beezus94

[beezus94]

Mrs. Kennedy

Teenage years. The time to make mistakes, the time to understand yourself, and the time to chase what you want. There won’t be anyone in the world who became an adult who will say that their teenage years taught them nothing. The whole transition of a person into adulthood always needs them to go through this phase of learning, where the highs will be remembered as they are, and the lows will be taken as a case study. Nothing in this world interprets the nostalgia of those teenage and young adult days and the mistakes someone has made like Frank Ocean.

In his 2011 mixtape Nostalgia, Ultra, Frank sought to give us tracks that evoke nostalgia about a particular time in our lives. These songs are universal, both in their nostalgic factor and the way they become relatable. While there are a lot of songs in this album that are retrospective and nostalgia-inducing, none stand out as strongly as American Wedding.

Why "American Wedding"? First of all, hold up! Why American Wedding in specific? Well, firstly and most importantly is the content of this song, which we’ll tackle. But secondly, it’s importance in shaping one of the most significant moments in pop culture. An artist from a misfit group called “Odd Future” released a song that was better than the song he sampled.

Although most of the songs on this album never got their samples cleared, American Wedding in particular stood out because it uses the Hotel California sample by The Eagles. The song uses the classic beat and the guitar solo samples, taking them as the foundation of this track. The Eagles didn’t really like it and referred to it as someone “painting a moustache over a painting.” This led to its removal from streaming platforms. Even though the enforcement of the copyright claim from The Eagles’ side seems harsh, it was the right thing to do. What’s not the right thing to do was to downplay this song as a mere smearing of paint over a canvas — because it is not. It’s one of the few songs that challenges the heights of storytelling and the norm itself. Perhaps The Eagles became prey to their own theme in Hotel California.

What is this controversial song about? Well, I’ll tell you, but you’ve got to have a sense of imagination for this one. Imagine. Picturize. Live.

The song starts with the familiar, iconic beat of Hotel California, but we are greeted with Frank saying, “American love, American me, American you, American tears, American heartbreak!” Although these lines may seem insignificant, they have a foreshadowing effect here. After four perfect drum beats (for which I always use a hand to simulate whenever it is played), the beat drops, and instead of a medium-paced song, we are met with Frank singing in a melancholic, slow pace. It seems Frank was taking a stroll through a familiar place, surrounded by palm trees, and as the daylight fell, he sat to enjoy a sangria in a canteen pouch. Sangria, being wine enjoyed with punch, may seem like another sign of the theme of immaturity. For now, he is talking to himself, and he has a tattoo on his left hand, which is turning “purplish blue.” It’s going through the healing process — it seems like a recent tattoo. He walks as he thinks of someone.

That someone is very special to Frank. She is a “pretty woman in a ball gown,” and Frank is “Richard Gere in a tux.” This is a reference to the movie Runaway Bride, and the characteristics of Julia Roberts in the movie are the same as that of his girl. This again gives us a sign of something they both are rushing towards.

They are about to get married. Even though they are young, they both have decided to marry each other in a courthouse. They reached there, and in a non-traditional sense, Frank, instead of getting a wedding band for his own finger, gets a tattoo of it done, which he feels that he “just might die with.” Here we can see the excitement Frank has toward this commitment—naive, vulnerable, and excited for this new chapter of his life.

What about his bride? What does she feel about this marriage?

That’s answered in the next section, where she signs her name on the documents. Instead of writing “Mrs. Ocean” or “Mrs. Breaux,” she signs her name as “Mrs. Kennedy,” using her maiden surname. This factor gives us an important idea about the bride. Frank then diverts a bit to a “thesis on Islam” and shows an interpretation of what the West feels about Islamic marriages and polygamy. Here, contrary to people saying that Frank attacks religion, I feel that this actually gives us a moment to think about the contrast between Western marriages and “un-American” ones. Is the Western marriage system really the best, so much so that people feel sorry for the “un-American girls”?

This then swiftly changes to a moment where Frank greets his wife after school, and they both jump in his “5.0” Mustang, another symbol of “Home of the brave,” “land of the free.” This unknowingly for Ocean becomes one of the worst moments of his life. He really liked his wife and grew comfortable living a life with her, so much so that what hit him next was going to hurt.

She wanted the marriage annulled. Her parents didn’t know that she got married, and the summer ended. For her, this was just a pastime during the summer, and she wanted the marriage annulled before it went too far. This is followed by Frank emphasizing the true meaning of his lines: “Just an American wedding, It don’t mean too much, it don’t last enough.” We can hear the pain in his voice as he says those lines, trying his best to be mature about the situation. This was just half of the impending disaster.

This marriage goes through an “American divorce,” and as he says repeatedly in this song, “Now what’s mine is yours, that’s American law.” Well, that law was going to be harsh on him, telling him to give half of what he owns to her. The lines following this situation are more heartbreaking to listen to and to think about from his shoes.

“You can have my Mustang, that’s all I’ve got in my name, but Jesus Christ, don’t break my heart. This wedding ring will never wipe, but you stay, oh if you stay, you’ll leave later anyway. It’s love made in the USA.”

These lines tell us that what Frank wanted, even at the end, was her. Even after the divorce, even after the settlement, all he wanted was her. The sheer immaturity that had guided him to this moment feels like a load to him. He clearly didn’t take the marriage in the same way she did. For him, it was real, even if he was being delusional. He loved her, and that non-removable wedding band that he tattooed on his hand is proof of that. It’ll probably not wipe away, and neither will her memories. This is the story he tells us after walking without his 5.0 and sipping his sangria.

Maybe the wounds left by this divorce might heal like the tattoo turning blue, or maybe this event will always be in his head. He ends by claiming that maybe this could be love made in the USA, maybe to comfort himself. With that, the storytelling ends, and the sampled guitar solo starts playing.

This song gives us an example of how much you can convey in a song through regular storytelling rather than complex elements, letting the listener go through the story and explore it on their own. This song not only represents the immaturity of that particular age or the difference in perspective between both parties in marriage, but it also shows us a view into marriages and their seriousness from the perspective of both parties. This nostalgic-feeling track tells us a story that may not directly relate to us but, in many ways, reminds us of the moments where we were vulnerable in the case of a two-party agreement or, in general, love.

[beezus94]

CONSTANT

Valley of dreams, may be a desert, Met with a mirage, you carry on, As to see if it's Right or Wrong. Tempted and excited, I tried to touch it, It all disappeared in two instances.

Lost in the middle of those particles, I found pain as nothing but a constant. Suffering heartful till I overcome, Crying pool-worthy till I learned to swim. Knew all the brights had some dims, I swore not to be grim, And carried on like a pliable pilgrim.

Sun set its shadow as she set behind me, Setting the landscape ablaze, she whispered, As to give her best like a well-wisher. I knew for now I wouldn't hear her usher, As I got ready to face the demons and the knights.

Darkness measured in depth, I felt dimensionless. Every muscle giving in to collapse, I embraced the pain with a grin and laugh. Vision blurry, nights dully, The dead went to parlay differently. Acceptance wasn't sensible, I heard him say:

"Child, in denial, you folks run like sheep, Without a direction, fueled with greed. Wanderers call out to you with mischief, And you think you will end up finding relief. In this Valley of Dreams, you got lost, Feeling nothing but pain and loss. Knowing my grips around you, You chose to be brave. So much that you made me rave."

A herder with horns, no olive branches or thorns. Heaven and hell conflicted each other, Black sheep or red, I was a dullard, To choose a way to a mirage willingly, As I gave up unknowingly.

Constant is the pain, constant are the stars, Constant is her face, constant are the laughs, Constant is the cheer, constant are the scars, Constant is the devil, constant are the gods.

[beezus94]

"BUT YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE"

I used to hear Hotel California by The Eagles a lot and I used to be hooked to that beat and the overall instruments of that track. The overall mystery to what the lyrics meant and me trying my best to come up with possible explanations—The underlying mystery of the track did add to the experience and I felt that I really had discovered a track that had stood the test of time, both with its catchy construction and underlying mystery that made it sound like the crème de la crème of classic tracks from The Eagles.

No one will argue about the influence that Hotel California had on the music industry and the message it gave to the people in the industry. I was able to understand from various sources that the song really was about the music and Hollywood industry as a whole—basically inviting a person who was travelling down a "dark desert highway" without fear to chase their dreams, seek shelter as the person gets attracted to the "shimmering light" in the distance. This I feel signified a test to the dreamer, as that shelter would be like a shortcut he should never take. But his "head grew heavy" and his "sight grew dim" therefore he had to stay for the night.

There, in that hotel which symbolizes the above said industries, he sees wonders that shocks him and sees a pretty woman with all of her charm in the lobby, and he heard the "mission bell." Taking into account all the good things and bad things, he goes to chase her with all his might. Then she "lit up a candle" and showed him the way, and he heard the "voices down the corridor" and they were telling him how nice this hotel is and telling him to "bring" his "alibis."

Well, he learns that the girl he likes has a bit of expensive taste—i.e. "her mind is Tiffany twisted" and "she got that Mercedes-Benz." There is also one moment after this that the person says "she got a lotta pretty boys, who she just calls friends." Now although our narrator isn't able to understand this, those "friends" of hers were men just like him who came to the hotel. Neglecting all this, the narrator goes into a trance enjoying his time at the hotel—dancing, singing, and having a fun time at the boats. There is also a clear display of wit by using the lines "we haven't had that spirit here since 1969" when the narrator asks for wine from the boat captain. This line cleverly is an entendre where the line could be about the "spirit"—wine—or it could be about the energy that the narrator brings to the boat. This wine line could be the narrator celebrating an accolade in the above said industry.

The next section is what changes the narrative for me and led me to believe that it was about the above said industries. As the narrator goes into the night, he becomes uncomfortable. He sees "mirrors on the ceiling" and "pink champagne on ice"—could be signifying the grandeur of a good-looking hall or a room with chandeliers and champagne—where he sees that the people who he has been with all this time are "prisoners of their own device." And followed by what I feel like is what the narrator saw during the dinner, where he says that "in the master's chamber, they gathered for the feast, they stab it with their steely knives, but just can’t kill the beast." This line especially gives clues into what happens when someone tries to change the industry, injecting it with their own ideas and opinions—but at last the beast remains the same, i.e. the industry swallows them rather than the other way around. The narrator, shocked by these events, understands what a mistake he has done chasing the woman and runs to the lobby to check out and leave the place.

The nightman who was employed sees him and tells him to relax and that they are "programmed to receive." It also should be noted that the voice of the watchman is soulless and obsolete like a robot, and to the narrator's horror, tells him that "you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave"—showing us that the lifestyle that the people who have been conditioned in the above industry makes them chase it more, even after they want to escape. The girl symbolizes the riches and seductiveness that the industry shows to these young dreamers to attract them. The hotel shows them the lifestyle they can lead, and the fact that the narrator came to his senses and wanted to escape within a day shows the sheer pace of the industry trying to get to anyone that comes there, squeezing every bit of life out of them and then allowing them to leave—only for them to chase the life they left back.

This whole song forms a solid idea about the music and film industry that people are driven to and also proves its timelessness, as the whole fiasco of this song could be seen in actors and artists in the industry—and we ourselves can think of a lot of examples which fit the theme and meaning of this song.

Still leaves the question in my head though, why didn’t The Eagles let Frank Ocean sample this song though?

[beezus94]

BLONDE or BLOND.

Ever heard a music album that changed your entire perspective on music soo much that you never looked at music the same way? Or were you too dumb to understand what an album meant when you listened to it, only to realize months later what that album truly meant?

Well my friends, that's the duality factor that's in our nature. Just like Frank said in Blonde.

I first listened to Blonde during my 11th standard COVID classes. At that time I was just getting to know the hip hop scene and even though I think it’s dumb that I was obsessed with a lot of mainstream music back then, which is a sharp contrast to me today, I feel that whatever I listened to then was a gateway into what I listen to now.

And Blonde was my gateway in crack… just kidding, but at a point when you listen to Pink + White it feels like you are high, especially the beat and Beyoncé harmonizing.

You can notice something—I really liked Pink + White, but just for the vibes. My friend told me to listen to Ivy, again didn't understand the meaning, but got the vibes. This was me and my 11th standard self, a person who would listen to music solely for the vibes and for nothing else. In a way that's better honestly. I think it's some sort of a preference.

Time passed and I started getting kind of deep into After Hours by The Weeknd. Although unrelated, it gave me an idea that an album could be a lot more than just a piece of music—it could also be a vessel to convey a story, a message, or even better, an emotion.

So 2022 December, I gave Blonde another shot. This time I tried my best to understand the lyrics and I found different results.

I liked Self Control the most. I felt the joy of listening to that masterpiece. What a lovely song.

I appreciated White Ferrari, I loved Solo. But that's about it. I couldn't understand anything further. But what a lovely happy album.

24th March 2023 changed all what I thought about this album.

I had a huge crush on a girl and I waited 5 months to tell her. Me and her used to chat only on Snapchat, I didn’t have her number or something and we used to meet IRL. She used to complain about how her boyfriend would cheat on her and stuff, and I had got the idea that she was single. My adolescent mind was hooked. I really liked her and on that fateful night I told her that I liked her through a Snapchat call.

She said that she was committed with the other guy and perhaps I had the wrong impression. Well that was the last time we talked.

After this event I went on the roof with my speaker and started playing some tracks to fuck myself up, a very 17-year-old thing to do, and I played Self Control.

That's when I understood the sheer duality of the song. In my moment of sadness I understood the idea of the song. I understood what Yung Lean meant when he sang "Keep a place for me, I’ll sleep between y’all it’s nothin, it’s nothin", followed by the low and dark howling type of distorted vocals, followed by Frank's farewell type of lyrics. The song is about a woman that Frank shared intimacy with during a particular part of his life and then after a long time he sees her again somewhere and the emotions uncurls itself. The moments of intimate affection they shared can’t be brought back again even if he says that he'll choose to sleep in between her and her boyfriend. Reminiscent of how low I felt during that particular day.

The line in Pink + White, "If you could die and come back to life", had a different meaning to me. I kept thinking this line again and again after weeks and weeks just thinking, what if she could be born again? What if circumstances could be different then? Maybe, just maybe, she would have allowed me to pour my love for her.

My teenager mind was sad of course, but moreover the album's perspective changed for me. For instance, I started dwelling deep into the meanings and theme of different songs in the album.

Nikes for me is about a girl who is caged by the delusion of having a boyfriend, i.e., her cousin, but it’s clear that he was just using her, leading to a pool party where she meets Frank. Her finding something that's more real than what her cousin had to offer, she broke off that cage to show that she wanted to be with Frank and he accepts it. The song with its layered vocals and a very drug-induced smoke-like atmosphere really makes this song unique and one of my favourites.

Ivy shows an incident that Frank faced when he was younger, i.e., back when he had an X6. I think the line he had an X6 (which he really did) shows the immaturity he had during that age. Well in this song a girl who was close to Frank asks him out, Frank doesn't necessarily reciprocate the same feelings, so he turns her down. The whole song is him contemplating on how that particular friendship turned to a bittersweet end right after she proposed him, made him wonder if all the moments they had shared were real or not, ending with a set of very scary distorted vocals to show his inner feelings towards this matter.

Pink + White shows us what Frank's ultimate motive is, i.e., achieving immortality and heaven on earth. This basically is Frank sharing some intimate moments with his new girlfriend. The song is a generational one with a beat and atmosphere so addicting that it makes you learn and experience love again. For me the line "It's the same way you showed me" also acted as a way for me to thank her for whatever moments she gave to me to remember, one step closer to closure.

Be Yourself is an interlude where it’s a telephone message of one of his friend's mother telling her son to not do alcohol or drugs in college. She seems like a stern lady who wants the best for her son and is very adamant on keeping her son away from any issues.

Well let’s just say that in Solo, Frank doesn't take the advice of his friend's mother and indulges himself in acid. At least he has a good time with his girl and they end up smoking by the end of the day. The wordings in this song is simply genius—“so low” and “solo”, “inhale” and “in hell”—and the loneliness that surrounds him after she leaves him is also apparent through the lines "But it's just me and no you, stayed up till my phone died."

I'll introduce another concept of this album that is about the changing seasons, i.e., the album can be split into themes of all four seasons. And till Solo, the theme is related to spring, sharing the message of rebirth.

Skyline To starts the summer for us. A song that radiates infinite potential as the new season starts. The song is filled with Frank being in a state of romance and high on whatever that's making him sing like he's on clouds, and the song ends with an orchestra-like layering of vocals which is quite soothing to hear.

After Self Control, we have the next season—autumn. Autumn signifies the growth of a teenager into an adult and the songs in this particular season do signify it.

Season starts with Nights and clearly shows how a relationship that's fragile gets drained when put in a particular situation. Here Frank is a person who works the night shift at his work and his girlfriend doesn't. This means that the amount of time that they spent with each other becomes less and shows a challenge that they face in their relationship. Frank, even though he loves her, questions her interest in this relationship. The beat switch that cuts this song also cuts the album's theme into two and whatever is sown after this beat switch shows a theme of Frank being introspective about him and this relationship.

Pretty Sweet shows us a Frank who evaluates where he has reached and admits that he has indeed reached the "Other Side". "Other Side" here reflects the continuing theme of this album whereby it’s shown that Frank is maturing through his gradual fallout with his girlfriend.

Facebook Story and Close to You are two interludes that are put there to transition the album to its next stage, i.e., the winter.

The winter is the harshest season and with it, it brings the theme of cold and darkness in life.

This is shown clearly in White Ferrari, where Frank resonates the loss of a companion with giving up his good old ride and reminisces about the time he had with the car. But eventually it moves to the theme of him loathing about the fact that the car is not with him anymore and it slowly makes us understand that it was more of a personification of the car tied to his lost love. He consoles himself by saying "I'm sure we're taller in other dimension" and the song ends with themes of despair.

The songs Siegfried and Godspeed show us the moving forward part of this relation whereby rather than showing us the positive perspective of this process filled with hope, it shows us the necessity and pain of the process of moving on. Siegfried especially shows us the importance of moving to a different situation or opportunity.

Well, that's the brief breakdown of the songs from my perspective.

But, I believe there to be the existence of another theme.

The theme of embracing nostalgia.

I didn't listen to this album for a good while and then out of the blue last year I listened to it again. I kid you not, all the particular memory of that tumultuous period that I had or the emotions that I felt during that particular time just came to my mind and I did have a slight grin on my face. At that moment I understood why Frank made this album. The album is unique to the listener, unique to whatever relation the listener ties the album with, unique to situations when the listener heard the album—the album is embracing your past self.

[beezus94]

Yellow walls

A tint of paleness and a galaxy of warmth

Why am I surrounded by these walls of dullness

Why aren't I in a space where I can sought to expulse.

These walls,they limit me and you

Cornered at times

They strangle you.

To be strangers at different corners of the same walls

They make me belittle myself into conclusions about you

Everytime I break a side

A brick lays there the next day

Everytime you hammer a nail

The next day there lies a frame

When are we gonna break this horrid structure.

With a touch of shyness you and i Converse

Is this ever gonna change?

One day i become toughened

The next day dusted

One day you are as sweet as raspberries the other day you were cold as a stone

Is this my destiny or the fate I have to atone.

One day I'll demolish these yellow walls

And then the only thing you'll see will be me and my love.

[beezus94]

72 Minutes.

Leaves blew to both the sides

Like cascades fading.

My head was calming like the meek

tides

Your smile gleaming.

A detour after detour i went into your world,

You crusaded through my mind with nothing but that warmth.

Sun showing its ultimate beauty on your face,

I was left shook with a hiatus.

Conversing on both our vividness you took me to a den.

Where I saw treasures undiscovered, untouched and isolated.

I took you to my mind where your seeds bloomed into a garden.

Half past that oval device.

I felt birds chirping in my ears

The sky was blank with white figures

But I never looked out the window,

As I only saw your face.

Deformations, imperfections,scars

Painted on you like a masterpiece.

Your eyes sculpted from fire and marble

Laughs making me weak as I felt gravity on my body.

Half and quaters,oval device told me

Never knew that those hands could move that fast.

My heart replicated the beats as symphonies made us both happy

Mr.Ocean paved us a way to heaven.

That Smile making me forget my name.

I wanted to be lost forever in those eyes.

Never knew at the end we were going to break our ties.

As she lept to tell me what she wanted to interpret,

I could only hear volcanos erupt

Touching my earth with its scorching warmth and killing everything that was made,

The flowers burned quickly and the garden resembled a cemetery.

Confusion led to disruption

Disruption led to desolation.

My mind was a cemetery with nothing but graves which raved me.

72 minutes to heaven and now back to a scorching earth as I felt pain holding me down on the pavement burning my face.

Were the path we strolled meaningless?

Were the laughs we shared not affectionate?

Were the symphonies we enjoyed sorrowful?

At the end the oval device went haywire as a salor in between the sea

Water rushed into that cemetery covering everything.

I drowned with a frown and an upside down crown.

As My last wish was to lay a dandelion on that grave.