asher-writes

[asher-writes]

Happy Summer Solstice/ Midsummer/ Litha! ☀️🍓🌿🌼🐸

[asher-writes]

Continuing my little experimental studies.

Ari-centered. abuse tw.

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial

I saw my mother's face in the mirror in the fog and the steam. she looked tired as i felt when the death of her sunk deep into my eyes. i thought when death came for my parents i would at least have felt disconnected, melancholic, but no i felt as i always felt.

tired.

she looked at me and said. was it worth it? i didn't have an answer to her question, i didn't know what 'it' was. was it the running away or everything that followed? was it the bruises she left gripping my arm and slapping my face, or the clumps of hair she pulled from my scalp? was it worth it, mother?

ungrateful, she said to me. It could've been worse. that's always what the abuser thinks, lining up their crimes against a cruel god and thinking 'i am not your perpetrator.'

well, i am not your victim.

i lit a cigarette and considered her face, brow furrowed, eyes a dancing light in a darkness that had nothing to do with the night. i remember the first scar she left on me and my hand comes to my shoulder, past a hundred other scars since.

was it worth it? i became violence on those streets beyond these walls, a weapon built from every bruise she had left on me. no scar nor bullet had hurt as much as that first scar.

could've been worse, she said again, that ghost in the mirror formed around my own face. i always looked more like my father, but i had her mouth, her hair. she always had the patience for her own hair, but never mine. i didn't learn how to handle my curls until i met Edward, who introduced me to plant oils and patience.

it's not the worse, i mouthed to my own guilt, it's the pain. the pain you left. i will not forgive you. i will not think of you. you are dead. you have always been dead.

then let me die, she said.

[asher-writes]

[asher-writes]

Im not sure if you’ve seen it but Likelihood Art made a (updated) hair tutorial that’s really great!

https://youtu.be/w7tFNNswsi4?si=aVveDI1gDn4-emM-

Yay!!!! I'll have to watch it. Thank you!!!

[asher-writes]

us and the sunlight

characters from Out of Sight and Mind. 18+ content. Doing some e x p e r i m e n t s for Writing Joy or whatever. this is a saucy one.

Ari/Edward

--

You looked tired after it all, curled up on top of the bedsheets with the sun on the umber of your skin. Where the gold hit, you shone with sweat, and I could see you stir under the light. You slept for a day and a half, and I waited to see your eyes again. Your eyes, the colour of life.

"You were shot," you mumbled to me in the first hour of lucidity.

"So were you," my hand fell against your ribs, fingers tracing above my own shirt that you wore so well. You turned and held out your hand, dragging me closer with no effort; where you lead, I follow, like a dog.

You didn't ask for me to kiss you, but you wouldn't let go once I had. Your lips trembling and warm, your hands prying at my arms. "You were shot," I muttered again, with a quietly nervous laugh. The warmth of the room stuck my shirt to my skin, but your hands did so much more.

"I nearly lost you," you whispered with a whimper. You took my hands and placed them back on your body, as if a second apart would stop your breath. I kissed you again, and let you drag me in, let myself sink into you with all the ease of gravity itself.

The room darkened over the day, but we did not leave. The bedroom door kept shut, you demanded your skin be felt - hot to the touch and pulsing with the sheer relief of living. I slid my fingers into you, desire itself radiating from my touch to my chest, tight with heat, and my stomach, tied in figure-eights.

"I can't believe we're doing this," I muttered, your-my shirt drying my hands as you lay, naked and legs-spread on the mattress. You smiled weakly as I sat on my knees, looking down at where the light turned your skin to ochre and your eyes to the gold of caverns undiscovered.

"In general?" You never lost your humour, even with stitches in your side. "Or because we've both been shot?" You lit a cigarette, using my shirt as an ashtray, to save my poor sister from a fit. It's not as if anyone could ask you to go outside. I opened the window, where the dew of sex had made it difficult to see outside.

The breeze was cool on my hot skin, and I took my own shirt off and left it on the floor, relieved by the air. Shade was starting to come around, and I wondered for the first time how many hours had passed. My forearm ached, my tongue tasted sweet, my fingers cramped around a cigarette of my own. It must have been two, but I could've gone for more. I did go for more.

"I don't know," I finally admitted around a mouthful of smoke. It was dense in the air; my throat burned from its dryness, but I wasn't leaving this room for water, food, nor air itself. In here we were safe. From others, from guilt, from shame. My shoulder ached from my own aftermath, but I was never averse to painkillers.

You refused the codeine, said you had enough problems to deal with. I felt pride, awe, perhaps. You hadn't moved from your back and the sheets were wet with our sweat, your pleasure. "Do you need a hand?" I wondered.

"I like being on my back," you winked, laughed, then asked for a glass of water. For you, I'll leave the room, I supposed. Whatever you needed, I would've got. I would've pulled the sun from the sky with my bare hands had you asked. I'd already killed a man for you, after all.

[asher-writes]

Sorry for tagging your art with just # oogh or # oh. Just know this means im profoundly moved

[asher-writes]

A little experimental piece. Ari/Edward.

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial

@gabe-killed-me-with-ace-cream

--

The first truth. He tastes like some sweet fruit and the cool rush of ice in the heat. The sun comes down on him and the smell of something like fruit and earth - mixed oils on his black skin - rises like a cloud with his sweat.

The second truth. He is the most beautiful man he's ever met. His eyes are the colour of life, as if flowers would bloom from the very part of him. There was no truth too heavy for his hands to hold. No part of his skin not warm enough to touch. No god on heaven and earth as sacred to behold.

The lie. He does not love him. He does not spend every morning and night craving him. His mouth does not feel dry without the touch of his lips. His skin does not feel wrong without his touch. He does not yearn for him with every cell of a broken heart that keeps his rotten blood pumping. He does not feel like a lost sinner abandoned at the pit of a burning altar when he is left alone.

He was made to be loved by someone who was not so godless. Someone who could treat him with better care. Not him. Not him.

[asher-writes]

✨FFF 308 Masterlist

Thank you for all your wonderful entries last week! We loved reading all of them ^^ (If we missed your entry, please let us know)

Consider checking out your fellow writers’ pieces, give out those likes and reblogs. The new prompt will be up at 12pm CEST <3

[#FFF308 The Price of Peace]

Their Peace by @your-reluctant-optimist

Life or Death by @tsarisfanfiction

The Man in the Fire by @mmaricarmen23

the price of peace by @lizardperson

The Longest Day by @renee-writer

The Price of Peace by @cljordan-imperium

I know the place you left still won't leave you alone by @it-s-blue-ink

The Price of Peace by @aquadestinyswriting

inside your lonely fortress, the battle's just begun by @anonymousdandelion

Faulty Intelligence by @lisbeth-kk

Return for peace by @colection-of-chaos

The Cost by @pulletandraptor

Silence by @asher-writes

All Things have Their Cost; Some are Measured in More than Gold by @druidx

The Price of Peace by @ginneke

The Price of Peace by @justnerdy15

Outpace the Dawn by @cocoamoonmalfoy

Stochastic by @hd-literature

What remains by @explosiontheory

bleached out by @drowning-in-cacophony

The Price of Peace by @nyamadermont

Army of the Damned by @ruvastuon

Between Sisters, an Eulogy Bloodied by @aalinaaaaaa

The Price of Peace by @frozenwolftemplar

Expensive Love by @baubeautyandthegeek

Peace Keeper by @elycwinters

It Lives! by @zorilleerrant

The Price of Peace by @landofspaceandrainbows

A Battle of Internal Conflict by @abitscripturient

The Unluckiest Woman Alive by @houndsofcorduff

Solo col tutti by @scatteriskity

El precio de la paz by @leighrobertsreads

Silver Magic by @betweenthetimeandsound

Worth It by @genesisgrey

The Price of Peace by @tessall8ion

Two Choices by @katblu42

The Price of Peace by @janetm74fics

[asher-writes]

Thank you thank you!

Guys google is being ridiculously fucking useless and my local libraries have the worst cataloguing system on this earth.

I am trying to find adult fantasy written by Black authors. I don't want non-Black authors. If you have recommendations, books that you know of, please let me know. Please reblog this post, even if you don't know of any, so it can reach more people.

Thank you!

[asher-writes]

Thanks for the tag @oh-no-another-idea

Rules: take this uquiz to find out if you're a soldier, a king, or a poet, then use this Picrew to make yourself as that!

The Soldier

"There will come a soldier who carries a mighty sword, he will tear your city down" Righteousness. Strength. Violence. You see a door and break through it. You wonder, sometimes, if anger is the only thing you can feel. Remember : love is passion too. You made your own rules and will follow them to death. You try and forget that there is only one rule, and that it is "FIGHT". You are tired of fighting. You try to forget that, too, and keep going. You dream of quiet. Your love is where you heal. God knows you deserve to.

Open tag!

[asher-writes]

That Time a Published Author Told Me to Un-Queer My Novel

So, I don't think I ever shared this story on Tumblr before.

As you may know I've spent the past ten years turning my old Welcome to Night Vale fanfic into a stand alone novel called Echo of the Larkspur. Now, I haven't been working on it ten years straight. I'd pick it up, do a bunch of editing and rewriting, submit it to agents/publishers, get turned down, put the book away, wait 2-3 years, dust off the book, re-edit and rewrite, etc etc. A cycle that repeated itself far too many times that I would like.

Well, during one of these cycles when I was in the 'get rejected by every agent and publisher I submit to' stage I asked the writing group I was in what I was doing wrong. Because at this point I had reached a hundred total rejections and I was starting to suspect that the issue was with me.

One of the members of this writing group, a male author who was traditionally published, offered to read my first chapter and give his advice on how to fix it. This was, in retrospect, a mistake. But I was desperate. I sent him the first chapter and waited for his response.

Folks. The email he sent me changed my life.

First he said that agents wouldn't publish my novel because it was Sci-fi with hardcore gay erotica in it. This is curious because while the book certainly is queer, at no point in the conversation with this man did I say it was hardcore erotica. Nor did the first chapter feature any. It's almost as if he assumed that just because something was gay, it had to be hardcore erotica. Interesting.

He went on to say that a Human/Robot pairing was weird and that there was "No Way" my story could seriously address the issues of a relationship like that. Once again, he only read the first chapter. He just...assumed I wouldn't think of that? And that my book wouldn't cover it?

The author then said “I also felt that the LGBTQ inclusion really seems to cloud things.” Direct Quote.

And then this is when he said my favorite quote of them all:

The idea of a book being a sci-fi with romance AND a mystery is a Modern Art Marzipan Owl. It's just too confusing! No one can handle a story that is a mystery in a sci-fi enviroment AND has a romantic subplot! THEIR BRAINS WOULD LITERALLY EXPLODE!

Thankfully he had a solution to my book problem. His answer? Turn the book into an Action Spy Thriller and turn S.A.G.E., a robot that identies as a gay man, into a sexy lady robot who needs a MAN to teach her what it means to be human.

(I assume the male lead will teach the 'confused' female robot how to be human via his penis.)

Now my favorite part about this advice is that at no point did he outright say "Remove the gay part". No, instead he sneakily changed the robot love interest into a female robot as if I wouldn't notice. Just sort of swept away the gay bits as something totally unneeded and just mucking up the narrative. Also that's not the plot of my story, I have no idea where this virus thing came from.

(Also note that the female robot can't be robotic-like at all. Must preserve the average straight-man sex drive at all costs I guess)

He then finished his email basically saying that I should remove everything that 'traditional publishers' don't like (aka the queer parts) and make it easier for 'your average reader' to digest and my book will be good as published!

When I said this email changed my life I meant it. Because it made me realize I'd rather be self published and unknown than traditionally publish milquetoast trash like he suggested. Like holy fuck. If I removed all of the "Difficult" to digest stories out of Echo of the Larkspur then there wouldn't be a book left!

So here I am. Self publishing my Marzipan Modern Art Owl of a book. I know it'll never see the inside of a bookstore or top the charts on Goodreads but hey, I'd rather it speak to one person than have a thousand people get excited for the part where the male lead teaches the lady robot how to be human (via his penis).

If a Queer Sci-fi/Romance/Mystery novel sounds like your jam then consider preordering it!

Looking for something to read now? Can't afford the book? Willing to read in exchange for an honest review? You can join my ARC book readers here!

[asher-writes]

Thank you so much!

Guys google is being ridiculously fucking useless and my local libraries have the worst cataloguing system on this earth.

I am trying to find adult fantasy written by Black authors. I don't want non-Black authors. If you have recommendations, books that you know of, please let me know. Please reblog this post, even if you don't know of any, so it can reach more people.

Thank you!

[asher-writes]

@tobias-fell had a visceral reaction to your username because im literally halfway through my second reading of thirteen storeys, like ive just put the book down for a minute and then saw you reblogged my post xD

Guys google is being ridiculously fucking useless and my local libraries have the worst cataloguing system on this earth.

I am trying to find adult fantasy written by Black authors. I don't want non-Black authors. If you have recommendations, books that you know of, please let me know. Please reblog this post, even if you don't know of any, so it can reach more people.

Thank you!

[asher-writes]

thank you very kindly!!

Guys google is being ridiculously fucking useless and my local libraries have the worst cataloguing system on this earth.

I am trying to find adult fantasy written by Black authors. I don't want non-Black authors. If you have recommendations, books that you know of, please let me know. Please reblog this post, even if you don't know of any, so it can reach more people.

Thank you!

[asher-writes]

Thank you so much!

Guys google is being ridiculously fucking useless and my local libraries have the worst cataloguing system on this earth.

I am trying to find adult fantasy written by Black authors. I don't want non-Black authors. If you have recommendations, books that you know of, please let me know. Please reblog this post, even if you don't know of any, so it can reach more people.

Thank you!

[asher-writes]

Thank you! I've added this to the reading list!

Guys google is being ridiculously fucking useless and my local libraries have the worst cataloguing system on this earth.

I am trying to find adult fantasy written by Black authors. I don't want non-Black authors. If you have recommendations, books that you know of, please let me know. Please reblog this post, even if you don't know of any, so it can reach more people.

Thank you!

[asher-writes]

Guys google is being ridiculously fucking useless and my local libraries have the worst cataloguing system on this earth.

I am trying to find adult fantasy written by Black authors. I don't want non-Black authors. If you have recommendations, books that you know of, please let me know. Please reblog this post, even if you don't know of any, so it can reach more people.

Thank you!