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[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

closed off bbs

*disclaimer: this is all from the perspective of an introvert / ambivert*

Paxton and Devi have a temperament that is slow to warm up, bordering difficult to open up. Despite his social status, Paxton is reserved and quiet, with moments of awkwardness here and there. This is why he was such a mystery to people during the first season: He didn’t really let people in as much. On the other hand, we have Devi who is undoubtedly more extroverted and expressive. However, she is so preoccupied with improving her status and life that she isn't honest with what was actually going on in her mind and heart.

And yet they seem pretty comfortable and vulnerable with one another.

Exhibit A - Devi's version

Prior to this, Devi had begun a quick rundown of different kinds of Indians that Paxton gently tells her isn't necessary. This causes her to hold back a bit.

And then when Paxton jokingly brings up the locker kicking, she suddenly relaxes and reveals what was going on a bit before catching herself again.

Still holding back a bit, she lets Paxton in a little and opens up about her anger and even letting him know that it's an area that she wants to work on.

And then she goes on a full on rant about her identity and ethnicity. At this point, she has only know Paxton for a few weeks, and here she is sharing deep struggles that have surely been around for a while.

There's also the famous scene leading up to their first kiss.

The way she responded after spilling her thoughts once more to Paxton indicates that she definitely didn't mean for things to get so personal and intimate. She takes back everything she said immediately and brushes it off like it's nothing. While she may not have meant for that, the moment they were having tore down her walls a bit and made her vulnerable, comfortable enough to share what was going on.

Exhibit B - Paxton's version

Paxton's moments might not be the easiest to spot and you could completely miss it if you're not paying attention. Maybe you'll also understand it more if you're the type to not talk, but your silence hides the oversharer deep within.

It's safe to say he doesn't talk about his sister often. The moment he starts sharing about her, he spills seemingly random facts about himself. His facial expression changes as soon as he catches himself going on a tangent a bit. The expression screams, "What the heck am I saying?"

He gets a bit awkward as he tries stop himself from sharing further, probably wondering why he was detailing personal stories to this girl he just met and barely knew.

It's also touching to see Paxton, who usually takes more of the listener role, able to express himself so unguardedly. He is able to talk about things with friends like Trent, but for deeper issues, he just can't seem to make them know what's really going on. He's not comfortable expressing this apprehension to them.

And then Devi, who we see ramble and rant to Paxton many times, is actively listening. That's significant because her self-centeredness was her downfall in some instances. In 1x07, when she does listen to someone opening up, like Fabiola with her coming out, she's quick to interject. She's jumping ahead to reply and not letting Fab speak, though she does put all that aside and shows genuine interest in what Fab has to say. Furthermore, in 2x08, when she initially apologizes to Paxton, she's so wrapped up in trying to explain herself that she doesn't immediately sense he's not yet really okay.

Yet in that same episode, Paxton was moved to share what was going on in his head, even if he anger towards her was maybe just subsiding. He may have been hurt, but there is a spot of comfort there as well that moves him to admit how he actually feels about himself. And as he is speaking, Devi isn't thinking about anything but what he's saying, She's not just listening to reply, but to genuinely understand Paxton and help him.

Paxton's moments are so resonant with me as I am a quiet person, but some people just make the atmosphere and environment so safe that you can't help but open up to them.

And for Devi and Paxton in those scenes, they found that person in each other.

It's something they don't understand yet because they were just getting to know each other. Then they're recovering from a hurtful cheating conundrum. They're still learning more and trying to figure each other out. But in their interactions, they found themselves to be quite comfortable with one another. Even if there was lingering awkwardness, they found some level of ease with one another that made them feel safe enough to share personal stories and deep feelings unintentionally, even to the poing of rambling on like the dorks they are !!

Despite the levels of vulnerability they have reached, there is still more to be unveiled moving forward. Devi only just started talking about and confronting her grief in therapy towards the end of season 2 while Paxton, though more emotionally aware and sensitive than most, would rather protect himself by repressing. So I hope they can continue to make space for the other, to make them feel welcome, accepted, heard, and ultimately, hopefully, loved.

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

Coyote Girl

Can I talk about how much I love this scene?

When a classmate shouts out “Coyote girl,” Devi is visibly uncomfortable. Only Paxton knows the story behind why Devi got so close to the coyote, and how it’s something she worries people would think she’s crazy for in believing it was her dad.

Other people start joining in the cheers, even her friends, but she still seems uncertain whether they are laughing WITH or AT her.

Whether consciously or not, Paxton notices her discomfort, joins her, and actively brings her into the cheers, reassuring her that they are indeed laughing with her. And only then does she relax and smile.

Yes, she is smiling in part because Paxton is touching her…because um, hello, it’s PAXTON.

But I have no doubt she’s also smiling because she’s finally able to enjoy this moment. This moment of acceptance and belonging with her peers, about something that she was feeling insecure about. And about something that has felt socially alienating for her, as she is only remembered for being the girl who was paralyzed after her dad died. Here, her grief, though unknown to others around her, led to a moment of connection and inclusion with her peers. And Paxton helped give her this ❤️ but then steps away, so she can enjoy this moment for herself. He supports her in this moment but not in a way that takes the attention away from her. He just helps her feel good about the attention.

And look how happy our girl is ☺️

(Also, side note, look how good a double date between these two couples would be 😍😄 Here. For. It.)

Paxton has so many amazing moments of supporting Devi, showing up for her when others don’t, but I also love this really quiet one that is so easy to miss and around something that he knew was a vulnerable spot for Devi ❤️

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

Eleanor: I'm cold too

Trent: Go sit in the corner

Eleanor: Why?

Trent: The corner is 90 degrees

Eleanor:

Devi:

Paxton:

Aneesa:

Ben:

Fabiola:

Eve:

Trent: Fine, here take my jacket.

Fabiola: I’m cold

Eve: Here, have my jacket!

Devi: I’m cold too…

Paxton: What? *taking off his jacket* I TOLD you to bring layers, but of course you didn’t FUCKING listen and NOW *piling scarves on her* look, I’ve got to make sure you don’t FREEZE to death *taking Trent’s hat off his head* how long have you been cold? you should have said something sooner…

Aneesa: I’m also cold

Ben: well damn Aneesa, I can’t control the weather!

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

There's over 9 million users on Tumblr now. Reblog if you're one of the few who's never EVER left anon hate in somebody's ask box.

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

Watching this gif on repeat wondering which way Paxton climbs up.

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

Daxton nation we‘re getting the iconic Darren and Maitreyi Video logs back :) We’ll probably get more than last time as well cause Devi and Paxton are together now

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

WE NEED MORE FABIOLA AND PAXTON CONTENT IN SEASON 3

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

when she thinks that this is the end

while he feels that it might be the beginning

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

Yes Paxton climbing through Devi's bedroom window when there is a storm outside is romantic but people need to understand the GRAVITY of his emotions or the scene. Pov you are Paxton: And you are climbing through the bedroom window (which is on the first floor not even the ground floor) of the girl who used you for a sex rumor, her mom hates you and she has also cheated on you with someone smarter than you (and you've already been so insecure about your intelligence the whole time) and also kept blowing you off or bailing on your study sessions. You can't tell me he isn't crazy about her. He knew she was genuinely sorry and was ready to forgive her. He was or is hurt but he likes her more than how much he feels hurt (?) He is THAT invested in Devi. I am probably over analyzing here but I feel like he was scared or nervous before he climbed through the window. Why would he text her after he got there? In my opinion, he was scared of being rejected. if you see it from his perspective, this girl who is your tutor kept blowing you off after she cheated on you with someone who is smarter and you unexpectedly show up at her window do you get what I mean? I just had to add that here because it was pretty weird and adorable how he texted her after he got to her window and only knocked after she looked around confused. His expression before kissing her also adds a lot to how he felt. He is hurt but he likes her way more than how much he is hurt. He is also scared but he let himself be vulnerable with her. He's cautious and that is why he didn't want a public relationship. The show did a shitty job and made him look like a jerk.

THIS. Yes I agree, they made him look like a dick in that last episode. His reason was valid but they made him look like a jerk who was embarrassed of her (when he wasn't, he even admitted to the sex rumour Devi started). Even after all this its honestly so annoying for people to say "Paxton never put in any effort to be with Devi" saw so many youtube comments and confessions on that.

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

This post is about Benvi.

I really needed to write something about them, not just because I'm into them again and that makes me a bit sad because of the season 2 finale (Ben's devastated face is still stuck in my head) but because I also explored more their journey through these new season's episodes.

I rewatched all of their scenes together and man, those looks they give to each other.

As I previously wrote in another post, if their eyes could speak they would scream out loud the passion, the spark that ignites wherever they are in the same room.

Ben and Devi are still immature teenagers who can't still express their real feelings clearly, but it's important to not forget that they were both hurt.

Ben is heartbroken, because once again he finds himself to be the second choice to someone he truly and deeply cares about.

He put all himself in his relationship with Devi, he opened his heart to her entirely. When it's revealed that Devi is two-timing them, Paxton is hurt because he likes her but Ben is devastated because he connected with her on a deeper emotional level. So it's understandable how much Ben is hurting.

On the other hand, Devi is hurt because once again she finds herself in a big trouble, facing the catastrophical consequences of her actions: she wanted to choose Ben in the first place, not because she thinks he's more available to her than Paxton. Devi wants Ben since the beginning because he gave her a concrete demonstration of how much he cares about her: taking her to Malibu driving without license to spread her dad's ashes, making her reunite with her best friends and family. Ben's gesture is the key to Devi's heart and she understands that since the first episode of season 2 right after making the pros and cons list for the boys.

This Devi's first instinct: she wants this in a relationship, something concrete and emotionally deep, even though she was obsessed with Paxton through all season 1.

I'm not saying that Devi doesn't have feelings for Paxton at the end of season 2: she does, especially after she saw him changing for the best and with the fact that now she doesn't like him just for his hotness.

But she still has feelings for Ben, and he has still feelings for Devi as well. Just pay attention to the way they look at each other at the dance: the desire in their eyes is right in front of the viewer and the actors were so good at giving us the idea of their hidden feelings.

What bothers me the most is that neither Ben or Devi had the opportunity to show to the other one how much they wanted then.

Devi wanted to choose Ben since the beginning, but Eleanor and Fabiola pushed her to move into Paxton even though she told them many many times how much she was into Ben despite Paxton's attentions.

Ben told Devi he was all in but when Devi broke his heart by running after Paxton (which was understandable since he was the one walking away), he starts acting like a stone cold.

But even though he was mean and a little vindictive towards her (especially when he starts to flirt with Aneesa under Devi's nose), Ben was heartbroken. When people are heartbroken, they do awful things but just because they hurt so much they can't even see straight.

But the amazing thing about Ben is that he's still there for Devi when she needs emotional support: the scene when he follows her to the girl's bathroom just to comfort her is simply beautiful.

Both Ben and Devi are human, they both made mistakes and act awfully.

But they still want to be together so much, despite everything and everyone.

The only thing that stops them from being together is that they both think the other one doesn't want to be with them: Ben thinks Devi will always choose Paxton over him, while Devi is convinced that Ben moved away from her thanks to Aneesa.

I really think Ben liked Aneesa in the first place especially because she picked him, though Devi had pushed him in the two-timing thing with Paxton.

Devi still likes Paxton much more now that she acknowledged how much there is under his hotness.

But both Devi and Ben want to be together, there's no doubt for this: their looks, their smiles, the way they talk and the way they can easily be vulnerable with the other one, the way they push each other to be better. That's something which is so intense and scary at the same time for two teenagers like Ben and Devi who have always been so badly competitive to each other.

But it's undeniable that they have strong romantic feelings for each other.

So that's why the last scene with Ben staring at Devi and Paxton together is more tragic than the Paxton's voicemail at the end of season 1.

These two people (Devi and Ben) really wanted to be together, but they just couldn't because other people (Eleanor and Fabiola, Paxton and Aneesa) came across their path changing the destination that they both wanted to pursuit.

I said that I like both ships (Daxton and Benvi) and that's true.

But I was a Benvi shipper in the first place and I'll continue to root for them this way.

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

Paxton "I'm so going to kiss Devi tonight" Hall-Yoshida

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

Paxton: I feel really bad for being such a dick to you.

Devi: Yeah you really were.

&

Devi: I'm so sorry I yelled at you.

Paxton: Yeah you were really rude.

I just love the sincere way they apologise to each other, and the soft way they call each other out while accepting the others apology.

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

Fun fact:

Benjamin is derived from Hebrew and means favourite son.

So when Howard says,

"Happy birthday, my favourite son"

he is literally saying "Happy birthday, Ben."

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

Daxton and the Triangle

Been thinking about this triangle and what it reveals about the Daxton dynamic, and it's clear that Devi pursues these two guys for very different reasons.

With Paxton, here is this guy that she's yearned for, for years and years, this super attractive, super popular jock who seems so far removed from anything she's ever experienced. He's almost otherworldly, compared to her. Sure she approaches him first, but listen to what she says. Devi was asking for a pity romp in the hay. She didn't ask for a relationship because she doesn't believe that he could ever want that. Want *her*. She even says that. She's simply not good enough for him, in HER mind. She's accused Paxton of this more recently and he's had to defend himself, but the truth is that is what Devi herself thinks. She's put Paxton on such a pedestal, she doesn't think she could ever match up. We see that change a little bit in the last ep of S2, after the pep talk from Mohan when she essentially gives up Paxton for her self-worth. Which is GREAT. But that particular insecurity isn't fully gone I don't believe.

Now on the other hand, Paxton has had his 'Eureka' moment when it comes to his feelings for Devi. At first he definitely doesn't think he wants her either. But the progression we've seen from him when it comes to her; - he's gone from being down for an easy lay, to being intrigued by her, to liking her, to REALLY liking her, to now he's willing to expose himself to ridicule and gossip rather than lose her from his life. He wants to be with her more than he wants to hang on to whatever he had before. That no longer satisfies him. The look he has on his face playing video games with the same old group, doing the same old thing, that feels empty to him now. That's Paxton realizing his feelings for Devi are deep and real and worth the sacrifice of his old habits.

The thing is, I don't know if Devi is at a place where she can fully believe that. Honestly I think her lack of belief in Paxton's feelings for her is the reason for the "triangle" in the first place. How many of us desire something so greatly and when we get it, we don't quite know how to handle what we've always hoped for? That's Devi with Paxton.

So when Ben shows romantic interest, and it comes at a time when she is incredibly vulnerable emotionally, she jumps at it. And continues to because I think she was always half expecting the 'thing' with Paxton to crash and burn. And when things do go awry, she swings wildly for the more "possible" scenario, Ben. Not to bash the ship, but Devi suddenly becoming fixated on getting back with Ben, to the point where she does what she does with Aneesa, that's not her realizing she's madly in love and Ben is all she's ever truly wanted. That's her thinking Ben is more "attainable", more on her level. She wants to salvage *something* out of the whole mess, she doesn't want to be alone again and Ben's the easiest of the two to achieve that. Paxton not being interested is almost exactly what she expected deep down, as evidenced by how quickly she adjusted to that. When he climbs into her window in the rain to kiss her (and say thank you), look at her face, she can't quite believe he's there. For *her*.

By the end of the season though, when she picks her self-worth over scraps from Paxton, and HE makes the deliberate decision to be fully with her, I think the balance between them shifts and becomes more equitable. Paxton is the one she truly wants and maybe she's starting to believe he wants her back too. Props to the writers for being able to execute so much growth in their dynamic over what's actually a pretty short period of time. There are some shows out there that took YEARS to get their main couple to get to where Paxton and Devi currently are.

I expect in future season(s), Devi gets to a place through therapy and LIFE where she doesn't think she screws everything up and where she really becomes confident in Paxton's feelings for her. He's had his issues there also but I think he's turned the corner. And I really do believe that an emotionally healthy Devi will BLOSSOM in a relationship with Paxton. As will he. These two are and can be so good together!

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

hey! do you think that paxton was all take & ben was all give to devi in this season? i'm not so sure if that makes sense...

Hi! Thanks for sending this ask!

Mmmmh, I think I get what you're trying to say anon. Paxton did lean on Devi heavily academically and the whole dating in secret might look like he's taking advantage of her. But he has been there for her throughout S1, helped her when she was crying on the roadside in S2 even though he was mad, let himself be vulnerable and chased after Devi. I don’t know if people realise how much her cheating affected him, he’s been bamboozled by the same girl twice (at least) and is naturally more guarded. And him getting run over by a car, changed his life trajectory. No more swimming. The show didn’t tackle his insecurities well (or at all) but he’s more than a jerk taking advantage of Devi. 

And people saying this probably confused B*n's all-in attitude in ep 1 to him being all give. Just because Paxton wasn’t gushing and sending tons of emojis doesn’t mean he wasn’t any less invested in his relationship with Devi. Paxton invited her to his swim meet, was gutted when he was uninvited to her party. B*n was cruel to her after finding out she cheated, egging her on to get a piercing and seemed to relish in her misery. Paxton looks guilty frequently when he hurt Devi, like with the “crazy Devi” quip or making her do his homework.  B*n and Devi went back to being on friendlier term after she made Aneesa stay. He was being a decent guy by consoling her in the bathroom. Not sure where this idea of him being all give came from??? What exactly did he give?

[as-your-boyfriend-devi]

Thiss Parallel 😂😂