bellchimesin

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A third pizza option between delivery and pickup where you and the driver meet in the middle

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If I was an apothecary I'd tell my customers their prescriptions were on phial and then giggle for twenty minutes at a time

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*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.

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I think a lot of people on this website would benefit from hearing that back in 2011 when I was a part of my college's pride group, I was friends with a gay cis male drag queen whose roommate was a lesbian. They had sex with each other often, but it didn't stop my friend from identifying as a gay guy, nor did it stop their roommate from being a lesbian. Neither of them identified as bisexual. This kind of stuff happens between queer people of "conflicting" identities all the time, it's nothing new. There aren't any rules

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I am abt to lose my fuckin mind because I happened upon this gender reveal party. and like it’s soo over the top expensive

And like I’m like. Oh great, a horse themed gender reveal party.

complete with like … just truly excessive foods and of course, themed cocktails

and this sign which like… the fragility of like *not* italicizing the word ‘colt’. Like imagine being this weird abt gender

with like, a bucket that eventually ‘revealed’ the gender

But like… the picture that really just completely undid me, for this party which surely was more money than many weddings -

it’s not a horse themed gender reveal party. It’s a gender reveal party FOR A HORSE. I can’t even like imagine the life that would lead to hosting a gender reveal party for a not-yet-born horse. Think abt getting an invitation to this. the cis are at it again.

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Tonight, I was on my way home on the streetcar when it stopped at a station and suddenly went out of service.

There was a group of two guys, a group of three guys, and me - obviously trans, obviously alone, in stiletto heels and a long tight skirt.

Oh, shit.

And the thing is, I was still totally safe. The two groups of guys didn't know each other. Frankly, I still trust myself to handle either group for a short time - long enough for a passing driver to help me, or for the other one to get involved. And neither group was really going to do anything while the other was there to witness it.

Besides, we were close to my building. Not close enough for me to walk there, at least not in those shoes. But close enough to be in the 'good neighbourhood' in what's already a pretty safe city. The whole country is pretty safe, really. And we were in the quiet, affluent, well-lit neighbourhood on top of that.

It wouldn't have been entirely unreasonable for me to walk the rest of the way home through that - if my feet could have taken it, that is.

Still, I noticed the difference. Two years ago, I would never have paid attention to the two groups of guys. I wouldn't have thought about the light, or the neighbourhood, or the cars going by. I would have gotten out, kept my nose in my ebook, and maybe not even gotten on the next streetcar. It was a lovely evening.

But this wasn't two years ago. This was now. And I'm not what I used to be.

So on this lovely evening, in my safe neighbourhood, in my safe city, in my safe country, in my low-cut shirt and four-inch heels, I stood attentively. And I shook.

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burning man 2023 explained

burning man is a festival for rich white people who want to smoke weed and trip acid in the nevada desert and pretend they're one with the earth. it's not a music festival or anything that serves any purpose, it's just vibes

a hundred year flash flood just hit nevada, including where burning man is being held this very weekend

dry desert ground can't suddenly absorb water, let alone that much water all at once, so now burning man is a giant mud pit with THICK deep mud

nobody can get in or out, so they closed all the roads

FEMA just told the *73,000 PEOPLE* stranded at burning man to shelter in place, ration food and water, and essentially "you're on your own, good luck"

the port-o-potties are overflowing into the mud they're all walking around in

the official CDC twitter account tweeted (and then deleted) that there's a confirmed ebola outbreak at burning man, but people are pretty sure it's just trench illnesses. like actual WWI trench illnesses

earlier this week, climate activists protested against burning man, and all the attendees drove right past them (and yelled at them, and tried to get them arrested, etc)

there's a private jet at burning man where people can join the mile high club. it just takes off and lands all day and lets people fuck in it. no word yet on the fuck plane's current status/location

and lastly: when the ground here gets wet, the sea monkeys hatch

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Q: "Pay attention, Bond. These are ordinary blow-guns. But these darts contain estrogen, and these darts contain testosterone. Do try not to mix them up."

Bond: [pouring the syringes into each other]

Q: "Stop doing that, Bond! It's dangerous."

Bond: [shaking them]

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i shoul be a chess grandmaster because i'm so good at sitting at a table with my head in my hands and a look of despair on my face

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i fucking haaate being a castle guard dude the king's coat of arms is fucking stupid and all the female courtiers laugh at my tabard. can somebody come usurp this guy already

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I really fucking hate when I’m like “this is a systemic problem” and people are like “You’re right! Everyone needs to work on themselves to solve this problem!” like bitch no this is not a self-help book. 

You aren’t going to stop a drought from taking shorter showers or save the world by eating tofu or fix economic injustice in Africa with micro-loans or stop global warming by lowering your carbon footprint or end marginalization by changing what words you say.

“Systemic” doesn’t mean “everyone’s stuck in this original sin and must repent to be saved”, it means “there is a system that is responsible”. Systems aren’t just the aggregate of people’s individual behavior, but networks of institutions that enforce ways of life.

Your shorter shower doesn’t save the earth, that’s just an idea that Nestle sold you to lower everyone else’s water intake so that they could expand theirs and make more profits. That’s the case for most of these individualizing solutions: they are almost always trotted out by the worst offenders to redirect responsibility to the average citizen.

If you want to take significant steps to end the drought you should go literally destroy Nestle’s facilities as the first step. Anything less is good for coping with anxiety over the issue but basically nothing else.

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One of my most despised aspects of Patriarchal Society is when I express anger and someone helpfully comes along to tell me how I realy feel

Terfs fuck off btw this is a big kid convo

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"Hey Bell, why do you use 'bollocks' as your ultimate swear? You're not English."

I'm a transfeminine lesbian, they're among my least favourite things ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

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Listen to the theme song, stop there. It's the best part of the experience by far

is the animorphs tv show worth watching?

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British demons with a penchant for philosophy. She can't do much to help beyond offering to connect him with a good divorce lawyer.

....

........

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who finds this funny.

[Image ID: Two demons, both with a black-and-red motif, sitting on red velvet stools at a small, circular table. The table boasts a crystal ball, and behind them a fire is burning in a fireplace. The left demon is Trixie Mephistopheles, a brunette female demon with her black wings outstretched. She is leaning on one hand with a look of vague amusement bordering on sympathy. On the right is Crowley from good omens, a red-headed demon with dark sunglasses. He appears to be crying, slumped over the small table with his head down.]

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This is a story about the worst burrito ever.

Click here to read it.