ask-an-aroace

[ask-an-aroace]

shout out to all the bitches NOT having gay sex this pride month

[ask-an-aroace]

Happy pride month specifically to folks on the asexual and aromantic spectrum who oftentimes feel isolated and left out of the conversation. You belong here as much as the rest of us and I hope that you are all loved in a way that is comforting to you.

[ask-an-aroace]

Satisfactorio

[ask-an-aroace]

The funniest shit about asexuals is that all of us grew up consuming media that talks on and on about sexual attract and desire, with a pretty hypersexualized culture and people talk about it a fucking lot too. And what is that we all collectively think? "Yeah, that's clearly an exaggeration, nobody actually feels like that! The whole world it's pretending, that's the only possible explanation..." Like sure buddy, that's a very logical way of thinking, the entire world is acting, don't think too hard about it

[ask-an-aroace]

aromanticism deserves to be celebrated outside of the context of asexuality.

aromanticism deserves to be accepted and discussed without even mentioning asexuality.

aromantic allosexuality deserves to be celebrated.

aromanticism, on its own, with nothing else added, is fucking awesome.

[ask-an-aroace]

Probably ace somehow and probably aro somehow are valid ace and aro spectrum labels.

[ask-an-aroace]

TUMBLRINAS I NEED YOUR HELP!! I’m writing an essay about expectations surrounding romance through the lens of aspec identities for my creative nonfiction class. I have several short interview type questions and I’m trying to collect as many responses as possible.

If you identify as asexual, aromantic, or anywhere on the spectrum pls consider taking a look at this google form:

[ask-an-aroace]

as someone who did the ace -> aroace -> aroallo journey I am curious...

* feel free to tag or comment with an explanation if you feel comfortable to!

[ask-an-aroace]

People said that Tumblr isn't a great place to post original art that isn't fanart, but I'm doing it anyway because I haven't got the motivation to draw anything else

Happy pride month lads! 🧡💛🤍💙

from an aroace potato :)

[ask-an-aroace]

People are now calling aros homophobic for saying "love loses" and disliking the phrase "love is love"

I don't dislike the phrase "love is love" because I'm aro and I hate the concept of love and I want to trample on queer joy and I don't understand the meaning behind love is love.

I dislike the phrase "love is love" because I don't believe that minorities should have to say "we're just like you!" In order to be accepted. I dislike it because it doesn't apply to all queer people, (including bisexuals, gays, lesbians, etc) but people treat it like it does. I dislike it because it's a product of a sex-negative society that deems queer people to be disgusting sex pests and instead of going "that's fucked up because there's nothing wrong with sex" people go "that's fucked up because we're not like those dirty disgusting predators who want sex without romance (coughalloaroscough)". I dislike it because arophobia is rampant in the queer community and people will throw us under the bus for points and have. (Stonewall UK posted a tweet acknowledging aros during aro week and other queer people called us predators and implied we were cishet invaders) I dislike it because the word love is shoved onto aros and whenever we say "please don't" people just redefine it to force it on us. I dislike it because there are better alternatives. I dislike it because rainbow capitalism has taken it over. I dislike it because it just feels a bit overused and cliche at this point. I dislike it for plenty of reasons, from legitimate to petty. Because I'm a person, not an evil aro who wants to destroy the queer community.

Aros, for a very long time, have had the word love used against us as a tool for our oppression. (Yes, love can be used to oppress people) And a lot of aros are sick of not being represented in queer spaces. The community puts so much emphasis on romantic love in an effort to not be the stereotypical sex obsessed queer but that leaves out aros. And people will be like "it's to uplift gays, bis, and lesbians" but there are aromantic gays, bis, and lesbians! I'm an aromantic bisexual person! I am directly harmed by the whole "we're not dirty sex pests, we can love (romantically) just like you!"

I, and many other aros, dislike the phrase love is love because it leaves us behind in the dirt. We often feel like the dirty side of queerness that no one wants to acknowledge. Saying "queer love is real love" isn't a bad thing, but having that be the one and only thing queer people ever talk about leaves out a portion of the community and we're allowed to talk about it.

"Love is love" doesn't represent me as a bisexual aromantic person. Not everything has to represent or include me but it would be nice if just one thing did. My version of queer joy is not represented by love is love and I just want a fucking alternative that does include it!

[Don't tag as ace/aroace or derail]

[ask-an-aroace]

Good luck during pride month to all the aroaces who are gonna be blasted with "love is love" everywhere

Edit:

This post includes aplatonic people, loveless aros and any other people who fall anywhere on the aro and ace spectrum.

Stop saying "but theres platonic love and familial love-"

[ask-an-aroace]

Hey there! Allo from before! Thank you SO much for answering my question (and so quickly too)! I've been doing my fair share of research and please, note to self, never go to the reddits r/actuallyasexual and r/actuallyaromantic, those subs are so weirdly aphobic toward everyone who isn't 100% no asexual/aromantic attraction. Like damn, I did NOT know some other ace people shat on demis and grays so bad and as an allo, I don't know whether to laugh at the hypocrisy/absurdity, or cry because DAMN- Anways, yeah, thank you for answering! Now, I'm going to shove your reply to my other ask in my demirose bf's face because he keeps thinking that he can't use the term, 'aroace' because he's "intruding".

Oh noooo I hate that those communities are clearly so toxic!! I know some aro/ace people get (understandably) defensive around "validity" and other communities have shown before how that can turn people exclusionary in a way that ends up shooting themselves in the foot later.

Glad I could help!

[ask-an-aroace]

enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.

[ask-an-aroace]

Hey there, allo here! I have a question! Google is playing keep-away with the definition of aroace. Some people say 'belonging to both spectrums of aro and ace', some say 'little to no romantic and sexual attraction' and some flat-out say '100% no romantic and sexual attraction'... Which one is it? Hell! I consulted reddit and then fell into a rabbit hole of, 'Demi and gray people are just low-libido allos/allos with standards!' (Not cool btw, demis and gays, I see u!). I've asked this question a couple times before but I practically got stoned by the comments, so I'm hoping its safe to ask here. Thank you!

thanks so much for reaching out! as with every label & identity, people will identify with them for different reasons. The most common definition of aroace is someone who is on both the aromantic and asexual spectrums, so both of your first listed definitions are true for that

personally i dont find it useful to limit the definition to people who are fully 100% aro and ace, but for some people that aspect might be important for their own personal identity. in general though i think its wrong to then enforce that on other people

basically, anyone who finds the term aroace useful for finding community that they relate with, or for understanding themself, is free to use it in my opinion - labels are fluid and personal and messy and as soon as we turn them into boxes they cease being useful

[ask-an-aroace]

If you did all the same things with friends vs romantic partners, would you ever date anyone?

Arospec - I would still want to date people

Arospec - I wouldn't want to date people

Arospec - Wouldn't want to in this situation or IRL

Arospec - It depends / Unsure / Other

Alloromantic - I would still want to date people

Alloromantic - I wouldn't want to date people

Alloromantic - It depends / Unsure / Other

Questioning - I would still want to date other people

Questioning - I wouldn't want to date people

Questioning - It depends / Unsure / Other

[ask-an-aroace]