beanenigma

[beanenigma]

P.S my character is from Rio

Awesome!

I did get that vibe from her.

Rio is a beautiful city (if a bit hard to get around. So much commuting EVERYWHERE!!!)

[beanenigma]

Also, last thing I didn't get to say in the last reply, I apologize if it seems a bit offensive or ignorant of the culture. I am working to revise and improve the character profile using the advice you have given. Thanks again 😊

Hope you have a good morning/day/night

Oh, yeah, don't worry about it! I'm glad you reached out! Means you're making an effort and you care about the end product <3

You too!

[beanenigma]

Thanks for the advice, very helpful!!

Glad to help <3

[beanenigma]

Ok, thanks in advance

Name: Izabel “Iza” Hamamura de Salles

Gender: Female

Race: Brazilian

Age: 17

Appearance: Slightly below average height with a toned, pear-shaped build. Medium brown skin, hazel colored eyes. She has a belly button piercing and a healed gunshot wound on her left shoulder.

Personality: It can be hard to approach and converse with how blunt she can be. She is always seen as mysterious and intimidating to people.Doesn’t like to get too involved with drama and tends to have an ‘every man for themselves’ type of attitude. Very loyal to her family. As time passes, she learns to rely on others, especially her fellow Phantom Thieves. After getting to know her, she becomes more laidback and a troll. Cares more than she lets on, as she is incredibly loyal and will worry if someone she cares for is in danger. Will offhandedly shows her concern as not to make a big deal about it. She is resourceful, hardworking, and likes to use the environment to her advantage.

Traits:

She is the middle child, with an older and younger brother

Represents the Death Arcana

Her Persona is Maman Brigitte, the Voodoo spirit of life and death

Not a fan of the police force, believing that the majority of them are greedy and eager to accept bribes.

Her Kosei uniform includes knee pads, bike shorts, earbuds around her neck, and unique white high-tops with detachable wheels.

Has a love for music, dancing, and rollerblading

She likes to compose music and creates mixes in her spare time.

She comes from a large family of performers.

She was a dancer and singer in her family, performing her brother’s songs.

Has an aversion to guns

When she was younger, she secretly wanted to be an idol but grew insecure because she didn’t fit the mold of Japanese idols.

Used to pickpocket with her older brother when she was younger to help support her family.

She is insecure about her body(specifically her butt) because her peers comment on how “plastic and fake” she looks.

After unlocking her persona, Iza becomes more outspoken and outgoing.

In the Metaverse, she becomes more expressive and flashy.

She hopes to gain notoriety as a performer to earn money for her family, and help raise awareness for other struggling communities.

Her melee weapon is a staff

Her long-range weapon is a collection of large fireworks

Has her bellybutton pierced

Has a healed gunshot wound on her left shoulder

Carries around a Swiss army knife with her at all times(a keepsake from her brother).

To her, rebellion is not caring about society’s norms and letting yourself be wild and express yourself freely.

She tends to keep to herself when she’s in school.

Protag cannot romance this character when loyalty is maxed out, but is able to set her up with Sakamoto

Knows Ciropera

School/Job: Second year at Kosei high school. Internship at Starcorp composing songs and dancing

Backstory: The story is that the son of Starcorp's CEO Mizuki Komura once managed her older brother Matteo since he was a global figure as a DJ and Freedom Fighter. One peace rally/concert he held ended with police shooting up the event. Matteo was shot and fatally wounded, and Izabel was shot in the shoulder, which is where her gun wound came from. A couple of weeks later, Mizuki 'offered' to take Izabel on as a client in Japan since her brother was in a coma and even offered to pay for Matteo's medical bills and offer him top of the line care. This was a generous offer to the public to a grieving, broken family. But under the surface, this was just a plot for Mizuki to blackmail Izabel into performing and composing under him, or else he'd pull the plug on Matteo and go after her artistically gifted younger brother Nico.The same man put her mother in a mental institution after making it seem like she was unfit to raise children because of her supposed practice of witchcraft and her fragile mental state.

 When she agreed, he flew her to Tokyo, where he could keep his eye on her, and in a desperate act to keep her remaining family safe, Izabel cut off contact with her family, mainly her younger brother. Izabel made Mizuki agree that she would only dance and compose music but never sing since her passion to sing went away when her brother was hospitalized. So, after a year of this, she still conforms to Mizuki's will and molds herself to his image, unable to truly perform like she used to. All for the sake of her remaining family. Little does she know that Mizuki was the one who set up the police shooting, claiming that he didn't necessarily plan on putting him into a coma and only wanted to give Matteo a flesh wound as a reminder to stay in line since he'd been acting out and inspiring rebellion with his rallies. Mizuki Komura does these things to move up the company's ladder and prove to his father that he can be the successor to Starcorp and not his younger, more talented sister.

Hi!

Sorry for taking a while to get to this. I don't log on here a whole lot. Here we go.

Here are some things I'd like to point out:

Izabel's name is great (I have an aunt with that name). Matteo is a name more common in Spanish speaking countries. The variation you'd find the most here would be either Mateus or Matheus. Equally, though it became very popular with Brazilian transmasc kids, Nico is not a very common name, Nicolas being the closest thing to it (Nico being a cool nickname, especially if they live abroad).

The fact that her story involves so much gun violence, police brutality and bribery makes me a bit iffy. This is a reality we face daily, but you have not lived this reality. Don't be mad, but to me it just sounds disingenuous, especially considering she doesn't have a lot of other strong brazilian traits going for her.

Please get rid of the pickpocketing to help her family. Falls into the same category. Especially because Brazil doesn't have pickpockets like Europe does. Our crime is different, but it's hard to explain unless you've experienced it.

Maman Brigitte is a haitian figure. In Brazil, we do not practice Voodoo. We have religions like Umbanda and Candomblé, which were also based on African belief systems and perform rituals that some might consider akin to magic, like Macumba. I'm not sure how much the Persona has to do with her heritage or how much it would affect her, so I just thought I'd point that out.

Healthcare in Brazil is universal and free of charge, given out by the government. Since her brother is a singer, it would be safe to assume he could also have had a good private health plan, which would then cost money, but even if she couldn't afford it, she would still always get the option of transferring him to a public hospital. They are not always great and there can be longer wait times than some people can wait for certain things, so that could still be encouragement for her to take the deal.

About her mom:

Since 2003, the country has been making an effort to close down mental institutions and since 2023, the remaining mental institutions are no longer allowed to take new patients. Instead, there is a focus on an interdisciplinary care system that focuses on maintaining bonds between families as a way to care for the people (though sometimes they will take people in to live there). The system is called SUAS and these small institutions are called CAPS. They are state-run and not private.

Brazil is a secular state, which means it has no official religion and people are free to follow and religion. Therefore, practicing witchcraft would not get someone's kids taken away. Only if it had been proven (again, by state agents) that the children were being mistreated (which didn't look like they were).

Both of the previous points, of course, could be thwarted by just using money to bribe the people who work these jobs. But, again, though this is a reality and money does buy your way into a lot of things that it wasn't supposed to down here, it doesn't happen more or less than any other country in the world. We like to say "Brasil não é bagunça", Brazil is not a mess. We have systems in place.

Teens under 18 need parent authorization to get pierced (don't know if that'll be an issue with her parents/brother/guardians).

Brazilian is not a race, it's a nationality! Brazil is a country that houses many different races.

Suggestions

Might be a good idea to figure out which part of Brazil she is from. If she's from Rio, Bahia, the Northeast, her appearance makes sense. If she's from the southern/southeast region (São Paulo, Paraná), where there is a lot of Japanese immigration, greater chances of her being half-white.

It would be natural for her to be insecure about her body just by being in Japan and being different than most people. So there is no need for people to comment on the Brazilian character's ass.

Overall, she does seem very stereotyped and some of her plot points are just misguided. I understand this is not the main character, but I do suggest some more research before releasing her into the wild.

Hope I helped at least a bit and if you have any doubts, I'd be happy to adress them.

Bye!

[beanenigma]

Hi, not sure if you're still posting but I was wondering if you could review a Persona 5 character I've written some time ago. The reason being the character's Brazilian and I didn't want to make them too stereotypical you know. If you can get back to me I'll be very grateful! Hope you have a wonderful day/evening/night

Hi! Yeah, I'm still kicking, even if I don't post anymore. I don't know anything about Persona 5, but I'd be glad to look over your Brazilian character!

[beanenigma]

I'm afraid that I have the worldbuilder's disease and it is terminal.

[beanenigma]

Hey, everyone!

I know I've been MIA, but I'm still writing! If you can read Portuguese, allow me to introduce you to Você Não É Cinderela, a Cinderella retelling where Cinderella is a changeling and was swapped by the real one as a child.

You can get it here: https://amzn.to/430PHAD

[beanenigma]

i feel like i say this all the time, but as your friendly neighborhood creative writing instructor i’d just like to remind you, especially if you’re feeling stuck, that writing is the process of thought, not the product of thought. although cognitively we *can* think a sentence and write it down, or think a sentence and say it out loud, more often we write and speak to conjure the thoughts themselves.

that’s why i believe in the shitty first draft. often, but not always, you have to put all your ideas on a page to even figure out what you’re trying to write, who your characters are, what their lives are about, all the nitty gritty stuff you can’t expect yourself to figure out right away. and then, once all your thoughts are out and they’re right in front of you for you to look at, you write the thing again knowing what’s what. in other words, you have to sketch before you can paint.

if you can accept this, fully internalize the knowledge that you will be writing the thing at least twice, writing that shitty first draft isn’t hard at all. you know you’re mostly going to get it wrong, and that’s okay, because later you’ll get it right.

[beanenigma]

when the story is just not working, but you keep writing anyway

[beanenigma]

Hey, passing by to ask one of the most dangerous things to ask to a writer: what's one scene you really loved writing?

Ooooh, what a delicious questions!

Usually, I enjoy writing everything - I really geek out while writing, I always have a good time. But my FAVORITE thing is when I have an idea out of NOWHERE and just run with it.

There is one scene in Doorways in which monsters are chasing my characters and it was THE BEST! My characters are rushing to get to their flying truck, it won't start, then the monsters won't let it take off, then when they finally do the monsters get tangled in the electric wires... AH! It's the best!!!

Thanks for asking <3

[beanenigma]

Hi! I'm working on story where an important chunk of narrative tension comes from a young character trying to hide the paranormal things that are happening to her. This supernatural stuff effects her body in several ways, one of which is that she can no longer digest food- and no longer needs to. (A good parallel would be vampires not being able to eat human food.) It makes sense for her to perform normalcy with this as she does with her other paranormal symptoms (i.e. pretending to eat while not actually doing so). My concern is that this character happens to be fat, and I want to make sure I'm not drawing unintentional parallels to/encouraging disordered eating. The story has nothing to do with this character's weight or body image and if she were able to, she would be eating normally. There are other fat characters in the story that don't have the same issue. Do you think it would be okay to show her avoiding food, or would it be better to skirt around or rework it? Thanks for taking the time to read and respond!

Hey! First up, thanks for trusting me with your story :)

In second place, I, personally, don't see anything wrong with this concept, although you have to be careful with the execution. It could go badly easy.

As fat people, relationship with food sometimes it's tricky. We've all seen the food obsessed trope to the point that we feel shamed for liking food sometimes. But we've also seen the starving fat kid trope played out. So my concern would be how she would react to not being able to eat: both if she feels too sad about it and talks about missing food too much and if she's too relieved by it and says something about prefering not to eat. I'd try to get the balance between those two sides. And try to keep really clear that this food thing is completely natural and organic and not something bad. Just something different she has to deal with.

Otherwise, if there are fat characters wihout the same issues and you're aware for this possibility and actively taking steps to avoid it, I think you might be in the good!

Just, as usual, this one opinion of one fat person. There might be other people who feel different, so I would recommend talking to some more people!

And if anyone wants to chime in, please feel free

[beanenigma]

Hi! I saw that you’ve talked about writing fat characters before and I was wondering if you’re accepting questions/give advice, and if not, if you know any blogs that do?

Hello!

I am absolutely accepting questions and willing to give advice!

I wish I had some blogs to show you, but I'm still to find one (that's why I made those posts in the first place!) I'm also taking recommendations if anyone has got some

Sorry for the delay in answering!

[beanenigma]

Hello! Can I post your content on my writing ig? I will keep your user in the screenshot and include in that caption that you are the creator

Hey! Sure, as long as you give credit!

Also, if you can tag me on @/beanenigmaBR, i'll be much obliged <3

[beanenigma]

How to write an Indian Character by an Indian person.

Disclaimer: when i say Indian, I don’t mean native Indian. I mean INDIAN INDIAN. You know from that large asian country that’s shaped like a kite? Yeah, that Indian. 

 1. India is a large country not all Indians are Hindu.

2. Not all Indians are vegetarian.

3. Not all Indians are math wizards.

4. Not all Indian people are nerds who don’t know how to date.

5. Not all Indian people are straight and cis. (if you’re writing about Hijra or Kinner character then please do a lot of research into their culture before you write them, Hijras and Kinners are often misrepresented in Indian society to be evil and such other things)

6. We don’t eat curry, curry is not a real thing. You have to be more specific than just curry. Like please for the love of god.

7. The name of the language of India is Hindi, not Indian.

8. India has many other languages other than Hindi. Eg. Punjabi, Gujarati, Telugu, Marathi and many households prefer to talk in their native state/city languages rather than Hindi.

9. Indian cuisines vary from region to region. So not everyone in India likes to eat the same thing. North Indian and South Indian cuisines are very different from each other.

10. Not all Indians celebrate the same festivals but that doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy them all.

11. Many people’s Indian accents are a lot more subtle than you think.

12. Different regions in India have different cultural clothing.

13. Not all Indian people look like your typical brown skin black hair, northeast Indians more often than not have features very similar to Chinese people. (But remember when you write northeastern Indian characters, many of them are discriminated against in mainland India and some of them don’t really believe themselves to be Indian)

14. Most Indian don’t use toilet paper (look into this yourself, I’m not gonna go any further)

15. Indian English is more similar to British English than American. Indian English has its own slang too.  Some Indian English things to know:  - Duffer = slang for stupid  - We a lot of the times have problems differentiating between the pronunciation of V and W. - A lot of people pronounce the G in gesture how you pronounce the G in Grapes instead of pronouncing it like a J  - We say rubber not eraser.  - Schedule is pronounced Shehdule not Skedual.  - Mother promise is a way of saying pinky promise.  - Eating my brain means you’re irritating. Eg. “Stop eating my brain” which means stop irritating me.  - Senti is slang for sentimental  - Dickey refers to the boot of the car (please don’t ask)  - Cheatercock is a person who cheated in a test, or an exam or did something to gain advantage in life (not a cheater as in in the romantic/sexual sense)

16. We have a tendency of saying yaar or na after things. Even when we text.

17. ‘Are yaar’ is an expression that can have multiple meanings depending on the context you use it in. But it usually is a saying of exasperation. 

Indian characters can be very hard to write depending on which religion, region, gender, sexuality you choose for them to be. India is a large country, when writing Indian characters, remember that this is the second largest population in the entire world, not all Indian characters are the same, especially the ones you see these days in mainstream western media. 

[beanenigma]

Hey! How would one portray someone with asthma in writing?

asthmatic characters, a primer →

• First, determine how much your character’s asthma affects their day-to-day life. For someone with mild to moderate asthma, it won’t affect them as badly as someone with severe asthma. However, climate and season/temperature also affect asthma symptoms, and can be the catalyst for severe asthma attacks, even if you only have mild to moderate asthma.

• There are variations on asthma that people might not think of: exercise-induced asthma, allergic asthma, occupational asthma (exacerbated by things present in the workplace), among others. I have nonallergic asthma, which means my symptoms are worsened by basically everything, including laughing too hard.

• Asthma isn’t just a modern thing! It’s been recognized since ancient and classical times, and there were treatments for it then, too!

• A few questions to think about, if your story is set in the modern day:

Do they have medication? (For example, I take a combination of montelukast and budesonide / formoterol, which help manage my symptoms. My dad takes fluticasone instead of budesonide. There’s a wide variety of medications.)

Can they afford medication? (With good health insurance, my generic budesonide inhaler costs $100+ at my pharmacy. I have to get a refill every month.)

Are they good at remembering to take their medication?

Do they carry an emergency inhaler? If no, why not? 

Do they see a specialist for their asthma (usually a pulmonologist), or do they see only their general practitioner, or do they see no doctors at all?

• If it’s not set in the modern day, then have a few more questions to think about:

How do they manage their symptoms? (Looking up home and herbal remedies might give you some good ideas here, but keep in mind that the majority of these are not medically sound, and are not intended to be taken as medical advice in real life.)

How common is asthma in this world? How likely is it that more than one person in a community or group would be asthmatic?

How would the climate affect their asthma? Is there a lot of smoke or dust present? Is it often extremely hot or cold? What about pollen?

How much accommodation do they receive when they have asthma attacks? Do they receive medical attention for it?

If there’s magic or advanced medicine, does that account for asthma? How is asthma treated?

• Research tip: Asthma is often lumped in with allergies in medicine, largely because a lot of asthma is caused or exacerbated by bad allergies. Check out allergy resources, too, when you’re trying to look up something about asthma!

• PLEASE DON’T say your character is asthmatic and then have them exhibit 0 symptoms. (I have read books like this. I was so stoked for asthmatic representation and then... nothing.) • DON’T establish that your character has a reaction to something (i.e., heat) and then handwave that same thing later on when it becomes inconvenient. • DON’T assume that an asthmatic character can do everything a non-asthmatic character could: It actually can really limit what you can do, especially if it’s exercise-induced or otherwise very severe. • DO show your characters or world treating asthma as a serious medical condition. • DO show your asthmatic characters struggling or having trouble, especially if they’re a main character or POV character. Like other long-term illnesses and disabilities, asthma will affect many decisions that a character makes. • DO consider the consequences of a character with medication suddenly skipping that medication or being unable to take it. ESPECIALLY DO consider what happens when a character with an emergency inhaler (or other acute treatment) no longer has access to that. (For example, I have panic attacks when I don’t have my inhaler. Panic attacks can cause asthma attacks.)

••• if you have any more specific questions, there are a lot of institutions focused on asthma & allergies, and you can find them fairly easily; i recommend checking out the information they offer and also seeking out firsthand accounts (blogs, etc.) from asthmatics! thank you ♥

[beanenigma]

I saw this post but I’m an over-writer, so …

[beanenigma]

Me: I want to just make a fun self indulgent WIP with self indulgent characters and tropes without worrying about the plot

Me ten seconds into planning: If this story isn’t perfectly flawless and thought out and unique and ready for publishing I will explode