b-utchfreak

[b-utchfreak]

Here’s a text I sent my bestie in regards to me realizing I’m a butch lesbian, not aroace. It’s a bit long so I put it under a readmore, but it felt very therapeutic to write this all out into words even if they’re hardly coherent or anything. Hope you enjoy and maybe relate! Also an update that I have on my sexuality is that I think I may not be ace either and may just be a stone butch!

“OK SO

Gender Expression in the identity of Butch - being Butch completely and utterly explains my transmasc feelings, I am girl boy, I am lesboy, like I have masculine feelings and like masculine presenting and pronouns and compliments ect ect ect because I am Butch. And not every Butch feels like that but it seems to be very common both in today’s standard and in the past MANY (100+) years. It’s so much that I can’t even put into words but it just makes so much sense.

Romantic Feelings - I think the reason I thought I was aromantic for a hot minute is because of A) internalized homophobia (basically that it’s easier to be none than to be one) and B) that I struggle to get crushes on women in the proper sense that I want to pursue a relationship. By that I mean I have a crush on most women I meet, I think women are beautiful and stunning and amazing but I am way more selective with women than I was with men, quite literally because I like women and not men. With men I liked basically any guy and was willing to pursue a relationship with any guy because I didn’t actually have feelings for him, I just thought that’s how things worked. Whereas because I do in fact like women, I am more selective.

Liking Butches in particular - first of all stating this off with a non serious comment - I have been in the Butch tag all day to get outfit inspo but instead it’s basically just been me staring at gorgeous gorgeous handsome handsome butches and being like insane for them and feeling so embarrassed about it LMFAO, anyways!! I like femmes yes, but I think my preference really is butch women, butch4butch if you will, because the qualities I found attractive in men, I found impossible for a man to have in my own standards and opinions, but they are quite literally all the qualities a butch has most of the time. Being kind and chivalrous, being a caretaker in the relationship, being masculine in a feminine way, being a hopeless romantic (lesbian stereotype literally), ect ect more and more, but also allowing me to be that way to them as well!!! There’s so many more layers to it but in the end it just makes so much more sense to me.

I just feel very confident in this, and I also know that a big sign I have that I’m right is how fucking jealous I am of lesbians and how much I’ve always (even in my baby gay era) wished I was a lesbian. I just wanted to be wlw so so much but didn’t think I could possibly be for so long and then even after looking into the lesbian master doc and stuff I still couldn’t feel confident enough in my identity, and I think a lot of that had to do with my gender identity as well because I felt that I was very feminine and I think it was in a more of a “I have to revert to being a woman” way rather than a genuine feeling. Idk it’s so weird I can’t even explain how I feel about it now like properly other than the clouds are gone and I can see the moon clearly and she is a beautiful butch woman LMFAO”

[b-utchfreak]

WELCOME 🌿

I’m Kenz & this is my tumblr! Just wanted to put some info here for all to see at the top of my page!

First some info about me; I’m 22, autistic & more, a butch lesbian & ace, and I use any pronouns! I have many special interests and hyperfixations so you’ll see a lot of random unrelated shit on this page. Mainly though, I want to use this for lesbian stuff, as this isn’t actually my main blog! My main blog is @audhdkenz but it’s also a shitshow, I’m working on turning it into my art blog.

If you want to find me anywhere else online, I’m @ butchfreak on TikTok & Insta! I use my TikTok the most out of any social media. If we’re moots here and you want to be moots there just lmk that it’s you and I’ll follow back! I love my moots <3

I hope you enjoy your stay, and please take care, bye!!!