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awesomelynerdymama · 2 days ago

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This is the most amazing and committed comment ever and I don't deserve such dedicated love for my silly little story. I shall reward it with more silly little story by the end of the weekend!

Thank y'all for the love on the short prologue for this! I appreciate the kind words and encouragement. Here is the first official chapter for the fic. I hope you enjoy it!

Title: Love is a Funny Thing

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x OFC x Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

Triggers: Character significant other death, cancer, funeral, some grown up language, general awkwardness that arises when you're around someone you like and you're trying not to be obvious

Disclaimer: I own nothing Top Gun or Top Gun: Maverick related. I just borrow the characters for my own self indulgent purposes.

Chapter One

You rolled onto your back, hand searching the nightstand blindly for your phone to silence the all too chipper alarm. You lie on your back for just a moment to get your bearings before pushing yourself to a seated position on your side of the bed. Your side, because even after six months without Mike you still can't bring yourself to sleep in the middle of the bed.

One glance over your shoulder confirmed that the bedding on that side was still untouched. Ironic, considering during the entirety of your marriage the bed was never made because everyone used separate blankets. You like to cocoon at night and you can't do that while sharing blankets, but even that had changed and now you forced yourself to remake your side of the bed before walking around it to get to your bathroom. It's ridiculous that you take the time to make the walk every day, but Mike always insisted the guy sleeps closer to the door, so there you were taking the extra unneeded steps.

A glance in the mirror showed that the healthy look had started to return to your face as you gained back some of the stress weight loss that had made you look frail. Your body still showed the wear of five kids and multiple weight changes, but your face was looking younger than it had in years, thank you healing and a good skincare routine that you actually followed. A quick shower and you were on your way to the kitchen in your favorite robe. You never thought you'd be a robe girly, but with the traffic in and out of your house being unpredictable over the past couple of years, full coverage seemed the only safe bet or so you thought.

The lights and the coffee maker were switched on one after the other before you made your way to the bottom of the stairs and called, “Lily! Harper! Charlotte! Time to get up girls!”

After confirming sounds of life, you made your way back to the kitchen to start breakfast. The back door swung open and the kitchen became a whirlwind of noses and tails as your three dogs alerted you to a visitor. Nymphadora, your elderly mountain cur, ambled over to get ear scratches and kisses before taking a drink of water and collapsing on her bed. You followed her progress and noted, not for the first time, that her days were probably winding down. She had been Mike's dog through and through and your heart warmed at the thought of them being together again, though you knew you'd miss her like crazy.

Dobby, your French bulldog, and Charlie, your border collie mix, were definitely not puppies anymore, but were much more excited about your company than their sister was. Both were jumping on Bradley like it was the first time they'd met him and you chuckled softly at their enthusiasm.

Leaning one hip against the counter, coffee cup in hand, you took the time to observe Bradley in his NWUs. He looked like a walking Navy recruitment ad, though his hair was probably a touch out of regs on top and you found yourself blushing at the thoughts running through your mind at what you'd like to do to him in that uniform before being almost physically knocked over as guilt hammered you in the chest and you turned away to find something to busy yourself.

Luck didn't seem to be on your side, though, as Bradley came up behind you, wrapped his arms around your shoulders, and pulled you into him as he planted a sweet kiss on your cheek, “Good morning, Mama.”

You tried not to stiffen in his arms, but his timing was just the worst, so you patted his arms before gently pulling away to grab him a coffee mug and pouring him a cup. The familiar action gave you a moment to gather yourself and your cheery smile was back in place when you turned to hand it to him.

“Good morning, sunshine. You know you don't have to come over here every morning? I am capable of getting everyone ready and off to school by myself. I've done it for years,” you chided as Bradley took a sip from the cup before you took a sip of your own.

The moan that followed the first sip he took had your mind racing right back to the dirty place it had been previously and you mentally chastised yourself for having those thoughts so soon after losing Mike and for someone who was very much off-limits for multiple reasons. Then you brushed it off as just thoughts and moved back across the room to the bottom of the stairs to call up again, “Are y'all up?”

Two responding groans meant someone was still sleeping. You debated for a second on the best course of action before starting up the stairs and turning to your left, glancing quickly into the bathroom to ensure the girls were actually getting ready.

“Lily Claire, you need to get up, sweet girl,” you called softly as your middle children stirred in her bed. You padded across the room and rubbed her back as you pulled the covers down, “Come on, baby, you're going to be late if you don't get up. It's Friday, so you only have to make it through today and then tonight we're going to get the house ready for the squad to come over tomorrow.”

The last sentence had her bounding out of bed to the bathroom. You rolled your eyes at the switch, but at least she was awake. Walking back by the bathroom showed that the early risers were almost finished and that you needed to hurry up with breakfast.

Bradley was still in the same spot that you left him, though probably with significantly less coffee in his cup. His eyes found yours as soon as they came into view and he had a look in his eye that on anyone else you might have pegged as want, but that was ridiculous. Bradley was very happily in a relationship with your other best friend, Jake, and they were both also best friends with your late husband, so yeah definitely not want.

What you didn't know, though, was that while you were moving across the room and calling up the stairs he was watching your every move and taking you in like he always did. Between the two, Jake was the talker, which left Bradley the ability to be the observer and he loved observing you. Loved everything about you, actually, had for quite a while, so he was happy to note, like you had, that you were finally filling back out and looking healthier.

Your hair, which you hadn't bothered to do anything with after your shower fell in long dark waves down to the middle of your back and he knew that as it dried your glitter strands, as you liked to refer to them, would glint in the Coronado sun. He loved that you didn't dye your hair like most of the vast population of the area. Your hair was getting longer again too after you cut it short during Mike's illness. A necessity, you reasoned at the time, being more practical while your life revolved around medical appointments and kids’ school schedules. The well loved robe you had wrapped yourself in left little to the imagination and while you would argue that having five kids and fluctuating up and down in weight multiple times over the course of your life had ruined your body, Bradley would very much disagree if what he could see was any indication.

He heard the lack of a third response and knew you were headed upstairs. It was Lily. She wasn't a morning person even more than Jake wasn't a morning person and that was saying something. What he didn't expect, however, was for your robe to inch up ever so slightly as you rose, giving him just the briefest glimpse of what you were wearing under it, which wasn't much.

That was the reason Bradley was still standing exactly where you left him. He had been mentally replaying the sight of your floral, lacy underwear and the feminine curve of your ass. It was something he'd been trying to picture for a while. He knew what your underwear looked like, he'd helped you do laundry before, and he could probably map your ass with his eyes closed given all the time he'd spent staring at it, but the visual of the two together was almost more than he could take. He felt like a fucking teenager with a hard-on standing in your kitchen after seeing less than he could in a Victoria's Secret catalog.

He had switched to envisioning the least sexy things he could think of by the time you came back downstairs (Mav in a maid’s uniform, Mickey streaking down the road last time he got plowed, Cyclone doing pretty much anything), so he had things back under control by the time he met your eyes, but he couldn't help the heated gaze that met yours. He saw you stop short for a second and your expression turned quizzical, but you shook it off, obviously believing, like always, that he could never see you that way. If only you knew.

Thankfully, you were both saved from any awkward conversation by the back door opening again and Jake walking in looking decidedly less chipper than Bradley. You supposed Bradley's call sign was Rooster for a reason, though you had the suspicion that there were other reasons, and Jake's Hangman call sign had you wondering if it had one of the vowels wrong based on what you'd observed, and now you were right back in the gutter.

“I thought you were going to wake me up,” Jake grumbled at Bradley as he took the cup of coffee you offered, pulled you in with a hand on the waist, and lightly kissed your cheek, “Good Morning, darlin.”

You rolled your eyes and pulled away just as discreetly as you had with Bradley earlier. That's the thing you'd noticed about your gay friends, or in their case bisexual even though you'd never seen either with anyone else other than the other, they were very physically demonstrative, which you normally loved, but damn did it make things confusing with your hormones sometimes.

You did notice Bradley's eyes go to the ceiling as you squeezed past him in the suddenly cramped kitchen, but you must have bumped into him or stepped on his foot or something. He really was behaving strangely this morning, but you knew you'd never get an answer out of him, so you didn't even bother asking. You continued your path to the fridge to gather eggs, butter, bacon, and milk. The girls were getting eggs and bacon this morning because it was quick and you still needed to get ready. Reaching up in the pantry to grab a loaf of bread for toast, you heard a sharp intake of breath behind you, so you whipped around to find Jake staring a hole through you with wide eyes and Bradley, in turn, staring wide eyed at him.

“What is up with y'all today,” you questioned as you set your ingredients on the counter next to the stove, “you're both being weird. Are you getting sick? Do I need to force y'all to go to the infirmary?” You went between the two feeling foreheads, cheeks, and necks with a practiced mother's concern. Jake corraled your flying hands and kissed your knuckles.

“We're all good, sweetheart, just have a lot going on at work this week,” he reassured, gently ushering you back to what you had been doing.

You turned on the burner and started cracking eggs into a bowl and then had a thought, “Will everyone still be able to come over tomorrow?”

Busy weeks at work for them often meant working on the weekends to get things mission ready and you knew the girls would be disappointed if they had to reschedule, so your mind immediately sprang to ways to make it up to them.

Bradley finally spoke for the first time in a while, being quiet even for him today, “Absolutely. Everyone's looking forward to it. You know, we could host these things from time to time to take some of the stress off you. I mean we're right next door now and we share a backyard, so it's not like it'd be much of a change in venue.”

You shot him a glare, “Are you trying to take my hostess rights away from me, Bradshaw?”

His hands shot up in defense and he sputtered, “God, no, I just meant….”

Your laugh let him off the hook, “I know. I was just teasing. I like having everyone over. It makes things seem back to normal for a little bit. I want us to spend as much time with y'all as we can before you replace us with a new logistics family.”

The comment was made in jest, but the worry was a genuine one. Mike had been gone for more than six months and while military bureaucracy moved slowly, they were set to get their new logistician any day and nothing said that wouldn't replace them in every way with their Dagger Squad family. It was a weird relationship for the military. Logistics officers worked with entire units, not just individual squads, but for some reason these knuckleheads had wormed their way into your family's heart and vice versa. Losing them would almost be like losing Mike all over again. Both men silently enveloped you in a hug and you let a few tears slip out before wiping them away.

Jake hooked a finger under your chin to force you to raise your eyes to his, “That will never happen and I need you to know that. Y'all are special to the whole squad and nothing is going to change that, so get it out of your head.”

You smiled up at him and leaned into his palm that had migrated to the side of your face as he spoke before gently pulling his wrist away so you could get back to breakfast as your herd thundered down the stairs. The girls loved their Navy uncles and hugs were exchanged all around. Even though they all loved each other equally, Lily and Jake were especially close and so were Harper and Bradley. Charlotte, as the baby, had always been a mama's girl and that still rang true.

You were still working on breakfast, so Jake double checked backpacks and lunches, and Bradley made sure outfits passed muster along with hair and teeth. You were telling the truth earlier when you told Bradley you didn't need the morning help, but it sure was nice not to have to do it alone. Even though you knew you weren't quite ready to start dating again, you did wonder, in passing, how a new significant other would fit into your current family dynamic, but they'd have to find a way because under no circumstances were you severing relationships with any of the squad, these two especially.

Shortly after breakfast was finished and plates were put into the sink, the girls bus stopped at the end of the driveway and they were flying out the door excited to get through the day and help get ready for the get-together you were hosting the next night. You were just thankful that they were all finally getting to an age where they could help take care of your home instead of leaving it all up to you like things had been when they were younger and Mike was gone a lot for work.

Turning from the door, you are now alone with your two favorite pilots who both appear to be working on their second cups of coffee after finishing their own plates of breakfast. Jake turned to start loading the dishwasher and Bradley started pulling out containers to put away the leftovers.

“Y'all don't have to do that,” you said for the thousandth time and for the thousandth time, they responded, “You fed us and caffeinated us. The least we can do is clean up.”

“I actually appreciate that even more than usual because, actually, I have a job interview this morning. Well, job is a bit of a stretch. It's a volunteer position on post,” you blurted all this out rapid fire all of a sudden very unsure of how they'd handle the news. Even though it had no real bearings on their lives.

Both heads snapped up at the news and you braced yourself for the questions you knew were coming.

“A job on base? What made you decide that?”

“Why didn't you tell us earlier? Not that we don't think that's great.”

Okay, you weren't expecting all the questions from both of them simultaneously, but you've got this.

“Okay, from the top. Yes, on base. It's been six months since we lost Mike and even though the insurance money means I don't have to work, I'm sick of sitting around the house feeling sorry for myself and because this is a volunteer position I won't be getting paid anyway, but it could lead to a paid position in the future. I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure if it was a sure thing and then even when I knew it was, it seemed so insignificant compared to what you do that it seemed silly to even bring it up,” the blurting continued.

They both just stared for a moment, presumably digesting the blurting.

“Darlin, everything you do is important to us. We're family and of course, we're proud of you. That's a big step and maybe we'll get to see you a little bit during the day,” Jake soothed once he finally came out of his stupor.

Your eyes rolled again, “Yes, because two of the top pilots on the station are going to take the time to mix it up with ‘Navy Widow’ volunteer taking civilians around the base on tours and yes, I know the widow thing pisses you off, but I'd be lying if it i said it wasn't part of the reason they created the position for me.”

God, why couldn't you shut up?

Neither looked pleased with the additional information, but Bradley looked absolutely murderous. You hadn't considered that his mom had been in much the same position as you when he was young and you felt awful at blurting it out like that. His dad had died in a training accident, so not exactly the same, but his mom had died of cancer in his teens, so the parallels were there to draw to both.

Your feet must not have made any noise padding across the floor because he jumped at the feeling of your arms wrapping around his neck, his face quickly found the crook of your neck and his arms made their way around your waist as you pulled him in for a hug.

“I'm sorry. I didn't consider how any of this would make you feel. I'm a horrible friend. I love you and and I'm sorry,” the earnest, worried expression on your face almost had Bradley pulling you in for a kiss, but he fought it and just held you for a few more moments until he knew you'd start thinking it was weird. He let you pull back to arms length before reassuring you that he wasn't upset with you, just a little taken aback.

“Okay, well, I'm going to go get dressed for my interview,” you exclaimed while bouncing on the balls of your feet. Your excitement was adorable and both men relished the sight of you so happy after seeing you so sad for so long. They watched you practically skip down the hall before turning back to each other as they continued cleaning up from breakfast.

“You have got to get a grip on yourself,” Jake admonished.

Bradley scoffed, “Please, I'm completely in control.”

“Babe, there have been at least two times this morning alone that I thought you were going to kiss her or I was going to have to step in to prevent it,” Jake shot back, annoyed with his boyfriend’s flippant attitude.

Bradley groaned and let his head fall back against the cabinet behind him, “Okay, you're right. Staying away from her seems to be getting harder every day. Babe, I don't know how much longer I can do it. I mean, did you see her ass in those lacy panties? It took everything in me not to drop to my knees and bury my face in them!”

“Everything okay,” your question rang from down the hall and Bradley winced at how loud he had gotten as Jake shot him a look from his spot next to the dishwasher.

“Yeah, everything's all good, darlin. We were just arguing about who's turn it was to do dishes at our place tonight,” Jake smoothly lied.

“With as many dishes as y'all have done for me, it's probably time I returned the favor,” you called back, “just for laughs I could even put on one of those ridiculous French maid outfits.”

Bradley's eyes widened and he pushed himself off the counter, but before he could make a move or say a word that would bring undue attention, Jake pulled him in for a kiss. Jake had meant it as a quick distraction, but all of the pent up sexual frustration of the morning poured out of Bradley as he backed Jake up against the counter and wrapped his hand around the back of Jake's neck. His other hand had just started stroking Jake through the front of his uniform pants when your quiet voice called back down the hall.

“Umm, would one of y'all mind helping me,” you asked, sounding a little embarrassed.

Jake pushed Bradley back slightly and cleared his throat, “Umm, yeah, I'll be right there.”

He turned back to Bradley before walking away, “You stay here. If you walk in there and she looks anything short of being on death's door, you're going to throw her on the bed and fuck her into the mattress before she can get a word out, so you just stay.”

Bradley's mouth opened to argue, but he thought better of it, snapped his mouth shut, and just nodded before attempting to adjust himself in his tight uniform pants.

Jake turned, tried to do much the same thing and started down the hall toward your bedroom trying very hard not to think about what he'd like to do in a room with you and a bed. The sight that met him when he pushed the door open did nothing to dispel those thoughts. You were standing at the foot of your bed in a navy colored, body skimming dress that was open at the back down to your waist revealing the bra that matched the aforementioned panties that were visible just at the waistline of your dress.

“Jake? Jake? Hangman,” you raised your voice on the last one to get his attention, “would you mind zipping me up? I've tried and I just can't manage it.

Jake cursed his tight pants again before stepping forward and grasping the small zipper in his large hand. His other hand held the fabric at the base of the zipper as his knuckles softly brushed the skin of your back as the zipper rose. As Jake reached the top of the zipper he could have sworn that he heard a small whimper escape your lips, but before he could be sure, you were turning to face him with a smile and a necklace in hand.

“Could you put this on too? It's hard to get the clasp when you can't see it,” you explained before turning again.

Jake gently placed the necklace around your neck and careful secured the ridiculously small clasp when, without thinking, he leaned forward and placed a kiss right where the clasp sat against your skin. This time he definitely saw a shiver run up your body and he cursed himself for not thinking as his pants began to tighten in the front once again.

You turned to look up at him with your big, brown, doe eyes and Jake scrambled to find something to say, “That's, uh, a pretty necklace. Where'd you get it?”

“It's a mother's necklace with all the kids' birthstones. Mike gave it to me for Mother's Day last year,” you responded looking down at the necklace fondly.

Dead best friend and husband, yep, that would do it. Jake was finally able to shake the fog that had settled over him when stepped into the room with you and now you were ushering him back or so you could finish getting ready.

Jake must have still looked a little shell shocked as he made it back to the kitchen because Bradley immediately asked him what was wrong and when Jake explained what happened, he found himself back in Bradley's arms with their mouths moving against one another.

They didn't hear you coming down the hall a few minutes later until you said, “Hey now, it is incredibly unfair for people as good looking as y'all to be doing that in a celibate person's house. Keep it up and you're going to start giving a girl needs.”

“Well, you're welcome to join in anytime you want, sweetheart,” Bradley offered with a chuckle.

“Oh, oh really,” you questioned softly, your whole demeanor changing as you made your way over to them, your hips swaying a little more than normal, drawing both men's attention.

You stopped barely an inch in front of the pair and slowly trailed your fingers up from their belt buckles and over their chests to wrap around the back of their necks as one hand from each man fell to your hips.

“You mean,” you whispered softly, as you pulled yourself up on your toes, bring your body flush with theirs, “all I have to do is ask and you'll both kiss me like that?”

You moved in toward Bradley, your eyes never leaving his lips as you felt Jake move behind you to effectively trap you between the two. Bradley's eyes were hooded and you could hear both of them breathing hard. That wasn't the only hard thing either. Not a surprise considering they had been going at it like teenagers just a few moments ago. Then, just as your lips were about to meet, you started giggling, which turned into a full on laugh.

“Oh man, y'all have gotten good,” you commended as you slipped from between them, “I've never lost chicken to y'all before. I must be losing my touch.”

You looked back at both men standing there stunned. You were confused. It was a game y'all had played all the time before Mike got sick. Hell Mike had been the champion. He actually got Bradley to kiss him once, though they'd both been really drunk and you weren't a hundred percent sure that wasn't the outcome he wanted in the first place.

They were still standing in exactly the same spot, “Are y'all okay?”

Jake recovered first, “Yeah, we just can't believe we took down the reigning queen. Umm, we have to get going. There's an early briefing we forgot about. We'll see you tonight for dinner. Love you.”

He grabbed Bradley’s cover and shoved it in his arms before grabbing his own and bodily forcing them out the back door.

That was weird. Normally they'd give you a ration of shit for losing. It's not like them to let you off scot-free. Whatever, you had a meeting to get to as well, so you gathered up your purse, phone, keys, and makeup bag, took one last look at your hair and makeup in the hall mirror and headed out the door to your Suburban.

———————————

The ride to the base was uneventful and you enjoyed the time by listening to a podcast and sipping your coffee from your mama bear travel mug. You parked in visitor parking and hopped down from your tank of a vehicle. You were wearing heels, but you were still a diminutive height even on the best day.

The building housed offices for all the major commanding officers stationed at NAS North Island and it looked as imposing as the men and women it housed. You took the elevator to the second floor and made your way to the office of COMPACFLT, currently Admiral Beau “Cyclone” Simpson and the office of his Deputy Commander Vice Admiral Solomon “Warlock” Bates. You had known both men for years as Mike had a habit of endearing himself to others regardless of rank and they had been beyond helpful when you were sorting things out after his death.

Still they were imposing men in imposing positions in an imposing building, so to say you weren't nervous would be a lie. You quietly stepped up to the young ensign seated at the desk outside Admiral Simpson's office and gave him your name. He asked you to take a seat and rose, presumably, to let the man know you were there.

A few moments later you heard a familiar voice say, “Hannah, it's so good to see you. How have you been?”

Beau Simpson was a formidable man who had definitely been devastatingly handsome in his youth and was still very good looking even if he did frown more than he smiled. He did favor you with a rare smile when he pulled you into a hug when you awkwardly tried to shake his hand.

“I think we're well beyond handshakes by now. Don't you,” had the Commander of the Pacific Fleet just teased you?

“I suppose we are, Admiral. I really never will be able to thank you and Admiral Bates for all the help you gave me and the girls when Mike passed,” you spoke trying to convey all the sincerity you felt.

As if on cue, Solomon Bates opened the door of his office next door and automatically pulled you into a hug as well. It felt odd to be so unimportant, but so familiar with the two most powerful men on the island. You could feel the eyes of both men's assistants burning into you trying to figure out who you were to warrant such a welcome.

Admiral Simpson ushered all of you into his office and closed the door behind him. He gestured for you to take a seat in one of the leather chairs in front of his desk and Admiral Bates took the other. Everything about the office screamed Commanding Admiral from the large mahogany desk to the rows of Naval literature lining the walls to the large antique Maritime maps making up much of the decor.

“Hannah, do you know why we brought you here,” Simpson questioned from behind the enormous desk.

You decided to go for quippy to see how far you could push the staid man, “To lighten the decor?”

He actually had the decency to genuinely laugh. He was definitely softening in his older age. Admiral Bates also chuckled next to you.

“Seriously, though, sirs, I know that you want to raise public opinion of the Navy and most likely the military in general, since both took pretty significant hits under the previous administration and the current administration has been trying to overhaul public perception in almost every sector. Presumably, one of the first and easiest ways to open up to the public with tours and access to Naval personnel,” you offered the most likely explanation you could think of.

“First, you are a very smart and perceptive woman. I knew we made the right choice. Second, none of this sir or Admiral business. One of the most important optics of this program is that we're not above or removed from the everyday civilian. You can call us by first name or call sign. Third, do you know why we chose you for this,” Cyclone’s responding list was an interesting mix of the expected and the surprising. You definitely knew the answer to the last question, though.

“I cut a sympathetic figure? I'm a Navy widow, but my husband didn't die in combat, which could leave people conflicted and he did die of cancer, which is something that touches everybody's life and gives me a personal connection with every person I interact with,” you responded smoothly.

“Very perceptive, indeed,” Warlock interjected.

“You also have a personal relationship with the unit we're going to have as our go to for tours,” Cyclone added.

That was an unexpected turn of events, “The Daggers? Why them? Nevermind. I already know the answer. Planes are sexy. Pilots are more interesting than your average sailor and this squad, in particular, is more parade-pretty than most.”

Both men chuckled at the term, but didn't dispute anything you said. The squad would get metaphorical asses in metaphorical seats, of that you had no doubt.

The remainder of the meeting was going over logistics. What days and how many tours to give a day, what source material to use for your talking points, and what to do if Maverick or any of the hotheads on the Squad lose their cool in front of guests. That last one you had plenty of personal experience dealing with off base, so you weren't worried.

Once the details were ironed out, Cyclone and Warlock stood and you quickly followed suit. At the door Beau turned to you, “So, are you ready to go tell your friends about their new duties?”

Your eyebrows raised to your hairline and your eyes went round, “They don't know?!?!?!”

Both ensigns jumped at the sudden outburst and you quickly apologized before turning back to the officers at your side, “Well, I'm certainly not telling them, especially Maverick. He hates PR anything and I want all of them to still like me. Not something I think either of you are particularly concerned with.”

Your comment was, once again, met with chuckles and no denials. The three of you made your way out of the building to one of the base jeeps parked out front and you weren't sure if it was the California heat or nerves that had you sweating in the passenger seat, both men having insisted you take it while another ensign drove you across base to the hangar that held your found family.

You were watching the base slide past as you made the drive and before you knew it you were at the hangar. You weren't sure why you were nervous. It's not you they were going to be mad at. You weren't the one that was going to order them to turn on the charm for the public. The Admirals got out first and you hung back in the car, not sure what exactly you were supposed to do.

The squad was sitting in the makeshift classroom facing away from the entrance. You waited until Warlock had their full attention before you slipped quietly from the Jeep. Your heels were the only noise you made, but Maverick met your eye as soon as you cleared the door. He must have sensed you just wanted to listen because he didn't acknowledge you beyond a brief head nod.

You heard the groans as soon as the squad realized what was going on and you knew you'd have to pull out the big guns to get them on your side. The wind blowing through the hangar suddenly changed direction and you were nearly blown off your feet as a strong guest blew in from behind you. You saw Hangman and Rooster straighten in their seats. Something had gotten their attention. Warlock wasn't saying anything particularly interesting, so you were puzzled at what it could be. You weren't able to think on it too much because the next thing you heard was Solomon saying your name and beckoning you to the front of the room.

You pushed off the table you had been leaning against and made your way forward. You could feel their eyes burning into you. You wish you had known this was going to happen so you could have given them the heads up. You finally turned in your heels and looked at the group in front of you.

“Look, I know y'all don't want to do this. It's going to interrupt your days and take up too much time. People are going to ask stupid, repetitive questions. You're going to hear me say the same speech over and over. It sucks. I get it, but here's the thing,” you started as soon as you saw Natasha open her mouth to fend off the onslaught you knew was coming, “the Navy needs the positive press and y'all are just too pretty to pass up. Blame your parents for good genetics. Here's what's going to happen. Hangman's going to use the megawatt smile and a wink to charm the pants off the older women. Phoenix is going to scare the pants off everyone. Payback and Fanboy are going to make friends with anyone feeling remotely awkward. Coyote is going to bond with anyone even remotely aviation inclined. Rooster is going to flutter the heart of every broody teenage girl and Maverick will find something in common with every vet that comes through here and Bob will melt the heart of every teenage girl that walks through that door because he is a fucking ray of sunshine compared to the rest of you egotistical assholes. Now, look me in the eye and tell me that I'm wrong,” you finished waiting for any response. There was none.

You stepped away from the podium before adding, “Listen, I know and love all of you and I know you love me and the girls too, so if you won't do it for another reason, do it for them. The last thing they need is to see hate directed toward the institution their father spent his life serving.”

You knew that hit home with all of them by the silence that followed you back to the Jeep. Yeah, it was probably a low blow and a bit overly dramatic, but it was for the best for everyone and they needed to see that. You turned as you got back into the Jeep to see Jake still watching you while everyone else seemed to be talking about, or in Natasha's case arguing about, what they had just been told, well ordered really.

‘Proud of you,’ he mouthed, making you duck your head and tuck your hair behind your ear. You were absolutely the worst at taking compliments or praise of any kind.

You managed a quick ‘thank you’ before Cyclone and Warlock pulled away from Maverick and headed back in your direction. Once in the Jeep there was a moment of silence before both men started laughing, actually laughing.

“Well that was a sight to behold to be sure,” Warlock finally got out.

“You are something else, my dear, and exactly what I think we need to get this program off the ground,” Cyclone offered as the ensign began the drive back across the base.

You hugged both men again outside your car once you were back with a follow up meeting scheduled in a week to determine how long it will take you to get the basic talking points worked out and when you could expect to start your first tours.

You were flying high on your way home and decided to stop at your favorite coffee shop for a treat. You even found a parking spot right out front. Yep, it was a good day.

The bell over the door chimed as you stepped into the mostly empty restaurant. As you were making your way to the counter, the barista came out from the back room. It was Gabriel. Gabriel looked like one of those guys on the covers of romance novels and was an absolute sweetheart to boot.

“Hey Hannah, to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure,” Gabriel spoke as you stopped in front of him. You rolled your eyes as you looked through the bakery case, maybe you were here a little too often.

“Laying it on a little thick today, aren't we Gabriel,” you shot back before straightening up and meeting his eye, “I'll take a large caramel macchiato and a zucchini muffin.”

He started putting together your order before responding, “What can I say? You're my favorite customer and I'm not afraid to say it.”

“Yeah, I bet you tell all your customers that. I bet it gets you the big tips too,” you teased.

The conversation lulled for a few moments as Gabriel concentrated on pulling the espresso for your drink. He automatically put it in a to-go cup and bagged up your muffin, meeting you at the counter with both.

“What's the damage today,” you asked as you fished around in your purse for your wallet.

Gabriel cleared his throat before answering, “It's on the house.”

“What,” you looked up, confused.

“Well, I was hoping you'd go with me to a concert next weekend and I was hoping free coffee and pastry might tip the odds in my favor,” Gabriel explained quickly, suddenly looking very self conscious. A very odd look on a man that was very aware of how good looking he was.

You knew you looked like a deer in the headlights standing there for a few seconds before your brain would let you form sentences again. You also knew from the heat coming off your face that it was beet red, not a great look.

“Wow,umm, thank you, for both the food and the invite. Umm, the thing is, I'm not sure I'm quite ready to start dating again,” you hoped you were letting him down gently.

“I completely understand, but the answer is always no if you never even ask, you know? Well, the food is still on the house and if you change your mind anytime soon, I'd love to go out with you,” Gabriel responded, pushing your drink and muffin toward you, “I hope you have a great weekend.”

“You too, Gabriel. I'll see you next week,” you replied, heading toward the door.

Heather, your best girlfriend, was never going to believe this! Your call went straight to voicemail (the nerve!), so you sent a quick text to call when she could because you had news and then continued the short drive home.

The rest of your morning and early afternoon was a blur of some necessary cleaning, laundry, research for your tours, and entertainment scrolling on your phone. About fifteen minutes before the girls’ bus dropped them off, your phone rang. The display showed Heather flipping you off, a picture that always made you laugh, even in the depths of grief. You swiped up and brought the phone to your ear.

“Tell me those boys next door finally made a move,” Heather exclaimed by way of hello, “and don't roll your eyes at me. They're in love with you, I know it.”

“Anyway,” you started a little more forcefully than was strictly necessary, “You remember Gabriel, the barista at Common Grounds?”

“Romance novel boy? Yeah, what about him,” Heather responded, rapid fire.

You took a deep breath before continuing, “He asked me out!”

“Excuse me, what? Did you sell your soul or something to get all these men chasing you,” Heather commented.

There was a lull in the conversation as both your minds automatically turned to what you would have sold your soul for.

Heather sounded much more subdued when she spoke again, “I'm sorry, babe. I didn't….”

You took pity on her, “I know, babe. It's not a big deal. I still miss him so much. I still pick up the phone to call him at least once a day. Hell, I'm still paying his phone bill, so I can call and hear his voice on voicemail. How can I start dating when I'm still hung up on Mike?”

Heather sighed and was quiet for a moment before quietly saying, “You're not hung up on him. You loved him with your whole heart and he was part of the foundation of your whole life. That's not something that you just turn off. He's always going to be a part of your life. You'll see him in the girls forever, but he wouldn't want you to push everyone away and do life alone. He'd want you to be happy and have a partner…..or partners.”

“Heather!”

Your yell was loud even to your ears, but she needed to get that crazy idea out of her head, especially because it kept making awkward thoughts pop up in your head.

“Listen, the girls are going to be home in a few minutes and then I'll be neck deep in homework and evening chaos. We're having a cookout for the squad tomorrow night. Do you want to come,” you offered since you haven't seen her in a while and wanted her to know you weren't mad.

“Actually, Dean is in town from the road tomorrow, so hopefully, I'll be busy,” she replied with a giggle,”but can we have lunch one day next week? I miss you.”

“It's a date. We'll figure out where and when Monday and in the meantime, make good choices or take pictures. I love you,” you waited for her confirmation before hanging up.

As if on cue, the girls came bursting through the front door and all thoughts of men, dates, and the future of your love life were put on hold while you switched into mom mode.

“Any big news,” you questioned all three while they ate the snack you made for them. Being a stay at home mom had always been your dream after struggling as a working mom with Elizabeth and Jack. Mike had known how important it was to you and had moved heaven and earth to make it possible. ‘He still is,’ you thought as you observed how much all of the girls looked like him in their own way. Lily was the spitting image of him in every way. Harper looked like you, but had so much of his personality and attitude that she'd say something and all you could see was Mike. Charlotte was the wild card. She didn't look like either of you really, but had such a good mix of both your personalities that it was hard to see where one ended and the other began.

“We have a field trip to the aquarium coming up,” Charlotte announced through a mouth full of food.

Lily looked at her, appalled, “I got an A on my science project.”

Harper was unusually quiet, but she had always been a daddy's girl and had had the hardest time adjusting to life without Mike.

“Everything okay, punk,” you asked gently, crouching down in front of her.

She shook her head, but didn't offer more.

“Is it about Daddy,” you guessed tentatively.

She nodded a split second before she threw her arms around you and started crying, “I just miss him so much, Mama, and everything at school reminds me of him. I hate it. It hurts so much!”

You felt your own eyes well, but you tamped it down, knowing it would just make her cry harder. You squeezed her tight and rubbed her back for a minute then gently pulled back.

“Baby girl, you loved your daddy so much and that didn't just end when he was gone, so sometimes, when those feeling build up, the only place they have to go is down your face as tears. There's nothing wrong with that, but you know as well as I do that your daddy wouldn't want you sitting around being sad about him not being here. He'd hp want you to go out and have a ton of fun and then come home at night and tell him all about it because you know, if you talk to him at night, he hears you,” you explained carefully.

“Really?”

You smiled warmly at her, “Really and I know he loves hearing about what you're doing, so what do you say we finish snack and homework and then we can start getting the food and fire pit ready for tomorrow?”

That suggestion was met with effusive nods all around and both snack and homework were done in short order. You let the older two go stack wood in the fire pit while Charlotte helped you shuck corn and make coleslaw. You were having a barbecue with crock pot pulled pork, coleslaw, and grilled corn. The rest of the crew would bring various other dishes, so that you didn't have to do everything and, of course, there would be an adequate amount of alcohol.

Before you knew it, it was time to start working on tonight's dinner, since you had company coming over. Well, the boys, but you supposed they technically still counted as company. You were just shoving a lasagna into the oven when they walked through the door. The dogs, of course, lost their minds until you forced all of them into the backyard. There was a moment of quiet, but before you could even say hi, the girls descended and they all fell into a pile on the floor.

You took the moment to just watch them. They were so good with the girls. Treating them like they were their own, which the girls would be if anything ever happened to you, but no one outside this room knew that. Both Jake and Bradley had changed out of their uniforms into civilian clothes and they looked just as good, if not better, than they had this morning. Jake was wearing a dark green Henley, just tight enough jeans, and work boots. Bradley was wearing a matching burgundy shirt and similar jeans and boots. You'd be lying if you said you weren't checking their asses out while they were rolling on the floor with the kids. You were only human after all.

Grabbing Charlotte by her ankles, you hauled her up and started “eating” her stomach. The giggles were music to your ears. Setting her down, you pulled the other two out of the pile and sent them to have some chill time before dinner.

Jake started gathering things for a salad from the fridge and Bradley pulled out the garlic bread they brought and opened the wine. He preheated the oven to warm up the bread and turned to you while he waited for it to finish.

“That was a hell of a speech you gave this morning,” he commented, seeming to tread lightly.

You chuckled lightly, “Yeah, I might have gone a little overboard, but it's a good program and everyone just needs to get onboard and they'll see.”

“I hope you're right,” Bradley said off hand.

Jake saw the look you shot Bradley and stepped in before things got ugly.

“So, how was the rest of your morning, darlin,” he threw out quickly.

“Oh,” you started and then laughed lightly, “y'all won't believe this. I stopped to get coffee after my meeting this morning and Gabriel, you know, the barista at Common Grounds asked me out. How crazy is that?”

Jake saw Bradley's head snap up and knew things weren't going to go well.

“What,” Bradley's voice had a tone that seemed off.

“Yeah, I mean I turned him down. I'm not ready to date yet, but it was nice to be asked,” the more you spoke the guiltier you felt.

“I mean, of course, you told him no,” Bradley said with a certainty that rubbed you the wrong way.

You tried not to sound annoyed, but you knew you did, “What do you mean ‘of course’? I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to date whenever I feel ready.”

Bradley didn't seem to sense the danger he was in, but Jake sure did and he tried to give his partner the high sign to no avail.

“I mean, it's only been six months. If you started dating now it might send the wrong message. My mom didn't start dating until two years after my dad died and even then it was only occasionally and never amounted to anything,” Bradley spouted with superiority.

Jake saw what was coming, but was helpless to stop it. It was liking watching a car wreck in show motion.

You drew yourself up to your full, albeit unimpressive height, and said, “How dare you? You've never lost a partner you loved more than life itself. You've never lied in bed and wondered if it was possible to die of a broken heart and if it was, would your daughters find your body in the morning. So, if I decide that maybe I'm ready to get back out into the dating world, who are you, Bradley Bradshaw, to make me feel guilty about it. Screw you.”

You stomped off to tell the girls that dinner was ready then pulled the lasagna out of the oven and got the salad and dressings on the table ignoring the boys the entire time. Jake had done nothing wrong, but they were a pair and you'd be damned if you gave Bradley the satisfaction of acknowledging him without an apology.

Dinner was a quiet affair, but fortunately, the girls didn't seem to notice. Everything was cleared up in near silence. Then everything was done and there was nothing else to hide behind. All three of you stood there staring at your feet. The silence war becoming oppressive.

“Listen, umm, I'm sorry,”Bradley fumbled.

You scoffed, “Don't. Just don't. You made your stance abundantly clear. I thought I had you in my corner, supporting me through all the shit I have to deal with, but apparently it comes with stipulations, so just don't. I'm sure y'all can see yourselves out.”

You walked out, stopping to drop a kiss on Jake's cheek and a hug around his shoulders before heading down the hall to your room still slightly shaking with anger.

Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Jake pounced, “What the fuck was that?!?!?”

Bradley just shrugged knowing that he had royally fucked up, “I'm sorry. Just the thought of her with someone else was more than I could take. I panicked."

“Well congratulations, dumbass, you all but pushed her in that direction,” Jake hissed back, shooting a glance down the hall to make sure you weren't coming back, “now you need to figure out how to fix it. Come on, let's get out of here, so she can come out of her room. We'll come back in the morning and you'll fix it.”

You waited until you heard the back door close before coming out of your room to stand in the middle of the kitchen, tears streaming down your face.

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awesomelynerdymama · 17 days ago