balanceworks - Tumblr blog

[balanceworks]

FOCUS on living in the now - enjoy the manifested show - be conscious it is a show :)

To realise we are nothing, that our minds manifest our reality- what a liberating idea

We are but a collection of conditioning - from the culture we live in, to the influence of those we love and respect.

We attach to ideas and things, I am a father, I am a teacher, I look good in these clothes, I have a nice house, I am good at art, I am kind to others.... These are illusions we paint with our mind, the stories we tell ourselves and others - to give us purpose, fabricate our identity and make sense of how we spend time.

Set your self free, realise your mind manifests your perception of you, from your years on this planet. Enjoy that you are nothing. Laugh at your mind, as you 'notice' your thoughts justifying why and how you should act...Relax into 'Being'....

It's OK to enjoy the experience of our ego. Enjoying, others showing appreciation for what you bring to the party is cool, witness the experience and don't attach to the feeling, don't let the need for that experience again run you...

Nothing last forever, everything is impermanent, you will age, money will go, relationships change - don't suffer by attaching to things, ideas and people - FOCUS on living in the now - enjoy the manifested show - be conscious it is a show

[balanceworks]

Ideas on helping a friend with depression

I have a friend who reached out and said they were feeling down and so I wanted to speak to them and try and help.

I am lucky to know a counsellor and so I called for advice - the below are the notes I took from my conversation.

Capturing here, as hoping this might help someone else in this situation.

Try to start the conversations by not making any assumptions about what might be wrong and just listen.

Its important to know that you are not a counsellor (you are a friend) so you can help but you probably won't be able to fix things.

Let them do most of the talking - create space for them- don't try and give ideas on solutions too soon - instead reflect back what you are hearing and empathise with them.

Let them know its very normal to feel like this.

Encourage them to go and see their doctor - they will be able to properly asses how they are and if medication and/or counselling could help.

You could use or encourage them to use diagnosis tools - like one available on NHS. This could help them understand their current position and encourage them to get help from a doctor.

Don't be afraid to ask them if they are having suicidal thoughts - I was advised, there is no link between asking someone this and them actually carrying out suicide (here is a paper I found on the topic). But by asking you could encourage them to talk to a their doctor and/or the Samaritans.

If their doctor suggests counselling then it may take some time for a no cost counsellor to become available - the doctor will probably suggest local charities etc that have groups etc to support people dealing with mental health challenges - charities like Mind.

If you do end up offering some friendly advice - be led by them, if you sense that they are seeing the advice or suggested next steps as positive then go with it. It really depends on their mental state whether they will be ready to take on advice and action it, so just feel it out.

The key is to listen, create space for them, encourage them to get professional help and be there as a friend regularly checking in on them - but not taking it all on yourself to solve their challenges.

Hope this list helps.