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"why does Captain America call you babygirl?"

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As a Marvel and Top Gun fan, I am tweaking right now.

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some cute hotch/rossi headcanons

I refuse to call them Hossi. I just refuse.

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY @whoreforthebauteam!! You’re real present will come at some point but it’s taking forever so… have these instead? I love you x

Also it was so hard to make all of these wholesome like do you know how much angst I wanted to put in but refrained because they’re meant to be a birthday present??

Hotch is always really cold and Rossi is always really warm and Rossi is always complaining about that, but he secretly loves it because it means he hold Aaron and warm him up

Rossi is one of the few people that actually knows what Hotch’s preferred coffee is (this is because he made the wrong one when they were at home and Hotch was less guarded and spat it out) so he’s always the one to make it for him and none of the team ever know what goes into it

When Dave proposed, he had this really elaborate plan in mind but he also knew that wouldn’t be what Aaron wanted, so he ended up doing it at home when they were in bed. Aaron walked in with wet hair that was falling in his face and wearing his Harvard t-shirt (think of Greg Montgomery) and Dave just want: God I want to marry you. Aaron was like: Ask me properly then, and Dave did

Aaron hates spiders so he always makes Dave get a glass and piece of paper and take them out. Dave finds it hilarious that this federal agent with a permanent scowl will squeal at the sight of a spider, but he never complains 

Dave’s two main love languages are physical touch and gifts. This is perfect because Aaron is touch-starved and doesn’t care about himself enough, so Dave is always finding reasons to touch him- even if it’s just placing an assuring hand on his shoulder, and excuses to buy him expensive things because he can. Aaron is terrible at accepting gifts but even worse at rejecting them, which is how he ends up with suits that fit him and a new watch

Aaron doesn’t really know how to say I Love You verbally, but he says it in so many other small ways that mean so much more to Dave. It’s in the slight smile he gives him when they make eye contact, or the way that he asks if everything is okay when a case is difficult, and in the way that he always makes him tea for the way home

Every Friday, if they’re at home, they cook together. Most days involve Hotch getting back later than Rossi or spending time with Jack, but on Fridays, Jack sits on a stool and watches his dad cook together. Hotch will do the more rigid things like slicing and Dave will do the things like adding spices because he’s a lot more liberal

For two men that have to make very serious decisions on an almost daily basis, they’re terrible at choosing films because they can never agree so they either end up not watching anything or letting Jack pick

Hotch prefers Rossi’s shower gel to his own, so if Rossi has to go away for a few days for a book tour or whatever, Hotch will shower using his instead of his own because then it feels like he still has a piece of him 

When they started coaching Jack’s soccer team, they weren’t dating because Hotch refused to date someone he couldn’t be completely honest with, so Dave always got introduced as a friend. After they started dating, Dave would be like: I’m Aaron’s partner and Aaron would love that it was finally true

Aaron loves forehead kisses. Absolutely loves them. They remind him of being a child and simpler times, but he’s always been too shy to ask for them. Rossi kisses him on the forehead a few times because he’s in a rush and notices how relaxing Aaron finds it, so then he starts finding excuses to do it just because

Their tastes in books differs. By a lot. Where Aaron loves cliche romances and period romances and the romantic classics, Dave loves dystopias, crime novels and science fiction. However, Dave will always make an exception if it means he can read aloud to Aaron because Aaron will just rest his head in Dave’s lap and let the words soothe him

Dave is one of the few people that knows just how well Aaron can sing. Aaron does it all the time in the shower, but he always thinks he’s subtle about it so Dave never said anything until one day he started humming the same song Aaron had been singing and Aaron realised

Dave is an excellent dancer. Aaron is not because he’s uncoordinated and gets self conscious. This leads to many Saturday evenings where Dave will hold out his hand and be like: Just let go for a few minutes and indulge me because I love you and Aaron can never say no.

Okay, I know everyone hates her, but Ashley Seaver didn’t have anyone to attend her graduation for obvious reasons. Aaron knew what it was like so he dragged Dave along and they cheered so loudly when her name got called out and she was in tears because they loved her so much. Someone said she was lucky to have such wonderful fathers and neither of them rejected it

It’s a given that if driving is involved, the two of them will go together, but what nobody knows is that a longer journey involves Taylor Swift’s Speak Now being put on and the two of them a) YELLING the words to Enchanted and b) hating on John Mayer cos… yeah

Their first kiss ended with Morgan thinking one of them was the unsub because their unsub was making out with the victims so he was like: THERE! And the team came running over with their lights and guns and stuff only to realise it was them two. It was a very awkward discussion with the sheriff but Strauss found it hilarious to read about

After they got together, a lot of the conversations Strauss and Rossi had became about Hotch and his cute butt and his early days at the BAU. Hotch only found out because he walked into one and he was so mortified that Strauss thought he had a cute butt that he refused to look her in the eyes for a good week

Hotch likes wearing Rossi’s shirts because they make him feel warm and Rossi likes seeing Hotch wearing them because he’s that kind of person, and normally this is fine, but then Hotch has a meeting with a Very Important FBI Person who goes: Agent Hotchner, why are you wearing Agent Rossi’s shirt? And Hotch is just like: Because… we… I? And the Very Important FBI Person is just like: HAHA I TOLD YOU THEY WERE TOGETHER

Nothing ever has or ever will make David Rossi smile as much as seeing Aaron Hotchner with his guard down as he plays with his son, doing whatever it is he wants, apart from maybe the moments where Hotch will turn and smile at him and it becomes clear that he understands that he deserves both the love from Dave and the love from Jack

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You and me both brother you and me both

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I’m sorry, can we talk about Noah Galvin in drag?

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The license plate just started making sense and I wanna cry.

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Troy: Can I go play basketball with Lainy outside?

Glenn: I’m not your dad, babe, go do what you want :)

*Less than a minute later*

Glenn: Not on the street, you dumbass!

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Troy: Did you know that Lainy thinks we're gay?

Glenn, sitting on Troy’s lap, arms wrapped around his neck as they cuddle: I wonder where she got that from. We've been hiding it super well.

Lainy, across the room: No, you have not.

Inspo: https://www.tumblr.com/incorrectjjkquotes/750224330423697408/geto-did-you-know-that-shoko-thinks-were

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People be like: “2024 has been such a great year so far”.

Ma’am 2024 is even worse than 2023 and we didn’t get Troye Sivan or Noah Galvin in drag.

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Troy: *stealing Amos’ bike and running away*

Amos: At least ride it, you idiot!

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Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve is such a Hangster song :).

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Ngl, everytime I listen to The Show by Niall Horan, I think about Larry and all the pr’s, managment and their beards.

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If there’s a universe were songs are people then Dear Patience by Niall Horan and All This Time from Louis Tomlinson are married, I don’t make the rules.