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Meanwhile a human passing would just ignore the man, even if he was screaming in pain

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Why is this so funny

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Damian saw the plane

(everybody is okay)

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To an extent this is tried but only when really young and only in one way

The problem is that these children grow up seeing th adults around them have no such thing, leading them to believe that it’s ok

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Heking wat!? I hab been bambozzl

“Little puppy can’t believe that it’s possible to go down the stairs.”

(via)

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Yep definitely

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That took a turn

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The tags are the best bit

what if when Bruce adopted his kids he just. Never told anyone. The public knows about the various Robins, yes, and Hood and Nightwing and all that have followed. But Dick Grayson never made it into Bruce Wayne’s charity gala photos, and Jason Todd’s adoption wasn’t tbr talk of Gotham after it was put in the paper. Little Tim Drake’s disappearance, some time after his family died, was seen as little more than a retreat from fame, and Damian was never announced to be a Wayne.

so you have Batman and his apprentices (former or not) and then just. Brucie Wayne, living in that manor with only his butler to keep him company. Or—so Gotham thinks.

this could either be angsty as shit or hilarious. Since I’m in a crack mood . . . let’s explore option two.

Random reporter: Mister Wayne! Have you ever thought about having children? What will happen to your legacy upon your death? Bruce, who knows full well Tim will take over the company with a competency he does not even want to explore: uh. I’ll probably donate my savings to like, a worthwhile cause Reporter: and what would you call a worthwhile cause? Bruce: *says the first thing that comes to mind* uh Kent Family Farms Reporter: *turns to assistant* WTF is Kent Family Farms assistant: I have absolutely no clue. Someone google it

Gothamite: *sees Jason walking around at a Wayne Gala* oh, hello! And who might you be? *assuming him to be the son of one of the nearby Rich People* Jason: a primitive semblance of humanity built in the image of my former innocent self Gothamite: Jason: Gothamite: Jason: also a crime lord. Gothamite: Jason: those were actually the less mind blowing of the three answers I could have given you, believe it or not

Clark Kent, Reporter: *sees Bruce Wayne next to Dick Grayson at Gala* and who might this be, Mister Wayne? *hoping his Sometimes Friend Bruce will introduce him* Bruce: this is . . . uh . . . Clark: *thinking that he has never seen Bruce so flustered* a boyfriend, perhaps? Bruce: Dick: *horrified gasp* oh my god, do I look old enough for that? Please don’t tell me I look old enough to date him, dude. Please. Clark: *sweats* Bruce: this is . . . Dick: *grinning* a result of a violent and torrid love affair with my mother, an actress, with whom I cut off contact after Bruce promised to buy me a convertible as opposed to the measly Prius she offered me Clark: Clark, internally: what the Fuck Bruce: *puts his head in his hands*

Bruce: *at a JL meeting* well, I have to go. My children are all home sick with colds. Superman: *chokes* your WHAT Wonder Woman: you have children, Batman? you never told us! Bruce: I never told anyone. Hell I’m not sure anyone even knows my second oldest still exists outside the family. Superman: Wonder Woman: Bruce: well, see you *fades mysteriously into the shadows*

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When I started reading this I was like “what fandom is this?”

I only got it on that last line

Anyway dni if you still support Cain, he hit his brother over the head with a fucking rock and it killed him instantly (source). I truly do not know how he still has fans. It astounds me how people can call themselves good people and still be completely fine platforming blatantly Abelist assholes like him. Smh

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Yes

computer how do I kiss someone through a screen. computer how do I pull him through the screen so I can cuddle him. computer. computer do you hear me

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Me and that one friend

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True

Why context is important

“matpat gave the pope undertale” sounds way different than “matpat met the pope while representing the YouTube gaming community and it’s customary to give the pope a gift that’s reflective of the culture your represent and he chose undertale, a game about choices, consequences and reflect and peace/love”

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Me as a cat

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It’s also south of the North Pole

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Yea

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Yes