ask-the-kh-gang - Tumblr blog

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Sora, Riku, and Kairi--you know there were boats on the island, right? Why didn't you take those instead of wasting all that time building a raft?

Riku: "Those were Sora's dad's boats. We couldn't just take them."

Sora: "Yeah! That would've been just rude."

Kairi: "But running away without telling anyone wasn't, for some reason." *laughs*

Sora: "Well...we were just kids then."

Kairi: "It was really just a few years ago, Sora."

Sora: "Huh."

Riku: "I dunno. All I knew was I had to get off the Islands. Everything was so--tight. Claustrophobic. I felt like I could barely breathe."

Kairi: "All I knew was that I didn't want to be left behind."

Sora: "Who would've thought that later all we would want was to get back?"

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Hey boys, are you aware that Kairi managed to completely forget that you existed for a significant period of time???

Sora: "Yep, she told us everything. It's not like it was her fault--it's probably more my own for letting the Organization play with my memories, hehe."

Kairi: "I still feel awful about it. You two are the most important people in my life, and I completely forgot about you."

Riku: "Between forgetting your friends exist and letting a creepy evil guy possess you and hurting your friends, I'd say that one of those things is significantly worse than the other."

Sora: "Riku, the only person here still mad at you about that is you."

Riku: "..."

Kairi: "He's right, Riku."

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Sora!!! Sora!!! You're in Smash!! How does it feel? Are you excited??

Sora: *waving his letter excitedly* "Of COURSE I'm excited!!! WOOHOOOOOOOOO"

Kairi: "Sora, do you even know what 'Smash' is?"

Sora: "Nope, no idea."

Kairi: *sighs*

Nora: "Super Smash Bros. is another game that exists in our world where a bunch of characters from numerous different games get together and fight for sport. It's a crossover game, it was practically made for you."

Sora: "Oh. Makes sense, I guess."

Sora: *peering at the letter* "But Donald and Goofy can't come? Whyyyy?"

Nora: "Copyright."

Riku: *confused* "Copyright?"

Kairi: "Sora, wouldn't having two people fighting with you be cheating?"

Nora: "Tell that to Duck Hunt."

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Hm. Now I want to compare Gaston and Terra to see who has bigger pecs....

Terra: "I think we all know who would win--"

Aqua: "I don't know... have you seen the guy?"

Terra: "What?! I would EASILY make him look like a STICK FIGURE--"

Ven: *looks down* *puffs out chest*

Nora: "...yeah, I'm not getting into this."

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Wasn't Vanitas like, highkey abused by the old man Xehanort and like, not evil by default?

Nora: "I'm not aware of any abuse on Master Xehanort's part, but I wouldn't put it past him."

Nora: "As for his not being evil by default...well, I cannot speak plainly in earshot of the kids for fear of...let's just say, adverse affects, but recall that you and I are privy to certain information about events in the distant past that they are not. Master Xehanort may have believed that Vanitas was merely a manifestation of Ventus' inherent darkness, his other half, but the man was not omniscient, as much as he wished to be. If I may speculate...I'm not certain that Xehanort knew entirely what he was getting into when he extracted Vanitas from Ven's heart. No person is evil by default, of course, but Vanitas I fear was more of an...entity."

Nora: "My apologies for not speaking more plainly. But if despite the evidence there were a way for Vanitas to be redeemed...well, you know what these kids would be doing in a heartbeat."

Ventus: "..."

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Marluxia, Are you obsessed with roses?

Marluxia: "'Obsessed' is a strong word. But do I have a certain affinity for them? Certainly."

Nora: "I would concur. After all, flowers do have a certain correlation with remembrance..."

Marluxia: "..."

Marluxia: "...just who are you, again?"

Nora: "Ah, do you really expect me to be forthcoming with that answer?"

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Namine, What do you like to do in your spare time?

Naminè: “Uhm…well, I really like drawing, but I suppose you know that already…”

Naminè: “I did do a lot of daydreaming while I was in Castle Oblivion, if that counts. Still do…I like to make up stories in my head, though I’ve never had the courage to write them down…”

Naminè: “Oh, and Aqua’s been teaching me and Xion how to knit. The boys pop in sometimes to mess around, but the only one who has actually stuck with it is is Roxas, surprisingly.”

Naminè: “Really, I think my favorite thing to do is just be with my friends. Not having to imagine them. It’s…not something I’m used to.”

Naminè: *whispers to Riku* “Did I do that right?”

Riku: *whispers back* “You did fine.”

Nora: “Well now I wanna read those stories.”

[ask-the-kh-gang]

as a vanitas simp

i'd like to know the wayfinder trio's opinion on vanitas pretty please

Aqua: “‘Opinion’? If he ever goes near Ven ever again, I’ll ensure that smug grin never curses the sight of man ever again.”

Terra: “That snake should be glad he never fought me. I have a bit of a track record when it comes to scarring faces.”

Ventus: “He can go step on a Lego.”

Ventus: “In all seriousness, as I’ve said before, I’m pure light, and he’s pure darkness. We’re kind of opposed by definition. And no matter how much you might want to, you can’t forgive someone who doesn’t want to be forgiven—although I can’t say I feel like I could right now.”

Kairi: “Also, as someone who just learned what ‘simp’ means…why???”

Nora: *shrugs* “You asked for it, Anon.”

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Hey Aqua, have you ever seen Terra doing one handed pushups? Is that something your master taught you or is Terra just like that?

Aqua: *sigh* "He does it all the time, but it was something that he taught himself how to do when we were teenagers...I would complain, but honestly, all of his failed attempts and subsequent injuries were a catalyst for my mastering Cure, so..."

Ven: "I heard that when he was young, he ate four dozen eggs every morning to help him get large. And now that he's grown, he eats five dozen eggs so--"

Terra: *kicks down the door* "--I'M ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF A BAAAAARGE"

Nora: ...I don't want to know what fluke of interdimensional-metacommentary allowed them to do that.

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Sora, What's your reaction to fangirls?

Sora: "I have those?"

Nora: "...yes. In their world, quite an abundance."

Riku: *snickers*

Nora: "Um, Riku, I'm pretty sure you own half the fandom."

Riku: "..."

Sora: "'Fan...dom'?"

Kairi: "What am I, chopped liver?"

Nora: "...you have haters and simps."

Sora: "HATERS?!"

Kairi: "Simps?"

Nora: "Looks like I'm going to have to give a lesson in internet colloquialisms."

Riku: "As for around here, we're not as popular as you might think--we kind of straddle the line between 'local celebrities' and 'local oddities.' We were already considered kind of weird before our adventures started, and then we started going missing for years on end, and thanks to the whole 'order' thing, we're not allowed to tell anyone about what's been going--"

Kairi: "--he's lying. Or he's oblivious. The girls follow them like moths. That's why I asked Olette if I could borrow her bat...for intimidation purposes, of course."

Nora: "...yikes."

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Terra, What would your reaction be if Aqua wore Cinderella's dress?

Terra: *flustered* “…ah…um…”

Terra: “—s-she would look absolutely lovely, of course—n-not that she doesn’t always look lovely! She’s beauti—I MEAN, no, no no, that’s not what I meant—NO, that IS what I meant, of course she’s beautiful, it’s just that…you know…I…ugh…”

Aqua: *completely oblivious* “You know, I’m not sure that shade of blue is really my color. It’s a little too light for me.”

Ventus: “Well I think you’d look nice in anything, Aqua!”

Aqua: *tousles his hair* “Aww, thank you, Ven!” *walks away*

Terra: “…”

Axel: “Swing and a miss.”

Nora: “Sheesh. That was a train wreck.”

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Aqua, do you consider Ven to be like a son to you?

Aqua: "Oh, I wouldn't say that...it might not seem like it sometimes, but he's only a few years younger than me and Terra, after all. As he came to us at such a young age and in such circumstances, I can't deny how protective it made us of him, but I'd call it more of a brotherly affection than anything else--"

*loud thump*

Aqua: "--what was that?!"

Ventus: *shouts* "--MOOOOM! I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND I THINK I MIGHT'VE BROKEN SOMETHING--"

Aqua: "--DON'T MOVE, I'M COMING--" *bolts*

Terra: *chuckles* "Liar."

Namine: "Um...shouldn't you get over there?"

Terra: "Nah. She'll just tell me I'm getting in the way."

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Did anyone know goofy had a son?

Sora: "EXCUSE ME?!?!"

Kairi: "Ummmm. No????? Did you, Riku?"

Riku: "I...I had no idea. I wouldn't have thought he was old enough...how old is he exactly, anyway?"

Kairi: "Yet another mystery."

Sora: "This is getting ridiculous!!! You think you know a guy!"

Kairi: "Sora, don't you think you're overreacting a little bit?"

Sora: "No, I don't! You would think that with traveling with each other for several years straight, it would have come up at some point--but noooooo, I guess that wasn't important enough to mention! What else isn't he telling me?! Is there something about Donald I should know???"

Riku: "He's got a point."

Sora: "Where's my Gummiphone--"

Kairi: "I think he feels betrayed. It's okay, he'll get over it."

Nora: How exactly the continuity of Mickey's universe works in this world is one of the many enigmas that continues to puzzle me. In the world you come from, his universe exists as a sort of Multiverse-of-Mickey, where Mickey appears to "star" in some iterations, while others seem to be genuine representations of the mouse himself, and even more are just extremely unclear as to which they are. But here, the situation seems to be even more murky, with the seeming absence of media representation and the existence of Disney Castle and Country of Musketeers as a Sleeping World--

Riku: "--Nora, literally no one has any idea what you're talking about."

Nora: *sigh* "--in short, I'll be curious to see if the existence of Max crossed over to this world."

Sora: "Wait, YOU knew?!"

Riku: "I swear, she's omniscient."

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Riku, dare I ask... the belly-button phase?

Riku: "...no comment."

Sora and Kairi: *snicker*

Nora: I dunno, I thought it was kinda cool. Unclear how exactly he could see with those bangs, however.

[ask-the-kh-gang]

*throws alignment chart at you* yo Kairi, type your friends!

Kairi: *studies chart* "Uhhh, okay...let's see..."

Kairi: *points at Aqua* "Lawful Good."

Kairi: *points at Riku and Namine* "Neutral Good."

Riku: *shocked* "...me?"

Kairi: *hands on hips* "I said what I said, Master Riku."

Riku: "...heh. Thanks."

Kairi: *points at Sora and Ventus* "Chaotic Good."

Ventus, doing a one-armed handstand: "Chaotic? Me?"

Aqua and Terra, in unison: "Yes."

Kairi: *points at Terra* "Lawful Neutral."

Kairi: *points at Xion* "True Neutral."

Kairi: "And Roxas and Axel would be Chaotic Neutral, wherever they are."

Xion: "Axel said something about hijacking the Twilight Town tram, I think? Something about 'suping it up'?"

Aqua: "Oh great."

Kairi: *laughs* "Well, way to illustrate my point, at least."

Aqua: "They better hope Ienzo catches them before I do."

Kairi: "As for the evil ones, none of my friends are evil, so I can't really do these."

Riku: *peering over her shoulder* "I'm pretty sure Xehanort has been all three of them at one point or another. And for the record, I'd call Kairi a Neutral Good."

Kairi: "Oh yeah! What about Nora?"

Riku: "Nora...uh...hm..."

Kairi: "....you know, I don't really know."

Riku: "Neutral...something."

Nora: "..."

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Hey Sora, ever thought about the fact that Goofy and Pluto are both dogs?

Sora: "Goofy's a DOG?!"

Kairi: "Sora, you...didn't know that?"

Riku: "I wish I was surprised."

Kairi: "What did you think he was?"

Sora: "I don't know, a guy with a weird-shaped nose? I didn't wanna be rude!"

Riku: "Ever since King Mickey told me that Queen Minnie was terrified of mice, I've tried to avoid thinking too deeply about his subjects. The further you go down that rabbit hole..."

Sora: "Wait...so that means...wait..."

Kairi: "A mouse keeps a dog as a pet?"

Sora: "...why doesn't Goofy have paws???"

Kairi: "Do they have a class system?!"

Sora: "But he doesn't eat dog food??"

Kairi: "Sora, dogs don't have to eat dog food--"

Sora: "HAS HE BEEN ABLE TO TALK TO PLUTO THIS ENTIRE TIME?!"

Riku: "...yeah. There's no going back."

Nora: Just wait till he learns about Pete.

[ask-the-kh-gang]

Sora: *taps mic* "Heeeeeey! Is this thing on?"

Riku: *snatches mic away* "Sora, you're gonna break it. Remember what happened last time you messed with something like this?"

Sora: "Oh, so you play through ONE thirteen-boss-fight computer game and you're suddenly a technology expert?"

Riku: "That wasn't a GAME, Sora, it was--"

Kairi: "Shhh! Boys! We're on!"

Sora and Riku: *freeze*

Sora and Riku: "Uhh..."

Kairi: *grabs mic from Riku and puts it back on the table* *leans forward* "Hello everyone! I'm Kairi, and these two knuckleheads are Sora and Riku."

Sora: "Heeelllooooooo world!!!"

Riku: "Um. Hi."

Kairi: "Be more enthusiastic, Riku! You're talking to a world that you'll never be able to travel to! This is like, unprecedented stuff!"

Riku: "Um...hi."

Kairi: *sighs* "Aaanyway, a traveler friend of ours that we just met, Nora, told us that in your world, we exist as video game characters--"

Sora: "--which is just as awesome--"

Riku: "--weird--"

Sora: "--the second time around--"

Kairi: "--and that while we'll never be able to visit you, it would be super cool if we could figure out some way to communicate with you. So she set up this--" *checks notes* "--'ask blog.' We're still not quite sure what that is, but all that matters is that we're here."

Sora: "So send us your questions!"

Riku: "Oh yeah, she also wanted us to tell you that answers could be delayed sometimes, due to the weird speed of 'inter-universe messaging.' But that might just be some sort of code for 'she's kinda lazy sometimes.'"

Kairi: "Sounds like a certain lazy bum that I know..."

Sora: *voice cracks* "Hey!"

Nora: I resent that comment, Riku. Also, getting these island kids to work with technology is a nightmare.