baterbeezbb

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oh u got the metnal illnes?

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favorite person: [gives me attention]

me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[baterbeezbb]

“Trust yourself. You have survived a lot. And you will survive whatever is coming.”

— Unknown

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another letter to future self

hello future self?how ya doin?hope youre good.if not i always hope you will be coz u know,ur my future haha.

im not quite ok myself.just had a mental breakdown last night.well if you can remember.im not joking.you did have a mental breakdown last night.i mean almost.lol funny i can't type what actually happened fearing someone who knows me will read this but im like 99% sure no one will tho.see how annoying you are?i hope by this time you've lessened the amount of our annoyingness.lol.this post is written in every pov there is.wow.point of view i mean.

okay.can you please bear with me?i have changed my mind and decided to tell you what happened.you were watching pba last night.and i have to remind you that you actually finished all your chores before full sitting in to watch because you were afraid that your father will get angry.i love my father.uhm our father.i really do.but he really gets to my nerves almost everytime by now.i hope he's still alive when you read this.remember when your dream was to make them proud?have you made it?i mean did made it?if not go kill yourself you shit!if you did yey!we made it!haha.but honestly that is my dream.to make them proud of me.to make them feel that im something of worth.to make up all the hard work they've done for us.for my sisters.for me.well back to the story.(your not a good writer nor storyteller you see)so you were watching and it was i think past 10.he said something like go to sleep and whatever but as usual you were stubborn as fck so you didn't.he keep going on and on about you sleeping early and you went annoyed and poof.he got angry.so you turned off the tv a little too violently so he did not shut his fucking mouth.yep fucking mouth.i can't believe i typed that.you were so angry you were actually shaking.you ran to the comfort room and washed your fun run shirt.the red one.angrily.then you decided to find a cloth hanger in the dark.made a somewhat violent noise from it AND ANOTHER FUCKING BOOM @!EQW VJKl!your father shouted foul things to you.things you can't tpoe,well i can't type bcause  i cant;t  take them. i tried not listening to them.but the hell it swirls in my mind even the dya after.glad i was in school and had some friends around thatt made me forget about it momentarily.im afraid im slowly hating home but im also afarid to admit that i have my doubts with my friendship outside too.im always the backup friend you see.you actually didn't have a best friend did you?always alone for the darkest times.never had anyone you can confide anything into.just friends at school.friends who have an actual social life other than what exists at school.unlike you.you only have yourself.its sad but idk.im living with it.im trying to get accustomed and well,its working for a bit.

i want to write more but knowing you/me i would get tired of my own shit lol.but anyways.please be happy.im having a rough one here so i hope you wont be the same because then i would have to go through this all ove again.i hope you've made friends then.or maybe even a best freind.wish you l=all the best mate.make your parents proud.love your family.have better relationship with God please.i hope you've become spiritually succesful by now.i mean like financially stable?lol.beacause im having doubts now.sorry Lord but i am.i love you but i don't know.just like what i always say im floating.in the ocean.you're throwing me a life line but im not taking it.i like to but i don't know the right way to swim to it.im afraid to drown.also afraid of drowning by trying to swim to it.

..just be happy please.genuinely happy

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[baterbeezbb]

hey there ya future self

you just read a queue that is not due yet to be posted ya little piece of trash

anyways you’re currently studying for the board exams and well you might as well take the first 3 letters bcozzzz hell yeah it’s a fuckin emotional,physical and intellectual roller coaster you’ve been (well i’ve) goin through.

and to make things even better, the past months(and year?) have been also tough for you HURRAY. can our luck even get better???

but hey,

uhm

im quite experiencing something here.

i don’t think you can help me though.lols

but doncha worry knowing you and me we’ll be able to figure this out..it’s just a little sad that the note i read even though that as written years ago??that sad empty feeling is somewhat still the feeling that you’re fighting right now..and it uhh i think its amplified because your brain is just too tired right now..you just sometimes fall into uhm,,can i call it depression?idk but yeah..you just randomly feel lonely every now and then.its kinda funny because i’m typing this with another person in proximity haha.fgjdlfkjjgsdlfghdjlkvnlsrgtndfnvae

dfgdfkjghdflgjkdhgiotrujg

so anyways this fucking post is going nowhere but hey i just wanna tell you that if you’re going still going through what i’ve been going through,they uhm hey!cheer up HAHAHAH you’ve been going there before and if sadly that is just a continuatiion of my suffering then i guess im sorry..but like i’ve said cheer up!!because uhm i don’t know else what to do or any solutions to that other than cheering up!HAHAHAH we’re still useless are we?or is it just me?then if it’s just me then congratulations!!!!but it’s stilll the both of us then just keep trying eh?for me?for us?

ps. i try to be better everyday(even though i think i fail at this lols) so please keep trying too?okay? :)

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i’m kinda happy but i also really wanna get hit by a car at the same time

@sexual-texts (via sexual-texts)

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For more Visit MY BLOG HERE.

[baterbeezbb]

If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself.

Nikita Gill (via wordsnquotes)

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err

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