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[bhorror]

Day 13 - CREEP VAN ( 2012)

“Let the Bad Times Roll!”

PLOT Needing a new vehicle, a man calls the wrong number to buy an old “creep” van, only to find out the van is being used by a murderous psycho to hunt down and kill anyone and everyone.

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) I’ve saved this one for last. This is the best homage to the 80s B-horror that I’ve seen recently. Not because it is a great movie; not because it has awards written all over it; and not because the story will make you laugh and cry and contemplate your life’s future. No. It is good because it has the right formula and the right feel to mimic a good (and by good I mean bad) B-horror movie. It has a very basic plot and a murderer who has no motive. The van itself is a character as it has so, so many booby traps and weapons built into it that are used throughout the film (*see the test drive scene link below*). The actors appear as if they were friends of the film makers and wanted to say they “acted” in a movie. This indie film really delivers what you want if you want a cheesy, low budget, gore-filled, brain-numbed horror movie. I really do not want to ruin it for you, but am telling you now, for a good unintentional laugh, and a reminiscent blast from the 80s past-please watch this flick. At least look at the corny clips and pictures on YouTube. Overall, I’d give it 9 slices out of 10.

ACTING The acting is terrible. I really think the cue cards were just off to the side, or maybe the actors were even told the basic line and they improvised the entire scene. But that’s exactly what a movie called Creep Van needs. Some of the scenes are quite weird as well. Some odd adult themes, but again, very funny and acted hilariously…is that a word?

SCARES/SCARY SCARES - H-E- double hockey sticks, NO SCARY - No, it’s a van.

GORE SCORE This one gets a 7.5 out of 10. Score is for a woman hit with a van then pulled apart in two pieces, a man run over multiple times, a couple having sex on the couch as the van crashes into the house and runs them both over, a seatbelt tightening down to rip her skin and squeeze a woman to death, a meat tenderizer hooked up inside the van to deliver a blow to the back of same woman’s head, and a metal stake released by a button in the van that penetrates a hitchhiker’s chest.

BODY COUNT 16

BOOBY COUNT 2

HORROR FANS I don’t think so.

B-HORROR FANS A must see and an instant classic in the “B” world. See it twice!

SEE IT Netflix - No DVD and No Streaming Amazon - Buy on DVD and Instant, and free on Prime. YouTube - Clips only.

Check out the Red Band trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziXfaTykH2c

Check out this ‘test drive’ scene here (warning-graphic): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6QG8FEjyKQ

[bhorror]

Day 12 - BIG ASS SPIDER! (2013)

“10 stories high and very hungry.”

PLOT An dorky exterminator comes face to face with a 2 foot long spider while in the hospital and realizes it is getting bigger, and now must become the hero.

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) I LOVE how this movie begins with the ending and you have no idea what is going on, just that there is a huuuuge spider terrorizing a city and one man is the warrior and must overcome. Those kinds of intros are definitely some of my favorites. They really get you pulled into the story very quickly and excited about how it all got started. And this is how…12 hours earlier… A bug man (Alex) is bitten by a spider and rushed to the hospital. While there a body is brought in that had a rather large spider growing inside of it. It gets loose and Alex teams up with the security guard (Jose) to locate and get rid of the spider. A military team, who had cooked up this spider in a lab, shows up and also begins to track down this large arachnid. This movie had an excellent B-horror feel to it. Remiscent of the old 50s B movies rather than the 80s. It is like The Blob (1958) or Them! (1954). Because of this, it does lack the 80s B-horror components, but certainly makes up for it in story, action, acting and worthiness. The comedy between the two main characters is not rushed, but beautifully scattered throughout to blend both action and fun into an amusing good time. The love story that surfaces throughout the movie is great as well. It doesn’t take over the movie, but does give it a reason to proceed. If there was one thing I’d change about this movie, it would be to spend a bit more on the CGI of the spider, because at times it does look very videogame-like. At other times, it looks pretty good. This is one I would encourage B fans to own. And there’s a scene during the credits-YES! Overall, I’d give it 8.5 slices out of 10.

ACTING The acting is great. The lead (Greg Grunberg) and the sidekick (Lombardo Boyar) are fantastic together. It never felt like I was watching actors recite lines, except for a few of the military personnel. Otherwise, the acting was very suitable for the script. The casting director deserves a shout-out.

SCARES/SCARY Scares - None. Scary - Ha, no.

GORE SCORE This one gets a 6.5 out of 10. Score is for nasty spider bites, a man’s face melting from spider venom, spider legs’ stabbings and splittings, It’s not much, but definitely detailed and gnarly at times.

BODY COUNT 14 (The park and the street scenes have many, many more. At least 50-70)

BOOBY COUNT Sadly, 0.

HORROR FANS You would be unimpressed. But it’s a fun ride.

B-HORROR FANS You must own this one!

SEE IT Netflix - DVD only, NO Streaming Amazon - Buy on Blu-ray, DVD and Instant. YouTube - Clips only.

Check out the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeRW_dClNkI

Watch the ‘park scene’ here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpFiJGQ_0HM

[bhorror]

Day 11 - ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE (2013)

“You Can’t Kill Their Spirit.”

PLOT The death of a cheerleader brings the squad closer together as a supposed accident kills them all. A witch-crafting classmate brings them all back as zombies to find their murderer with a vengeance, and new cheers.

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) Starting off with documentary footage, a friend (Maddy) of the high school cheer squad is shooting some video of them, as the head cheerleader (Lexi) performs a high toss where she winds up falling directly on her head (ouch)…and dying. “This is the most dangerous sport in American high school, bitch.” The rest of the squad partly blames Maddy for the accident. As revenge, Maddy joins the squad to infiltrate and seek out the truth. Only problem is she doesn’t know they are all about to die and become zombies. This is just the tip of the iceberg. There is actually a lot more to the story line. The good part of that is this is not a movie based on a simple 10-minute story and elongated; it is very intricate. The bad part of that is being a B-horrorish movie, it should be. Watching it, I was torn between missing the simplistic plot and enjoying the intricate twists and turns of this one. It was better than I thought it would be. It has attitude like Bring It On (2000), darkness like The Craft (1996) with some craziness of Heathers (1988) thrown in. It started off like it was going to be boring and same ol’ same ol’, but it brought a lot more to the table as it went along. The cheerleaders are your typical beauties with not much smarts. The jocks are the stereotypical jerks with one thing on their mind. This plays throughout the film, but has a couple characters that break that stereotype, which is a comforting change. An interesting twist of the plot, was being the cheerleaders were all brought back together, as one feels something, the others feel the same thing. Whether it is sex, pain, or feeding on another human-they all feel it. The horror, which was hard to locate, was overpowered by the drama. Even though, the film was pretty good, the feel of this movie never reached its horror potential. It could have been a lot scarier and gorier, but stopped around the bloody supernatural and suspense. But even with that, the movie doesn’t disappoint. It was definitely entertaining and leaves the ending open for a sequel. I’m ready for it. Overall, I’d give it 7.5 slices out of 10.

ACTING The characters seemed a lot older than high school age, so that took some of the believability away from this movie. Not that zombies and sorcery and bringing people back from the dead is all that believable, it’s just that the age thing was, well you get the point. Otherwise, the females had perfected the cheerleading act, and the male jocks had the overage levels of testosterone down pat.

SCARES/SCARY SCARES - Nothing visual, just audible scares from objects flying around and people attacking others. SCARY - Some moments where an innocent cheerleader turns deranged and sprints toward the victim could be seen as scary.

GORE SCORE This one gets a 5.5 out of 10. There is some gore and it can be nasty. But it is minor. Like when one of the cheerleaders realizes she has a small cut on her forehead and reaches to feel it and winds up putting her finger in the cut and rubbing it around. The score is for some animated blood, some bodies sucked dry of blood, some stabbings, and a decayed zombie crawling out of the grave.

BODY COUNT 8

BOOBY COUNT 2

HORROR FANS This one lacks the creepy, sinister aspect of a true horror, but lacking some of the B traits may lend itself to being liked a little more. Worth a view.

B-HORROR FANS Just like above, even though it is missing those B attributes, the ones that are there swell and give it some substance. Try it out.

SEE IT Netflix - DVD and Streaming Amazon - Buy on Blu-ray, DVD and Instant. YouTube - Clips only.

Check out the Red Band trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6wW89sOP7Q

[bhorror]

Day 10 - BAIT (2012)

“Cleanup on aisle 7.”

PLOT People are trapped in a flooded grocery store when a tsunami hits an Australian town. Oh, and there are sharks trapped in the grocery store with them.

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) Before I begin, please keep in mind, when I say good, or ‘not bad’, I am referring to B-horror movies. So, good may be what most think are terrible. With that said, I am saying this OZsploitation (aka sharksploitation) flick one is not bad. It definitely does not have most of the B formula, but it does have action, comedy and horror, so it was worth the watch…for me, anyway. The opening was good and got right to the shark action, then immediately to the tsunami. The people were not only trapped in the store, but some were also underneath in the car deck as a great white is swimming around. In the store, all people gather on top of the frozen food containers, so they can get to higher ground. One guy makes an anti-shark suit from metal shopping carts and baskets. Another scene has the shark rise out of the water and mug for the camera with entrails all in its mouth. Can someone literally say ‘cheese’? The movie company is working on a sequel, so I’d be lying if I said I was not interested. Just get past the emotional portions of the film and the rest is history. Overall, I’d give it 5 slices out of 10.

ACTING These actors are not great, but they give it their best shot and come through. There’s drama, comedy, and horror throughout this movie and the actors, I think, are able to keep up. Will there be any awards given for acting? Um, probably not, but the female lead does a good job at relaying all emotions when necessary. There are all the major stereotypes of characters: the thief, the ingenue, the criminal, the couple, the bad guy with a change of heart, the concerned father, and the policeman (the law). These along with the few that are introduced just kill off are present.

SCARES/SCARY SCARES - There are some good ones - dead bodies pop up here and there with a surprise, sharks jump out of the water at random times, and even the happy ending-gone-bad. SCARY - Not really scary. Something about a water-filled supermarket that takes away from the scariness.

GORE SCORE Score is right in the middle for only a few gory scenes, but they are done well. This one gets a 5.5 out of 10. Score is for a head floating away from a body, a guy bitten in half, fan blade to the face, shark with mouthful of guts.

BODY COUNT 10

BOOBY COUNT 0

HORROR FANS Almost not B, so you may enjoy it.

B-HORROR FANS Almost not B, so you may not enjoy it.

SEE IT Netflix - No DVD, NO Streaming Amazon - Buy on Blu-ray, DVD and Instant. YouTube - Watch it free.

Check out the Red Band trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5-5PAIWO2o

Watch it in its entirety: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9Tjn8KXnTo

[bhorror]

Day 9 - ZOMBEAVERS (2014) *Duo-View*

“You'll all be dammed!”

PLOT Three girls and three guys head to a cabin by the lake to get away from their problems. Unfortunately, their problems continue as toxic waste has turned the local beavers into zombies.

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) B-Horror dude Get ready for a horrendous ride into the world of bad puppets, bad innuendoes, and bad play on words. This is exactly what is needed…to a point. Three girls head to a cabin by the lake in Ashwood to get away from their boyfriends. It just so happens that a canister of toxic waste has accidentally rolled off a truck and into the lake where beavers have made their home. The boyfriends show up unexpectedly and the mayhem ensues. This short 77 minute zombie flick has a lot of lifeless moments. You would think they’d try to pack it full of entertainment, but it seems they had a great short and needed to turn it into a full length. The characters are kinda flat, the accents are bad, and the beavers are awful puppets. The animated intro was good and the POV shots from a beaver’s perspective was a nice touch. I also liked the fact that if a zombeaver bites or scratches you, you’ll turn into - not a zombie, but a zombeaver. It’s funny at times, and the few parts that were good, were good, but it just needed more substance and more story. I really can’t say much more about it except stay for after the credits - you’ll see a bumblebee eating a dead zombeaver. This means there will be some zom-bees. Overall, I’d give it 5 slices out of 10.

Cheesefest chick I had seen this on Netflix when perusing for something to watch a while back. I admittedly rolled my eyes at the pic they chose for it. It was and wasn’t what I expected. I did like the Cabin Fever feel of the overall film. With the cheesy humor, bloody gore, and ridiculous story line, I felt it vaguely played homage to similar films that have made impacts on the horror genre. Even though I felt it payed homage to Cabin Fever, it lacked any of the cult quality magic that made Cabin Fever so special. I thought the beavers were horribly crafted and if made with more realism in mind, it could have really made the movie better. They were so dark on my screen I really couldn’t see them that well. I felt they were not scary or gory enough for my taste. The most memorable part was definitely when Zombie Jen bit the dude’s penis off in the bathroom. Ouch! One minute it is sink sex after realizing there is no way out of their beaver hotel. Thankfully at this point in the movie the gore had FINALLY peaked, so this scene made me jump and laugh. The sound the beavers made was TERRIBLE and made me cringe every time I heard it. They sounded like rabid tigers, which completely ruined any believability this movie ever had of convincing me beavers were killer zombies. There were only two good things that happened in this entire movie. 1) The dog named Bosley was flipping adorable 2) The “Zombees” at the end made me cackle. Now THAT was a great ending to an otherwise snoozefest of a horror film.

ACTING B-horror dude Mediocre acting. But if it was any better, it would not fit into a movie titled, Zombeavers. The writing is very juvenile, so the acting fits well, but it is still bad. Now, it could be worse, so I’m glad it was as cheesy as it was. And John Mayer with a ‘stache and being very random. That’s funny.

Cheesefest chick The acting was SO bad. I mean whole other level bad. Like having people you just so happened to have theater with get together to make an already crappy film. First thing that proved this was the “goth” girl’s ridiculous accent! I could not take her seriously. I thought it couldn’t get any worse until the dudes showed up. ACTING at it’s finest, let me tell you. The humor was mediocre funny. The funniest part was seeing John Mayer be the passenger in the truck at the beginning of the movie. He had some pretty good quips. The neighbor lady’s description about her daughter being a total bitch and how she couldn’t stand her was pretty damn funny and unexpected. The apex of the movie was when Jen was locked in a room and beat the floor repeatedly with her newfound beaver tail. That made me LOL pretty loudly. (That’s the point of this movie, I’m assuming?)

SCARES/SCARY B-horror dude SCARES - Mostly beaver jump scares.

Cheesefest chick SCARES - The only scares were horribly cheap scares. The kind where you are looking out the window at a dark landscape and you KNOW something is about to scare the hell out of you, because it is sudden and loud.

B-horror dude SCARY - Haha, I don’t need to answer this one.

Cheesefest chick SCARY - This movie was definitely not scary. The beavers were so terribly done that I could not get past the fact they always looked like they were puppets. However, the makeup and violence that was used for the human zombieavers made up for it! I loved their teeth. Even the bear had beaver teeth!

GORE SCORE B-horror dude Very little gore, but effective. This one gets a 4.5 out of 10. Score is for smashing a beaver with a baseball bat, a severed foot (which remains in a ziploc baggie most of the movie, and ax to the head, a zombeaver person eating another person’s face, and of course, a zombeaver person biting off some male genitalia.

Cheesefest chick I’d give it a 7 out of 10. There was very little good gore. The best scenes were toward the end when the humans began turning and eating everyone around them. The scene where the guy with the beanie (obviously not good with names) started devouring the random redneck from the woods was actually pretty creepy. The eyes had a very original Evil Dead feel to them.

BODY COUNT 14 (including 10 humans, 2 dogs, 1 bear, 1 deer) plus the numerous beavers.

BOOBY COUNT 2

HORROR FANS B-horror dude Never watch this.

Cheesefest chick Nope. NOOOOOOOOOOPE.

B-HORROR FANS B-horror dude If you like the Sharknado-type movies, you’ll love this one.

Cheesefest chick There was no B-horror magic here. I felt zero connection and was bored for most of the movie. It felt like a recycled story used time and again, but this time with a different way people turn into zombies or what have you. Save your time. Trust me.

SEE IT Netflix - DVD and Streaming Amazon - Buy on Blu-ray, DVD and Instant. YouTube - Watch it free.

Check out the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7onFrBK_hKE

Watch it in its entirety: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJS3dlmQpUM

[bhorror]

Day 8 - STAGE FRIGHT (2014)

“Sing Your Heart Out!”

PLOT At a musical theater camp, where everything is diva, a killer has come to stop their production and prove the show must NOT go on.

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) Very meta, this musical/opera about a musical/opera. Kudos already for understanding that opening line of this review. I love when genres don’t just mix together, they clash…and this is one of those classics. Unlike the film, Repo! (2008), this uses the musical numbers as an additional character, rather than a means of storytelling. You never know when it’s going to pop up and scare you or make you laugh or maybe just be awkward. An excellent way to entice the audience…Audience of B-horror fans, of course. This one starts with a disclaimer, “The following is based on true events. While the names have been changed to respect the victims and their families, the musical numbers will be performed exactly as they occurred.” Very corny, but damn, it whets your appetite. Cut to a bus of kids on their way to musical theater camp who adore it so much, that the bus ride turns into the opening number, entitled “We’re Here/ We’re Gay”. It just gets better from there. The camp is about to put on a show (kabuki themed) that last time performed, which was 10 years prior, ended with the main character being murdered. Now the lead is the victim’s daughter who wants to do it for her mom. The boring parts are outweighed by the music, action or montage. The ending had a nice memorable moment as the show is going on around the murders, then all of a sudden-they merge. It gives new meaning to “This one time, at music camp…” I will say, it does lack some of the mawkish B-horror attributes like the unintentional comedy and the different stereotypical characters. The comedy IS intentional and the stereotypes are all of theater folk. But it totally makes up for it by the movie being an entity that knows it is cheesy, so it plays off itself. Plus, the killer is the rock star and performs a musical number. HELLO! Yes, performs. Overall, I’d give it 8 slices out of 10.

ACTING The acting here is very well done. Of course we have Meat Loaf in the role of show producer. His acting chops and “Hot Patootie” voice play well in this film. There are some newcomers and some other vets, but honestly you wouldn’t be able to tell who’s who. For the fact that it IS a musical theater camp, the acting is up to par.

SCARES/SCARY SCARES - The killer jumps out a few times which can initiate a startle or two. SCARY - I thought the killer’s mask was a bit creepy, along with some of the poses. Dark scenes and confined locations add to this as well.

GORE SCORE This one gets an 5.5 out of 10. This is for stabbed in the throat and mouth, light bulb in the mouth with electrocution, nail gunned (numerous) in the face, and sawed open a stomach with a bit of entrails. Sounds gory, but on-screen time is very minimal.

BODY COUNT 8

BOOBY COUNT 0

HORROR FANS Scary mask, creepy sets, lots blood. Just try it and don’t mind the musical numbers.

B-HORROR FANS Do it! Notes of Glee (2009) mixed with Cheerleader Camp (1988) along with a thrashy electric guitar for audible support. Watch it.

SEE IT Netflix - DVD and Streaming Amazon - Buy on Blu-ray, DVD and Instant. YouTube - Full movie to rent.

Watch the first 10 minutes here (bloody, then funny - Be warned): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-WLj_Ygo5Y

Check out the red band trailer here (may have to sign in): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6Wz0YuG1VM

[bhorror]

Day 7 - SHARK NIGHT 3D (2011)

“Terror runs deep.”

PLOT Seven friends head to a lake house for a weekend getaway from college only to find out they are about to become shark food.

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) Cliché characters - football star and his girlfriend, egotistical male model, trashy girl, video game guy, goody-goody girl, & pre-med dorky dude. They arrive at a Louisiana lake house for some R&R only to find out the sheriff and his cronies have planted sharks in the lake to make some money as they video live deaths and sell it to cable stations for the ever-popular Shark Week. There is some substance in that amusing plot, but unfortunately, it is played out as if this movie debuted CBS. An over-abundance of dialogue, emotions, and no-shark action swims this flick right into the net early on. It starts off good with an opening equal to Jaws, but then goes downhill when it tries to introduce all the main characters and gives them backgrounds with too many lines before waiting a while to show the next shark. It IS called Shark Night, so I was hoping to see sharks and night time. But the sharks were few and far between, and the movie took place mainly in the day time. There is a hilarious wave runner scene (see pic below), but beyond that, a nap would’ve been better. Oh, and isn’t this supposed to be in 3-D? Very little sequences that come out at you. Overall, I’d give it 3 slices out of 10.

ACTING The acting is done well. Many veteran actors play their characters pretty straight forward. I always like Donal Logue. He always has a bit of comedic timing in everything he does. He and his mustache do a fine job at being the sheriff. Otherwise, the sharks have the only B-horror acting, as they make facial expressions like no other shark has made in history. That’s acting.

SCARES/SCARY SCARES - Perfectly timed sharks jumping out of the water like salmon swimming upstream. SCARY - Some underwater shots have some creepiness, but that’s it.

GORE SCORE This one gets a 1.5 out of 10. Score is for not having a gore budget whatsoever. The only gore we see, besides just red food coloring in the water, is when a shark gets blown up and its innards become outtards. And it’s very digital, at best. Boo on that.

BODY COUNT 9 (sorta high, but most are off-screen or just fake bloody)

BOOBY COUNT 0 (some obligatories, but that’s it. Sad)

HORROR FANS Honestly, you may like it or at least think it’s semi-good as an action-thriller. Remember to pretend it’s a made for TV flick.

B-HORROR FANS Snoozefest. Watch the few good clips on youtube and be done with it.

SEE IT Netflix - DVD only, NO Streaming Amazon - Buy on Blu-ray, DVD and Instant. YouTube - Watch it free.

Check out the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zWvV7OB2kE

Watch it in its entirety: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1A-zUNsdVk

[bhorror]

Day 6 - WOLFCOP (2014)

“Here comes the fuzz.”

PLOT In a small town, a boozy policeman does his worst at tracking a murders and robbers, until he finds out he has been a victim of the occult and becomes a wolf.                                                                                                                      

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) Almost on the verge of greatness comes this classic, Wolfcop. The story of Lou, a policeman who has given up on life and has whittled down to a no good, useless crime fighter. His worth is less than the hooch he drinks every night. One night he finds himself chasing down a criminal and winds up getting knocked out. He wakes in the woods as part of an occult ceremony. Lasting only seconds to him, he wakes to find a pentagram carved onto his chest. That’s not the only difference as he is now a lycanthropic law officer, aka a wolf cop. Once he “finds himself” as the wolf, things begin to get hairy. He falls right into his new body and begins to fight crime the way he always intended. I really like a movie where it takes a bad incident to help someone find their way in life. That’s this film. The editing is spectacular and I felt that there was never a moment of down time. It was either progressive information about the main character, wolf morphing, gore, or total action. Oh, and did I mention the 80s montage. Yes, there is a montage of Lou giving his car an overhaul and simply, “wolfing” his car out. Of course the auto body place is called Stiles Auto Body, which is a throwback to the character from Teen Wolf (1985). Even though I was missing a bit more horror and some beneficial B traits, I liked it. Everything from the Eclipse Radio Station to the Piggies robbing gang, it definitely was one that I will want to watch again. Can’t wait for the sequel. Overall, I��d give it 7 slices out of 10.

ACTING I liked the acting. It was exactly what the movie needed to keep it going. The acting is played straight by the main characters. This keeps the believability high. The only acting played not straight is comical sidekick Willie (Jonathan Cherry). His comic relief and timing is almost worth watching the movie for…almost unless you want to see an acting wolf cop. The main character Lou (Leo Fafard) does an excellent job at portraying the low-life, good for nothing cop, then turning it around and being a badass as the wolf. He has very little lines as a wolf, but holds his own with his actions. The supporting cast really adds to the overall ensemble of the town and brings a bit of reality to the town where the Wolfcop resides.

SCARES/SCARY SCARES - Barely any and if so, done with music. SCARY - No.

GORE SCORE This one gets an 6 out of 10. Ripped-off face used as a mask; eye pulled out with switchblade; Head lopped off. Even though these sound great, the makeup/SFX did have some unreal-ness to it.

BODY COUNT 18 (most are gunshots…because he’s a cop, you know)

BOOBY COUNT 6

HORROR FANS Barely a horror-comedy as it lacks the horror. But it is good, so maybe just one time through.

B-HORROR FANS Yes. Reaching back to the 80s film, even though it lacks horror, it makes up for in awesomeness.

SEE IT Netflix - DVD and streaming Amazon - Buy on Blu-ray, DVD and Instant. YouTube - Full movie to buy.

Check out the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_P4C8x9S28

[bhorror]

Day 5 - ZOOMBIES (2016)  *DUO-VIEW* - kid approved

“It’s Jurassic World of the Dead.”

PLOT A zoo adventure park goes into a state of panic as a virus breaks out amongst the animals turning them into the walking animal dead.

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) B-Horror Dude Here we have an Asylum film. If you don’t know what that is, please look up The Asylum before you proceed…because that will tell you everything you need. This film begins with an infected set of monkeys being brought to the lab of Eden Wildlife Zoo (basically a rehab for animals where tourists can visit). Well, these monkeys have zombie-itis and set off a chain reaction of killing the people and infecting all the other animals. Pretty hilarious in its own right, but done by Asylum, you know you’re in for a fun, cheesy (and low budget) ride. The CGI is bad, but worth a good guffaw. The overly dramatic parts (that don’t need to be) are pretty good and heavy throughout. This one would be more of a family B-horror as it does lack the always inevitable B-horror cussing, adult situations, and intense violent themes. But it was perfect for my Duo-view counterpart, B-lovin’ Middleschooler. Overall, I’d give it 6 slices out of 10.

B-lovin’ Middleschooler What I liked about this movie is what I like about all Asylum films - the ridiculous plot and the terrible acting. This movie had me laughing so much. I didn't like the main characters eight-year-old daughter. She just felt like something that was not needed, but just put in there to be annoying and her faces to coincide with her acting skills made me nauseous. Every single scene that had that little girl made me want to cringe to my death. A memorable part was when the two zombie giraffes pulled one of the male interns arms off and ate them. One thing that stood out to me about this movie is how the survivors tried to help each other, when in most movies there is always at least one person that is selfish and thinks that they can survive on their own. I give this B-horror film a 7.5 out of 10.

ACTING B-Horror Dude The zombie Monkeys, zombie Boars, zombie Giraffes, zombie Tigers, zombie Koalas, zombie Gorillas, zombie Lemurs, zombie Lions, zombie Parrots, and zombie Eagles did a great job. Everyone else did not. But that’s the point, right?

B-lovin’ Middleschooler The acting was not believable through most of the movie. There were many funny parts such as when the monkey came back to life as a zombie and all that the female doctor says is “WHOA!” Overall the acting was laughable.

SCARES/SCARY B-Horror Dude Scares - Jump scares in terms of shrieking zombie animals jumping at you. Scary - Just the opposite of scary.

B-lovin’ Middleschooler Scares - There were a few jump scares, but most are expected by the way the cameras were placed. Scary - This film did not have a creepy or depressing kind of feel to it. It would not be the kind of thing that would give you nightmares or would keep you up all night.

GORE SCORE B-Horror Dude This one gets an 3.5 out of 10. Score is for a monkey pulling eyeballs out (very digital), a monkey bursts out of someone’s chest (again, very digital), zombie birds flying around on fire (very weird digital), and lastly a bird made a nest in someone’s guts, with eggs (that one was pretty good, but also very digital).

B-lovin’ Middleschooler I would give this movie a 6 out of 10. This is because there is a lot of blood throughout the movie and lots of bloody organs.

BODY COUNT 9

BOOBY COUNT 0 - Come on, this is a family movie.

HORROR FANS B-Horror Dude Steer clear. Barely in the horror genre.

B-lovin’ Middleschooler People that only like serious horror movies would not care for this movie at all since, like many Asylum films, it does not give you the same spooky feel that a true horror movie would and instead is basically a comedy.

B-HORROR FANS B-Horror Dude If you’re not expecting the adult themes and want to enjoy some B-horror with the fam, this is the one.

B-lovin’ Middleschooler I think B-horror movie fans will like this movie. This film has all of the aspects that would make it another movie for B-horror fans of my age to add to their collection. It has the most laughable plot, the worst actors, and is somehow so funny it will keep you entertained.

SEE IT Netflix - DVD and Streaming Amazon - Buy on DVD and Free Prime. YouTube - Watch it free.

Check out the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BH5S-PxBPC8

Watch it in its entirety: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gWrujyW03w

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Day 4 - PIRANHA 3DD (2012)

“Double the action. Double the terror. Double the D's.”

PLOT A risque-themed water park is opened near a location where piranha were spotted years before. You can guess what happens.

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) Lake Victoria, the spring break location from the first one, is now a ghost town. But just down the road a water park called The Big Wet is opening. Unbeknownst to anyone except the owner, the water is being stolen from Lake Victoria. With a ludicrous premise already explained, you have to go into this film knowing it will be raunchy, raucous, and ridiculous. These are good adjectives in the world of B-horror. John Gulager, son of Clu Gulager (Return of the Living Dead - 1985), helm this picture off the heels of his Project Greenlight fame and Feast (2005) trilogy. He has an eye for direction that leans toward the syrupy blend of horror and comedy. I like to keep them separated until it awkwardly has to mix, whereas Gulager pours it right in front of you. Let the audience decide to laugh, don’t tell them this is where to laugh. Not bad, but be ready for it. Just when you thought it was safe to laugh, it runs back up and lodges itself in your butt crack. Yes, that’s right - a piranha in someone’s booty. Oh, if that’s not enough one swims up a girl’s business, then attaches itself to a guy’s business after they finish their business. There’s more, but explaining will not help. This review is a bit discombobulated, like the movie, but more of what to expect are the basics - Young jerk of chief police taking bribes to keep the park open, a sleazy stepdad turning the watermark into an adult park, and David Hasselhoff. Oh, and at the end of the film, it is literally raining piranha. I ain’t lying. Overall, I’d give it 6 slices out of 10.

ACTING Back for a little more from Piranha 3D (2010) is Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, and Paul Scheer. Thrown in are a few newbies that can hold their own Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, and from 30 Rock (2006) fame, Katrina Bowden. The former graces the screen a bit better than the latter, as Katrina has a line, “Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina”. Wow, I mean…Wow! David Koechner plays the slime ball park owner and does a nice job at that, and many cameos like Gary Busey and Clu Gulager. But otherwise, the other actors are either on screen for a second before being eaten, or just there for eye candy. For which there is plen-T.

SCARES/SCARY Scares - A couple parts have a very well-placed scare. Good job. Scary - Like the first Piranha 3D (2010), not scary at all, unless you are scared of underwater unknowns.

GORE SCORE This one gets an 7.5 out of 10. Not as bloody as Piranha 3D (2010), but still a good score for graphic genital gore, head severed by flag rope, floating body parts, and scenes involving a trident - apropos.

BODY COUNT 4 (plus a full waterpark of people 30-40)

BOOBY COUNT 32

HORROR FANS If you’re looking for a true horror movie from a movie titled Piranha 3DD (pronounced three double dee), you cray cray. Go elsewhere.

B-HORROR FANS Not a B-horror at all, but a very campy, corny romp with some funny scenes and bloody gore. Story not as deep as the first, but a lot cheesier, so worth a dip.

SEE IT Netflix - DVD only, No streaming Amazon - Buy on Blu-ray, DVD and Instant. YouTube - Buy or clips.

Check out the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBvMWj4O-6I

Watch a short clip (a la Nightmare on Elm Street): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9pOPdr8NDc

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Day 3 - PIRANHA 3D (2010)

“There’s something in the water.”

PLOT An accidental shift in the sea floor releases prehistoric piranha that terrorize a small town’s Spring Break extravaganza.                                                             

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) Here we have another remake that is not the same storyline as the original, but really tries to channel the 80s B-horror essence. It definitely comes through and gives an entertaining cheese-fest. Not only that, but it is in 3-D. Another aspect that hit big during the 80s. It has many of the B-horror formula: nubile teens, oblivious characters, lots of over-the-top gore, nudity, and the unstoppable killer. The difference is 80s “B” predominantly had an antagonist that is human. Whereas here, the killer is an animal. This works too, but even as the acting can be portrayed similarly, the reacting cannot. The killer here only does one thing-which means there is no backstory, no reveal, no possible changes or emoting or response. Just, it is what it is. As I said, it still works, but leaves a lot to the imagination being the storyline isn’t as dynamic. I had fun watching it, and would watch it again because it does have the campy overtone. So, if I had to choose between this and the original, I’d go with this updated version. Overall, I’d give it 7 slices out of 10.

ACTING The acting is good. There aren’t many newbie actors in this film and it shows. The script is pretty minimal, so we don’t get to involved with any of the characters. But beyond that, the actors do a satisfying job with what they have. Elisabeth Shue, Jerry O’Connell, Richard Dreyfus, Adam Scott, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, and many cameos.

SCARES/SCARY SCARES - Most are music provoked and happen when it gets quiet, then BAM - jump scare. SCARY - Anything under the water is scary to me. So, if creatures under the water is scary to you, then this one has its moments.

GORE SCORE This one gets an 8.5 out of 10. Multiple closeups of fish eating people and parts, a broken cable splits a girl in half as she slowly separates in two, a girl is lifted out of the water only to find she has been eaten in half, scalped by a boat propeller, and a lot more.

BODY COUNT 4, plus a whole lake of partying victims (40-50 extra)

BOOBY COUNT 13

HORROR FANS Has some humorous aspects, so not a true horror…but a fun horror-comedy.

B-HORROR FANS You’ll see a lot of the “B” pieces, but not all. Definitely worth a look.

SEE IT Netflix - DVD only, No streaming Amazon - Buy on Blu-ray, DVD and Instant. YouTube - Full movie.

Check out the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdMO51GaTMs

Watch a short “Making Of” video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5BQ5UTStYo

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Day 2 - LOST AFTER DARK (2015)

“And you thought the '80s were dead ...”

PLOT Friends sneak out of their school dance, steal a school bus and go on a joyride. It’s not until the bus breaks down that they realize they are being stalked by a maniac who lives down the road.

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) This movie does an awesome job at recreating the visuals and feel of an 80s flick. Everything from the clothes, makeup, props, acting, down to the 80s male mustache and afro with a pick in it. The major problem with this movie is it starts out boring. A lot of dialog, a lot of character development, but very little of the good stuff - stuff that puts this movie in the category of horror, let alone B-horror. If this were made for TV and intertwined with commercials, it would make more sense. It’s not until 49 minutes into this 85 minute movie that the pacing picks up. At this mark, the movie begins to show signs of a horror movie. The killer, who looks just like Rob Zombie, is a cannibal who stalks these friends that have broken down near his home. He is relentless and keeps coming back for more. Some things I liked, that are a bit different from other horror is: The back story isn’t explained until the last couple minutes of the film; there is a “scene missing” reel in the middle of the movie, as if you were watching it in the theater; and I always like a quick follow-up scene after the credits. Overall, I’d give it 6.5 slices out of 10.

ACTING The acting is decent. Enough to not be comical, which means it is lacking being B-horror has lines that ARE comical when they’re not meant to be. Robert “Terminator 2” Patrick does a great job as the school principal who witnesses the students take the bus and searches for them. Some of his lines are worth watching. “I was in the 'nam you sick fuck and I've got chunks of guys like you in my stool.”

SCARES/SCARY SCARES - A few that are surprising, but most are obvious. SCARY - Not really. Tries to be with corny props and the ‘in the woods’ setting. But falls short.

GORE SCORE This one gets a 5 out of 10. Axe in the stomach, body cut in half, augured in the back, glass shard in the eye. Could have shown more.

BODY COUNT 10

BOOBY COUNT 0

HORROR FANS If you can make it past the beginning, you’ll like it.

B-HORROR FANS If you can make it past the beginning, you may still be a little disappointed.

SEE IT Netflix - DVD only, No streaming Amazon - Buy on Blu-ray, DVD and Instant. YouTube - Buy, or clips only.

Check out the R-rated trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hF6Hy7oHpJ8

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Day 1 - BLOOD NIGHT: THE LEGEND OF MARY HATCHET (2009)

“Will you make It through the night?”

PLOT A group of small town teens celebrate a legendary murderer, Mary Hatchet, by having parties, having a drink, and having sex. What they don’t know is she has returned to celebrate with them - and paint the town red.

REVIEW (spoiler alert**) Starting off with the traditional backstory, this one is played out rather than told later on in the film. We are introduced to little Mary Hatchet who suddenly kills her mom and dad. Fast forward 11 years and Mary is in a mental hospital where she is raped by a night guard, whose line of "wanna goo-goo ga-ga daddy's lollipop?" is quite disturbing. Months later she gives birth, but loses the baby and winds up killing just about everyone in the hospital before escaping and being shot by the police. Naked btw. Is she dead? Did her baby actually die? These are explained throughout as we again fast forward about 20 years and find out Mary suffered from a ailment called Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder. Basically becomes violent and kills during her period. <insert joke here>  The town now celebrates Blood Night (get it?) and Mary’s rampage, which just gives a nice setting for the killings to start all back up. Nice story, which brings in a few odd, but different details. Gore is pretty good in this one. Many blood lettings are done off-screen, but most are on. And when they’re on, they’re on. Gorgeous Scream Queen, Danielle Harris and long-time horror vet, Bill Moseley star (and produce) in this one and give nice, but short performances. I would have liked to see more of both. The shots and direction are spot on most of the time. Attention to detail is at an all time high throughout. For example, red blood splattered onto white milk is great avant-garde cinema. The movie seems to be cooked as a legit horror movie, but topped with a few B-horror elements. Well done. A true period piece. <pun intended>                                                            

ACTING Being it teeters on the verge of true horror and B-horror, the acting is more believable than others. The young ensemble does a good job at staying with the theme when needed, as well as pushing forward as their characters would. And hey, Danielle Harris is great. A Scream Queen in her own right, she delivers.

SCARES/SCARY SCARES - Mostly jump scares, some good physical scares, some music cue scares. SCARY - The lighting and shots are done well to achieve a scary effect, but a naked woman and Danielle Harris are the opposite of scary, in my book.

GORE SCORE This one gets a 7 out of 10. The 7 is for close up gore featuring scissors to the eye, hatcheting off a mouth, a face sliced in half then slowly sliding off (above) and what I like to call a PEZ moment…this means a throat is slit and the head quickly tilts completely backward. And of course lots of blood, hence Blood Night.

BODY COUNT 16, plus a whole hospital floor of patients and staff (maybe 8-12 more)

BOOBY COUNT 6

HORROR FANS Sure. It has all the elements of a made for cable horror film, with some B-elements lightly sprinkled in.

B-HORROR FANS It isn’t as cheesy as most B-horrors can be, but it’s worth it.

SEE IT NETFLIX - No DVD, No streaming. AMAZON - Buy on Blu-ray, DVD and Instant. YOUTUBE - Buy, or clips only.

Check out the R-rated trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDDUjEdNDx0

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Be sure to listen to the Q&A with director, Jim Wynorski. (above)

Day 31 - HARD TO DIE (1990) aka Sorority House Massacre 3

PLOT: (SPOILER ALERT)

 Five girls working late doing lingerie inventory in a high rise building are being killed off by a murderer with a hook. REVIEW: Yes, yes, yes. Here we have a wonderful B-horror film with all the right pieces. HARD TO DIE (aka SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE III) is the third installment to the Sorority series. This one takes place in a high rise building instead of the normal sorority house, but don’t worry, it still offers the same caliber of acting, clothing, scares, blood and boobs. This is the perfect follow up to SHM 2, which was also directed by Jim Wynorski. Not only does it give you exactly what you want like the other two films, but by changing the venue, it breaks up the scenery and monotony of past locations. And this one has guns. Yes, that’s right, large artillery guns. Girls in lingerie, possessed by demonic souls of killers, wielding large machine guns. I mean, come on, this says B all the way. I would have liked to see a little more gore, but the rest of the movie makes up for it. Jim Wynorski does not let you down. What better way to finish off the month of October than with this classic final installment of the trilogy.  (Jim Wynorski cameo below)

ACTING: 
 Acting is exactly what you expect with the Sorority House movies. It is campy and comical and frightening and lovely all at the same time.

SCARES and SCARY:

 Scares - Some musically-induced jump scares…with Orville Ketchum at the helm. Scary - If lightning or lingerie scares you, then this one is scare-eee.

GORE SCORE:

 This one gets a 4 out of 10. As I said, not much gore is seen. But there are multiple times where the blood squirts and continues to squirt, just way overdone. Great! Score is for lots os squirting blood, a bloody body hanging from the elevator, bullet holes in bodies and blood-soaked people throughout.

BODY COUNT: 7

FOR HORROR FANS:

 I see this film not living up to a true horror fan's standards.

FOR B-HORROR FANS: If you’re a B-horror fan and don’t already own this, shame on you. (booby-count of 14) 


 WHERE CAN I SEE IT:

 YouTube has it in its entirety. Amazon has it to buy on DVD.

Check out the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8fUEaxBgxU

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Day 30 - STREET TRASH (1987)

“If you've never seen a melt movie before.... be prepared!”

PLOT: (SPOILER ALERT)

 A junkyard in the city is overrun by bums who happen to get their hands on a 40-year old alcohol that turns them into sludge. REVIEW: As movies go, this one has a very different blueprint. A unique story and presentation as well, this movie has a killer that is neither human nor animal. It reveals the villain in all of us by revealing the wrongs of everyday people, bums, store owners, etc and showing how they get their just desserts. In short, a large case of old alcohol is found hidden in the wall of a store. The owner decides to sell it to the vagrants in the neighborhood. As they drink it, they begin to liquify into a beautiful array of colorful goo. There isn’t much blood, but in lieu of the makeup and SPFX artists went with rainbow colored slime to pour out of and explode from the bodies. It takes some of the violent nature out of it and introduces an artistic modality. Reminding me a lot of The Toxic Avenger (1984), this movie takes liberties that others normally do not and gets away with it clean and easy…well, not really that clean.  

ACTING: 
 Acting has it’s ups and downs in this one. This one has a lot of actors playing bums which doesn’t give many opportunities for great acting. Some of the actors play out like a caricature. Overdone and theatrical. Others, like the main bum, are pretty good with adhering to their role.

SCARES and SCARY:

 Scares - None. Scary - If melting scares you, watch out.

GORE SCORE:

 This one gets a 8 out of 10. Lots of gore. Very creative as instead of crimson blood throughout, the oozy substance that comes from the bodies are all vivid blues, yellows, greens and purples. Score is for multiple melting people, gobs of flesh-like fluid, severed penis, feet and hands separated from body, colorful vomit and blood and a person who explodes.

BODY COUNT: 8

FOR HORROR FANS:

 Not your cup of colorful tea.

FOR B-HORROR FANS: A viscous cult classic, see it. (booby-count of 6) 


 WHERE CAN I SEE IT:

 YouTube has it in its entirety. Netflix has it for rent on DVD. Amazon has it to buy on DVD and Blu-ray.

Check out the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ryg9KYXXq0U

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Day 29 - INTRUDER (1989) **DUOVIEW**

“If this one does not scare you, you're already dead!”

PLOT: (SPOILER ALERT)

 Late night workers at a supermarket are terrorized by an unknown killer who is in the store with them. REVIEW: B-horror Dude I must admit, this movie was one that I was very excited about because I did not remember any of it being the last time I watched it was over 20 years ago. Seeing names like Sam Raimi, Bruce Campbell, and Greg Nicotero that were involved in this movie got me stoked. After watching it, I was not let down. Now being I like the cheesier types of horror, aka B-horror, doesn’t mean I don’t like the more straight forward scary flicks. I would have to say this one was less B and more just scary. First let’s start with the setting - a dinky grocery in the middle of nowhere. And in actuality, a real grocery store was used. Even cooler. Because the movie takes place in one location, makes it even more scary as well as more audience involvement. Gore was very good because they didn’t use it a lot, but when they did, wow, it was very effective. The movie was filled with clichés on purpose. Almost making fun of itself, it used these scenarios to really put the viewer on edge to feel uneasy. The shots were very cool. They were very creative and useful to capture so many different types of shots to convey mood and/or sensibility. Some examples are: wide bird’s eye of entire store, many reflective shots, inside the telephone seeing out, and the floor. Yes, the viewer felt as if they were the floor, seeing straight up as someone swept right over you. Great use of all the resources and many more that I want to be a surprise when you see it. Brilliantly executed (no pun intended) and even with the corny parts, kept on the original horror side. Definitely recommend. Ms. Straight-Lace Let me just start out by saying I don't like most B-horror. I like creepy and I like campy, and INTRUDER has a little of both. This was a slow-building, dynamic, well-made film. I would even go so far as to call it a little artsy. Even though Scott Spiegel is the director, there seems to be a lot of Sam Raimi influence throughout. The shots, for example, created that characteristic sense of unease and uncomfortable closeness. It's worth watching just to study some of the shots. I like that instead of coming in immediately with violence and gore, the film takes its time building up suspense, which I can definitely appreciate. If anything, it may be a little slow to build up. But I think it's a great technique in a horror movie to start with something realistic, relatable, and dangerous, like a stalker ex-boyfriend, before introducing something more sinister. You start to believe anything can happen, and are more willing to believe it when disturbing things actually do happen. The film also does a good job of keeping the viewer in suspense by not letting on who the killer is.  

ACTING: 
 B-horror Dude I have nothing too terrible to say about the acting. The actors play their roles very well. Even the whimsical parts (e.g. when the killer knocks over some grocery items and takes time to pick them back up) Ms. Straight-Lace For a B-horror movie, the acting was very good. There were a lot of times where each actor was by him/herself, but the parts where they were interacting felt believable and not overdone - except in a few instances where I think the intention was to overdo it for comedic effect. Nice cameo by Bruce Campbell at the end.

SCARES and SCARY:

 B-horror Dude Scares - Some nice ‘turn-around’ scares and camera whips. Scary - Some parts. Good creepy moments looking down the aisles and in the storage rooms. Ms. Straight-Lace Scares - Lots of false scares. Lots of real scares. I jumped when the killer pops out of the cereal boxes. Scary - There’s an overall feeling of scary throughout the movie. Even in the beginning when there are few scares.

GORE SCORE:

 B-horror Dude This one gets a 7 out of 10. KNB Efx group provided the gore for this one. There aren’t many gore scenes, but the ones there are graphic. Score is for face plant into metal spike, butcher knife in the head, head hydraulic crush, meat cleaver to the hand and A+ for the infamous, uncut bandsaw head cut in half. Ms. Straight-Lace A 5 out of 10. Each kill has more gore than the next.

BODY COUNT: 7

FOR HORROR FANS:

 B-horror Dude I would say yes. Little creepy, little scary, pretty good. Ms. Straight-Lace It's definitely not mainstream, but if you want some scares, some blood, possibly some nightmares, it's worth a watch. There are a lot of twisted ways someone can die in a supermarket and I think this movie covers them all.

FOR B-HORROR FANS: B-horror Dude Remember, it’s not a full B horror, but it has enough qualities to be good. Try it. (booby-count of 0) Ms. Straight-Lace This film did some cool things with a small budget ($130,000), which I think makes it worth a watch. 


 WHERE CAN I SEE IT:

 YouTube has in its entirety. Amazon has it to buy on DVD, Blu-ray and Instant.

Check out the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViB7JAEb1YE

Wanna see a gore scene? (Warning: may be too intense) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCjsHXSjlHA

[bhorror]

Day 28 - JACK FROST (1997)

“ He's Chillin' and Killin' ”

PLOT: (SPOILER ALERT)

 Jack Frost is a serial killer on his way to be executed. On a snowy night, the prison truck collides with a chemical truck and melts Jack into the snow where he becomes a killer snowman out for revenge against the sheriff who initially caught him. REVIEW: Already a holiday classic, this feature film is constantly confused with the Michael Keaton movie of the same name. Although, they are both very, very different from each other. This one has a cult following and right from the start I can see why. Very creative as the credits are introduced through ornaments on the tree and not in the common ‘text on screen’ way. As we are introduced to Jack Frost, you can immediately get a sense of him, his comedy, the movie and how you will like it or dislike it. I have shown this movie to a lot of people and all but one loved it. Now, you may be that one who despises it, but give it a try. The editing and pace of the movie is very clean and integral. The characters are set up equally as nice and the script is the last piece of the puzzle to make it happen. Yes, it’s a horromedy, but you know that going into it. B-movie definitely, but lacking in some of the features normally seen. It looks as if this could have been made for a cable channel like syfy or the like which would be why the gore, adult language and nudity are not present. But the subject matter and implementation are really what brings this one home. The killer snowman has a great sense of humor and comedic timing. The seriousness played in this film only makes the comedy better. When I first rented this back in the 90s, I didn’t know what to expect being I rent just about anything along these lines. But was I glad I did because it is these gems that let you know diamonds in the rough do exist. 

ACTING: 
 Most of the actors in this are not the locals in town like in some B-horror films I have seen this month. They are pretty good. Again, we’re not talking scar worthy, but believable for the movie. The sheriff and Jack Frost himself are the best to watch. And hey, Shannon Elizabeth’s before American Pie.

SCARES and SCARY:

 Scares - Loud music/score at times. Scary - Not in the least.

GORE SCORE:

 This one gets a 4 out of 10. There really isn’t any. There are some makeup effects and blood, but no true-on gore. Score is for frozen dead person, bloody skeleton, bloody snow, bloody icicle in body, shards of broken ornament in face and throat bulge.

BODY COUNT: 12

FOR HORROR FANS:

 It has zero horror, but a lot of comedy. You may like it.

FOR B-HORROR FANS: A true holiday classic. Own it. (booby-count of 0) 


 WHERE CAN I SEE IT:

 YouTube has it in its entirety. Netflix has it for rent on DVD and Instant. Amazon has it to buy on DVD.

Check out the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ev0NkYfkgYE