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great content good work everyone

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When someone you hate sits next to you in class

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I’m sad Tyreese didn’t make it to the ASZ. He’d flourish, there. He could be the kindergarten teacher, and chase gentle little people around all day.

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there was a time when a moment like this wouldn’t ever cross my mind

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having a mental illness like

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Favorite YouTube Meme: Game Grumps~

“You’ve got to make a statement. You’ve got to look inside yourself and say: What am I willing to put up with today?“

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I have a plan, that’s not that unique of a thing to say.

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Me: I love this game because you have so many options and you never have to play the same game twice.

Me: *always plays the game the exact same way every single time*

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Wind Waker HD  +  Waterfall 

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That autism feel when: gets anxious > tries to explain > gets misunderstood > gets more anxious and more nonverbal > gets more misunderstood > turns into a blob of panic, desperate for affection but noone cares

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Javert, Fantine, and Poverty

I read  this post full of fascinating information about French police officers at the time when Hugo wrote Les Miserables about a week ago, so I’m way behind, but it brings up a few issues I’ve been wanting to address.  I think it’s definitely important to be aware of these facts about Javert’s poverty, and it does add a lot to my understanding of the character.  But, I’m a bit skeptical of readings that focus on Javert as a marginalized person at the expense of his utter contempt and lack of empathy for other marginalized people.  It’s an easy mistake to make; when I reblogged that post, one of my tags reads “no wonder he’s such an asshole.” Now that I’ve given it more thought, though, I’m not sure his poverty has much, if anything, to do with that.  

As much as I appreciate this post, I find the comparison between Javert and Fantine a bit troubling.  The OP writes:

“For the purposes of comparison: Fantine at her most hopelessly indigent, sleeping five hours a night and sewing the rest of the time, made 12 sous a day - the annual equivalent of 219 francs, and as a prostitute, she is said to have made 100 sous a day - the annual equivalent of 1,825 francs.“

Javert, according to the OP, would have made 8-16 sous a day, potentially less than Fantine as a seamstress and significantly less than Fantine as a prostitute.  The significant difference here is that Fantine does not want to be a prostitute.  She sells her teeth before she’s willing to succumb to that fate, and she does succumb quite literally.  Hugo describes her taking up prostitution as “society purchasing a slave.” The money, of which she sends nearly all to the Thenardiers, is the only condition that makes this job acceptable to her; there’s nothing else she can do that will pay so well. 

When Hugo describes Javert, though, it is as someone who could not be better suited to his job; he writes, “he possessed the conscience of his usefulness, the religion of his function, and he was a spy as other men are priests.”  Javert never complains of, or draws any attention to, how little he makes.  When he goes to demand that Madeleine discharge him for insubordination, he says, “I have arms. I will till the soil; it makes no difference to me.  Mr. Mayor, the good of the service demands an example.” As devoted as he is to the service, Javert is aware that he has other options.  He’s not acting as a police inspector out of desperation.  This is his dream job; it just doesn’t pay very well.

The other issue that the OP raises with Fantine and Javert is, of course, the arrest and the question of who exactly he has the authority to arrest: “When Javert arrests Fantine instead of Bamatabois, it’s pretty much because Fantine is the only one he *can* arrest: slapping the cuffs on a citizen and an elector is simply outside of the boundaries of his authority.” No. If Javert only wanted to put an end to the disturbance, he could have taken Fantine into custody and released her that night, or the next morning.  Instead, he tells her, “You will get six months. […] the Eternal Father in person could do nothing more.” This is obviously a ridiculously severe sentence for a woman who’s guilty of nothing more than slapping someone who was really asking to get slapped; Javert is not the one who’s helpless here.

I don’t really think he has it in for Fantine in particular; as we see in the scene where he demands (”asks” really doesn’t cover it) to be dismissed in disgrace, he doesn’t believe in a light sentence for anyone, ever. That seems to be a very important consideration when reading him as marginalized, whether as an impoverished inspector or perhaps the only racially diverse character in the novel.  Hugo tells us he had “an inexpressible hatred for the race of bohemians whence he was sprung” and that “he would have arrested his own father, if the latter had escaped from the galleys, and would have denounced his mother, if she had broken her ban.” Even if there are few characters who are more marginalized than he is, no one is harder on the marginalized than Javert.

He’s still my favorite character, though.  I find him fascinating, largely because of all of his contradictions.  But, I find that I’m usually at odds with whatever I read, whether its defensive or critical.  My last Les Mis meta is probably a little too defensive of him.  Either way, I don’t think I’ll be tired of writing about him for some time to come.

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Valjean, Javert, and the Possibility of Change.

Since I have a little bit of free time this week, I wanted to explore some thoughts on the parallels between Jean Valjean and Javert in the songs that accompany their first encounters with moral conundrums in the musical: Valjean’s “What Have I Done” and “Javert’s Suicide.” Not only is the second song a reprise of the first, it even includes some of the same lyrics, which I discuss at greater lengths below the cut. Compared side by side, these songs seem to foreground Valjean’s saintliness and Javert’s shortcomings.  Valjean has the strength to survive his moral conundrum, and many others to follow, while one proves too much for Javert to handle; he kills himself when the song is over.  However, I would argue that this parallel is misleading and overlooks many of the circumstances surrounding these confrontations with change.  While I would love to read some different interpretations, it seems to me that paralleling these two song invites us to overlook a lot of what we have seen about these characters, even  in the musical, in favor of a too easy explanation of their different fates.

Read More

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aphroditehell

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When someone you hate sits next to you in class

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when u finally nail the high note - more vines

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Everything Is Awful and I’m Not Okay: questions to ask before giving up

Are you hydrated?  If not, have a glass of water.

Have you eaten in the past three hours?  If not, get some food — something with protein, not just simple carbs.  Perhaps some nuts or hummus?

Have you showered in the past day?  If not, take a shower right now.

If daytime: are you dressed?  If not, put on clean clothes that aren’t pajamas.  Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.

If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep?  Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes — no electronic screens allowed.  If you’re still awake after that, you can get up again; no pressure.

Have you stretched your legs in the past day?  If not, do so right now.  If you don’t have the spoons for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block, then keep walking as long as you please.  If the weather’s crap, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target) and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally skip.

Have you said something nice to someone in the past day?  Do so, whether online or in person.  Make it genuine; wait until you see something really wonderful about someone, and tell them about it.

Have you moved your body to music in the past day?  If not, do so — jog for the length of an EDM song at your favorite BPM, or just dance around the room for the length of an upbeat song.

Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?  If not, do so.  Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets.  Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them.

Do you feel ineffective?  Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an e-mail, loading up the dishwasher, or packing your gym bag for your next trip.  Good job!

Do you feel unattractive?  Take a goddamn selfie.  Your friends will remind you how great you look, and you’ll fight society’s restrictions on what beauty can look like.

Do you feel paralyzed by indecision?  Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day.  If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable.  Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.

Have you seen a therapist in the past few days?  If not, hang on until your next therapy visit and talk through things then.

Have you been over-exerting yourself lately — physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually?  That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment.

Have you changed any of your medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand?  That may be screwing with your head.  Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down.

Have you waited a week?  Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause.  It happens.  Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.

You’ve made it this far, and you will make it through.  You are stronger than you think.