belusage

[belusage]

I’m choosing to be mad at only myself as a form of getting over you. you deserve nothing, not even my anger. i deserve everything. 

[belusage]

anger serves me for a while. like fertilizer for flowers to bloom. 

[belusage]

try all you want. you can never make someone wrong for being their own version of honesty. you simply can’t. you can’t without harming yourself. making them wrong for your hurt is hurting you. don’t bring another into your lesson. 

[belusage]

#PrettyGirl

Distractions can mean NOTHING or SOMETHING - your choice. You can choose to give the distraction meaning but you don't ever have to give it power. They can be people, ideas, situations, etc. Stay focused on your path, present to your calling. Live your life. Let distractions be like a passing wind. Don't invite it in.

[belusage]

You or I

Biggest 2015 take away: turning "you" to 'I' No, not selfishly but introspectively. Looking at what happens 'to you' seemingly by others 'you' as also happening BY me to you 'i'.

Taking full responsibility for the experiences i am having instead of placing blame. Never been a blame person in general, but i was amazed at the levels and depths of victimhood i paraded and claimed to be simply me 'setting boundaries' or 'protecting myself' because of how another wrongfully treated me (perceptively speaking). Fear based thinking is extremely sinister and tricky and covert. It masquerades as self protection and self love really well.

There can be no real love where there is blame.

Question 'I' had to ask myself is: if this person(s)/situation is still 'making me' feel this way am i simply making myself feel this way? AND! am i making them feel this way, thus keeping the cycle going for me? (that's the real work part i didnt begin or even realized was blocking my growth) the former gives me an excuse to put up a wall because i am mostly smart enough to know that when ppl 'make me' feel a certain way, i can choose to just not associate with them and keep my expectations. The latter however, realizes the wall is already up and i am simply banging my head on it over and over because of my own failed expectations of myself not the other person. The latter takes the other off the hook for my joy and makes me stop banging my head and get on with making my joy. Placing my energy in places where there are no walls and no blame. ---------- (Note: when i first typed this i wrote it with 'you, us, them, ourselves, yourself', which i am custom to doing, especially as an author and former coach. but that contradicted the entire point i was making in the beginning so i went back and put this in first person (swapped 'you' for 'I', etc). Yup! Totally different experience, totally deepened 'my' understanding of personal accountaility and control over our- i mean - my own experiences. 😊)

[belusage]

Purpose connections only. On all levels.

[belusage]

Anthem today. I realize long ago, what is complicated for most is too simple for me. I push more. Normal is not enough. Extraordinary isnt even enough. Unspeakable. I know all of life is me observing every place i didnt quite belong, as much as i wanted to, tried to.

[belusage]

That's what he was made to do.

[belusage]

This was adorable.

A Second Grader Writes To Snoop Dogg About His New Cannabis Brand

Not everyone is so quick to celebrate Snoop Dogg’s new mainstream cannabis brand, Leafs By Snoop.

Click here for Snoop’s response.

[belusage]

i think you’re a poem and everyone i’ve known before you has been a novel. you move in different languages. what’s the word for,‘your very heartbeat has a thousand bluebirds lined up outside your window in anticipation?’

- Pavana पवन (via maza-dohta)

Me.

[belusage]

A Second Grader Writes To Snoop Dogg About His New Cannabis Brand

Not everyone is so quick to celebrate Snoop Dogg’s new mainstream cannabis brand, Leafs By Snoop.

Click here for Snoop’s response.

[belusage]

We compare the worst we know about ourselves, to the best we assume about others.

Deniro Farrar (via heyfranhey)

[belusage]

Listen to belu by Belu Sage #np on #SoundCloud Love this.

[belusage]

(4/6) “One day the counselor at my daughter’s elementary school called me. She said that my daughter had spoken up in class about the abuse. She asked me to come in for a meeting. I downplayed it because I was scared. I told her: ‘Thanks for your concern. But it was nothing, really. And it’s already stopped.’ The counselor gave me a pamphlet for a place called HeartShare. HeartShare was just two blocks from my house, so I stopped in one day. I told the counselor what was happening. She discussed the option of domestic violence shelters. But I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to break up my family. Then one day he beat me so badly in the stairwell. He punched me so hard that he got blood on my children. I told the counselor what happened and she said to gather all my papers. She told me she’d be in a black car on the corner. I told my husband I was going to the grocery store. I was so nervous because he timed me every time I left the house. I still had to pick up the kids from school. And if I was gone for more than a few minutes, he’d come looking for me.”