avichor

[avichor]

there was a garden that she'd given up on nurturing within, what was once a blossomed soil filled with life and colors had been reduced to a barren land, the petals wilted and withering, roots shriveling into themselves. nozomi had long accepted that she was dying from the inside out, that she was a walking grave, already filled with the ghosts of the life she once lived. or barely got to live. but here, whether by pure delusion and false senses of grandeur, she was alive. just for a bit. whether he meant to or not, dazai had planted something within her and it'd taken root, albeit slowly and scarcely. it stirred and it buzzed, skin alight from a different heat than the sun or the summer's merciless, thickened air. she kissed him like she would struggle to breathe otherwise, feeling every weighted thought slowly dissipate from her mind, leaving her freer. if only it would last.

the tumble down would have been a wake - up call if she weren't so adamant on remaining in this self - made haze. they would ignore the way her bones creaked against his, her twitch of her muscles screaming for reprieve. she wasn't stupid, she'd figured out his game long enough to know that when they landed, he'd absorbed the brunt of the impact. he always had, even as she insisted in wanting to feel it in its entirety. she forced air out of her lungs when she'd realized just how sore her muscles had felt then, how tired and weak she'd gotten. maybe if she'd succeeded in punching him more seriously it would have been more embarrassing and she would have shown herself as the laughingstock she was. he would have seen her for what she really was, and she couldn't bear it.

“ i'm over it. ” she muttered into the brief space he'd created between them, trying her hardest not to show visible disappointment in it, to sheathe the hunger and growing desperation for him lingering. “ you'd give me another turn if i asked really, really nicely. ” the grass was soft beneath them, softer than expected, lightly damp from where the sprinklers must have sprayed earlier. it was a pleasant stimulation to her senses, the cold of the dew on her skin and the warmth of his body against hers. like muscle memory, she adjusted over him more comfortably, puzzle pieces slotting into place. half - parts purposeful in the movement, in the brief chase of an unspoken message between the two of them, and then insuring she wouldn't fully collapse over him. not that she would have minded entirely. ivories bit down on now - swollen lips, a thin sheen of gloss over the soft of them, matching what he wore. it was silly, how domestic they could be at times. honeyed irises spotted the way his curls thrived in the summer heat, how they would welcome her fingers to coil into them later when they had more privacy. or right then and there, if she were brazen enough.

she blinked a few times, shaking away the small wave of dizziness. his face was clearer, and she couldn't help the way her lips curved upwards like a smitten school - girl. “ i've seen the way you've handled yourself when those assholes hunted us down last week. ” a murmur, something soft and sweet and gentle as though she spoke of something more saccharine. slowly, she leaned forward. “ i want to do that. ” a whisper, then, small glaze of excitement dancing upon her features, that mischievous glint in her eyes as hips rolled. always knew what he liked. “ who knows when i'll have to defend myself at some point. ” closer, closer. until her lips were brushing against his as she added, “ i won't always have a bat or a pole with me. ” a pause, and then a small nip to his bottom lip, lashes fluttering as she hardly broke her gaze on him.

she tasted warm and heady, and dazai found he could spend hours licking the whiskey they'd shared from her tongue with an ease and want that should have scared him. in some sense, it did. but somewhere in the notes of it lay that flicker of desperation he'd caught in her gaze, the anger seeping through her skin and bleeding into her words, the fervent need to be seen, touched and tangible under his hands that parted her lips and invited him deeper. recognisable within himself in a way he hated, though he took the chance when offered because he'd be an idiot not to. an unwanted shiver coursing through the length of his spine at the feeling of her fingers tangled in his hair, drawing him closer where his thumbs traced the softness of her cheeks in a performance of an easy gentleness that he thought if he practiced enough, would soon become second - nature, using the leverage he had over her in his hold to tip her head back as the kiss deepened, moulding them further against each other and sharing the heat from their bodies.

dazai had never cared for the missing parts of his history that remained lost on those that dared to think they knew him. forever a walking mystery, a faceless portrait hanging on the wall of a family home he'd never return to, a ghost haunting the halls of the placed he'd lived and died in. with nozomi, he was just a boy. whatever she thought of his past, she'd never bear witness to the foul truth of it no matter how obvious dazai made it that something within him was shattered, broken and bleeding in restless silence and finding an unnatural relief in violence as he tried to stitch himself back together with no result. whatever she thought of him, it lay in the image that he was nothing, nobody important enough to spare a thought over, a kid running from something he'd never name with a path entangled with hers by chance. dazai knew when they had met that he could wipe his slate clean. no matter the cruelty that existed in pretending to be something he wasn't, a normal person, a person with the simplicity of a tragic past he wouldn't talk about, trying to find himself in something, someone else. he could have become anything to her, and he had served to become this.

someone that lingered at her side in quiet complacency to go where she directed, but curled himself around her in the quiet hours when he couldn't sleep, burying his face into her hair that smelled of the shampoo he'd stolen from her, the both of them sharing more than they cared to admit. someone that could read her, that already knew all that she left unspoken but for once, dared not to exercise the weight of his genius, as though protective of a secret that as the person she thought he was, he had no right to know if she hadn't yet admitted to him. something that served to gnaw at thoughts as though begging to be let free when he could see her quiet suffering, and not yet knowing how to admit to her that he had known from the moment he had laid eyes on her without making a mockery of way she held herself in front of him, cracking only when her own private show became too much to uphold, when feeling felt too much like dying. someone who held her in place and excused the heavy weight of her emotions, gave her reason to feel them regardless of what it meant to hold them for her.

to say he almost hadn't noticed the foot creeping behind his ankle would be a lie, so finely tuned to the slightest movements of those around him that he had almost expected it. but if nozomi wanted to catch him off - guard, for her sake dazai would pretend, for a second smiling against her lips. but the moment the world tipped sideways he parted from her, falling back into the grass with a quiet oof forced from his lungs, momentarily winded despite the softness of the ground beneath him, the sight of her hovering above him where she'd landed. his arms falling out to his sides, open and surrendering to her whims in a way he didn't quite understand, for a moment allowing auburns to flicker over her features, half - lidded and pliant beneath her. “ now who's not being fair. ” corners of his lips twitching into that same vacant smile and cheek twinging with even the slightest of movement. his gaze narrowing almost in challenge, dazai pushing himself up onto his elbows until they were again face to face, his bent knee keeping her where they had ended up somewhat entangled with one another as though unable to let her go. “ wasted your turn. ” his head tipped to the side and eyes flicking downwards to her lips, the tips of their noses brushing before he settled back just an inch, asking for her to chase after him, if she wanted.

[avichor]

art by@ttreelore

quotes : currently working on sourcing them. will update this portion once complete

[avichor]

finally finished tpw series after putting it off and im going off grid

[avichor]

it’s not clocking to you that i’m standing on business

[avichor]

“ what's a good tactic ? ” he posed the question as though he genuinely inquired it, but his raised brows said otherwise. it was the conclusion to his sentence, a finality. satoru did not know felicia as long as the others, but he always thought he knew his peers well. somewhat. well enough to know how to behave and the extents he could go before risking getting his ass handed to him. and he liked that she either indulged or tortured him in his whims, a taste of the unknown, a game. one he would otherwise become frustrated with had it been anyone else. “ beginnin' to see why yaga keeps callin' us twins ... not because of the hair and all. ” a keen side - eye, end of brims twitching. the school and its small class size, yet the calamity that their presence alone was no easy feat. he could see it in the wrinkles formed by their endearing principal. what patience. and how he liked to poke and prod at it relentlessly. a youthful joy he had spent more than enough time clinging onto, as though the chasm in his own self could foresee the fate that awaited him. a spectre, a faceless shadow that would follow his every move.

he shifted, moving with the small crowd so that he ended up being in front of her, facing her. sprawled digits remained resting over the small of her back, something instinctive, something practiced. he looked out for his classmates. not quite the protector, never fully saw himself into that role that'd been set out for him, but it came easily. the train shook and rumbled as it passed through the olden tracks, metal creaking loud enough but hardly louder than the indistinct chatter of its patrons or the mind-numbingly loud intercom that spoke with every destination arrival and departure. he was grateful for the darkness his lenses provided, an ease from the buzzing of bright overhead lights and the energy radiating from each and every person, and the vices that followed. he could feel his head straining to maintain some semblance of steadiness and shifted his focus towards felicia. just her. made no effort in showing it, though. appearances, appearances. “ oh, you had a choice ? ” didn't know why it surprised him, it was thick in his response, and probably revealed more to her about him than any answer he could come up with. head tilted to the side as he inspected her curiously, “ yeah. ” no harm in lying. pointless, with her, at least. “ i've visited a few for fun, just to see what it'd be like. ” a brief pause, before he shrugged, next string of words out of his mouth uttered with practiced seriousness, “ probably wouldn't have survived the mob, though. i'm like, super popular there. they think i'm cool and shit. impeccable taste. ”

ALWAYS KNOWN TO CAPTURE ATTENTION, : IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY. but, as ever ; she paid little next to no mind. instead of focusing on the sensation, she feels an amused huff vibrate charcoal lips, &. arms fold over her chest. ( more dust falling off with the motion. a gross reminder. ) ❝ mhm, 〜 ❞ first comes the hum, CLEARLY LEAKING WITH SARCASM. ❝ because deflecting is always a good tactic. ❞ but felicia couldn't afford to speak, ( one of the rare things she can't afford ) for it is her very own silvertongue that always does the same. ALWAYS SO VAGUE! ... but it was for this reason she can joke about it with satoru. there is an understanding, even if it is not spoken of.

JADE HUES EVER SO SHARP, : RUNS IN THE FAMILY, one could say ; regardless, they capture the way more excess dirt falls, &. she makes sure to tilt just enough to the side to avoid it. BE IT HER LUCK, OR SOMETHING ELSE, at least she doesn't get covered in it more. unfortunate for the businessman though. ' eh, probably deserved. ' ... the attention of her gaze rises again, attention upon his features, &. SIGNATURE SMIRK FORMS! ❝ sure, you can ask ... ❞ she responds casually, shoulders rising &. falling in a small shrug again. during the short pause, she can hear the train's breaks let out a sound, as it slows down. ❝ but don't expect a straightforward answer. ❞ a playful warning given ; her ways bound to be known by him. ... the mental image she gets births an audible laugh this time, brief &. soft as it is, it escapes. ( never give her ideas like these. ) IF THERE WAS A RESPONSE ALREADY READY UPON HER TONGUE, it is forced to be swallowed ; with the doors opening, she feels a gentle, yet firm pull ... their sides now touching. more dirt &. dust on the floor, but neither of them paid mind this time. on a busy train like this, who would even care? it is the sentence that follows that capture that dangerous curiosity. IT COULD BE OUT OF BOREDOM, GENUINE CURIOSITY, OR FOR MEANING THAT THE QUESTION IS SPILLED, one can never know with satoru, not entirely. but that was the thing with her too. ... ❝ i've thought about it, ❞ she begins casually, neutrality in her voice, ❝ my dad actually would have preferred it. ❞ if there was more complex emotions birthed, it didn't show ; she talked about it like one would talk about the weather. from the corner of her eyes, she looks at satoru beside her. ❝ you? ❞

[avichor]

i said i’d write but instead im grueling over the poppy war again

[avichor]

FILIPPO LIPPI SEDUCES THE NUN LUCREZIA BUTI, by Antonio Zona, THE ILIAD, by Homer, DANCING (FROZY X JOYFUL) by, Billie Calvinn, I'M NOT ANGRY ANYMORE, by Paramore, THE WINDS OF WINTER by, George R.R. Martin @avichor .

[avichor]

bury our bones in the midnight soil …… i’m buzzing

[avichor]

🧍🏻‍♀️ well

[avichor]

submitted the last final exam of the quarter

[avichor]

i don’t think you should be stating no racism in your rules if you perpetuate racism on a daily basis but think it’s not racism bc it’s towards asian folks

[avichor]

❤️ You’re Bi. ❤️

❤️ I’m Lesbian. ❤️

❤️ We should kiss. ❤️

😼💃🤠👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻

[avichor]

platonicism and found family being viewed as lesser in comparison to romance will always be my villain origin

[avichor]

i think peak was me actively writing three gv characters on sep blogs simultaneously and actually being productive on all blogs for almost a year

[avichor]

too little too late

thats why u dead

[avichor]

me vs harrow iktr

[avichor]

not to be that person but st and tlou should be on strict dnis if you approach hp the same way