becomingamumworld-blog

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Update

Not blogged for a while and mostly that was because we were trying to keep our news under wraps! However we can now announce we are currently 20weeks with our delicious IVF frozen embryo bubba. It still amazes me that I'm finally pregnant and often still can't believe it. We did our FET transfer in October and from that moment of transfer I honestly felt different. I felt light and positive and almost peaceful. I knew that in my heart that I was pregnant until proven otherwise and had the mind set that there was no obvious reason, to our knowledge, why it wouldn't work. This really helped me, but is certainly a personal thing and not something I particularly tried to make myself feel, it just happened in that magical moment that I saw the tiny white dot on the screen be popped into my waiting uterus! I feel extremely grateful and overwhelmed that we've gotten this far as I know the journey is much more complicated for some. I still feel that pain and longing everyday for people of the ttc community and I don't think that ever leaves you even when you do get that positive home pregnancy test. I can honestly say pregnancy has not been a breeze for me so far, but I am certainly NOT complaining. For the first 15/16 weeks I had severe morning sickness or HG, and felt a multitude of emotions I can't even describe. As difficult as that was I tried to take it as a sign my baby was thriving and growing well. I know for the next half of my pregnancy I will try to enjoy every second now the sickness has subsided and we cannot wait to meet our special baby B, who I am completely smitten with already. To all those still trying and struggling through the difficult journey of ttc, iui, IVF and infertility I wish you love and luck and hope you have the support you need. I will always feel proud to have been part of this incredible community which is now finally being talked about more openly! 1 in 6!!!! Love ❤️ Becoming a Mum

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Infertility truths!

[becomingamumworld-blog]

FET

Any ivf-ers currently going through FET?

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Napping :) prognova the sleep drug! 😴😴😴

[becomingamumworld-blog]

IVF round 2

So I’ve started my injections for our frozen transfer. Down regulation started in CD1, 50 units twice a day and for some reason I’m feeling pretty crap this time round. I guess last time I started down reg I was in Spain in the sunshine lying next to a pool, reading and napping all day- ha so maybe that has something to do with it. This time of course the weather has changed, and we are now in full blown Autumn. The days are darker and I guess the grey skies are making me feel a bit blue. We also had a mad, emotional weekend this week. My husband, brother in law and family friend embarked on an epic journey to raise money for kidney research Wales in honour of my beloved brother, Leigh who passed away in March this year. Leigho loved Arsenal and Maesteg RFC so the boys are cycling from Emirates to the Old Parish. Our cousin also joined the boys on the last day for the Welsh stint of the ride. They set off on Thursday, September 22 and arrived in time for kick off in the Maesteg v Bonymaen match on September 24.

However my brother endured so much, including cancer, and triumphed so many times over so many seemingly insurmountable hurdles, we really could have picked any number of health charities… But being born too early with poorly kidneys was what led to his lifelong struggle for good health and so that’s why we are choosing kidney research. Here is the link: Www.justgiving.com/leighgould

The support has been overwhelming as is my feelings towards my hubby and brother in law and boys on their epic journey. I’m so proud and I know my brother would have been in disbelief that anyone was doing something of these epic proportions for him! We miss him terribly and this weekend was wonderful but very emotional. To top it off maesteg won the game against bonymaen and Arsenal also won their match that day! :) I am looking forward to my scan which is this Friday to see if all is good to go into the next step of the FET and just hope we get to transfer this time! If anyone has any tips for FET please share with me. I would love to hear from you.

Becoming a Mum Xx

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Some days you just have to laugh!

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Hormones!!!! ARGH!

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Our Experience of IUI

Whilst on the waiting list for IVF we were advised to try IUI at a different hospital, while we were waiting, but we had to pay for this privately.

NB: (If you are on the waiting list for NHS, do not do this as this actually meant we were taken off the waiting list even though it was a doctor who advised us to go ahead and do this)

We were told that it would cost between £700- £900 a sum we felt eager to spend to give it a shot. 

NB: (it actually ended up costing more like £1400)

I was on Clomid for my IUI cycle and boy did I feel like shit! Terrible night sweats, mostly drowsy and sleepy and generally feeling heavy and emotional.

The clomid was doing it’s job however. We had lots of follicles growing on both ovaries. On the last scan, they almost cancelled the cycle as they said I was at risk of triplets, we had one 19mm follicle on one side and 3 smaller follicles (between 12mm-18mm) on the other side.

Luckily they decided to go ahead with the IUI the following day. The nurse did the trigger shot for me, I went home to try to relax.

We came in the next morning, and I was feeling quietly calm and excited. I remember thinking positive thoughts and feeling like we were going to have our baby, all we needed was a little helping hand.

Hubby’s sample was good, and we were all good to go. 

The Nurses struggled to insert the catheter at first and there was lots of prodding around, I was starting to shake uncontrollably but i think it was just adrenalin coursing through my body.

They had to try a smaller catheter and eventually that worked but i felt like we’d been there for ages. As soon as they inserted the sperm, I had a terrible shooting pain, like the worst period pain you’ve ever felt x 20. The nurse told me to relax but I was in agony. I tried to lie still, but all of a sudden I started to burn up, I stripped off my clothes and thought I was going to be sick.

Luckily I had a sports bra on but I pretty much took off all my clothes bar that, plus obviously i had nothing on my bottom half. Like the scene from Psycho I was projectile vomiting all over the room.

I had never felt in such a state before.

I had to have an injection in my bottom to stop me being sick and to reduce my temperature. 

When we got home we were both pretty exhausted. Just want to point out that this reaction was not normal and I think it was a reaction to the medication or to the prodding of the catheter. The nurses were brilliant and really looked after me. They said they had never seen a reaction like that before, and I do still wonder why I reacted so badly.

The IUI was unsuccessful, unfortunately.

It is actually a funny story looking back, and I hope the idea of me running around naked in the hospital, vomiting, at least made you laugh a little. The things we do!!

Anyway despite the not very nice experience it definitely prepared me for IVF, and made me realistic about the process. It also was so bad I knew I could deal with anything this journey throws at me.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

Becoming A Mum

xx

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Recommended Reads

If anyone is going through IVF or about to start thinking about IVF then i throughly recommend ; ‘Get a Life, His and Hers survival guide to IVF’ By Richard Mackney and Rosie Bray.

This book is brilliant! so relatable, honest, funny and truthful.

I found I read it once all the way through and now use it as a little handbook I can dip into when I need it. It’s been a godsend and kept me sane.

Go buy it now!!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Get-Life-Hers-Survival-Guide/dp/1409155013

NB: this is not a sponsored post!

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Grief

I recently posted my infertility story so far, and mentioned that my brother passed away in March.

We are obviously heartbroken, but I am just finding everyday very difficult. I have no motivation, no drive. I don’t want to do anything. I find getting up each day a struggle.

I know this is normal, and grief is such a horrible complex thing, but I really wanted to see if anyone has any experience of going through infertility problems or IVF whilst dealing with grief?

I would just love to hear your stories or to help share the burden.

I am so sad, and am constantly on the verge of tears. (even more than normal)

I can’t imagine how I will feel if we go through our Frozen Embryo Transfer in a few months and if it doesn’t work?

I know I need to keep positive, and I am generally positive it will work, it just has to, the alternative is just not worth thinking about. I just don’t know if I am strong enough to cope if it doesn’t.

Music is particularly hard. I always thought I was the musical one in the family, but turns out my brothers bad 80s music has formed so much of my own value of music in my life, and every song reminds me of him. Also finding my voice catching with every song, that I can no longer sing, and as a singer, that’s not ideal.

Needing a bit of a boost or inspiration and would love to hear from you.

Love Always

Becoming A Mum x

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Happy 3rd Anniversary Bubba!!!

[becomingamumworld-blog]

So TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Especially love the one about who’s fault it is and oh yeh it took us ages too- 4 months!

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Becoming a Mum

When I was little, all I ever imagined being was a mum. Maternal by nature, I felt at ease with children and babies and as the baby of the family, was desperate for my parents to have another baby for me to ‘Baby’.

They didn’t.

In 2011 I met DH, our meeting is one I can only describe as FATE, (more on this later) 2 months later we moved in together and in 2013 we were married.

I know lots of people say this but he’s my absolute ROCK, and my best friend and I know I wouldn’t last a day without him. 

We officially started ‘trying’ for a family pretty much as soon as we were married, and it’s our anniversary 3 years tomorrow!! However, I never really was on the pill so technically we have been trying for longer.

So 3 years into our fertility journey, and still no bubba.

My brother passed away in March this year, he was 46, and for anyone who has experienced this type of loss, it’s world shattering, so with infertility on top of a very difficult time, it’s been even more stressful and I’ve grieved not only for my brother but also for the child we so desperately want.

I’ve heard every cliche, I’ve tried every potion (reflexology, acupuncture, ayerverdic potions, bbt charting, you name it we’ve tried it) so in June this year we we’re at the door of IVF, like so many couples like us. (So many more than we think! 1 in 6!)

Our IVF went well so to speak, quite the textbook case, 18 Follicles, 13 Eggs, 10 fertilised and 7 made it to day 5/6. However my transfer was cancelled due to my progesterone being too high.

We are now waiting for our Frozen Embryo Transfer (waiting, more waiting, SERIOUSLY, the waiting is the worst!!!) However, we are feeling lucky to have gotten this far and have our 7 embies in the freezer.

I wanted to share my story, and start posting more regularly on this blog. If we are 1 of 1 in 6 couples, why is infertility still such a taboo subject? I really feel more emphasis needs to be given in the support of couples going through such a journey.  Even though it’s now talked about more and more, why there isn’t more support in the workplace for IVF? I would love to hear peoples own experiences and I will continue to update you on my own journey.

We are in this together, aiming for the same goals....

....Becoming A Mum xxx

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Even the game knows!!! Story of my life!

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Little time lapse of my doing down reg whilst on holiday in Spain!

[becomingamumworld-blog]

Been surrounded by pregnancy announcements recently and finding it even tougher to deal with as we had our fresh cycle cancelled due to my progesterone being too high! My current mood 😞

[becomingamumworld-blog]