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ashercvans-blog · 8 years ago

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enough is enough - asher & brad

Basically: Asher and Brad really don’t get along and now they’re on a break. Warnings: None. ** This picks up from where their last argument left off.

Asher was not expecting this sudden aggressive affection from Brad at all. And while he's normally one for sudden sex, literally right after a heated argument was not what he wanted. He put his hands on Brad's shoulders and pushed him back. "Wait, wait-" he stopped him, frowning, "I'm not letting you try to fuck my anger away. We can have sex, but not until we're okay again. I'm not letting you do anything until we talk this out like proper married couples do. And don't try to fake anything just 'cause you want to stick your dick in me; this is serious."

Brad scoffed. "This isn't about me fucking your anger away, and God, you know I hate using that word. But that's not what I'm doing." It really wasn't. Brad just wanted to take his frustrations out on Asher sexually. Not the same thing. Just the other way around, that's all. Asher had it a little wrong. Brad pushed Asher only lightly, letting the man fall on his back so he could hover over him. "We can talk after this." Brad wet his lips, pushing Asher's feet apart a bit so he could fit himself beneath him.

Asher never once has worried about Brad forcing him into sex. Everything has always been clearly consensual, and even then, they still have a safe-word. Asher's never once felt uncomfortable being intimate with Brad until now. "No," he said, no hint of humor or lightness or anything in his tone. "Get off of me. I'm not – I'm not letting you just – dodge a conversation, an important one, at that, because you want to have sex. There will be no talking afterwards. You either sit with me and we'll have a discussion about what to do with this problem we have, or you can get off of me and leave."

Brad sighed. He took a deep breath, backing away from Asher. He was still sitting on the bed though, but he just kept his distance. "What is it you'd like me to say that I haven't been saying, Asher? I've apologized to you, which I think is far more important than apologizing to Bryan, and you don't care for it. I won't know what to do unless you tell me, and if you're up for a guessing game, I'm not. So tell me what to do." Brad hated when he and Asher fought. It was awful, and he hated it. He hated also how much they'd fight and he couldn't fix the situation. It made him feel hopeless.

Asher tried hard not to roll his eyes. They weren't yelling at each other, and he figured if he did his best to remain calm then it wouldn't escalate to that again. "The fact," he began slowly, calmly, "that you're even asking me that means that you did not listen to a single thing I said earlier." Asher straightened out his shirt, a bit crinkled from Brad's rough hands. "I don't care for your apology because you didn't mean it. You don't feel bad about what you did to Bryan, you don't care that you broke a promise to me because it meant that you got to have your way. You're only apologizing because you think it's what I want. But I don't want a half-assed apology; I want one you actually mean, and I want you to apologize to Bryan, too. He has a kid, y'know, and she's going to see her father with a bruise. He's already told me he's not going to mess with you; I'm sure he'll have no problems apologizing to you as well."

Brad rolled his eyes. "And I already said to you that I'm not going to apologize to him. I'm not. And I do mean my apology to you. If you don't think so, then too bad." Brad scoffed, pushing himself out of the bed. "Honestly, your need to have your own way all the time is fucking annoying. Do you know that? You do know that a marriage is about compromise and letting go, sometimes? You don't do that. You can't not win an argument, Asher. You aren't happy unless everything is the way you want it. Well guess what, you're not getting your way this time. I'm not doing what you want just to please you." Brad didn't even bother to continue the conversation. It was just the same argument over and over again. Every time they had an argument, it was just repetitive shit because Asher refused to listen.

Asher was getting so annoyed with Brad to the point where he didn't even want to argue anymore just for the sake of maintaining his sanity. Brad always did this, never actually listened to what Asher had to say and instead just attacked his character and said things completely unrelated to the conversation at hand. "I don't always want or need to have my way," Asher corrected him, trying very hard not to snap. "Me trying to get you to understand that what you did was wrong and that you need to own up to it does not mean I'm being bossy or whatever or that I want my way. This has nothing to do with 'getting my way', this is about you being an idiot. This isn't even a 'winnable' argument; it's not a fucking competition to see who can say the wittiest retort, and you thinking that it's that just proves how immature and how incapable of having an actual conversation you are. But sure, blame everything on me, try to make me out into an awful human being and then just insult me even more when I don't want to engage in your 'I can't handle talking to my husband about something I'm too prideful and ignorant to deal with' sex." Asher closed his eyes, collecting his bearings, and then reopened them to look at Brad once more. "I think we need to take a break from each other."

"Whatever you want." That's the only thing Brad would say. If he responded, Asher would feel the need to respond and it would just be a never ending cycle of them arguing, even if he didn't agree with what Asher said. He headed to the living room and got the bag he'd left on the floor. He made sure he had his wallet, his pager, his phone and some clothes for work. He didn't intend on coming back any time soon.

#p #p:brad #this is a lot shorter than i thought it'd be

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ashercvans-blog · 8 years ago

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moody music - asher & aiden

Basically: Asher gets music lessons from his ex Aiden, but plot twist, he didn’t know he’d be getting lessons from Aiden and they don’t actually go over the lesson. Warnings: None. ** Occurs before the big Brad and Asher argument.

Asher knew how to play the piano and the trumpet, but he's always wanted to try his hand at guitar. It seemed like everyone and their mother's stripper knew how to play, and he figured he might as well try his hand at it. Besides, Brad was mad at him still, Phoebe was at school, and he had a day off; might as well do it now, was his reasoning. So, because Asher's lazy, Roger Kipton searched for music teachers to send to his son. He had texted Asher a few days ago that he found someone and they'd be over today, so Asher had spent his afternoon tidying up his house, hiding stray pairs of boxers and cleaning the sink, putting Phoebe's toys away and making sure the cat's litter box was clear. First impressions are important, y'know? Asher decided to make cookies, too, for his teacher, because why not. He forgot momentarily that he sucked at cooking, and it was when he was pulling a smoking tray of black cookies out of his oven when the doorbell rang. "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, okay," he swore to himself, throwing the tray away and waving a hand in the air to fan away the clouds of smoke. "Coming!" He shouted at the door. "I tried baking and it didn't work so please ignore the s-" His sentence stopped as soon as he opened the door and saw Aiden standing on the other side. If Aiden were to squint, he'd be able to see Asher's soul leaving his body and his palm instantly starting to sweat. What was he doing here? "Um."

Aiden felt like he should've known what he was getting himself into, except he'd been so busy that thinking about anything more than once until the moment it was about to happen just usually didn't happen. When Roger Kipton of all people had asked him for guitar lessons, he should've put the pieces together; that Asher had wanted to learn guitar but Aiden had never gotten around to teaching him, that Asher's dad probably hadn't moved since the last time he'd gone to Asher's house, and that Asher would probably always be under his dad's wing. It all clicked as he knocked on the door, and then wished he would've realized before he'd knocked so he could just walk away - text Asher's dad and tell him he randomly decided to move again or that he was being arrested so he'd never have to hear from him again. Upon first look Asher looked... downright tired, and flustered. The house smelled like burnt cookies, which wasn't surprising because Aiden had always had to pry a spatula out of Asher's hand. He pushed the thought away immediately. "Uh..." He wasn't sure if both of them not knowing how to react was better or worse. "... Uh..." Still speechless, he held up his guitar case, as if it held an explanation (it sort of did). "You know, uh-." His words were forced and aborted. "This doesn't have to happen, I can just..." He pointed a thumb over his shoulder, worrying at his bottom lip.

"Why're y-" Asher was frowning, eyes watering slightly from the smoke. And then Aiden lifted his guitar case, and while it took Asher a few seconds to piece it together, the moment it happened felt like a train immediately crashed into him. "Holy shit, are you m– no, there's no way my dad would hire you to– what the hell... Um. Okay." Asher pushed a hand through his hair, head canted up to the ceiling as he took a deep breath before looking at Aiden (who was still a few inches taller than Asher to the point that he had to look up at him). "Okay. So. It's been how many years since we've last spoken? Five? Six? Whatever. It's been a fuck long amount of time but we are, like, adults now. Mature adults who can handle this. There is no reason why we can't handle this." It'd be more convincing and maybe even inspiring if Asher's voice wasn't hesitant the entire time. This was his first relationship ever standing across from him. His first love, the second person to ever have sex with him and then the only person to do so for over a year; Aiden was a lot to Asher and always would be. So this was weird, okay? He's justified in rambling. "Come in, I guess." He held the door open, adding, "sorry for the smoke. I wanted to be a good student, or whatever, and make food, but I c– I don't know why I'm explaining myself, you know I can't cook. Point is, I tried." He shrugged, heading past the kitchen and living room and down a few hallways until he got to a spare room with nothing but a piano tucked into a corner and his trumpet case. "We can practice here."

Aiden's eyebrows went up as he listened to Asher, even though he seemed to be convincing himself more than Aiden at this point. There were a lot of residual feelings that Aiden didn't particularly want to deal with, but him and Asher had gotten along fine until Bryan had barged into the picture and Aiden didn't see a need to be mad at Asher. He'd made a choice, and it'd taken Aiden a while to accept that choice, but the point still remained. Still, he didn't want to be around Asher if it was going to make him uncomfortable. "Hmm, so does that mean you're a teacher's pet?" As he followed Asher inside, shaking his head as he went over to the windows to crack them open so that the smoke would disperse. He glanced around the room Asher led him into, humming as he set his guitar case down, shrugging his backpack off his shoulders. "So, good news is you already know how to read music. Bad news is, you already know how to read music, which means you'll probably be impatient with yourself."

Asher shrugged, leaving the room to grab two chairs for them. He answered from the other room, "I don't think baking cookies makes me a teacher's pet. Not now, at least. But if I was younger and you happened to be my teacher then, too, then yeah, I'd probably pull out all the stops to impress you." He reappeared with two chairs, both half his size, ungracefully setting them down onto the floor. Asher snorted at what Aiden said, waving him off with his hand. "C'mon, Crenshaw. It's not like playing the guitar is going to be hard or anything. You just hold the thingy and – pull the stringies. Or is it called plucking? Strumming? Whatever. You just touch the little string things and hold the other string things and it works and sounds pretty." Asher had mastered the piano when he was three and the trumpet when he was seven (both facts he had told Aiden before when they were dating – Asher had honestly told him everything about him, from his favorite color when he was eleven to the day's he visited his mom's grave) it was safe to say he was a bit cocky about his musical abilities.

Aiden hummed, but didn't say he disagreed. Asher would definitely be in more of a tizzy if he weren't talking to Aiden. "Plucking and strumming are different, but both of those, yeah." He smiled in spite of himself; leave it to Asher to overestimate himself. Then again, he wasn't tooting his own horn for nothing. "Alright." He took a seat, cracking open his guitar case and pulling it from the depths, setting it in his lap. "Basic guitar anatomy-" he jumped right in because he had nothing else he wanted to ask Asher about, "body, neck, head, frets, strings, base board." He tapped each part of his guitar as he spoke. "Mostly you work with the frets and strings, sometimes body comes into play. Really only mention the base board because when a string breaks you take the screws out of the base board to change them out. Doesn't happen often, unless you don't know how to tune it and pull the strings too tight." He shifted the guitar in his grip and held it out to Asher.

Asher was smart. He knew it, people who knew him knew it. He was a chemistry major who made all the big, fancy American universities think he was attending on their full ride international scholarships, only to end up attending Austen's because of Aiden and a baby mama. But now, sitting there, and listening to all this musical stuff had his brain drawing a blank. Music was not like quarks. He blinked, slowly accepting the guitar. And now he felt dumb in front of Aiden, which was embarrassing, and shit, now he was turning red. "Fuck my father, honestly," he muttered more to himself than anything. "Oh, um, by the way," he looked up from the guitar, "can these lessons, like... Stay between us? I know that sounds so sketchy and with that whole Bryan Brad thing I'm sure you've heard about, it doesn't do much to boost my character, but. Brad knows you're my ex and I didn't know my ex would be giving me guitar lessons – which, as stated before, doesn't make me, like, uncomfortable or anything – but you are and I know he's gonna' get, like, super insecure and pissy about the whole thing and I don't want him to have it out for you like he does for Bryan, so. Not that you can't defend yourself or anything. But, like. I mean, doesn't this whole thing remind you of, like, some soap opera type shit? Past lovers reconnect without the spouse knowing?" Asher sighed, tacking on a bit softer, "if this whole thing with me and the shit I always find myself into makes you uncomfortable, or you want out, don't feel bad in leaving. I'll be – it'll be fine." 'Cause truth is, Asher was happy to see Aiden. And yes, he's married, he knows, but Aiden was his first love, okay? And he hasn't seen him in years, even though they left off on an awful foot. Is it so bad that he's simply happy to see him?

Aiden blinked owlishly, raising an eyebrow as Asher began to ramble. He definitely had heard about the drama going on with Bryan - if Bryan was in the picture there usually was some drama to be had. Aiden didn't want to make things difficult in Asher's marriage. The only thing he'd ever wanted was for Asher to be happy, but hearing him ramble he wasn't sure if that was the case. He wasn't sure if he was mad or upset or what, but he was definitely feeling something. Not at Asher, but Asher's situation. "It doesn't make me uncomfortable. But I don't want to get between you and Brad's relationship, either." Considering the way things seemed to be going, he just might mess things up without even meaning to do so. "... I'll keep it between us if you want, but you really should talk to Brad about it. It'll probably make it worse if he finds out on his own." He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. "... It's up to you, Asher. I-..." His feelings weren't important here. Asher was married. He'd been married for a while. "What do you want? I'll pack up and leave right now if you want."

"No, don't go," Asher immediately objected, clearing his throat soon after and looking back down at the guitar. "It's, y'know," he shrugged, "nice to see you again, is all. This might give us a chance to, like, I don't know, bond? I know last time we talked was rough, so. Maybe we need this, y'know? I can try baking cookies for you again." He looked up at Aiden again, giving him a small smile. "Brad... He might have an issue but don't worry, I'll take care of it if there is. No one's getting punched on my watch, not this time." He was not having another one of his relationships get hit in the face. Asher cleared his throat once more. "What about you? Do you have a special someone who might get a little weird upon finding out you're here with me?" Because last time Asher checked, which was years ago, Aiden was with Evan, and this whole thing was kind of sketchy, after all.

Aiden chewed back a smile, looking away at the same time Asher did. "Yeah... I wasn't in a great place. I'm sorry about that." He was in a better place - or he tried to be. "Mm... maybe nix the cookies, unless you let me help you." He laughed, and then swallowed it. He wasn't sure how comfortable he was, if Brad was going to have a problem with him being here. It was Asher's and Brad's home. He scoffed a little, shaking his head and trying to find somewhere in the room to look. "No. Single as the day we met." Which was very. "Unless you count my dog, but you probably don't." He pulled out his phone to show Asher his screensaver of Lilo. "She just turned 6."

Asher waved his hand in dismissal. "No need to apologize. You had your reasons and I should've been more understanding." Where would they be if Asher hadn't been so bitter about Aiden leaving him for Australia? Would Asher have a different last name? For the first time in years, Asher laughed along with Aiden, saying between giggles, "you can help, yeah, that'd be great, but we, and this house, for that matter, would probably be better off with me just handing you the ingredients and whatnot." Asher's smile died as he heard Aiden's answer. Oh. "Oh. I thought you and E- never mind," he quickly scrapped his sentence, because it was none of his business as of now; if Aiden wanted to delve more into the topic, then Asher would gladly listen. The smile returned when he saw Aiden's dog. "Holy shit. What the fuck. She's so cute. Hang on," Asher gently laid the guitar down and hopped off the chair, leaving for a few minutes and then returning with his (technically Brad's) small dog, Charlie, in one arm and his cat, Fuzz Lightyear. "These are my non-human babies. Say hi to Aiden," he cooed, letting them down and watching Charlie immediately scamper to Aiden. "I love how productive this guitar lesson is going," Asher chuckled, sitting back in his chair. But maybe that was a good thing, that they're enjoying each other's company so much that the original purpose for being together has been pushed aside. It's leaps and bounds from where they left off.

Aiden shook his head. "No. I still need to apologize, trust me." He waved his hand back, huffing out a sigh. "Yeah, that might be best. Don't want to burn the house down or something." With how strong the smell of smoke was in the house Brad would probably thank Aiden later - maybe. It wasn't surprising to him that Asher immediately steered the topic away from Evan, but he shook his head hastily. "No, it's okay. It wasn't dramatic or anything. We just worked better as friends." Himself and Evan had stilled talked for a while, but just didn't have much in common and Aiden did almost nothing so it was hard to talk. And once Evan had moved they couldn't even just sit in companionable silence together. "He's married now! To Andrea, which-..." He shut his eyes, shook his head, then moved on himself. He shoved his phone back in his pocket, jaw dropping open as Asher brought the animals into the room, scooting off the chair to the floor as the dog wiggled over to him. Why he'd initially come was completely forgotten. "Oh, hello! Hi there, buddy!" He let the dog sniff at him and then continued to pet it, minding the cat as it approached him more hesitantly. Then he began to pet the cat too, baby-talking each of them and eventually just lying on the floor as he doted over them. "Oh, shit. Yeah." He cleared his throat, but didn't get up from the floor.

Asher smiled softly at Aiden's apparent rage at whoever Andrea was, commenting, "I take it that she's not your favorite person." He sat next to Aiden on the floor, not knowing whether to pat his legs like ol' pals might do as he said, "it's okay. You're an amazing, talented, incredible person, one of my favorite people ever despite everything, and it's his loss if he doesn't get to have you." Asher watched, a mix of fond and proud-parent like, as his pets lost their shit over Aiden. He'd take a picture if he didn't think Aiden probably wouldn't like that. "Are you free next week? We can probably do an actual lesson then. And maybe, in the mean time, your dog and my dog can meet and be best pet pals? I dunno', seems like a cute idea to me, at least, and it means we get to spend some more time with each other, too."

Aiden shook his head. "No. She's just-..." Dumb? Annoying? Anything Aiden had to say wasn't nice, so he didn't really want to say it, especially since he was still cool with Evan. "I think he deserves better, that's all." It was easy to think but hard to explain. He blushed, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "It's fine, peach. Really," he insisted, and then seemed to realize what he said and blushed harder, backtracking; "Ash. Asher. Uh-." Fuck. There went that, he guessed. "Yeah, I'm free. Well... Technically not, since this is supposed to be lesson time, but you know. Yeah." He glanced up at the forgotten guitar, but not for long because the ones were begging for his attention the moment he took his eyes off of them. "I think Lilo would like some friends. I haven't been to the dog park in a while." He felt kind of guilty about it, but he'd been locked up in his flat writing music and aside from just going on simple walks with Lilo and teaching he didn't get out much.

Asher could only nod to show his support. And then peach came up and, well. It certainly was a surprise, hearing that nickname, and for most people it'd make them feel awkward, but no, Asher started laughing because, "holy shit, I can't believe you called me peach back then 'cause of my ass. That's amazing, Aidennn." Peach was what Aiden called him, and Asher used to always call him by his first name, but would drag out the 'den' and use a sing-song voice. It was effective for when he wanted affection. He scrunched his nose up gleefully at seeing Aiden red, glad he officially now wasn't the only one who blushed horribly in the half hour they were together. "Sounds good. Should we meet here again? Or, y'know, someplace else?" Asher was kind of hoping they'd pick a different location; Brad's work schedule shifted constantly, and Asher never wanted to reach the day where his husband came home to Asher with yet another ex. "They'll have a little doggy date," Asher smiled, reaching over to scratch behind Charlie's ear. "We'll be like proud parents, watching our children and making sure they don't get too touchy. That's what my dad would always do when you came over to ours."

Aiden hardly resisted the urge to reach over and nudge Asher in retaliation. He shrugged his shoulders up, puffing his cheeks out. "I put you in as the peach emoji in my phone and it just stuck," he explained. It was true enough; the first time he'd actually met Asher and had started dealing to him he hadn't remembered his name, so he'd put him as the peach emoji so he'd remember Asher was the cute guy with the nice butt. He wasn't sure what it was in Asher's voice that made it sound like he was hopeful they'd meet somewhere else. He decided to oblige. "We can do it at my place if you want." He'd have to clean, and organize his stuff so that Asher wouldn't know that he lived like the human embodiment of a trash can - Chinese take out and sheet music and all. "Your dad used to watch me like a hawk. As if I were going to snatch you up and get you into drugs." He winked.

"Cute," Asher hummed. "You were always 'boyfriend', but in all caps and, like, five hearts. It's embarrassing, thinking back at it now." Aiden was his first, though, so. Asher didn't really know, back then, all the dating ethics and what was cringe-worthy. But he was seventeen, he's practically expected to be weird at that age. "Can you believe that if Daniel had never sent me to get weed from you, we'd probably never have met? Crazy shit, innit?" They would've never met, because Asher and Aiden come from wildly different backgrounds, and Asher would probably have just gone to a different school. It was mind boggling to think about. "Do you still live in your apartment?" While Aiden's apartment was a bit old and in a sketchy neighborhood, it was home to Asher. He spent so many nights there with Aiden, finishing homework together and talking about the future and watching TV and baking food together and then getting baked and having sex. If Aiden still lived in the apartment, it'd be a huge throwback for Asher, walking through the front door again. He'd feel seventeen all over again. "He really did," Asher smiled, lying on his back as he reminisced, "remember when he gave you, like, a two hour speech just on how he expected you to treat me?" Jeez, Roger Kipton was so overbearing on the both of them. He required Aiden's number and texted the both of them constantly whenever they were out with each other, and kept an eye on them in the nearby room whenever they'd chill in Asher's living room or bedroom. Imagine his shock when he found out they weren't using protection. "But he really did love you, y'know. Once we hit one year he honestly considered you part of the family." That is, until they broke up in a heart shattering way. But no need to bring that up. "Loved you enough to probably not kill you as fast if he were to find out you were a dealer."

Aiden grinned, shaking his head. "No, it's not embarrassing. I think it's cute." He'd been colossally lucky to be with Asher; he doesn't think anyone he's ever met has loved him that much - not in the way Asher loved him, at least. And he'd gone and fucked it all up. He think he'll always be mad at himself about it, but you couldn't cry over spilled milk. He had to live with even the bad choices he made. "Yeah. You came strolling into my shit neighborhood with your expensive shoes. I thought you were going to get your ass kicked for sure." Not that anyone would ever mess with Asher if he was talking to Aiden - he'd lived in that neighborhood for a while and people had learned not to mess with him very quickly. It mostly had to do with his other ex but... he wasn't eager to think about it. "No, I've moved since then. Cleaned up my act, got a real job and a nice place. It has a balcony and everything. And a tub." Those were things Aiden hadn't been afforded growing up, and things he couldn't afford when he'd first gotten his own place with said other ex. "I can send you my new address, though," he nodded. "Mm, I like your dad, though. He really cares about you." It had come out of left-field for Aiden, who grew up pretty invisible except to run to the corner store to get booze. Hearing that Mr. Kipton had thought of him as family tore at Aiden's heartstrings in a way he wasn't prepared for. "Y-yeah..." His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat as he laid down too, curling up and feeling his heavy heart lighten a little as the cat immediately sat on his face. "God... like, I know I fucked up. But sometimes the weight just resettles on me." He took a deep breath. "You guys were my family, too. I'm so dumb..." He hugged the cat to his chest, burying his face in his fur as he tried to recover.

"You think everything is cute," Asher countered with a smile, watching as Charlie sniffed at Aiden's feet. He closed his eyes as Aiden talked about their first encounter, remember the whole situation perfectly. He'd been scared shitless, being in a sketchy neighborhood like Aiden's, about to ask some guy he didn't know for substance he had never been exposed to before, only to meet one of the most handsome men he'd ever come across. "We were such opposites yet worked so well," Asher mused, feeling warm and golden and soft inside. It was nice, being away from all the Austen's drama to be right here, talking about the times where he was indescribably happy. Asher's eyes snapped open, though, when he heard that Aiden moved, and he sat up, looking down at him. "You have a tub now?" He gasped, eyes bright because "holy shit, look at you, living all luxuriously! A tub, wow. I'm so proud of you." And it was all genuine; countless times he had offered to buy Aiden a three-story house, anything to get him out of the apartment, so hearing now that he's in a better place honestly made Asher's day. The happiness died down as the mood was brought to a somber, tense tone. Asher frowned, reaching over to squeeze Aiden's hand softly in reassurance. "You're still family," he told him softly, earnestly. "Anytime you need anything, you can come to me or my dad and we'll take care of you, honest. You were my first, Aiden. My first relationship and my first love. Those never leave a person. You'll always have a special place in my heart 'cause of that. My dad will always view you differently than he will Brad because of that. You're always welcome to come home to the Kiptons."

Aiden pouted, but Asher was probably right. At least a little bit. Asher had always read him really easily, even when Aiden thought he had his walls up. Maybe that's just because Aiden had a bad poker face or something. "Yeah, I remember when you texted me. I was so confused I thought you were high already." He snorted, propped his head up on his hand. Everything with Asher had always been easy - being with him, loving him.. Aiden had to swallow his thoughts real quick. A feeling he didn't particularly want to feel started to bubble in his chest as Asher took his hand, but he squeezed it back anyways, even though he was sure that he'd probably smack himself for it later. "Yeah, a tub," is all he managed, voice still kind of wobbly and quiet. Listening to Asher talk wasn't really helping, but maybe he needed to hear it. With Jaxson always moving around because of her job Aiden had almost no constant in his life but his dog. And he liked it that way sometimes, but he really did need someone else in the picture. "Oh? How does your dad view Brad then?" He snickered slightly, peeking up from his where his face was still buried in cat fur. "Sorry, I'm grateful, really. I just don't feel like crying right now," he laughed weakly.

"Holy shit, remember the first time I got high?" What a mess. Asher had been fumbling, trying to copy every move Aiden made and not burn himself or drop anything, and within moments, he was high and red-eyed and giggling to Aiden's neck about nothing. Needless to say, Asher loved bragging to his friends about his college boyfriend who was a drug dealer. Asher shrugged, leaning back down on his back. "He views him as a dad would view his son-in-law but, I meant, like– he's not my first, y'know? You are. It goes back to what I was saying, about that whole you never forget your first thing. So if you two were in a room he'd see Brad and view him as my husband, but see you and view you as my first everything, as the standard he set for Bryan and Brad. If that makes sense? I dunno', the smoke from the cookies did something to my brain, I'm sure." Asher smiled softly at Aiden's apology, saying, "it's fine, cry in Fuzz Lightyear's fur if you need to. He's here for you too, y'know." And then, "do you want to bake the cookies now? Cookies make everyone feel better, and I don't like seeing you sad."

Aiden snickered. "Yeah. You were a mess. I would've helped you if you'd said something." He shook his head, smiling fondly. He also wouldn't have let Asher smoke so much, but it had been too late when he realized all of that. "I'd just assumed you'd smoked before since you knew Daniel." It wasn't an off-base assumption, really. He also remembered one time coming to get Asher from school so they could get pizza and remembered feeling like a huge creep around a bunch of secondary school kids, nineteen going on twenty years old and towering over almost everyone in all his six foot one inch glory. He'd been questioning his choices as a person, really, until Asher came out to meet him. "Mmhmm..." It was weird to hear that term attached to someone concerning Asher - son-in-law - and it felt heavy. So was the fact that Brad was Asher's husband. That was weird, too. He'd dated Asher for a whole year before he'd left, and hadn't thought twice about marrying him. He was too engrossed in other things - too used to people leaving, and too used to leaving himself. They were young, too. Marriage had always felt like something for future him to deal with. But he'd loved Asher. He still did, but it was inappropriate to say it. And unfair. So he said nothing. "Must've set the bar pretty low." He wasn't sure if he was being down on himself or down on Bryan and Brad. Well, maybe not Brad. Aside from being kind of jealous Aiden had nothing against him, even if Brad did have an attitude towards him when they'd first met. "Yeah. Maybe we should just make cookies," he agreed.

Asher knocked the side of his foot against Aiden's. "Nah. I wanted to impress you." Asher always felt like he had to, because after all, he was a last year who somehow managed to get into a relationship with a college boy; he had nightmares about the day Aiden might realize Asher was just a nerd. Asher scoffed, shaking his head. "Set the bar low?" He repeated, amused. "Aiden, love, I came home after every date and talked to my dad for hours about how much fun I had and about how in love with you I was and how I'd been practicing writing 'Asher Crenshaw'. You gave Bryan and Brad a pretty high standard to match. Don't underestimate yourself, yeah? You're incredible." Sure, Aiden's leaving to Australia was the main cause for their split, but still, he had been a fantastic boyfriend. Asher stood up, brushed off animal fur from the back of his jeans and held his hand out for Aiden to take. "C'mon," he grinned, "let's bake cookies and enjoy each other's company."

Aiden hummed, smiling slightly and bumping Asher's foot back. "Well, you just seemed silly, instead." It was true. Asher never had to impress Aiden, but it was kind of nice that he'd wanted to. No one had ever gone out of their way for him before at that point. He flushed, burying his face into his arm in embarrassment. "Well, I appreciate you not telling your dad how baked I got you during some of those dates, peach. He would've murdered me for sure." Aiden did really try with Asher; he wanted to do things right that time. Granted, he'd still messed up. But while it had lasted... god. He sighed, detaching himself from the cat and reaching for Asher's hands, pulling himself to his feet. "Okay. Sounds good."

#p #p:aiden #it gets sad but it also gets nice

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