atypical-transfem

[atypical-transfem]

I wonder if other intersex people feel this isolated when you speak about your intersex experience and dyadics are standing an awe and they continuously ask you questions about being intersex.

No hate to the person who did this to me, I just felt really self self conscious, like I'm walking on eggshells when I opened up my mouth. But I'm not your science experiment for you to figure out, I'm just a simple human wanting rights.

[atypical-transfem]

I know one like this already exists but I'm getting more specific

[atypical-transfem]

Hii, I saw ur post about looking for intersex YouTubers with longer form content, and what a coincidence I just stumbled across an intersex YouTuber last night! Their YouTube is Blumekind_ ! They have tik tok as well, but their YouTube is very long form content about intersexuality! (:

Thank you so much, I'll check them out right now

[atypical-transfem]

Quietly losing my mind over the fact that Elon Musk has straight up orchestrated a coup of our executive branch and like....I don't even know what, if any, system we have in place to fix this. Like... He's just taken control of the money and locked out the actual appointed officials. What the fuck.

[atypical-transfem]

The fucking audacity of people on tik tok to imply this intersex person they should be thankful a doctor altered their genitalia AS AN ADULT, WITHOUT THEIR CONTENT.

God. I fucking hate how I can't look at videos by intersex creators without the literal top comments being the worst intersexism I've ever seen. It happens on YouTube as well.

[atypical-transfem]

Really want to rant about how dyadic trans, nonbinary, and other genderqueers quite literally appropriate the concept of AGAB, but I'd be here all day if I did

[atypical-transfem]

Literally

I wonder if other intersex people feel this isolated when you speak about your intersex experience and dyadics are standing an awe and they continuously ask you questions about being intersex.

No hate to the person who did this to me, I just felt really self self conscious, like I'm walking on eggshells when I opened up my mouth. But I'm not your science experiment for you to figure out, I'm just a simple human wanting rights.

[atypical-transfem]

its men a while since i used this blog

[atypical-transfem]

Over the years, I've felt more and more alienated, excluded, and ostracized from the trans community. Like I'm barely allowed to be there. Often, it's not even due to my own feelings on my gender, but rather me telling perisex trans people intersex experiences.

If I say "hey, not all people who don't agree with their AGAB are trans. It's not always as simple as being cis OR trans," I'm told I need a deep look into my transphobia, that apparently I think trans is a "dirty word". Someone not being trans isn't transphobic!

I see perisex trans people using our existences and stories for discourse or debates, but completely ignore how we exist at any other time.

Here's part of an interaction I had with someone I used to consider a friend. Their post said "you're either cis or trans […] it's not that complicated". I made a comment saying how it may not factor in how, for some intersex individuals it is complicated (such as AFAB trans women or cistrans) or how some don't like using either bc they're perisex centered ideas.

The following are some screenshots my friend sent me. She had liked my comment and the OP decided to message her asking what cistrans is.

It makes me furious. "It's a little more complicated than that for intersex people" "not really?" Who the fuck are you to speak on intersex expierences? They had sent me a DM as well, patronizingly saying how my friend had a "misunderstanding as to what cis meant" 🙄

[atypical-transfem]

"Why can't I transition to be intersex?"

This is a sentiment I see a lot in the trans community, and I believe it is because of the fundamental misunderstanding of how the term intersex is seen. Most people, even those in the queer community, see intersex as a rare third sex where you are born with both genitalia. This is inaccurate, and perpetuates a harmful stereotype!

If you want to transition to be 'a rare third sex with both genitalia', by all means, go ahead! But do not call this transitioning to intersex, do not say you want an intersex body, do not involve intersex people in it!

There are plenty of words for this, bigenital, transneutral, altersex, salmacian, etc! These words actually portray YOUR EXPERIENCE transitioning to this state, unlike co-opting the term intersex.

Intersex is defined as being born with and/or naturally developing anatomy, sex characteristics, hormones, or chromosomes that do not fit the typical definitions of male or female - in short, there are a LOT of ways one can be intersex, not all of these ways are obvious. We are not a third sex but rather an in-between state that cannot be neatly categorized into either of the two modes (male or female) of the bimodal sex distribution.

The operative word here in defining intersex is that you are born with these traits, or they naturally develop later in life, such as during natal puberty, with no medical interventions to cause them. This is what intersex refers to. You cannot transition (medically alter the body), to be intersex (a non-medically-achieved state). It doesn't work like that.

On the flip side of this, an intersex person cannot transition to be perisex, as perisex is a non-medically achieved state referring to the state of your body in the absence of medical intervention. This means that nothing the medical industry can do to us will ever make us perisex, no matter how badly they want to. If you can transition to be intersex, does that mean those of us who have experienced medical violence to "fix" our bodies have been successfully made perisex? Because that is what you are insisting when you insist you can transition into being intersex or perisex via medical intervention.

Intersex people are a violently erased group with very few people who are open and advocating for our visibility and right to bodily autonomy, compared to the trans community. By using this label when you do not have this lived experience with an intersex body, you are playing a part in our further erasure.

[atypical-transfem]

So an update on this series: I'm changing the name to Dear Dyaidcs because

I had forgotten the title of the series, DD is simpler for my brain to recognize

It rolls off the tongue more

I like it more, I wanted to name the series that, do idk what happened

I'm planning on drawing this series in the future, so I think DD is a more catch grabbing title than Dyadic Adventures

Because I want to. It's my blog and I can do what I want okay

Welcome to dyadic adventures

It's a series that i decided to make after being so sick of dyadics not taking intersex people & our experiences into consideration.

On the first episode we have trans spaces who don't realize that not everyone is dyadic and therefore have different trans experiences then their run of the mill trans dyadic-ness.

Dear Dyadic trans people,

Some people are both a trans man and a trans woman; some people are both transmasc and transfem; and/or they're just have the experiences of being treated as a man and a woman in society or something entirely . It's not your place as a dyadic person, someone who will never understand how being intersex impacts some of our understanding of life & our complex relationship with the binary world. So please leave us alone with our labels. We're not "really a man" or "really a woman" We're fucking what we say we are. Yes, that means that some of us are only cis. Yes, that means that some of us are trans. Yes, that means that some of us are trans and cis. And that even means that some of us are both and more. And it even means that some of us are none of the above.

We all know and understand that gender is complicated; so why is it hard to see that being intersex may make it more complex?

Signed,

A tired transcis intersex person

[atypical-transfem]

I wonder if other intersex people feel this isolated when you speak about your intersex experience and dyadics are standing an awe and they continuously ask you questions about being intersex.

No hate to the person who did this to me, I just felt really self self conscious, like I'm walking on eggshells when I opened up my mouth. But I'm not your science experiment for you to figure out, I'm just a simple human wanting rights.

[atypical-transfem]

Why we should stop using “afab/amab”.

(in most scenarios.)

This pride month, i’m really hoping to see an upswing in intersex support, conversation, and inclusion. Despite being right there in the acronym, right next to ace/aro/agender and queer , there are plenty of people who are LGBTQA+ who don’t even know what intersex means, let alone having an understanding of the community. It’s frankly ridiculous that this conversation needs to even be had—intersex people have existed long before recorded history begins, and yet most queer people couldn’t describe our flag, or a basic definition of our identities. It’s a severe injustice, and i speak for much of the community when i say we are sick and tired of it. Going to pride only to be excluded from our own communities, the people who claim to be out family, all out of ignorance.

But there are so, so many ways to educate yourself and be an advocate for the intersex community. One of the first ones is changing your language to be inclusive of all backgrounds , both intersex and not.

So:

Why should we stop using AGAB in conversations about gender?

-Assigned sex at birth tells you NOTHING about somebody’s hormones, sex characteristics, or identity.

-There is almost no scenario in which using “afab” or “amab” cannot be replaced with a better, more accurate term.

-Agab is a term that us very important to intersex conversations. By using it in non-applicable situations, it takes away the original meaning.

-Most of the times, when an agab term is used, it is not used correctly. Don’t use the terminology if you don’t know what it means

-Often, conversations about physical sex and gender are jumbled, and many people don’t have a true understanding of the separation of the two when it come to identities. The use of AGAB—Assigned Gender At Birth—in conversations about physical sex is further reductive and erasing.

Examples of language replacement, for those who want to transition out of using this incorrect language.

(all examples used from real scenarios i’ve seen this term used. not necessarily reflections of genuine opinions or truths.)

1.

“They experience hate for being gender nonconforming, since they are an AMAB non-binary person.”

—Wrong! You don’t know what this person’s gender was assigned at birth. Just because they have a beard, or male or masculine genitalia, does NOT mean they were assigned male at birth

“They experience hate for being gender nonconforming, since they are non-binary but have masculine physical/sex characteristics.”

—Correct! Instead of jumping for broad language, say what you truly mean. In this scenario, if you are specifically talking about physical masculine characteristics, just say so. AGAB ≠ sex characteristics.

2.

“She is transfeminine, so she is AMAB.”

—Wrong! Transfeminine does not mean transitioning from male to female, and vice versa with transmasculine. They are intended to be largely synonymous with MTF&FTM, without reference to birth sex. Since these terms do not imply birth sex, it should not be assumed. You don’t know where they started, and so assuming can be inaccurate and harmful. *

*(This section has been edited for clarity. A bad wording choice was made in my part, and so it conveyed some incorrect information.)

Instead of assuming their sex, just assume that everybody knows their own identity better than you do—which is true. There are situations in which someone can be assigned both female and a woman at birth, and also be trans feminine. For example, I was born female, but due to being intersex, went through a masculinizing puberty. I then transitioned back into femininity through an incredibly similar process to that or trans women who were born male. Therefor, I am transfeminine.

3. Consider whether, in a conversation, you mean to talk about assigned sex or gender at birth. Assigned sex is what someone was declared to physically be at birth. Assigned gender (at birth) is the gender they are raised and outwardly identified as by others, usually in accordance with assigned sex. If you’re talking about physical transition, you mean assigned sex at birth.

AGAB is a fundamentally incorrect term. “AGAB” means assigned Gender at birth. However, the two AGABS usually referenced are “male” and “female”, which, when talking about being assigned at birth, are sexes, not genders.

Work your language to be inclusive. If the internet can collectively find ways around saying “die” / “suicide” / “death ” / etc, you can cut two simple, incorrect terms out of your vocabulary.

Include intersex people. We’re in the acronym. We’ve always been here. It’s everyone’s job as a queer community.

Don’t Forget The “I”.

[atypical-transfem]

I hate when people say they think the intersex flag is ugly. Like. I’m going to bite you I’m sorry it’s not, it has amazing symbolism and is basically spot on when it comes to what makes a good flag design. The design is simple and easily recognizable, it’s visually distinct from most other pride flags while still being relatively cohesive with the way a lot of pride flags are designed, and also. The SYMBOLISM. Purple. An in-between of pink and blue. Yellow. Also a colour free from a lot of gendered associations. And the circle. The CIRCLE!!!! Wholeness and completeness and unbrokenness!!!!!!!!!!!! The intersex pride flag is beautiful and I refuse to budge on that

[atypical-transfem]

Kind of a rhetorical question

Can someone (preferably other intersex peeps) please explain how dyadics/perisex/endosex are so hellbent on not being reminded of the fact that they're dyadic/perisex/endosex?

Like this doesn't even bringing up the fact they're so ignorant about their privilege and how their community, at large, is so inaccessible for the intersex (and questioning) community.

Why do they have such a knee-jerk reaction when we remind them that they, by large, (supposedly) benefits from intersex suffering?

[atypical-transfem]

oh my fucking god. Being against “transintersex” isn’t fucking terf rhetoric, it’s literally just not wanting our bodies fetishized by perisex ppl. We have told y’all time and time again how it’s harmful and y’all just straight up don’t care. Y’all are all “I hope intersex ppl have a good day!!” and “dni if intersexist!!!” until an intersex person points out your intersexism, and then suddenly we’re all terfs.

Again, salmacian and altersex are PERFECTLY OKAY TERMS THAT EXIST FOR A REASON. ffs. i’m so tired of this shit

[atypical-transfem]

"Integrating disability studies into intersex studies and effectively transforming it into crip intersex studies offers the tools required to break down the traditional sex binary and what I term "compulsory dyadism": the instituted cultural mandate that people cannot undermine the sex dyad by possessing intersex traits or housing 'the spectre of intersex' (Sparrow 2013, 29). The spectre, according to this mandate, must be exorcised. Distancing intersex from disability by insisting that intersex is "not that" reproduces ableist discourses and prevents intersex studies scholars, activists, and advocates from using the necessary tools offered by feminist disability and crip studies to successfully combat the ableism that underpins compulsory dyadism. Effectively undermining compulsory dyadism is impossible without also resisting ableism and undermining 'compulsory able-bodiedness' (McRuer 2013, 369). Given that people with intersex traits who 'fail' the sex dyad are deemed disabled, disordered, or diseased and are often subjected to medically unnecessary interventions to 'cure' that which is supposedly out of order, studies and activism regarding intersex and disability must be actively politically linked."

-Celeste E Orr, Cripping Intersex