barnmousecries

[barnmousecries]

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

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Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that

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just in case no one told you, you did well this year. you don’t even realize it :( I’m proud of you, you should be proud of yourself too

[barnmousecries]

A cis woman tells me that maybe she should transition to gain male privilege as I'm recovering from getting beaten up in the men's bathrooms.

I tell her to be my guest and give me a call when she gets her jaw broken, I always carry a first aid kit and a pepper spray.

She calls me a misogynistic asshole.

A cis man tells me that he'd sure love some T.

Gave him my prescription and best of luck with the constant shortages and getting denied.

He calls me a pussy.

I'm fighting for my life and reproductive rights. I get told to get off women's fights, that it's not about me, like I shed my womb after my first T shot.

I search for support groups for SA victims, and I'm stuck in the same “women/NBs only”. Still shooting my shot, send an application. I introduce myself. Never get a call back.

I go to a trans night. Say I go by he/him. Get told back “yeah, that's how we all start !” by a trans woman. I'm too exhausted, I get up and I leave.

I hang out with my friends, one of them drunkenly says masculinity is a prison we must learn to escape. She gets rows of applause. Back to drinking alone.

Yes I could explain it. But who'd you rather be ? A delusional girl or a man made threat ?Or it could be better, I could just not exist ! And we'd bleach my corpse and I'd become a casualty. Not an F, ot an M, a W for Wound and for Wrong.

I put a candle on a single cupcake, 2 years on HRT. I blow it in the dark. Curtains closed like casket.

[barnmousecries]

thank you to trees and also rain

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shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

[barnmousecries]

Quick shout out to skin!

For being soft and warm! Also, you contain horrors I cannot comprehend...

[barnmousecries]

they’re called rabbits when they’re underground and they’re called bunnies when they break out from the earths crust

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one day you’ll wake up at 9:30am on a Sunday w the love of ur life and you’ll make some coffee and pancakes and it’ll all be alright

[barnmousecries]

Rare pity, mercy and compassion of the giants called humanity

[barnmousecries]

Again, they come running to my call of distress

only to burrow in my skin and call me delicate

their stinger falling off upon entry

They want to peel off each layer to watch it grow back shiny and new.

They choke for me as I swallow their marbles but they won’t bleed for me

won’t breathe for me

and my humming bird heart won’t sway

nor listen to what you have to say

won’t cry as you break my bones

[barnmousecries]

It’s crazy how low self-worth fucks with peoples lives

[barnmousecries]

A repost of some of my writing…

Keep reading

[barnmousecries]

Sometimes it's useful to look at your dialogue and ask yourself, "would a real human being talk like that?" But it's also good to ask the follow-up questions of "would the way a real human being talks sound good here" and "does this character actually talk like a real human being or are they weird about it."

[barnmousecries]

Thinking about... Grieving the undead.

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[barnmousecries]

i love you fries i love you hash browns i love you roasted potatoes i love you mashed potatoes i love you potato chips i love you potato pancakes i love you potato croquettes i love you hasselback potatoes i love you tater tots i love you potatoes