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Dissecting Smut: Worthy

Hey, we recently had a short discussion on our Discord about how to write smut. While there are plenty of resources out there for different terms and what to consider for the more "technical" aspects, I thought it might be helpful if I go into how I build atmosphere, what kind of thoughts go into specific sentences, and so on.

So this is for all writers, but also of course readers!

Under the cut for explicit content

We're looking at the Bane-fucking scene from Worthy, Chapter 2. Previous to this Tav had been edged without release in Ch. 1, now Bane appeared, and he made Gortash lick his boots. I needed to now move into the Bane-fucking somewhat seamlessly, so I decided to have Tav undress him.

Everything in bold marked by me:

She walked over to him and took off the boots that Gortash had licked moments ago, the long streaks still visible. Bane stood up so she could undo his buckle, loosening his pants so that they dropped to the floor, and he stepped out of them while Tav pulled them away. He wasn’t wearing underwear or socks, so his thick thighs, large feet, and massive cock stood free immediately.

the long streaks still visible gives a visual queue for the reader. everyone can picture the dampness a tongue lick leaves behind. having this here connects the previous scene to Tav, who so far had been passively watching.

I wanted this to be size kinky so I made sure to mention Bane's size several times. Having her undress him helped make that clear as this was the time she really got up close to him, noticing how large he was (once again).

Sitting back down on the altar, he patted his lap before cupping Tav’s face with his hand, his palm larger than her cheeks. “Come. I know your cunt is begging for release.”

another size reference. it's subtle – just the mention of his palm against her cheeks, a generally tender gesture, drives that home

"begging for release" – tying this back to what happened previously (aka the edging in chapter 1). sometimes people struggle with writing smut that is embedded into the chapter or scene, and stuff like this is how I personally like to do it. Have characters banter, or refer to something that happened earlier. It doesn't always have to be sexual!

Tav looked around the room, taking in the scene once more, almost as if to figure out if this was all some sort of weird prank or if she had been privy to a spell that made her hallucinate. But the Banites, having stopped chanting, simply stood there and watched while Gortash sat on the back of his feet, staring at her with an unreadable expression.

this paragraph is me zooming out of the scene. if you imagine a movie, we had a lot of close ups (the boot licking, the descriptions of his size, the spoken lines). I like contrasting this every now and then by adding a description of the wider room/setting, to really anchor it in the moment.

The Banites are still there! They're mostly irrelevant for now but adding them here takes the edge off for the readers wondering what is going on with them. It also, yet again, ties it back to the earlier scenes in the fic

it also buys some time for pacing. Tav is still a bit hesitant because of her disbelief, so having her buy time feels authentic.

Gortash being mentioned makes sure we just don't "forget" about him. He's kneeling, he's "parked there", so to speak, so we acknowledge him even though he won't be a major part of the action. "closing" this makes sure readers don't keep wondering what happened to him and can focus on the action

“I hate waiting”, Bane roared, and his tone was sharp for the first time. Swallowing nervously Tav climbed into his lap, reaching down to guide his already hard erection into her, but his big hand caught hers before she could. “This isn’t anything to be rushed”, he interrupted her, looking into her eyes. Tav’s world started to spin – the fiery red pulled her in, quickening her heart rate while slowing her breathing, making her feel dizzy and lightheaded. “This is worship.”

He hates waiting but he doesn't want to rush – at first glance contradictory, just like I wanted Bane to come across. He has a specific logic to him that is all about him being obeyed. I put this section in specifically to build character and show that he has one rule: his word is law, immediately. he called out to her, she didn't immediately obey, hence the roaring. two seconds later he's issuing a new command. keep up, Tav

"worship": I made sure to throw in as many religious themes as possible, tying this into the overarching theme of making amends to a god

He took her hands behind her back, holding them and her in place at the same time, then brought his other hand between her legs. She was still wet, or wet again, it was getting hard to tell.

a slight callback to the previous scenes agains while also establishing that Tav is into what is happening (with a slight dash of dubcon)

Bane pushed one finger into her cunt without warning, and Tav gasped at the girth of it. When he added a second one she thought she would faint, moaning loudly as he pumped in and out of her.

Size kink! size kink! size kink!

"moaning loudly" - have the characters make noise!

The god took his time with her, adding flicks of his thumb against her clit until Tav’s eyes rolled back, then pulled his fingers back out to a protesting whine from her. Between them, pressed against both of their stomachs, was his large cock, and Tav licked her lips thinking about sinking down on him.

Establishing that she is into him here. She enjoyed it, she wants more of it, she makes it known (subconsciously!)

Utilize different senses to show pleasure: she can't focus her vision, she makes a sound, she licks her lips (touch/taste)

Humming with approval, Bane brought his slick-covered fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean. “Adequate”, he nodded and let go of her hands, then lifted her body up by her thighs as if she didn’t weigh anything. “Guide”, he commanded.

Bane is into Tav enjoying this. It's hot because this isn't non-con so having characters get turned on by the other's pleasure is always good. Have the characters react to each other!

"sucking them clean": nothing like throwing in some taste/touch references

Character/atmosphere building: while he is into her arousal, he is still Bane, so he bosses her around.

Tav reached down to push his tip against her entrance. Just the tip alone was wide, so wide, and when he lowered her body down on him she sobbed out a curse so loud it echoed through the hall as her walls stretched to accommodate him. From behind her, she heard Gortash suck in a deep breath.

Now, after building all this foreplay/tension, she's about to fuck him. We're really driving home the size kink so of course another mention of his girth

It's difficult for her to take him. We're switching between external view (push his tip against her entrance, lowered her body – this is all "looking down on them" phrasing as a narrator) and her feelings (wall stretching, sobbed out a curse – we're put into her sensations, helping us visualize it better) before going back into the wider setting (echoed through the hall, she heard Gortash)

check that I wrote "she heard Gortash suck in a deep breath", instead of "Gortash sucked in a deep breath". This phrasing is something I use a lot and it centers Tav, making it truly her POV.

“Fuck”, Tav panted, sitting still, unmoving, Bane’s cock twitching inside her as her muscles worked hard to fit him. The god chuckled deeply, then leaned back on the altar to rest his body on his forearms, watching her. “Worship me”, he demanded, voice booming through the room.

again, Tav needs time. I feel this makes it more authentic, so she sits still, giving her body a moment.

Bane is amused because he's this weird detached deity. Mentioning his odd mannerisms helps with that.

another religious reference in a commanding tone for tension/atmosphere!

It was almost too much and she hadn’t even started, but Tav rolled her hips tentatively into his, then raised her body so she could sink down on him again, spreading more of her juices on his cock. After a few repetitions she felt ready to ride him properly.

We're leaving the factual descriptions of the action for the sake of giving Tav a bit more POV by mixing in "it was almost too much" and "she felt ready"

Her pants were so loud she could barely hear herself think. Not that anything coherent was happening on her mind anyway – all she could focus on was the way Bane’s length pushed into her, rubbing at spots that made her whimper with need, and how his menacing eyes dragged over her body again and again, watching her cunt sink down on him, her tits bounce, and her mouth fall open.

More audio clues! She's fucking him now, so I'm showing her arousal here with the panting. Not using "moan" was a deliberate choice: She is panting from exertion, too. Moaning would not have made that point.

The second, very long sentence centers how she experiences Bane all while letting us know what Bane is doing. Tav is so into it that everything fades to black. It's just fucking Bane, so the descriptions are also only fucking Bane.

Bane, still half shadow, half man, felt different than anything she’d ever experienced. Every inch she took in dragged out a new sort of desire, every part he touched burned her core with need. But he was breathing heavily too, flaming eyes half-closed with lust, and hands clenched into fists.

if it's just Bane, what does that mean? He's a god, after all. I mentioned in the chapter earlier that he was a shadowy figure, so I wanted to include that here, so that readers don't wonder about that. Nothing more distracting than dropping in a particular description of something and then never bringing it up again!

He's aroused too and that shows through his tensing body. It's good fucking.

After a particularly slow roll of her hips he groaned and sat up, bringing his hands down to her ass to pull her into him. “Don’t tease”, he growled. “Submit.” And with that he started to pound into her, slamming his hips upwards with force. Tav’s breath caught in her throat, but when a shadow enveloped her breast, sucking on it with greed, her cunt started to spasm around him.

it doesn't matter if Tav was teasing or just taking it slow because he's massive, here's another part where we get to witness Bane's arbitrary demands.

I decided not to have a long build up for her at this point, and rather have her come almost suddenly. Why? She's been edged the entire first chapter so I didn't want to repeat myself, Bane is not into the whole edging thing right now, and I wanted to show that she has little control over how things go, even in her orgasm. Instead of a slow build up with references about how she's climbing, Bane sucks on her tit and she gets so overwhelmed she comes on the spot.

“G-gods”, she came so forcefully she punched his chest, crying out a curse while gasping again and again, waves of accumulated pleasure releasing all at once while he bounced her on his cock. Between their legs her cunt gushed out spurts of wetness, and Bane huffed with approval as it dripped down his balls and alongside the insides of his thighs.

yes she's calling on the gods while fucking one. i found it funny :D

punching his chest with her comparably small hand as another reflexive action. rationally she would never punch Bane. but she's overwhelmed, so she does

She squirts all over him and Bane is into that. Again reflecting her pleasure by having another character react to it. Show, don't tell, how hot this is.

“Good girl”, he praised her, slowing his movements, and Tav blushed at the unexpected compliment. Suddenly, spotting something behind her, Bane chuckled. “See what the Black Hand thinks of your worship.” Tav turned her chest and crooked her head so she could see Gortash behind her, still kneeling in front of the altar, his hands clasped on his back. His cock was half-hard, and down on his thighs she spotted a small puddle of cum.

we're slowly zooming out now: at first Bane talks to her, pulling our attention away from specific body parts to a conversation. By asking her to look at something I'm gently widening the scene for the readers so we can get into the description of what else is/was happening in the room

Gortash! yes. he's still kneeling. we're not surprised by this because it was mentioned earlier. but he came untouched: this also drives home the point about everyone being into this, plus it's a hot kink, and last but not least it ties him into the scene. If I hadn't have him come here, I probably would have had him exchange words with Bane to subtly include him back into the scene.

The chapter goes on for longer (including knotting), but I'm gonna stop at this point. Happy to expand more if anyone wants me to!

If you made it this far: wow, thank you. Let me know if this was helpful, or insightful, or interesting! And if you have a specific scene from one of my fics you'd like me to dissect (smut or otherwise), send me an ask!

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