Truth. Truth is unkind you know? It is just, fair. Hope and truth in my eyes are at war you see. Whoever made Truth right, must have been blind

In the land of those who hope, the sky is pink. The fields are filled. The scene is euphoric. Every one is happy. But it is a land of dreams and dreams often end surprisingly. You came in my dream last night. A phantom touch and you were gone. The night is kind to dreamers.

You won't be here tomorrow morning I know. You are my dream. I wish you were not. Fate is a cruel mistress. Beyond the pink skies and crimson rivers, I meet you every night in my land of dreams and I hope wherever you are you can dream too.

By @theloudestwomanyoulleversee

Pic credit- @its-ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

In the Land Of Dreams

There's a land in my dreams where you are still alive. You still talk to me, I hug you to sleep. But the dream ends and I am forced to hear Truth. Truth is unkind you know? It is just, fair. Hope and truth in my eyes are at war you see. Whoever made Truth right, must have been blind

In the land of those who hope, the sky is pink. The fields are filled. The scene is euphoric. Every one is happy. But it is a land of dreams and dreams often end surprisingly. You came in my dream last night. A phantom touch and you were gone. The night is kind to dreamers.

You won't be here tomorrow morning I know. You are my dream. I wish you were not. Fate is a cruel mistress. Beyond the pink skies and crimson rivers, I meet you every night in my land of dreams and I hope wherever you are you can dream too.

By @theloudestwomanyoulleversee

Pic credit- @its-ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

...but only so far

But when you're 17

You wanna chase the world,

Conquer the sun,

Make the winds bend,

But at 22 you realise ,

It's futile,

All the ambition you had as a juvenile,

Down the drain your talent goes,

What remains?

Just skin and bones.

A prodigal child.

Homeless and alone,

The world, it snarls.

Who cares?

A mother's curse you can't escape,

Times are changing,

The world is burning.

You come out of your room,

It's winter now.

A blasphemy! you scream at the sky,

No Gods will answer.

There's no book to follow.

Hollowed cheeks, stubborn eyes,

You know hope can't be killed,

But you try to stuff it down your bed ,

Strangle it with your own hands.

However, it rises and rises,

Flowing from your room,

To the basement of your home.

Try again

Try again

It whispers in your deaf ears,

Try

Try

Try...

By @theloudestwomanyoulleversee

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Love poison

Love's supposed to be simple,

But it's love,

Complicating, suffocating, frustrating,

It can't fill your stomach,

But it fills you up,

It's like, you start hating the rain because of someone

It makes you weak but also strong.

It's the most stupid thing but also the most important thing we need to survive.

It's like sword to our throats and air to our lungs,

It's days of lying on the bed, in the same clothes, the pile of laundry stinking through

It's like staying up late to be the last person that says "good night"

It's crying, it's laughing, it's breathing underwater,

it's your soul feeling lighter

It's your soul leaving your body,

It's pain through the veins,

It's knees weak, you're tumbling down,

It's standing up and dancing around.

It's smile, it's hysteria,

It's despair, it's abandonment,

It's hope, it's hope lost.

It's "I love you"

It's "and it'll pass"

It's like knowing you're missing a limb

A phantom touch in the dark

A whispered curse of the damned.

But it's like the sun's first ray

Bright morning light

A mother's hug on a sick day

A lover's kiss,

A singer's muse,

A villain's revenge,

Nurtured, nursed, a forest fire

A baby's first step

Your parents' last breath

It's like walking in rain

Knowing you'll get sick

But it's love

They used to cross bridges once

It's a cursed whisper

But it was once a whispered prayer

A contradiction in itself

Love is simple,

It's simply complicated.

~

@its-ener and @theloudestwomanyoulleversee

[as-spring-came-in-october]

And as I screamed your name,

I called out to God,

My last hope,

And He snatched you away

It's cold, the fog thickens

And I'm lost,

In those very eyes I was meant to be found.

I don't know who I am anymore.

This smile on my face is plastic moulded on the face of a doll,

Hollow, mundane, dead.

And my voice fades as it reaches my ears.

Your name, sounds so unfamiliar,

I don't know who you are anymore.

I never knew who you were,

I fall to my knees.

I'm weak, you were everything I was strong for,

The yellow of the streetlight blinds me

I cross the roads,

Cars pass, they don't hit me.

They don't see me.

I was never there.

I shiver, maybe it's the cold.

Maybe you're not here.

I look for my inhaler.

You took my last breaths with you.

~By @its-ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Fogbound

The fog grips onto the night

The cold seeps into the fabric of the air, as the dark approaches its funeral.

The tree, that I sometimes sneak at from my window, gently hugs his wife as she lies exposed to the cruel cold.

The tiny street dog stares at them, blushes, and makes his way back into the alley.

The road is deserted, every now and then, there's a bike in acceleration, but it's breath is lost in fog, what reaches me is an ever subtle sigh.

The dying fire smirks as it finally extinguishes, crushed under the weight of the never ending dewdrops. He knows he did his best to keep the old watchman warm.

Abandoned fragments of hailstones roll through the sides of the drains.

The two parked cars, guarding the neighbors' house, look at each other in complete annoyance. Their armour turns too cold for this bitter night.

I stare at a faded yellow light emerging from what seems like the threshold of heaven, but it's just fairy lights wrapped around the tree, catching a glimpse of me as I watch him.

~By @its-ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Merry Christmas!

The evening turned a little misty today, it almost hinted the subtle arrival of the sleigh. I see yellow lights, on Christmas trees playing hide and seek through the window panes. The gingerbread man witnesses me almost burning my roasted marshmallows, while I struggle with the last few dishes in my kitchen sink. The sound of carols fade at a distance, soon the church bells would break this stillness.

I go over to my bed, ready to watch all parts of The Christmas Prince in succession, munching on my almost perfectly cooked noodles. Richard and Amber finally kiss as the clock strikes 12. I look over and the whole city is covered in snow. Heaven peeps in to sparkling the streets and once again, it’s Christmas magic all over again.

The cold itself shivers at one glance of the fire place and I walk up to my red and golden Christmas tree, the star on it shines brightly. Its got pieces of my family and friends hung all over it. Her card, his locket, his origami swan… they all reflect parts of me.

The old couple in the next room waltz to “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire” and I feel my lips curling into a smile. ‘The season of love’ they say.

The night darkens and morning comes as day dreams, peeking through the fog wrapped seams. The room is still masked in the aroma of chocolate chip cookies, and I upturn my wardrobe looking for my elite ugly Christmas sweater.

I step out of my house, snowflakes on my cheeks, while that sweet lady from the corner coffee shop hands me an extra brownie… “in the name of the Holiday Spirit”, she says, “and also, I love your sweater”

By @its-ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Ajnabi

But some days I am Grief. Such a strong word. Is it not? Or perhaps I am air, floating, fleeing and as soon as I settle I am lost. Not dust or earth. Oh how I long to be known. Even water would have done for I would have found my stream, or a river. Alas! I am not, I am a nomad, "ajnabi" as the poets say "ajnabi" or "awara" Who knows? I waited. I waited patiently but who would ever hug a thunder? I flow here and there in between little crevices, searching, yearning. Yet this world. This world in all its vastness, all its glory is rather so small for some people. For someone it's you. Just you. Forgive me. It's not my place. Air doesn't own anything. It is free. Dirty, scarce, windy, thunderous, it is for everyone. But I wish that I did. Sometimes when I search for you, I wish I was fire. All consuming, all powerful. Fire is owned, She is fire, blazing and glorious. But it's just my rambles. I hope this never reaches you. I hope I am lost. Lost somewhere else. Never around you. Never around you.

~ by @theloudestwomanyoulleversee

@as-spring-came-in-october

[as-spring-came-in-october]

The Forgotten Letter

Dear Milena,

This world was greedy, yes?

It was a bit cruel too. But as long as humans were there it was never inhumane. At least for a lot of days. Who knows who came first

And who will go last.

I don't know who's going to win this war

But I feel whoever wins would lose the most.

I see little kids hollow eyed, bleeding with death in their eyes

And I wonder which political side they belong to.

I wish you were here, but I feel you're in a better place now.

The smokes have gathered around me now. I think this is my last letter. Perhaps somebody may read it one day. Although I don't think it might survive like me. The world is desperate right now and Hope I feel, Hope is God. Isn't it?

Maybe one day the child that survived the fire may read my diaries and remember the years, the good, the bad. The plant we planted has become a full grown tree now. Remember? The Chinese one?

May this letter reach you whoever it has reached. And you remember the loss, the pain, the heartache, the hope that this war gave. I may not be there but may words reach you and find you away from crumbling towns in a warm home.

Yours,

F. Gazan

By @theloudestwomanyoulleversee

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Dear college me,

I hope your college expectations are meeting the college reality. All the late-night walks, discussion of Indian geopolitics at ‘Sudama chai’, mass bunks, college fests giving you the thrill and the initial sense of freedom. The laid-back attitude of missing assignment deadlines and watching YouTube videos at 2x speed before the test is pretty new to you. Your freedom is no longer controlled by your school time tables. There is however one quote by Charles Kingsley that I want you to write on a sticky note and place it in your room, “There are two freedoms- the false, where a man is free to do what he likes; the true, where he is free to do what he ought”

College life is fun and carefree till you realise there is just six months to your graduation and all the promises you made to that 15-year-old self in class 9th are waving at you from the corner. Time passes way too quickly and is cruel enough to not heed to anyone’s last moment pleads.

You want to study, you want to make friends, you want to feel happy and proud, you want to experience the silly little college love life. You want to make your parents proud. Staying up till 5 in the morning completing an assignment that was due two weeks prior is not the way to achieve it. Skipping breakfast, replacing fruits with McDonald’s isn’t either. You’re on your own kid, you’ve got to navigate a ‘healthy way’ out.

I know you have come across people who would influence you, but remember the ground you stand on. Do not let people sway your principles. If you are wrong, accept it, if they are wrong, do not become like them. Stay in touch with your family, they are yours after all. At the end of your graduation, it would be you holding the degree and it would give you the power to choose your future. Such a wonderful authority to possess. You are the captain of your life, makes life pretty interesting to live? Doesn’t it?

Be honest with yourself. Dream. Live that dream. Gain experiences. Attend events, meet all kinds of intriguing creatures, attend boring college speeches, scroll through Slick app but manage your time wisely.

You’re at a very fragile, gullible age, your mind is like soft clay and it could be moulded into any shape. It could be ‘mud’ or a ‘masterpiece’, the sculpting is in your hands. Speak to your professors, your elders, respect their opinions, go to the person you believe in the most and speak your heart out. Trust the right people.

Over the course of your college life, it is very natural if you feel your interests are oscillating. The very firm belief you had is gradually fading away. Do not be scared, you are just navigating through life and all its possibilities. You are just a human being. I want you to always remember that it is okay to be lost but it is equally important to be found. Believe in yourself. You are ‘you’ for a reason.

Ah, you might be getting late for your class now, I’ll conclude this by saying, you’re good. Now go ahead and grab that cup of coffee with your friends and remember to carry your notebooks. You’ve always been the forgetful kind.

And no matter what you become, what title you have before your name, hopefully ‘doctor’, first and foremost, be a good human being. That is what matters to you, I know that.

Yours lovingly,

Philosophical me.

~By @its-ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Okay I'll ask!

Dil na umeed to nahi na-kaam hi to hai, lambi hai gham ki sham mgr sham hi to hai

--faiz ahmed faiz

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Somewhere Only We Know

When I was a girl the green field outside my house was the largest thing to ever exist. I hated it, afraid if I wandered too far, I'll never find home. Ever wondered if you find what you're looking for will it be enough? Do you see them in the faces of the people you meet? I sometimes see you in the eyes of strangers I find. Strange isn't it? How every emotion you ever feel isn't just yours? How the world didn't stop for your Grief? You are suddenly a woman and you find that Grief isn't loyal. It's not just yours. It's theirs too and suddenly the world isn't as huge as the green field anymore. I don't find you in a strange place. I carry you everywhere in my words, in my laughs and in every wishing star.

But wishes aren't loyal either. What I longed for has already been granted to somebody else, and now I just sit here, at the gates of this not so large garden with all the other people who wanted you. Maybe more than I ever would. Maybe life isn't as long as I misjudged it to be? Maybe happiness is more sacred than the allegiance we pay to fear

By @its-ener & @theloudestwomanyoulleversee

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Dear October,

The sun feels tired now, it is hiding behind the clouds. The flowers are burying themselves under autumn leaves. The ground shrieks every time I walk on it. This is just the same as when we last spoke, the same decoration, the same dying leaves yet everything feels so different.

I blew out candles decorated on a chocolate cake, I got cream smudged on my face, but this time, with different people around. You remember, you were the one who introduced me to them in that last letter you sent me, I’ve still got that saved in my diary.

I meet the best people through you, but before it is time for us to talk again, you end up snatching them from me, it’s almost as if you’re jealous. But, have I ever told you how much I like you? You announce the arrival of winters. The city takes a brown spell and trees stare naked right into my soul. The sound of aartis linger in the sky and the smoke of dhunuchi covers all my senses. I feel seen, I feel I can speak to the air around and it would hear me, feel me, just like I feel the redness of the evening sky.

I think I like you the most because there is always a sense of sadness you bring with yourself. The longer nights, the enhanced darkness, the subtle silence.

Are you too considered just an option? A buffer month between summer flings and winter romances? An abandoned red scarf that’s trying to be the ‘red string’? I hope you answer my questions in your next letter, I’ll be waiting.

In the meanwhile, I’ll be spending my time listening to the playlists I made for you and thanking you ‘cause I fell in love in October, with October, just like ‘girl in red’ said. Maybe that is why I love fall? But I guess we’ll never know. Everything is tasting very pumpkin lately. My coffees are getting warmer and my heart’s getting colder. I miss you, your essence, your colours.

I wish I could stay with you forever. But you slip away and holding onto you feels like catching Halloween spirits. You’re meant to be free, for that is why you abandon nature. I’ll let you go in a careless whisper, just stay with me a little longer, I need to settle old debts with the harvest moon.

Also, October, please be a little kinder this time.

Love,

@its-ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

I know exactly which song needs to go up on my story...

It was just last year when I stalked Spotify to find that exact October theme, and look, it's October again...

Autumn leaves celebrate their adulthood.

'We fell in love in October' plays in the background and I feel shivers running down my spine. Arrival of winters? Failing in love?

My "character development arc" resets and I rush to Starbucks for the pumpkin spiced latte, waiting for the most insane lore to take place.

The wind tastes rust. Eerie spirits ask for "5 more minutes of sleep" before they begin to prepare for Halloween.

Green lanterns get out of stock at Walmart stores.

Soft blankets replace the longing for warmth and tiny marshmallows learn how to float on hot chocolates.

Wardrobes paint themselves in shades of brown. Floral dresses are kept in bedboxes like spring flowers pressed in diaries.

Summer flings turn into winter romances.

Snowman plays in the background as I waltz under yellow light, the taste of strawberries covered in Nutella linger in my mouth, as he cooks pancakes for dinner, his face kissed in flour.

Sonnet 73 takes over Sonnet 18.

The fallen leaves echo "To Autumn", by John Keats.

Poets turn gloomy and the night sky turns hopefull.

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Time

On the left turn there, is the park where you used to play when you were 5,

And the pretty lady you said that you wanted to be like at 7, your aunt tells you died yesterday night.

Ground under your feet you would ask your mother to push the swing a little harder,

And when it would swing higher you would tell her that you almost touched the sun that day.

When you were 10 your teacher taught you that the clouds are not chasing you rather you are chasing them,

And you remember complaining to your father that your teacher has gone mad.

You can't remember who your best friend was at 6 but you remember a sunny day running crazily on the beach holding hands with another person and making promises of falling into wonderland together.

And you are so different yet the same as you were at 17 now at 22,

It's a different country but past doesn't feel like a burden anymore.

No one taps your back when you are alive another day,

No one asks whether have you eaten today.

But the water is still as blue as it was on that summer day,

And little children still run away from the waves,

Even if you don't know anything as much as you did back in highschool,

The clouds still follow you back as you drive from work,

And the sun feels closer when you are sitting on a flight back home.

By @theloudestwomanyoulleversee

[as-spring-came-in-october]

The Boy Who Flew Too High

“It's not about greed”, I plead,

“It is about venturing into the unknown”

I burnt right into the sun

Lest be buried here with her.

No, the wrath of the sun was too feeble to kill me,

It was her rage, I let myself be ignited in,

Hell claims me "an angel befallen"

Possessed by my ambition.

But here I drowned in her ocean eyes,

I finally get to breathe free

“Oh Thetis, thy womb so warm”,

I lay on the seabed, worshipping thy form.

A rebel, a narcissist,

My blood boils, melting my veins

And you all just blamed in on the waxen wings.

I could feel my skin flare,

I shined brighter than stars ever could,

Only fools rush in they say

But have wise men ever seen my Sun?

My sins match her amber eyes,

Lying in her grave, I can finally cry,

Oh, Helios, I am too close to thy light!

She loved me, and I could never say goodbye.

And here I fall, defeated in love,

It was never my ambition,

It was always my fault

And I surrender,

A fallen angel's curse, I am hers, I remember,

I flew, not to reach the sky,

I flew to escape my truthful lies.

I flew to escape what was never meant to be mine.

~By @its-ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Beyond the Looking Glass

Sometimes I just want to go anywhere

Just anywhere,

And float on a cloud,

With the earth there on the ground,

And get lost in the stars,

Way beyond the dark,

And touch something hopeful?

May be the moon,

Then you'd call,

But I won't be there,

Cause I will have reached the stars by then,

May be it's wishful thinking,

But God if I could I would go anywhere,

Just anywhere.

And float with the pebbles,

Deep in golden waters,

Warming my soul with the warmth it always longed for,

And get lost in the narrowed streams

the translucent shores,

a thin silhouette to cross

and i'll be in abyss

then you'd call

but i wont be there

maybe i never was here.

There's a little space there in between the cracks

From where the light comes,

Is it wonderland?

I could join Lucy where the adventure lies

Or may be join a camp with a Centaur

Or maybe run away and hide,

In a forest where the lovers lie,

I could be free, and distant,

Alone and isolated

In a place where I can breathe,

Playing hide and seek,

My happiness, my darkness

And there's a little space there in between,

A light shines.

~By @its-ener and @theloudestwomanyoulleversee