just a lot of thoughts about life :)
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when i first made my mom watch little women (2019) with me because i loved the movie when i watched it for a film class and i remembered she said she liked the book growing up, i asked her who her favorite character was at the end.
she said she loved the mom. why? i asked.
she said that the mom listened. listened to what her daughters had to say and supported them as they grew up. and that she was kind, giving, even when they themselves didn't have enough.
this is when a bombshell was dropped: she told me that she wished her mom listened as much as she did. my lola (grandma, for you non-filipinos out there) was as kind and giving, but she didn't stop to listen.
and that broke my heart. because i saw my mom as the mom in little women when i first watched it.
she became everything that she wanted and needed.
#also somewhat related#when i was drawing film studies of the movie afterwards#i accidentally drew jo as my mom in one of the drawings i did#which is wild because they have completely differing face structures#i guess its just poetic justice now#augustrambleson#mom#little women#little women (2019)
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forever crying at the fact that the most loving way anyone has ever said my name (that was caught on camera at least) was from a recording from 2009, where my mom was making a video tour of our new place in america and at the end she points the camera at me and says, "and that's august"
and i am 5 years old, playing in the backyard, unaware of her recording, running around with a pink bucket.
the video cuts off as i spot her and start running towards her. i am squealing with joy.
#memories#memory#augustrambleson#there's something so romantic about family camcorder footage from 2009#childhood#love
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julia nicole camp was right about crushes and the stack of john quincy adams biographies. for me, it was reading the entirety of chainsaw man in a week because they were a fan of the series and they recommended it to me
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funny how love found me like a speeding car while i was just turning the corner
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sometimes self care is ripping apart a quarter of roast chicken with your bare hands
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well, well, well. looks like therapy is unaffordable right now, so yelling into the void of the internet seems to be the best choice as of late.
it's late and usually i'd yell my thoughts into my tape recorder, but i don't have access to that either right now. so, hello internet! welcome to game august theory!
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