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[ash-mars207]

~~MONKEYS TESTIES~~

((18+ smut))

jschlatts monkey balls statue x male reader. yeah. this was written as a joke but i spent way to much time on it so..

(dont show this to schlatt)

If you have any ideas to add or spelling corrections please comments. I genuinely can not spell for the life of me.

warnings: contains smut, gun play, cussing, mlmonkey, it’s literally monkey statue x reader. the title itself if a warning.

i did refere to jschlatt as ‘Jay’ because nicknames n shit. (it’s annoying to type out jschlatt everytime.) so if someone knows hes uncomfortable with it please tell me and ill fix it.

some backround: you and schlatt have been friends since before lunch club. like fresh out of highschool friends. you both went to college and when he was getting good money from twitch you tried it out. starting as his editor (you still do some of the editing). you both hit it off and both dropped out to make videos. so your a guest on OTKs new video with schlatt when he finally shows monkey.

Word count: 3238

((I had to turn on my auto caps for this. At least pretend to like it.))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/NS POV:

He was serious.. Schlatt was genuinely serious. When he told me he was gonna buy the monkey statue i thought he was kidding. I should have known. It is Schlatt after all.

“Hes a beaut aint he.”

“Schlatt what the hell. Your in debt and this is what you buy??”

“Eh. If harvard really wanted my money they would have sued me by now.”

“Thats not a good thing-“

“Anyways! We have a video to record so say your goodbyes to dick dong.”

“You fucking named it??”

As Schlatt walks out and to the office you take one last look at the ape. He looks like hes looking at you. And for some weird reason your just attracted to those big carved bronze eyes.

“Uh.. Bye monkey..”

The video was going pretty good. We had a bunch of fun little bits. Schlatt kept bringing up the damn monkey. The fucking monkey and his big golden balls. I wonder how nice it would feel to sit on them- YN WTF. NO. ITS A STATUE.

“Y/N!!!”

“Huh? What. What did i miss.”

“You good kid? You spaced out there. Should probably stop drinking the fireball.”

Of course i take another shot because fuck him (jokingly (we stan j man here)) and i can not let myself think these thoughts sober.

“Yeah yeah im fine.” Im not. “Just spacin out. Im good. What were we talking about?”

“Dick dong-“

“NOT THE FUCKING MONKEY- SCHLATT DONT- SIT YOUR ASS BACK DOWN- and hes gone.”

As im waiting for him to come back from god knows where i scroll on my phone while talking to camera man, whos name i forgot but feel to bad to ask, about what ever. And of course we both stop as we hear wheels rolling towards the room- he has the monkey..

“GUYS I GOT KING DICK DONG.”

Please let this video be over soon.

*small time skip*

For the rest of the video we talk about other things, keep coming back to the monkey, the gun gets into the bit, we wrestle or some shit idk. The camera man name is apparently Jermey had to go out and fix one of the cameras battery or something. But every once in a while i keep looking at that damned monkey.. I mean look at it. Its nice craft mens ship (i cant spell). As an artist myself, its nice. The bronze is so detailed and the gold is so. So shiny. Its nice to look at. Does Schlatt polish them? I would. They look soft.

“Y/n. Dude you sure your alright?”

“OH! Yeah im fine. Just a bit out of it. Ill be fine.”

“Hm.. Im gonna go get you some meds alright? Just stay here.”

Great. What i need right now is to be left alone in an office that i dont know.. whatever.

As im playing on my phone i hear metal moving around. And.. is that pink smoke??? What the hell did jschlatt put in that liquor.

“I see you looking at me. I know you want me yn.”

As i turn to look at where the voice is coming from schlatt walks in with the meds.

“This should hold you over for a while. God you got even whiter/paler while i was out. What did the pope come to life or something??”

“Uh.. no. No im good. Just a headache.” I have to force myself to look at schlatt and to stop looking around. What the hells gotten into me.

“Then lets get this shit over with.”

While recording the rest of the video i cant help but feel a pair of eyes on me the whole time. I try to ignore it while we finish the video. Once we finished we just chilled for a bit and talked about new video ideas and when we should hang out, with out the cameras. You know. Bro shit.

“Well i gotta get back to Jambo. Probably eatting more fucking magnets. Little shits gonna run me broke.” As schlatt stands up and walks towards the door he stops and turns to look at me. “You comin with?”

“In a bit. Im gonna start working on editing. I’ll meat you back at the house for dinner.”

“Alright. Don’t stay to long.”

As he walks out i turn to work on the computer. Putting my earbuds in i keep one out just in case. After about an hour or two i hear some type if metal being thrown around behind me an.. whos there.

THIRD PERSON POV:

While y/n was focusing on the computer, music blasting threw his earbuds, something was almost transforming behind him. He didnt notice it until he heard a bang coming from behind him. Being startled, he takes his earbuds out and turn to see a shadow of a freakishly large man in a cloud of pink smoke.

“Whos there!”

Y/n screams while jumping up for his own gun schlatt made him get for the bits. Aiming for the huge shadow.

“I see the way you look at me y/n. Thinking those dirty thought.”

The man speaks in a deep rock n roll voice. ‘Theres no way thats Jay. His voice isnt that deep.. Nor is he that. Big. Is this thing even human??’ Y/n asks himself while squinting to see the black figure.

“Who the fuck are you.”

“Wow. You really dont recognize me? You would thing you would know me after the hours of looking at me.”

‘What in the hell.’ As y/n cocks the gun the mysterious man leaps over the couch like nothing. Pushing the hand with the gun up, setting off a bullet in the process. Leaning in and kissing y/n.

Slowly yn loosens there grip on the gun while Dicky slides his hand up his wrist to take the gun out of the humans hand.

The shorter male pulls away to look at the taller male. (And i mean tall. Mans like 7 something. Your up to his chest and your like 6’3 cause i said so)

“Who.. who are you.”

While trying to connect the dots he spots the empty table that Schlatt rolled Dicky in on. Glancing down he sees that the balls do in fact glow a nice golden color. Dicky slowly smirking while watching yn connect the dots. Laughing a bit watching as the small man infront of him looks back up with his eyes widened.

“Dicky. How did you-“

“Dont worry about it. Just live those nasty fantasies of yours.”

Without skipping a second yn does what hes told and smashing his lips woth Dickys. Of course yn thought about how fucked this is. I mean its a monkey statue but. Human? Ish. He still has his tail and ears but damn.

As yns hands travel to lay on his soft, hairy chest Dickys hand grip his small hips tightly, leaving the other with the gun resting on his hip bone, making yn moan. Dicky takes this opportunity to shove his tongue into yns mouth. Exploring every single bit.

The bigger male pulled away letting them both breath, rubbing yns hips with his thumb.

“Fuck- you taste so fucking good darling.”

As Dicky murmured into yns ear, he starts kissing down his neck onto his collarbone. Yn started unraveling at the feeling, moving his hands up into Dickys hair. Slightly pulling every time he hit a sweet spot. Yn whimpers as the brunette pulled away to look into yns e/c eyes. “So beautiful.”

The beast reaches his hand to place on yns gentel skin. Yn leaning into the touch. Knowing how wrong this must be, yn cant help but feel so. Safe.

*click* “Now get on your knees for me darling.”

“What?”

Yn can feel the tip of the guns barrel press against his temple. And even though he should feel frightened, he still feels just as safe as he did before.

“Yes sir~”

Yn slowly gets on his knees while sliding his hands down Dicky causing him to grunt. Once yn is on his knees he looks up into the eyes of a lust struck mad man. Knowing what he needs to do next he waits for Dicky to demand it.

“Cmon sweetheart. You know what to do.”

“Do I?” Yn asks, trying to get his monkey lover riled up.

He grabs yns hair, pushing the gun into his temple even more. “Don't play with me brat.”

Yn knew he was in for it now. Slowly opening his mouth, he cups his hand on Dickys smooth glowing gold balls. Starting to message them while licking his tip. Dicky, with little to no patience, pushes his huge dick into yns mouth with a moan. Holding him there just for a moment before he lets go and let's yn take over. Almost.

Dicky still has the gun placed by his side facing the h/c man at his waist. Other hand sat on top of his head in case yn needed any more assistance. Slightly trusting into yns deep throat every now and then.

“God that feels perfect.”

Throwing his head back Dicky let out a moan. Yn started playing with his balls once again, speeding up. Before he could send Dicky over the edge, Dicky gripped his h/c pulling him off with a soft pop.

“Stand.” He demands. Yn listened of course.

Dicky starts kissing him once more with much more pasion while moving them over to the couch. Ripping off yns shirt, pushing him onto the couch only breaking contact for a moment. He reaches down to undo yns belt, button, and zipper. Palming him with only the cloth of his boxers in the way. “Ff- oh shit-“ yn became a moaning mess, Dicky moving to his chest/neck area. Playing with yns nipples, he rips off his pants leaving him in just his boxers. Looking back up to yn for consent to continue, yn nods, feeling his dick only get harder by the second.

“Shit- what if someone comes in-“

Before yn can voice his worries Dicky genuinely shoves the guns barrel into his mouth to keep him quiet.

“Then I guess you'll just have to be quiet.”

Dicky slowly inserting his finger into yn to prepare him, making let out small muffled moans. Seeing how easy the first finger slipped in, he added the second rather quickly.

Yn was falling apart underneath the bigger man. Nothing but clouds filled his mind untill he felt Dickys fingers being removed from him core, whining as he now felt empty.

“Quiet. Don't want anyone to hear you now do we.”

Yn nods as Dicky pounds his dick into yns entrance causing yn to let out a scream. Holding in that position to let yn adjust, he starts leaving little kisses over his neck. Removing the gun from yns mouth just to replace it with his lips. They stay there passionately kissing one another until Dicky starts moving his hips ever so slightly.

“Mmh.” Yn moans into the kiss throwing his arms around the bronze colored man, slightly digging his nails into his shoulders.

“Faster. Please.” He whispers into the kiss. Dicky pulls away to look into his e/c eyes.

“Wanna say that again darlin?”

“please dicky. Please just fuck me.”

As if on cue, Dicky starts slamming into his smaller lover. Yn starts almost screaming, clawing down Dickys large back, holding back screams as much as he can.

“FUCK RIGHT THERE!”

He howls right when Dicky finds his prostate. Abusing it to its fullest.

“Im- m close.” Yn manages to get out between moans. He lets go of Dicky with one arm to cover his mouth in an attempt to muffle his orgasm. Dicky, who already placed the gun to the side, grabs yns thin/thick wrists and holds them both above his head.

“I wanna hear those beautiful sounds baby.”

After a few more thrusts yn lets loose and cums over both his and Dickys chiseled stomach. Dicky continues chasing his own orgasm. Releasing inside of yn.

They both sit there catching there breaths before Dicky pulls away to look at his work,

“What a work of art.”

Yn chuckles, “Says you.”

As yn starts to get up to clean up the monkey man grabs his hips, placing him on his lap.

“Where not done here beautiful.”

“Dicky, I need to get home. Schlatts gonna start to worry.”

“He can wait. He's had you all day. It's my turn to play with you.” Dicky nibbles on yns neck once more. Yn places his hands on Dickys broad shoulders. Leaning his head back, letting out a soft moan. “One more round. Then I gotta go.” He kisses Dickys temple.

“That's my boy~”

Dicky grabs at yns hips and slowly lines his entrance to his tip. Kissing his neck.

“Mh- no. No its my turn to control.” “Is that so?” Dicky, calling his bluff, pushes into him even more to shut him up. “You fUck-“

Yn grabs the hairy man's hair, tugging at it. Causing Dicky to scream out of pure shock. Dicky picks the gun back up, pointing it at yns temple.

“Wanna try that shit again?” He growls out, trying to gain his dominance back.

“I fuckin dare you.” Yn states, gripping tighter to his curly locks. He starts lifting himself off Dickys dick just to slam back down. Slowly thrusting and grinding on his dick.

“God that feels so good-“ Dicky whines out gripping the guns handle and yns thigh for support. Yn wraps his free arm around the beasts shoulder, hiding his face into the crook of his neck. With his other hand he slides it up into Dickys hair even more. Tugging everytime he hit the perfect spot. Dicky, chasing an orgams, starts bucking into yn abusing his prostate.

“Damn it- fuck right there~” yn lets out quite moans into Dickys ear driving him other the edge.

“Just like that baby~ dont change a thing. Fuck im close~” Dicky announces. Yn only being able to let out moans and soft screams. His head full of lust and maybe even love.

Dicky once again throws the gun to the side. Tosing his arms around yn holding him close, almost bruising his ribs. His thrusting picks up. Yn lets go off the bigger males hair and thrown his other arm around his neck, digging his nails into his shoulders. With just a few more aggressive thrusts they both release almost at the same time.

Dicky softens his hold on yn to let his ride out his high. Slowly coming to a stop with. They both look into eachothers eyes. Sharing a quick but pasonint kiss. Yn melts into his chest, both hands sliding down to his cum covers abdomen.

“You doin alright there darlin?” Dicky plays with yns hair while rubbing his back. Kissing his forehead.

“M alright.. just need a moment.”

And so they sat there for a few minutes before yns phone started to ring. “Fuckin-.”

Reaching over to answer the call “hello?”

“Yn buddy! Where you at? Its been like three hours man.”

“Shit. Sorry. Ive been workin on the video.” Yn look to Dicky with a small smile while the other male has a huge grin on his face.

“Damnz better be a good bideo then. You need to get home though. Its late and youve got that recording with swagger and them in the morning.”

“Oh yeah i forgot about that one. Yeah im on my way.”

“Oh and jambo ate your papers.”

“WHAT?!”

“BYE-“ He hangs up before he can even finish his own sentence. “What was that about?” Dicky asks lookin down at a pissed yn.

“Schlatt. His dumbass cat ate my work.”

“Damn. You gonna be alright??” Dicky looking worried.

“Yeah? It's just a paper or two. If anything the cats in more trouble then I am. It's not anything important anyway . I keep those away. I do have to get home though.”

“Do you have to??”

Dicky holds yn toghter to keep him from leaving.

“Dicky. If i stay hes gonna start askin questions. And hes annoying when he does so ive gotta go. Ill be back soon dont worry.” Yn kisses Dicky before he gets off and cleans off with the jacket he brought. Getting dresses in his pants and shirt, makin his way to the door.

“Ill see you tomorrow Dicky,” blowing a kiss twoards the ape man. Waving goodbye and closing the door behind him.

Dicky sighs slowly getting off the couch to go clean up. He fixes the room back up and walks to his place of the moving cart schlatt brought him in on. Taking a glance at the pope cutoutin the corner he turned to face away from the couch earlier that day.

“Don't look at me like that.”

WITH YN:

What.. what did.. am i high? No.

Monkey man was real. That was real. I know it was. My ass still fuckin hirts from it. But how in the hell did that- i mean he was a human.! What the hell was in that wiskey..

As I walk in to the door of me and jschlatts shared house seeing jschlatt on the groups playing with jambo.

“So.. how's your head?”

“Haven't gotten any complaints yet.”

“..what.”

“Uh. Good. I'm good. Just gonna relax.”

“Alright whore. I made food so that's in the fridge when you want it.” Bullshit.

“..what did you order?”

“. Chinese..”

I walk to the fridge opening the door to see the food still in the bag. Definitely homemade. Placing it in the microwave, I head over to flop on the couch. Jschlatt crawling onto the couch next to me, Jambo following right behind.

“Wanna watch a movie??” Jschlatt asks while grabin the remote and looking through netflix.

“Do I have a choice?”

“Nah.” Hearin the microwave i go grab it and sit back down. Jschlatts got some action movie on. Hitting his hand away when he tries to grab at my food.

“Fuck off. You already had your dinner.”

“Rude ass bitch.”

As he goes to grab a snack I can't help but to think back to Dicky and what we did. What the fuck am i going to do.

I wanna sincerely apologize- if you’ve read this far then uh.. theres a book two in process. And im sorry for your mental health. And just because i thought yall should know, i wrote moth of this in class so your welcome.