athousandbyeol

[athousandbyeol]

this invisible string ties you to death, and that string is me. [tanphleng fanfic]

it's a macabre of witnessing tankhun's breathing caught between spaces and chances, a tug of war between death and living, chasing after closure but so afraid and wary of erasure. botphleng forces tankhun to stay sober, at least, until the charade's over, and he doesn't have to ponder about their dimming future—because aren't they going to live together forever?

time ticks. death approaches. tankhun dies. and botphleng is the killer. maybe he isn't.

[athousandbyeol]

borders and oceans. [timpai fanfic]

"i love you so much—pai, i love you. and this is the truth. please, pai, i love you. i really love you—" "if it's love, then why does it hurt?" maybe it was love. but at the wrong time. at the wrong place. with the wrong person. "if you love me, then why did you hurt me?"

tim crosses the line. pai's left behind. between borders and oceans, promises and contradictions, there's distance. and they could never be what they should've—could've been. not anymore.

[athousandbyeol]

seas you'll see. [tumphone fanfic]

phone tilts his head, enamoured, attempting to lighten the mood as he teases, "so, you do love me, huh?" "even with your eccentric personality and other weird things i chose not to address today, yes, i do love you, phone," tum cradles phone's face so ardently when he hushes against the calming tides, honest and fond, "i love you with all my heart and soul."

promises made by the seas and skies. love that withstands the hurdles and trials. phone loves, so painstakingly. and tum loves, so tenderly.

[athousandbyeol]

smoke and mirrors. [tumphone x timpai fanfic]

smoke and mirrors, obscured by truths and errors. beyond the haze and reflections, there's heaven. there's hell. there's them. and there's none; nothing but mere red lies.

[athousandbyeol]

[athousandbyeol]

you'll find me in this sea of red (for i couldn't be saved). [faifawine fanfic]

until the day i meet you again, be happy, phi faifa. i don't want you to lose your smile. i don't want anything to dim your shine. you gave me a lifetime of happiness. although i didn't give you as much, carry me with you in every step you take because i'm forever in you. i'm always with you. but if the pain is too much, it's okay to cry, phi faifa. you can be angry or sad or anything. if thinking about me makes you depressed, then forget me. throw me and memories of me as far as you can. i understand. when you're ready, you can return to me. and i'll hold you close. i won't let go.

  or in which time is faifa and wine's biggest enemy.

[an extended version of you'll find me in this sea of red, posted on twitter a few days ago.]

[athousandbyeol]

i woke up to p'mark retweeting my edit 😭😭😭 i'm still shaking and crying... i don't know how he even found it because i tweeted that about a day ago 😭😭😭 it's not even a good edit Lord 😭😭😭😭😭 he made my morning and my entire life with just a retweet 😭😭😭 thank you p'mark 😭😭😭 i love you so much..... thank you 😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[athousandbyeol]

PDCA: public display of cute aggression

Perfect 10 Liners EP24

[athousandbyeol]

JUNIOR & MARK as FAIFA & WINE in PERFECT 10 LINERS (2024)

[athousandbyeol]

my life is special enough just having you with me every day.

[athousandbyeol]

vulnerability; assurance.

the themes of vulnerability and assurance are presented so delicately between faifawine, especially in the latest few episodes.

in my opinion, wine's vulnerability wasn't really explored in the series, but it was always there. we saw more of Faifa's susceptibility and how wine helped him navigate his lowest moments by offering support and comfort. yet, i think ep 23 and 24 really showed us that wine was also struggling with this sense of insufficiency.

if we can rewind a bit to ep 22, on the rooftop, wine asked faifa:

this moment made me realise that wine and faifa were always on the same page, standing on the same line, but from different ends of the spectrum. faifa is an extroverted version of wine, while wine is the introverted version of faifa.

faifa was known to be loud and forward with his feelings. he wasn't afraid to show his affection for wine even before they became a couple. however, along the process, wine was also showing bits and pieces of his fondness for faifa—but it was more subtle. quiet.

the way they portrayed their love for each other was really on the brand of their personality. and this became an issue.

i think wine believed faifa would understand, he would notice all these signals he had been giving to faifa were rooted in love and nothing but love. yet, with the sudden appearance of p'tor, faifa was ready to forfeit, thinking it was best for wine to be with someone better and not as broken as he was.

wine was in shambles. he was so afraid of losing faifa. he believed he didn't hold onto faifa tight enough, leading to faifa's disappearance. i think, wine was disappointed in himself for not trying hard enough, for not being bold enough for faifa to be assured and certain that he loved faifa and no one else.

and this was when faifa came in to save him.

the thing i love most about faifawine is how they balance each other's negatives and positives so well. faifa wouldn't let wine drown himself in those thoughts. and wine would never allow faifa to hurt alone.

so, this brings me back to ep 23.

wine constantly tried to be better for faifa. this was rooted in his belief that he wasn't 'special'. he was too monochrome to compare with faifa's bright colours.

wine was always trying to accommodate faifa's personality, observing him from afar, trying to understand faifa's switch of feelings and moods. it was his way of 'existing' for faifa. but sometimes it took a toll on him too, if he ever was enough. he didn't show it often, but sometimes the mask wine wore, cracked too. and faifa saw it. and he embraced wine so tenderly, so understandingly.

faifa caved into wine's quietness, his observant nature, albeit in silence, grounded faifa from straying too far. faifa's thoughts were always running rampant, they were always so vicious and vile and devilish and clamorous. so, in wine's silence, faifa found the peace and clarity he needed. he could exist and be himself with wine. he didn't have to open those drawers and look for masks to wear for the day. he could bear his ugliest parts and wine would cradle him gently—wine would love him, worship every inch of him with everything he has. faifa didn't need all those grandiose gestures. he just wanted wine to be; in all versions of himself.

and ep 24 was the peak of wine's vulnerability.

wine braced himself to travel alone just to get the bracelet for faifa's upcoming birthday. the wine before faifa would never dare do things beyond his comfort zone. but the wine after faifa would die for him.

his love drove him to be here, in a foreign place, just to give faifa another part of himself—his heart. wine wanted this to be special. he wanted faifa to store this in his memory that he was wine's everything, and he loved no one else in this world but faifa.

and faifa understood everything. wine didn't have to explain.

the convos they had during these episodes were so vital because they helped wine understand that faifa didn't want wine to be someone he wasn't. he didn't have to do things he wasn't comfortable with. he didn't have to do much. he just wanted wine to be himself. he wanted wine to just be here, there and everywhere, because faifa fell in love with that wine; the quiet, gentle, attentive, observant, kind, sweet and adorable wine.

and i find them very, very, beautiful.

[athousandbyeol]

Didn’t you say you were going to win your ex back? How’s it going? Yeah, how’s it going?

PERFECT 10 LINERS | EP24