askxigbar

[askxigbar]

Ya'll know I hate putting this stuff up here but uh - hi there, hey there. I lost my job last month because the american government is insane.

If you've ever liked a post I made on this blog and wanted to let me know - help me signal boost this and get some help for my little dude.

I'm so for real when I say; Sharing is caring. Thanks guys, stay safe out there.

Crawls up here - okay so job hunting? Not going well. I am persisting though, something has to give. I am also still taking commissions if a donation ain't your thing.

In the mean time uh, Hannibal has a mass on his arm that recently got bigger which was the CALL to get it removed. That's like a $900 surgery.

ON TOP OF THAT; the issue with his hip, now has the issue of his KNEE added to it. So I know like $5k is OBSCENE sounding but it's because all the things are hitting the fan at once.

I hate asking for help, I really do, I'm a suffer through and find a way type but uh, the past year has kind of been a lot apparently. I feel bad I've reached out to the community so much.

This is my little guy though. My little gremlin and resident cheese snob. He's done a lot for me.

So even $1 or something helps, and even if you can't spare that - because I GET IT with the state of the world right now, sharing is just as helpful. Boosting is helpful.

Any assistance means something if it can get some help somewhere, you know? My reach has SIGNIFICANTLY lessened over the years but like - I'm still trying I guess lol. Thanks for your time guys ;;

K thx bai

[askxigbar]

CASUALLY mentions shit and forgets to be like hey, I lived!

In Xig fashion, Bitch I lived. Thanks everyone for commissions and signal boosting etc. I'm feeling mostly okay today, but I'm gonna see how I feel next week or so at least ;w; sitting is comfortable but my brain keeps being unfocused is the issue sooo yee. But thanks everyone, mwah!

Surgery was successful, had two tumors on the ovary, but everything else was fine. I had a hard time dealing with nausea and vertigo because of anemia and lack of food.... surgery was at 10am and I got out at 7pm...

[askxigbar]

I tend to try and keep my promo stuff off this blog as much as possible, especially since engagement drops when I'm active here, and picks up when I step away??

It's weird, y'all. You're funny, it breaks my heart lmao

But uh, I have surgery coming up 12/12/24 to remove a whole ovary, maybe both actually...... and I'm gonna be out of work for a month to heal, and due to how medical leave works I'm losing close to $1,000 in wages that I desperately need for bills and such.

So if you wanna help me out if I've brought any joy over the years, consider sharing the post for visibility or commissioning me - I'm negotiable right now because I'm desperate lol but I'd appreciate even boosting, kiddos. This whole thing got me fucked up lol

THANKS FOR YOUR TIME AND CONSIDERATION, KEEP IT COOL AND BE SAFE THIS SEASON MY DUDES. MY HEART GOING OUT TO EVERYONE DEALING WITH THE STATE OF THINGS.... ITS ROUGH OUT HERE...

THAT'S RIGHT, YOURS TRULY IS OPENING UNLIMITED SLOTS TO COVER MEDICAL FEES!!

Additional characters? No problem! +$10 per additional [$15 if they're super detailed or something!!]

Prices are kinda negotiable because the situation, but as with anything DM me with questions!! I'll work with you, if you work with me! I'm willing to draw most things at this moment, just be mindful.

Original Characters [with or without references, I can work with you on it!]

Player Avatars - Your DnD, FF14, TTRPG characters - any in game customizable babe you've made like a TAV or Warden type! And if you want them with some character you love? SURE. I CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

To some degree self insert character content is kosher.

Same rules as usual about having the right to refuse due to quality concerns on my part, or something.

Fanart is ALWAYS welcome, even for things I don't intimately know!

SO, why the urgency?

I'm currently sitting on $1K in medical fees coming up after an MRI, and I have a doctor consultation coming up October 8th about potential surgery around some ovary/uterine issues.

I don't know how much, if any, of that my insurance is going to cover. And I already am constantly in stress states due to the debt I am fighting to pay off ASAP in my life. So this is a new thing I'm panicked over. So anything helps, even just sharing this post.

Uhhh ANY DETAILS YOU WANT I GUESS I'LL THROW UNDER THE CUT?? THANKS FOR READING, MWAH!!

TBH I have severe anxiety asking for commissions because that nagging in my head that people have it worse than me and all that augh~

So I'm dealing with a lot in my health. I within the past two years rapidly put on like 80lbs and didn't notice until I NOTICED.

I've always had really heavy periods, and sometimes I'd miss one here and there from stress, but I had a month long heavy wild one last July - 2023 - and then they just DISAPPEARED. So I went to my doctor about that, my weight, general wellness and we found I was like pre-pre diabetic, I don't have PCOS, but we don't know what is going on.

We got me on meds for the A1C levels to bring it down, and I'm taking uhh some semi-glutide for my weight/A1C as well but it's not...doing anything funny enough - but the uterus is the main concern atm because I FEEL ACHES IN THAT REGION LATELY.

So I got an ultrasound, and we found out I have some masses on my left ovary - thankfully blood test found out it's not cancerous, but they're still worried. It's like... a cyst within a cyst within a cyst. There's a lot going on, and we don't know anything until they get tissue off it to examine what the hell it is. BUT IT'S SUPPOSEDLY NON-CANCEROUS.

So we had an MRI done, which was fine but crazy expensive apparently, and it's showing a little more concern on what's going on but also I might have some ovarian torsion so they're worried maybe that's a part of what is going on. Which I guess either my ovary is SPUN 'ROUND or there's like some issue with the blood vessels and stuff??

IDK. I'm not a doctor and reading online is, ya'know, not the best. Bodies are all different. So I'm seeing a specialist at KU med next week to have a consultation about what is going on, where we go next etc but so far no matter what - it sounds like they need to get a tissue sample, and possibly surgery is more on the table than OFF of it so.

My insurance bill came in, and it looks like my insurance is only covering 45% of my MRI which leaves me at $1k to pay for it, and then from the look of all the charts and explanations, I don't know that my surgery would be covered. So I'm trying to at least cover like... the MRI cost because I'm scared lol.

I gotta discuss a lot with my doctor on the 8th, because like I.... don't know if my insurance is worth keeping if it's costing me what it does monthly, and I am not getting the financial help I need so we'll see!! UHHH yeah!! So!! I'm worried about medical costs, and also like if I have to be out of work for a period so ;; there's a lot of concern going on lol I've never had medical costs like this blindside me outside my cat's surgery a year or two ago so YEEHAW.

[askxigbar]

Rude, anon..

[askxigbar]

My favorite tag this year so far goes to this darling....

Me every time I tag this blog and figure out the order and whom to tag...

[askxigbar]

A-ANYWAY… he, uh, certainly got a talking to about his slacking off. I can only say so much on his behalf, ya’know?

[askxigbar]

I was so proud of myself for finishing my ask last month for XigDem day, that I happily doodled this at work. I just miss them a lot honestly, lol.But I just love the fond annoyance I think Xigbar has towards Demyx. And his casual affection after a while. I'm still a soft bitch to it.

[askxigbar]

-SLIDES INTO HOME PLATE-

HAPPY 2/9.

[askxigbar]

So life updates from your Xigbro, feel free to ignore;

Went to the doctor and found out I've got some severe vitamin deficiencies which explains a lot physically and mentally going on.

My ass feels old taking as much medication as I am daily, but I can feel some stuff being better thankfully.

Been having bad side effects so I've been very tired outside the usual tired the meds are fixing, and just sick because my stomach vs meds.

Uh... I got Covid for a second time from new people at work!! So uh, that's going great. It's not as painful as last time but I am FULL OF FEAR.

I am missing like 2-3 days of work because of it which is like easily $400+ money wise so that's terrifying me.

I was gonna try and do an ask this week but I've literally only been awake 5 hours a day this week I've been sick, which has been spent eating or doing patreon stuff.

So that's where I'm at, uh I might just take a break and see if I can get anything done through the holidays, but just try and come back beginning of the year fresh again. Life is just kind of all at once hitting my ass again, oof.

Uhhh that being said, if you appreciate what I do or feel up to it think about dropping my ass a tip or joining my PATREON for early art and like WIPs that don't see the light of day for ages, and that you might have a say in seeing earlier if you ask for it~

But either way uh... yeah. Life is kind of a mess for everyone atm huh?

[askxigbar]

Hey kiddos, I already made this post on my Patreon but I'm gonna be taking a few weeks off.

I've been having burnout in terms of effort vs engagement, it's got me feeling weird about my art. It's kind of a reoccuring issue, like engagement is crazy high when I come back, and it slopes off fast and gives me a complex lmao

I have fun with this, but it starts feeling like I'm stupid. I find Like spams funny and generally don't mind them, but I can't lie and say it wouldn't be nice to see more reblogs now and then or sprinkled in those spams so I know it's not just....passive consumption of my whole blog.

People will literally like spam my whole blog and maybe reblog one or two things, and that feels.....awful?? I feel like a shitty comedian, whose jokes aren't landing.

But there's that weird line of feeling like I'm begging for attention - it feels bad, but people don't grasp how weird it feels. But also, idk I'm allowed to whine. Whatever!! ✌️✨ it's my blog lol

Aside from that brain worm topic; I am taking a few weeks because I've had a lot of expensive appointments this past week and I'm getting bloodwork done next week to finally figure out a number of health problems hopefully, so I'm a bit overwhelmed in my personal life.

I'm also just not in a very... great headspace with all that's going on in the middle east either, it's that whole... it feels wrong to carry on like normal, but I can't just doom scroll the news. I feel like that's all we're all doing anymore. One historic event after the other.. its devastating.

My heart goes out to the families in Gaza and the Palestinian people... I hope something good happens sooner, not later. 💜

[askxigbar]

Scientific studies show though, that it’s never too late to grow a sense of humor at least.

[askxigbar]

Scientific studies show though, that it’s never too late to grow a sense of humor at least.

[askxigbar]

I was so proud of myself for finishing my ask last month for XigDem day, that I happily doodled this at work. I just miss them a lot honestly, lol.But I just love the fond annoyance I think Xigbar has towards Demyx. And his casual affection after a while. I'm still a soft bitch to it.

[askxigbar]

Scientific studies show though, that it’s never too late to grow a sense of humor at least.

[askxigbar]

Forever fascinated by the danger of that skill, honestly…

[askxigbar]

Y'know what they say, uh, working hard or hardly working....

[askxigbar]

Forever fascinated by the danger of that skill, honestly…