aspec-culture - Tumblr blog

[aspec-culture]

There is no “see results”, just vote.

Tags, lol: @our-aspec-experience @our-asexual-experience @our-aroace-experience @ace-culture-is @asexual-society @asexualadvice @asexualspectrumspector @asexual @aroaceconfessions

[aspec-culture]

I hate how asking for someone's number or giving your number is seen as flirting/something done with romantic intention.

Let's say I meet someone at a party and we get along well. We have similar ways of thinking and several shared interests, and I enjoy spending time with them and talking to them.

Of course I'll want to stay in contact with them. Exchanging phone numbers is one of the most convenient ways to do so.

Why do I have to be scared that asking for their number is going to be viewed as flirting / as a sign a am interested in them romantically? Especially when that person is a man or someone that is known for being into women (context: I'm a woman).

How the hell am I supposed to make friends then???

I hate amatonormativity so much.

[This is not based on a specific event, just a general vent]

[aspec-culture]

Sorry to all the A's I couldn't fit on here!

[aspec-culture]

No, dammit!

If I say I am aroace, I mean it. I won't look for a romantic or sexual partner. Not now and not later, like you claim, for certainly I must change my mind, or haven't found the right person yet.

No! Just no!

[aspec-culture]

What's it called when you're aro and ace to everyone but ONE person, to them of who you feel sexual and romantic feelings for so intensely? I guess demi? Is this even a valid thing to feel and can I even use aro and ace for myself??

Demi can work, especially if you have an emotional bond with that person. Some demi people have only ever been attracted to one person, and that attraction can be intense.

Another you could look into if you want is boreasexual/borearomantic, and it means someone who's an exception to the usual rule of your orientation. So someone who generally doesn't experience any attraction and then experiences it towards just one person would be an example of someone who is borea.

Yes, this is valid and it's just how it goes for some people. Yes, you can use aro and ace, generally speaking only ever experiencing sexual and romantic attraction to one person is considered to be an ace and aro spectrum experience.--similarly both demi and borea are ace/aro spectrum identities--and anyone who is ace spectrum can use ace and anyone who is aro spectrum can use aro.

When it comes to this stage of questioning, labels can get subjective. Sometimes more than one may describe your experiences, or things like personal preferences, what's convenient, etc. may play a role too in what labels feel right for you. So don't be afraid to use whatever label(s) you feel works best best for you.

All the best!

[aspec-culture]

allos, aros, aces…. anyone… i need someone to tell me is kissing actually nice or is that just another made up thing?

like i can’t really imagine how sticking your tongue in someone’s mouth is nice, even with no tongue, like… it’s just a lot saliva okay.

[aspec-culture]

Romance is not mandatory to have a good plot!

Let's repeat it until society understand.

[aspec-culture]

Amatonormativity has destroyed so many people's understanding and acceptance of themselves, and it's heartbreaking.

Yes, it is normal to be in your 20s, 30s, or older and not have lost your virginity, had a first kiss, or a partner. It is normal to say that you aren't ready for those things, too! It is normal if your life doesn't follow the "college graduate -> engagement -> buying a home -> 2.5 kids and a dog" trajectory that so many people have idealized.

So many people associate maturity with losing your virginity, or having a first kiss, or a serious relationship, and I think that's a dangerous association. Maturity isn't gained through those things, and you don't have to have those experiences to be considered "mature" or "grown." It is not a bad thing to go at your pace. Nobody else can live your life but you. If you end up having those experiences, that's great! But it should be done because you want to experience them, not because you feel "broken" and "immature" without them.

[aspec-culture]

If there's any character in this world who suffers from literary Ken-ification it's Patroclus. Especially in the zeitgeist of today (thanks tsoa), it's always Achilles AND Patroclus, never just Patroclus. Who is he? Why does he exist? He is Achilles' boyfriend! What's his job? Death! In the sense that he just. Dies. That's just his job now. Death. Death and Achilles' boyfriend. That's it.

[aspec-culture]

This meme is inescapable on French insta so I'm posting it here for all to enjoy

[aspec-culture]

"aros can still date and love!" well maybe we shouldn't have to in order to be palatable by society. maybe we should be able to exist alone

[aspec-culture]

there is so much love in friendship, people forget that

[aspec-culture]

Asexual spec people:

Do you read smut?

Sex favourable and purposefully read smut.

Sex indifferent and purposefully read smut.

Sex repulsed and purposefully read smut.

Sex favourable and indifferent to smut.

Sex indifferent and indifferent to smut.

Sex repulsed and indifferent to smut.

Sex favourable and avoid smut.

Sex indifferent and avoid smut.

Sex repulsed and avoid smut.

[aspec-culture]

Hey, if you treat QPRs as lesser than romantic relationships, I do not like you.

Like, don't say “they're at least in a QPR”, or “I don't ship characters, most I can do is QPR”

All relationships are equal, stop using hierarchies for them.

[aspec-culture]

reblog if you are ASEXUAL, support ASEXUAL PEOPLE, or SECRETLY A DRAGON IN HUMAN FORM

[aspec-culture]

“oh you’re aromantic/asexual? what do you do with all that free time?” sniff every scent in the candle department, next question

[aspec-culture]

Do you except asks from other aspec identities? (Aplspec, anaespec, asenspec, afamspec, aphysspec, aemospec, analtspec, aqplspec etc.)

Yes! Yes of course!

That is literally what the blog is for!