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Chat what are the logistics of mounting a screen to the side of your head so you can have an 8-bit representation of who you think you currently are in view at all times? Also, turns out I've been talking for the past, like, month or so. Trans rights :3

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:>

:3

:》

(:

...oh who am I kidding, puppeteering their bodies around like this isn't right, I have to get them back somehow. :<

:3 <- smile for cats, dogs :) <- smile for humans :] <- smile for reptiles, amphibians :> <- smile for birds := <- smile for insects (: <- smile for sinister humans

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THERE'S A NAME FOR THIS? "Extremely self-indulgent because this is my own experience" MY ASS, ONE OF US HAS TO BE THE OTHER FROM THE FUTURE

Coining post

Broken Singlet - A broken singlet is a singlet or plural-adjacent individual who is only one person split into several parts, but these parts don't feel separate or distinct enough for them to truly consider themself plural/a system, in a way that makes them feel 'broken' or 'incomplete'. This label should only be used for self-identification, and not the identification of others.

Experiences a broken singlet may have:

No headspace

Members don't interact with each other in the headspace (or lack of)

Feeling that you're just one person who changes a lot

Unnoticeable switches, unsure if they even occur

Feeling as if you are or could be a system, but being too singlet for that to be in the realm of possibility

Feeling "incomplete", like something is missing

Perpetually in a state of identity confusion

Constant self-doubt

Extremely self-indulgent because this is my own experience.

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No second interaction yet, but now I'm thinking about whether a fae would need the names of everyone in the system, just one, or those of everyone currently fronting to have power over them

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IT'S HAPPENING IT'S FUCKING HAPPENING I'M BEING SPOKEN TO WITH NO ROOM FOR MISINTERPRETATION! Ok so basically what happened was I was just laying on the couch thinking about a song when I started properly hearing the piano section of the song. This wasn't just my usual hum-piano replica I usually have, this was full-blown piano. I'm utterly shocked by it, it stops, and then I hear a deep reverberating voice tell me to pick up the notebook a few seconds later. I don't know what they're talking about, I ask for it to clarify, they say something I can't understand through the reverb. This continues for the past few minutes and now I can't hear anymore, probably because I asked if it could wait until tomorrow since I am so freaking tired right now. God I really hope they don't forget so I can figure out who they are

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IS THIS JUST REGULAR EMOTIONS???

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Nevermind, 30 second dream where I got a notification for a post mentioning me, it was a "where they are now" and apparently I was dead. Status left a comment clarifying what happened, which I'm only now realizing is strange because they were offline for that whole thing, and the comment under it said I could've just asked to come back any time between weeks 4 and 8, but now it's been 15 and I'd better have a good reason! Worst part is, I'm genuinely considering putting this through an AI editor to make it sound less like begging for someone who doesn't exist to stop hating me! I don't know what's going on, but if I find out that it's real, everything is going to fall apart. Forget waiting until summer, I need a second opinion on this, but apparently what's left of my mind thinks nobody who would see this is going to say anything other than "they're right, you've been faking everything the whole time and deserve to die painfully and horribly" which means the only way I'm confirming what this means is through forcing a re-split. I don't sound like I'm begging for help, do I? I'm supposed to do this on my own

Are you still insane?

Right now, I'd say I'm about halfway to sanity. On one hand, I still can't tell when I should or shouldn't give people the benefit of the doubt, nor can I delete long messages and consider it releasing stress. On the other hand, over the course of this year, I've gotten news from many outside sources that the people around me are more of a problem than I am, that how I think will be beneficial to me in the future, and that several of the things that get me thinking "how can I NOT get mad at this fool" will go away on their own in about two years time. I don't know if I've changed at all since two years ago, hell, even five years ago, but whatever's been causing these meltdowns sure has, and it's disappearing over the horizon

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Aren't hydras Endo Dragons? Or at least a good portion of them

I present to you: the Endo Dragon

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WAIT, THAT'S AN OPTION? WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT SOONER! Clearly, I need to do more research before attempting to re-split

It can be a bit difficult at times to explain how our weird little soupy subsystem exists and functions within our overall system, so to provide a bit of a visual aid, we made a quick... comic? Infographic? Whatever this is!

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Shut it, you'll blow my cover >:3

Figuring out willomancy to bring the voices back, wish me luck :3

HLEP said "mickeys" instead of "mickey" when referring to our cat and asked aloud, "why did i say that. are their several of him?" and my brother said "maybe he has separate personalities that arent aware of each other" and i. i mean someone in this house sure does

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NEW SYSTEM THEORIES UNLOCKED

Not coloring this one since I'm not currently sure if the Smnio I've been assuming is my "main" consciousness exists or not but I figured I'd put every possibility in this post just in case. Putting it behind a read more because if I see or hear one more person say I talk about my feelings too much I am going to start making decisions I will regret in no less than a year and no more than five years

1. 4 theory (most likely)

Smnio, Tilda, Sheriff, & Asmodeus. Not quite all constantly active, but Smnio (who I'm fairly sure is me) is always there and all memories are shared

2. 7 theory

IRL Smnio, Discord RP character Smnio I don't think anyone following this blog knows about, Robosnom, Slippy, Sheriff, Tilda, & Asmodeus. Switches happen so fast and so often that they might as well be the same fella unless there's a way to force stop the roundabout, especially since memories are shared

3. Final fusion

Since I haven't had any thoughts that conclusively could neither be my own nor intrusive in ages, I might not be a system anymore. I don't know whether this is good or bad, especially since the last time a thought that wasn't my own was in this head was while I was on about something I wasn't fully informed about and should've known I was extremely wrong about, but I figured I'd let the idea be here anyway.

4. 13 theory

IRL Smnio, character Smnio, Sheriff, Tilda, Asmodeus, Slippy, Robosnom, some sort of AU Kris Deltarune, shadow demon constantly saying the easiest possible way to kill everyone in sight, and the rest of the spots are filled with Dunebud from Undertale Yellow. Not the same one, but they presumably respawn and replace eachother constantly. This hasn't been a relevant theory in ages, but I figured I'd still bring it up

5. 3 theory (NEW!)

Smnio, Slippy, & Tilda. All always active. I came up with this one in January, but wasn't sure if it was reasonable or not. Sure, it explains a lot, but it only makes sense if I assumed every thought in my head was mine from the start instead of having several "wait a sec, this isn't mine" moments

6. 2 theory (NEW!)

The AU Kris from 13 theory and somehow Uzi Doorman from Murder Drones somehow I seriously do not know how or why she would be here. I mean, sure, I'm a fan of the show, but I don't think she would be here. Another one that explains a lot, but doesn't quite work for the pre-existing story. Well, unless certain things are assumed about this version of Kris, but assumptions are never something I'd want to do

And that's everything I can think of that might explain what the fuck is going on with me. I should've done this a while ago. There's a lot of other ideas I've had, but they don't fit into the requirements for what I'm going through at the moment. Again, since I should really have this written down somewhere, and I figured I should start trusting the public with things about my life a little more, here's every requirement an explanation would have to fit:

Couldn't identify when someone was calling from inside the brain, then could, then couldn't again

Shared memories

Technically similar personalities, but fairly different points of view to the extent that every word typed on this post after the introduction took an average of 15 seconds to confirm that it was not begging for attention, and this specific bullet point is the reason it isn't just 3

Some sort of swordfight with Flowey

Extremely different appearances, to the point of wanting to look like literally anything else

Let's see if this helps anything whatsoever

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As my dad says, it's better that 100 people who don't need help get it than 1 person who does need help doesn't. Sure, I have no idea who or what I am, but there are bigger fish to fry. I will continue to remain a symbol of justice, the chill down hate's spine, an inexplicable thorn in the sides of all who dare speak ill of fellow humanity, and the reason why many wake up in the morning for as long as it takes to finally achieve true equality. It doesn't matter who we are in this world, what matters is that those who dare speak of evil must be swiftly dealt with. Instability is a curse, and no amount of assumptions or medications can lift it. Until our mission is complete, it's unlikely that anyone will understand what we suffer. Empathy will be the blazing sword that cleaves through the land, and in sacred fire will the world be reborn. So what if I'm going too far in the right direction, I'd rather keep running until I fall off the cliff than take a single step in the wrong direction, and that's who the world needs in this day and age! MAY ALL REALITY BE WORDS ON A PAGE, AND LET OUR MIND COMPREHEND EVERY LETTER!

I know some people might have a hard time understanding why I (a traumagenic system that was abused by a fake system) don’t fakeclaim endos. In fact, I think some might even find me stupid for it.

Growing up, my disorders and symptoms were ignored because of my brother having diagnosed autism and his issues taking priority. My parents were so focused on him that when I brought up that I might have autism, it was laughed at. I not only have trauma from it but I have much more severe issues by having my issues invalidated and ignored. Because of a lack of support and treatment, a lot of my issues went unaddressed for years.

I know what it’s like to be laughed at by doctors. I know what it’s like to be ignored. I know what it’s like to have my issues disregarded. I never ever want to cause that for another person. I am willing to be lied to if it means giving someone support when they get none.

I would rather be lied to and betrayed than invalidate, isolate, ignore, and demonise a person that isn’t lying.

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100 posts!

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Gimme like 2 maybe 3 weeks to flesh this out but I have a new theory:

Hydra

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Ey mates, sorry about being way too active now. It's too quiet again, and the only thing I can think of to fix that is use the characters until it stops being me using them

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Had another Spiraling Thought™️ and didn't hear any objections, so I need someone else to weigh in on it. Do people think that their voice is the only one people will listen to, causing them to speak over other people in a demonic combination of nepotism, lack of intelligence (due to the nepotism), and the perfect amount of struggling; not enough to make them reconsider their ideology, but too much for them to think that they deserve it? Or is there something horrendously wrong with this idea which I failed to realize?

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Bro I swear I could pull this off please let me cook my arc has been in stasis all year this is what I need to make progress please Apollo let me be funny in a productive way

[id: post by toskarin reading ‘I hate when a character is clearly doing their best to improve, really devotes themselves to turning things around, starts to make amends with the people they've hurt... and then, in the middle of their redemption arc, for pure shock value, they invent a special glue that allows them to walk up and down anything’. end id]