awkwxrdapple - Tumblr blog

[awkwxrdapple]

Watchergate: 4/19-4/22

[awkwxrdapple]

The "If you were over 6 feet tall and living in Wellington in 2001 you didn't have a choice my dude" is killing me, like I'm just picturing the LOTR casting directors running around Wellington with a measuring tape, black-bagging tall guys and shoving them into vans.

"You're a Lord of the Rings extra now."

"No! Please! I have a family! I'm supposed to work the closing shift at the Pita Pit tonight!"

"You serve at the pleasure of the Steward of Gondor now."

[awkwxrdapple]

i already have a job and it's called keeping myself alive. why do i have to be employed on top of that

[awkwxrdapple]

My ideal aesthetic is what I'm calling "sexy tomboy". That is to say, I am 100% femme through and through, but I want to look like what a straight man's idea of a "masculine woman" is. I wanna be masc in the way that LaCroix is fruit flavored, just a little extra something to make things a little more interesting

[awkwxrdapple]

[awkwxrdapple]

would you a marry a swiftie with the same politics as you or a fascist with the same taste in art as you

this website has elevated suicide bait to an immaculate artform perfected like no other culture in history

[awkwxrdapple]

Using the bathroom in general is a human right and should be enshrined as such and I'm not joking. Too many groups of people are denied bathroom breaks or the use of bathrooms entirely--disabled people, blue-collar workers, children, homeless people, prisoners, students, the elderly. I'm surely missing other groups. Not using the bathroom when needed can cause serious, long-term damage, not to mention death. Free, clean, accessible bathrooms should be available everywhere. It's fucking cruel to deny someone the use of the bathroom, regardless of the reasoning. I'd rather every student in the world goof off and every homeless person make a mess and every worker "steal company time" than let one person suffer because they're denied the right to fucking pee in peace.

[awkwxrdapple]

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl… what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

[awkwxrdapple]

Me, leaving my friend’s apartment with his load tightly clenched in my ass to go get a DNA test done to see if his questionable girlfriend really is pregnant with his child:

[awkwxrdapple]

Media illiterate king <3

[awkwxrdapple]

Tomska going hard on Twitter again.

[awkwxrdapple]

Which path should he choose?

The path of the warrior, the path of the scholar, or the path of the artist?

[awkwxrdapple]

I just think it would be funny to switch things up and lead with "popular far-right online blogger, Joan Rowling" once in awhile.

[awkwxrdapple]

with access to the 2022 tumblr vernacular, he'd be unstoppable

[awkwxrdapple]

autistic life hack if you meed ypur food prepared a specific way and your needs aren't being listened to as an adult, pretend you have an autistic kid you are ordering for as people are more sympathetic to helping autistic caretakers than actual autistic people

[awkwxrdapple]

Our fandom forbearers did NOT suffer through Anne Rice, strikethrough, and other bullshit for fucking ACOTAR and Harry Potter fans to fucking ruin it for all of us by selling fanfiction. I am not losing novel length yaoi epics because some of you don't know how to act in fannish spaces and yes I do blame the booktokification of fanfic but I also blame those of you that treat fandom like content to consume and not a community to engage with.

[awkwxrdapple]

WOW so talented!