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«“Don’t ask anyone for permission to be you. Embrace what makes you happy.”»

— Forked: A Lighthearted Utensil Romance by Ruth Cardello.

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«“Not believing is like keeping a faucet turned off and wondering why there’s no water. Believing comes first.”»

— Forked: A Lighthearted Utensil Romance by Ruth Cardello.

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«I shouldn’t care. She’s not mine. But I want her to be.»

— Forked: A Lighthearted Utensil Romance by Ruth Cardello.

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«My only excuse, if I even allow myself one, is that my entire life is upside down and my feelings for her are the only thing that makes sense.»

— Forked: A Lighthearted Utensil Romance by Ruth Cardello.

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«“You’re the answer to questions I never thought my heart would ask.”»

— Forked: A Lighthearted Utensil Romance by Ruth Cardello.

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Forked: A Lighthearted Utensil Romance by Ruth Cardello

Is that an earthquake or is your fork happy to see you? Imagine a WWII super soldier and his unit were trapped in cutlery by the government and the only way they could transform back was by being intimate with a woman . . . Shortly after moving to a new city, Mercedes buys a set of antique silverware from an estate sale and discovers she has a preference for one particular fork. Is the man who appears when the fork disappears real or a salacious fantasy? If he is real, is he crazy or could he actually be what he claims to be? Are you open-minded enough to accept him as he is? And fall in love with a fork? Find out how far Mercedes is willing to go to save him and his friends in SPOONED and KNIFED. Cautionary The spicy scenes in this novella are purely fictional. Please do not attempt to re-enact any of them at home. I don’t want to hear that my readers FAFO (Forked Around and Found Out). Tines hurt. Let’s keep the forks on the table where they belong.

Review

I found this trilogy thanks to an Instagram reel and I feel so bad to not have saved it because now I would like to thank that person.

At first, I thought this was a joke. (And it is!) But the more time that passed after watching the reel, the more curious I was. I’m not gonna lie, I was all in just for the spice. I needed a good, and silly, moment after all the accumulated stress, and doing so with a fork isn’t the worst idea that has come to mind, if I can be honest. So I grabbed the book!

The author’s note totally got me and I welcomed the strange story with open arms. It was weird, silly, and short, which I appreciated. I have been in a reading slump for so long, it was hurting me, but this was a quick read and I had a great time and I believe that was the intention. Something silly to brighten an already dark day. I may even be good to read again!

Again, to not lie, I was mostly trying to not get frustrated because I wanted to reach one scene and one scene only, and it’s near the end. But on the way there I got to fall in love with the super soldier and get invested with his story. So here’s my thinking: the whole trilogy was just one book divided into three parts with different protagonists and the sort, but separated into three books to make it easier.

It worked on me.

I’m totally into reading the rest, especially if they’re as short. But if the last one is about that character�� I dunno, I don’t feel as inclined for him. Just to end the story? Just to end the story.

Phrases that I liked so much that I marked them while reading

«“You’re the answer to questions I never thought my heart would ask.”» — Chapter Nine.

«My only excuse, if I even allow myself one, is that my entire life is upside down and my feelings for her are the only thing that makes sense.» — Chapter Sixteen.

«I shouldn’t care. She’s not mine. But I want her to be.» — Chapter Sixteen.

«“Not believing is like keeping a faucet turned off and wondering why there’s no water. Believing comes first.”» — Chapter Eighteen.

«“Don’t ask anyone for permission to be you. Embrace what makes you happy.”» — Chapter Eighteen.

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He instinctively reached his hand out and touched the other side of the bed, but found it empty. Then he heard it. A voice, mingling with the still, small voice of the water with which he’d become so familiar. Her voice. He walked to the deck of the ship in a haze, sweat soaking through his clothes, his fever raging. The water was still, and the moon hung high in the sky. He followed her voice to the forecastle and peered out onto the water. And there she was, like his own personal siren. She was standing on the water, her hand stretched out, inviting him. Sighing contentedly, he smiled at the apparition. “I’m with you,” he said, and stepped off the edge into the arms of the ocean below. And they lived happily ever after—again, and again, and again.

Fated Tides: A Metaphysical Love Story by Sarah Faeth Sanders.

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Ace placed her hand on top of Zander’s, and their eyes met. As Theo and Yarrow continued to laugh, peppering each other with kisses, Ace and Zander simply stared at each other. The world narrowed, for each of them, to one blaringly bright and beautiful point. Two souls—one hopelessly wandering, the other running for her life—yet they’d somehow met in the middle and become each other’s solid ground in which to grow roots. Their lives until that point had been but a series of fractal paths leading ever inward, toward each other. “Tomorrow,” Zander echoed, squeezing Ace’s hand in a promise. “And the next day, and the day after that,” Ace said. Forever.

Fated Tides: A Metaphysical Love Story by Sarah Faeth Sanders.

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“You are clever as you are brave, my love,” Zander said, pulling her closer.

Fated Tides: A Metaphysical Love Story by Sarah Faeth Sanders.

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“I kept it in a glass bottle that once held perfume—smelly, awful stuff Ignacio tried to get me to wear.” She shuddered at the thought, and Zander leaned in to smell her natural musk appreciatively, making her smile.

Fated Tides: A Metaphysical Love Story by Sarah Faeth Sanders.

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“Wait.” “God, not again,” Ace said. “What?”

Fated Tides: A Metaphysical Love Story by Sarah Faeth Sanders.

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“Now, with that out of the way,” he said, narrowing his eyes, “where were we?” “Right here,” Ace said, gripping his erection over his pants and gently squeezing. A sound escaped Zander’s mouth that was something between a moan and a surprised squeal not befitting a pirate of his caliber. As he leaned forward to capture her mouth with his, Ace leaned back teasingly so that all he could do was groan into her mouth as she continued to caress him.

Fated Tides: A Metaphysical Love Story by Sarah Faeth Sanders.

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“I love you, Ace. Do you know that?” Ace nodded, a tentative smile forming on her face. “I mean, I really love you,” Zander clarified. “Like, run away and become a pirate kind of love. Like lay down my life kind of love.” Zander’s voice broke, and he took a moment to breathe deeply before continuing. “Before you knocked me unconscious with the handle of that cutlass”—he pointed accusingly at the cutlass in question, still hanging from her hip, and she grimaced—“you said you loved me, too. And before you say anything, hear me out. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were the only one for me. Something deep inside my soul reached through bone, muscle, and sinew, pushing through every layer of who I thought I was and bursting from my body just for a chance to touch you. That feeling hasn’t gone away. “The air I breathe feels stale when you’re not sharing it. The last few days have been torture, knowing you’re in trouble, knowing you could be hurt, or dead. Ace, I want to spend every moment with you for the rest of my life. I want to fall asleep with you each night and wake up with you each morning. I want to know everything, all of it, even the deep, shameful parts of you. Little by little or all at once like a flood, I’ll take whatever you can give me, and I’ll give you whatever you want in return.” Zander steeled himself for the next part, trying not to let the tears running down Ace’s pretty face discourage him. “But I would rather die than be another man who keeps you when you don’t want to be kept. I want to know—I need to know. I need to know if you feel the same about me. I need to know if you see us as something that could last forever, or if I’ve just been convenient to have around.” Ace gasped softly, her face taking on a pained expression. “Convenient?” she whispered, taking a step toward him. “Zander. You have been anything but convenient.” Zander’s brows shot up, but Ace raised her hands in a silent plea for patience before she continued. “Before I docked in Barbados the day I met you, I had committed myself to never, ever falling in love. It was a way to keep myself safe. I had Theo and Yarrow—my family—and the crew, and that was enough for me. But then you showed up, and god damnit if you didn’t mess everything all up by chasing me down when I ran away.” She laughed, a sputtering sound through her tears. “And you know, if you hadn’t chased me, it would have only been a matter of time before I came back and found you again. You were stuck in my mind like a splinter.” Ace took another step toward him, so they were nearly touching. She took his hand and intertwined their fingers, holding their hands between them near their hearts, and looked boldly into his eyes. “I bless the fated tides that brought me to your shore. If I could, I would kiss the very stars for guiding me to you, my love, my Zander. I’m sorry I haven’t said it before. In every life I will find you. No matter how far I may travel, no matter the winds that push me this way or that, know this: I have always been on my way to you. And now that I’ve found you… and you’ve found me”—she smiled ironically—“I am never letting you go again.”

Fated Tides: A Metaphysical Love Story by Sarah Faeth Sanders.

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Ace made a soft sound against his lips, and he nearly came undone.

Fated Tides: A Metaphysical Love Story by Sarah Faeth Sanders.

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When he fished a handful of gold coins from his pocket and dropped them on the table, followed by another, her eyes widened. “Where did you get those?” she asked. Zander took off his coat, winking at her as he did. “I stole them,” he said. Ace’s eyes narrowed mischievously, her grin widening. “Pirate,” she said. She sauntered toward him. “Oh, you have no idea,” Zander said. “Not only did I steal those coins”—he removed his twin daggers from his boots and placed them on the table—“I commandeered an entire pirate ship, killed a quarter of the men on board, and ran it aground.” A mixture of emotions flitted across Ace’s face. At first, humor, when she thought he was joking. Then, shock, tenderness, and admiration. “Scoundrel,” she said, her voice filled with lust and pride as she closed the distance between them. “Aye,” he agreed, his voice rough with emotion as Ace gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him toward her.

Fated Tides: A Metaphysical Love Story by Sarah Faeth Sanders.

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And he knew if he found out she didn’t feel the same, it would shatter him beyond repair.

Fated Tides: A Metaphysical Love Story by Sarah Faeth Sanders.

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It was a love that wrenched open the deepest parts of him, a love that made him feel vast and seen, a love that had no room for anything but bold-faced authenticity—a love that spanned lifetimes.

Fated Tides: A Metaphysical Love Story by Sarah Faeth Sanders.