assortedvillainvault - Tumblr blog

[assortedvillainvault]

Transformers One isn't changing the established lore y'all because there is no established lore

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Caves are weirder and more varied than you think

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I know you need some pat pat

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Hi! I was browsing the Lord Shen tag and found your blog 👀. I loved the headcanons for ShenxReader through the wolf henchmen's pov ❤️.

Would you mind sharing some headcanons but from the pov of the fluffy Lord peacock himself?

Hi Anon, thank you so much!!

I'm so sorry that my Lord Shen Masterlist slipped my mind - I'm fighting tumblrs atrocious tag search to find my previous writings for him and get them on there for you. In the meantime please - have some more!

Lord Shen x Reader Headcannons

- This stuck up, mithery, hairpin tempered ball of anxiety and condescension is officially your problem now. I mean. You chose this, so I’ll leave it to you as to what end of the bad choices scale you’re landing on, but man. You sure picked.

- I also can’t get over the fact that – in China and most of the East: white is associated with death and sadness, and mourning. You not only picked the unhinged genocide gun bird, you picked the only person in all of China to be literally born emo via albinism.

- I will get back to the above, but I’m mcfucking losing it over the image of Shen being. The smaller of the two of you.

- Like if you were a smaller creature he could properly get his elegant noble stride on, nose in the air and tail gently swishing behind him as he circles you, admiring every angle and relishing the nervous, excited little glances you give him. He might not be a strictly predatory species but he sure loves that thrilling edge of not-quite-stalking. He’s too high class for the genuine article, that’s what he has the wolves for.

- But if you had the audacity to be larger than him?!

- He’d grind his teeth if he had any. He wants so badly to intimidate you – making sure to step with an extra click of metal coated talons, words honey-barbed and sticky as he looks for chinks in your armour, having to crane his head back and up to look you in the eye and- look- could, could you just- just lean down? Lean down for goodness sake just- there. There. Lovely. As he was saying…

- Shen going to go bananas planning the perfect courtship. Everything must be. Exactly. As he plans it. God forbid you trip on the stairs. If you bribe the guards to move all furniture two inches to the left you’re going to have a great time watching Shen’s eyelid twitch for twenty minutes as he tries to figure out what’s ticking him off.

- Want a shortcut? Say nice things about his cannon. No seriously, it’s not a euphemism (though it could be-)

- The cannon is the culmination of Shen’s ambitions, the reason for his exile, the demonstration of ingenuity that set him apart. Seeing you run a hand smoothly over the intricate castings and complimenting his life's work is going to fill him with so many butterflies he’ll have the wedding ready by noon.

- Of course he does, underneath all the royal snobbery and sass, really, genuinely like you. More than he ever thought he could ever like another person. Go you.

- ...He can’t contain the terror that you might not like him back. Not because of all the murder, no, that’s clearly not the issue. But because he isn’t perfect enough for you. Because he’s not enough.

- Shen popped out of his egg all but rocking the 2007 bangs and MCR soundtrack of his time: born the colours of death in a house and species traditionally all the colours of the rainbow will have been like a self fulfilling prophesy – unspoken but not forgotten as he grew up and internalised his inadequacy by striving for excellence in literally everything else in life.

- Excellence in the form of weaponry, security, excessive control and genocidal ruthlessness. Combined with ingenuity, high intelligence and paranoia: all wrapped in a package of straining courtly manners and a need to constantly have the upper hand.

- You keep taking the fucking rug out from under him by reversing the script and being nice. Even his nanny (soothsayer, who has having a great time munching popcorn and giving incidental commentary) gives him shit and drives him up the wall – yet you’re out here, smiling (how dare you-) and- and saying he looks good (he knows, knows he looks sickly and out of place, a reaper amongst royalty-) and – of course you want to hand his hand really, who wouldn’t (who would?) - he’s fine, he’s fine-

- If he dared to let you go, he’d shatter like a discarded doll.

- How does it feel, reader, to hold the fate of all China in the balance of your smile?

[assortedvillainvault]

Malefecent had fallen to Dr.facilier charming nature.He also finds Malefecent Attractive and suggests they go on a date to know each other little better.

Oooh this one took a bit of thinking! I don't think they'd become a full on pair, but a little fling wouldn't hurt...

Maleficent x Dr. Facilier: A Risky Venture

- It wasn't unusual for new villains to get a crush on Maleficent. Like – yes hello, water is wet, the Mouse won’t shut up, and the Mistress Of All Evil is the most attractive thing on legs, what else is new?

- It was, however, MUCH rarer for a newcomer to actually approach the elder villainess and make a move.

- To date only ten of the 127 Disney villains had ever tried, to varying degrees of success.

- Dr Facilier wasn’t one to simply sidle up and try his luck. At least not without a game plan and some research.

- Simply asking around got him some sly smirks, a huffy eye roll from Hades and the sort of glazed-over look from Jafar that spoke of things he’d really rather not hear about. Ursula cackled enough through her drink that he put her in the same ‘don’t ask’ camp as Jafar. Queen Grimhilde didn’t even deign to respond, and the Horned King simply glared and mimed breaking his neck for asking.

- The other five that had ever tried were apparently smote into craters for the audacity. He cast a look over the singed walls and decided to let those lie.

- He slid into a seat at an empty table, feeling Shadow pool around his feet under the long cloth. Idly, he let his cards flick and tumble through his fingers, deftly shuffling and reshuffling.

- The Loa were off the table. A. Because a date definitely counted as ‘something for himself’. B. Because he could hardly trust them when dealing with something so open ended as a crush. And c. Because he knew she would perceive him as lesser for depending on their help.

- He’d always had good eyes. Able to see what most others couldn’t. And while he would never claim to see through every disguise...from day one he’d been able to see the way fire and scales stretched and twisted under her skin – the way the lights in the room dimmed and flickered under her smile, how her cloak was full of raven feathers and vicious thorns. He could see the way her presence lanced through a crowd like a silent lightning strike – all ozone and anticipation under the thin blanket of night.

- When Hades had leaned over and clicked his jaw shut with a smirk, slyly asking “First time?” it’d taken all he had not to slip into the shadows – donning his signature charm like a shield.

- He blinked down at his hands, frowning at the faces of cards he’d laid down by habit. The devil, the seven of swords, the tower…

- A perfect talon clicks onto the tower. His heart thuds into his mouth as he looks up (and up and UP, hell she’s tall-) at the amused, elegant smile of one Mistress of All Evil.

- Hahaha shit.

- At a loss, he flings himself into his tried and tested talent: talking.

- “Evening, ma’am.” He tips his hat and tried desperately not to overthink the amused upturn of her lips, finding it to be much the same expression as a cat playing with mice. “To what do I owe the pleasure, stopping by little ol’ me?” Should he try and kiss her hand?? It was right there, he should probably look into how to regrow fingers just in case- “Is there...” he swallows. “Anything I can, help you with?”

- She chuckles, and he feels it run though his bones as if he were stood right next to a brass band’s drummers. Shadow has a vice grip on his ankles under the table and he tries so hard not to remember being dragged to his grave, tries not to kick his one remaining friend as Maleficent’s yellow eyes bore into his violet ones and he swears he might know how Hook feels – sized up by a reptile willing and eager to swallow him whole-

- “Plenty, little doctor.” She smiles, slow and sharp. He swallows thickly, fighting not to grin. “if you feel...up to the challenge?”

- He feels his lips drag up into an ill advised grin. “Yes ma’am~”

[assortedvillainvault]

more rings anatomical edition

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STARASCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Oooook masterlists all updated- huzzah.

[assortedvillainvault]

Hi! I was browsing the Lord Shen tag and found your blog 👀. I loved the headcanons for ShenxReader through the wolf henchmen's pov ❤️.

Would you mind sharing some headcanons but from the pov of the fluffy Lord peacock himself?

Hi Anon, thank you so much!!

I'm so sorry that my Lord Shen Masterlist slipped my mind - I'm fighting tumblrs atrocious tag search to find my previous writings for him and get them on there for you. In the meantime please - have some more!

Lord Shen x Reader Headcannons

- This stuck up, mithery, hairpin tempered ball of anxiety and condescension is officially your problem now. I mean. You chose this, so I’ll leave it to you as to what end of the bad choices scale you’re landing on, but man. You sure picked.

- I also can’t get over the fact that – in China and most of the East: white is associated with death and sadness, and mourning. You not only picked the unhinged genocide gun bird, you picked the only person in all of China to be literally born emo via albinism.

- I will get back to the above, but I’m mcfucking losing it over the image of Shen being. The smaller of the two of you.

- Like if you were a smaller creature he could properly get his elegant noble stride on, nose in the air and tail gently swishing behind him as he circles you, admiring every angle and relishing the nervous, excited little glances you give him. He might not be a strictly predatory species but he sure loves that thrilling edge of not-quite-stalking. He’s too high class for the genuine article, that’s what he has the wolves for.

- But if you had the audacity to be larger than him?!

- He’d grind his teeth if he had any. He wants so badly to intimidate you – making sure to step with an extra click of metal coated talons, words honey-barbed and sticky as he looks for chinks in your armour, having to crane his head back and up to look you in the eye and- look- could, could you just- just lean down? Lean down for goodness sake just- there. There. Lovely. As he was saying…

- Shen going to go bananas planning the perfect courtship. Everything must be. Exactly. As he plans it. God forbid you trip on the stairs. If you bribe the guards to move all furniture two inches to the left you’re going to have a great time watching Shen’s eyelid twitch for twenty minutes as he tries to figure out what’s ticking him off.

- Want a shortcut? Say nice things about his cannon. No seriously, it’s not a euphemism (though it could be-)

- The cannon is the culmination of Shen’s ambitions, the reason for his exile, the demonstration of ingenuity that set him apart. Seeing you run a hand smoothly over the intricate castings and complimenting his life's work is going to fill him with so many butterflies he’ll have the wedding ready by noon.

- Of course he does, underneath all the royal snobbery and sass, really, genuinely like you. More than he ever thought he could ever like another person. Go you.

- ...He can’t contain the terror that you might not like him back. Not because of all the murder, no, that’s clearly not the issue. But because he isn’t perfect enough for you. Because he’s not enough.

- Shen popped out of his egg all but rocking the 2007 bangs and MCR soundtrack of his time: born the colours of death in a house and species traditionally all the colours of the rainbow will have been like a self fulfilling prophesy – unspoken but not forgotten as he grew up and internalised his inadequacy by striving for excellence in literally everything else in life.

- Excellence in the form of weaponry, security, excessive control and genocidal ruthlessness. Combined with ingenuity, high intelligence and paranoia: all wrapped in a package of straining courtly manners and a need to constantly have the upper hand.

- You keep taking the fucking rug out from under him by reversing the script and being nice. Even his nanny (soothsayer, who has having a great time munching popcorn and giving incidental commentary) gives him shit and drives him up the wall – yet you’re out here, smiling (how dare you-) and- and saying he looks good (he knows, knows he looks sickly and out of place, a reaper amongst royalty-) and – of course you want to hand his hand really, who wouldn’t (who would?) - he’s fine, he’s fine-

- If he dared to let you go, he’d shatter like a discarded doll.

- How does it feel, reader, to hold the fate of all China in the balance of your smile?

[assortedvillainvault]

Malefecent had fallen to Dr.facilier charming nature.He also finds Malefecent Attractive and suggests they go on a date to know each other little better.

Oooh this one took a bit of thinking! I don't think they'd become a full on pair, but a little fling wouldn't hurt...

Maleficent x Dr. Facilier: A Risky Venture

- It wasn't unusual for new villains to get a crush on Maleficent. Like – yes hello, water is wet, the Mouse won’t shut up, and the Mistress Of All Evil is the most attractive thing on legs, what else is new?

- It was, however, MUCH rarer for a newcomer to actually approach the elder villainess and make a move.

- To date only ten of the 127 Disney villains had ever tried, to varying degrees of success.

- Dr Facilier wasn’t one to simply sidle up and try his luck. At least not without a game plan and some research.

- Simply asking around got him some sly smirks, a huffy eye roll from Hades and the sort of glazed-over look from Jafar that spoke of things he’d really rather not hear about. Ursula cackled enough through her drink that he put her in the same ‘don’t ask’ camp as Jafar. Queen Grimhilde didn’t even deign to respond, and the Horned King simply glared and mimed breaking his neck for asking.

- The other five that had ever tried were apparently smote into craters for the audacity. He cast a look over the singed walls and decided to let those lie.

- He slid into a seat at an empty table, feeling Shadow pool around his feet under the long cloth. Idly, he let his cards flick and tumble through his fingers, deftly shuffling and reshuffling.

- The Loa were off the table. A. Because a date definitely counted as ‘something for himself’. B. Because he could hardly trust them when dealing with something so open ended as a crush. And c. Because he knew she would perceive him as lesser for depending on their help.

- He’d always had good eyes. Able to see what most others couldn’t. And while he would never claim to see through every disguise...from day one he’d been able to see the way fire and scales stretched and twisted under her skin – the way the lights in the room dimmed and flickered under her smile, how her cloak was full of raven feathers and vicious thorns. He could see the way her presence lanced through a crowd like a silent lightning strike – all ozone and anticipation under the thin blanket of night.

- When Hades had leaned over and clicked his jaw shut with a smirk, slyly asking “First time?” it’d taken all he had not to slip into the shadows – donning his signature charm like a shield.

- He blinked down at his hands, frowning at the faces of cards he’d laid down by habit. The devil, the seven of swords, the tower…

- A perfect talon clicks onto the tower. His heart thuds into his mouth as he looks up (and up and UP, hell she’s tall-) at the amused, elegant smile of one Mistress of All Evil.

- Hahaha shit.

- At a loss, he flings himself into his tried and tested talent: talking.

- “Evening, ma’am.” He tips his hat and tried desperately not to overthink the amused upturn of her lips, finding it to be much the same expression as a cat playing with mice. “To what do I owe the pleasure, stopping by little ol’ me?” Should he try and kiss her hand?? It was right there, he should probably look into how to regrow fingers just in case- “Is there...” he swallows. “Anything I can, help you with?”

- She chuckles, and he feels it run though his bones as if he were stood right next to a brass band’s drummers. Shadow has a vice grip on his ankles under the table and he tries so hard not to remember being dragged to his grave, tries not to kick his one remaining friend as Maleficent’s yellow eyes bore into his violet ones and he swears he might know how Hook feels – sized up by a reptile willing and eager to swallow him whole-

- “Plenty, little doctor.” She smiles, slow and sharp. He swallows thickly, fighting not to grin. “if you feel...up to the challenge?”

- He feels his lips drag up into an ill advised grin. “Yes ma’am~”

[assortedvillainvault]

What frustrates me with being an "out of sight, out of mind" person is that people tend to love suggesting notepads, diaries, apps, lists, anything that you can write reminders in. But my kind of "out of sight, out of mind" extends to that as well. Truly. If it is not in my sight, it is not in my mind. And you know what happens when you close a book or an app? It is not longer in sight.

[assortedvillainvault]

I don't CARE what genre your fictional world is, put a talking skeleton in it NOW

[assortedvillainvault]

The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall - 25th Anniversary

Art posted by Bethesda for the 25th Anniversary of Daggerfall

Art by Roddy E.

[assortedvillainvault]

Shots in potc: at world’s end that make me want to leave society, find a crew and a ship and never come back

Gif of this one because I particularly love it

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Where's the evil queen alongside cruella? Are they dating each other or are they dating Ursula and maleficent in the polycule

Ah! Yeah...I kinda... forgot the evil queen existed. 😅 Smite me.

Same deal as Cruella honestly - not the most compelling villain to me, ergo not in my funky little polycule. Maybe EQ and Cruella can start their own polycule with blackjack and hookers with more of the non magical, more modern villains? Who's to say. Reckon they'd make a great triad with Helga Sinclair.

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Question where is cruella in the polycule? I feel like she would be Ursula and maleficent gf while being bestie with jafar and hook (but I feel like hook and cruella also had a thing going on)

Real talk it's because Cruella has never been quite as 'up there' on my villain tier list - so she kinda got sidelined.

It's also because the DVCule already has 9 members and trying to wrangle them into coherent fics currently is very much:

Like I can Def see Cruella being besties with Ursula but personally not much else. If you wanna write it tho then please do!! I love DV polycule everything and will be the first to read it!

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man you guys doing all the gay monsters are way ahead of me, i’m still trying to figure out ow to draw the beast beyond the silhouette.

…the bottom ones were when i got really tired…..