azure-firecracker

[azure-firecracker]

In case it wasn't clear:

If I'm consuming that media you told me about, it means I want to connect with you.

If I am asking you to tell me about your fandoms and your interests, it's because I love hearing you ramble, and I will never get tired of it.

If I listen to music I know you like, it is because I love thinking of you.

When I ask you to tell me about the things you love, I am not indulging you or waiting until I can speak again. I ask you because art, fiction, music, media - that is my language. It is how I communicate. It is how I connect.

It is not always easy for me to tell people what they mean to me.

But I ask you about the art you love because I want to hear you. Always.

[azure-firecracker]

the older you get the more you realize no age is really "old" in the way young people conceptualize it. you always feel like you and you can be cool, interesting, funny, weird, passionate, silly, lively, human no matter how many years you've been alive. if someone is boring and curmudgeonly that's a personal issue

[azure-firecracker]

Prompt #1195

"You're pretty annoying."

"Oh my god, you think I'm pretty?"

"And that's the annoying part."

[azure-firecracker]

@castrotophic

how come in every disco Elysium post I see, the mustache one is being a massive cringe fail loser (usually face first on the floor), while the bald one is off to the side serving metric tons of cunt

[azure-firecracker]

If no appetite and very little food all day why stomach hurt?

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characters with prey animal rage

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@castrotophic

we are carried. - Sara Rian

[azure-firecracker]

Bring Me The Boss Hog

[azure-firecracker]

Finished 154 and I have thoughts.

Because (in my opinion) if Jon had asked Martin to go with him a season ago, Martin would have done it.

"Such loyalty to someone who really treats you very badly."

"Oh, is that supposed to be, what, a revelation?"

He knew from the beginning that this wasn't reciprocated love. Considering he learned from his mother that love meant trying and trying and getting nothing back, maybe he thinks reciprocated love doesn't even exist. That this giving and giving and getting nothing back...that's what love is.

But a season ago he had hope. The Lonely was there, it always was (and trust I'll have thoughts on this later), but it hadn't wrapped around him yet or lured him in. It's that specific experience of loving someone with everything in you, knowing you'll never get that love back, and making the conscious decision not to care, to hang on and keep hoping.

And then Jon dies. And then there isn't a hope anymore. Not even a fantasy. And then the Lonely comes. And it makes him bitter. And it tells him that any love that comes his way must be a lie. It's what the evidence supports, after all.

Martin isn't wrong - Jon was never really going to blind himself and run away. But Martin is wrong about the fact that Jon came to him only because he wanted an excuse. Jon really did want to run away together, even if he never would. But Martin can't comprehend that Jon loves him. He can't believe in it. Can't trust it. And between the Lonely and his track record, who can blame him?

It's not that he's learned anything new. It's that the Lonely taught him to stop hoping because it was safer.

[azure-firecracker]

Loneliness as a defense mechanism.

Loneliness as a perpetual inescapable state.

Loneliness because self-imposed isolation will always be easier than letting people in and letting people hurt you.

Loneliness casting you into hell because it's easier to put yourself there than allow yourself to be taken there with the knowledge that no one will look for you.

Loneliness because you've never quite managed to break past the periphery of people's lives and trying hurts so why even do it?

Loneliness because it's easier to give up.

Loneliness because you didn't give up.

Loneliness because you never bothered to connect.

Loneliness because all you ever did was try to connect.

Loneliness because love is terrifying to give.

Loneliness because you gave all your love away and never received any in return.

Loneliness because it's safer to guard your heart inside you, behind stone walls and foggy mirages, where no one can touch it.

Loneliness because you took your poor, fragile heart, and handed it to those you loved. You knew they would break it. It didn't stop you.

[azure-firecracker]

nice pair of characters who trust each other more than anyone else in the whole entire world it would sure be a shame if one of them betrayed that trust for the sake of trying to keep the other alive. it would sure be a shame to love someone so much you destroy them

[azure-firecracker]

Stupid season of the Lonely turns into late night thoughts turns into if you disappeared they'd never notice and it would be so much easier because it wouldn't hurt anymore

I'm only on 142 spoil past that and I stab you.

[azure-firecracker]

He went straight into the hug 🥺❤️

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The ship name for zatanna and Artemis in the animated young justice being lesbians backwards is actually hilarious

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No because actually I'm not done with this train of thought.

We all love "It's rotten work." "Not to me. Not if it's you."

But what about "It's rotten work." "Not to me, because of me. Because I am someone who loves without reason and against all logic. Because I will always love even if the work is rotten and there isn't just cause. Because it doesn't matter what you need, I will hold my heart out to you because I am a lover above all else. No matter if it will be returned, no matter what it takes out of me, the act of care will never be rotten work to me."

[azure-firecracker]

Lines from my OCs:

"Why do you care for me so adamantly?" (Other character begins to speak) "And don't pull some cliché like 'it's you' or 'you're special.' I may be dying but I'm no fool."

"Alright, then. It's because of me. Because I am someone who cares without reason and loves against all logic. It is the most nonsensical part of me and the only part of me you'll never understand."

(Years later)

"Why do you care for me like this? After everything, we..."

(Other character interrupts) "Because it's you, you idiot."

(Laughs) "You once told me never to say something like that."

"You remembered that?"

"You're the most intelligent person I've ever met. I remember everything you say."

[azure-firecracker]

scully shooting mulder is so fucking funny, he literally wakes up and goes "you shot me!" and she's like "yeah, you're welcome" and then they never talk about it again