bi-mess-writer

[bi-mess-writer]

[bi-mess-writer]

you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly

[bi-mess-writer]

Also my entire life, nothing and I mean NOTHING makes me hate my body more than when someone comments on how “good” I look when I lose weight. Because 9/10 times it’s weight I’ve lost in an unhealthy way. Like after wisdom teeth surgery my mom told me to “take advantage of the opportunity” and not gain back the weight...I couldn’t eat solid food for a MONTH. The same thing when I got the stomach flu and get vomiting. Or when I came home for thanksgiving after spending the past week eating only a bowl of fruit that I’d immediately remove from my system. Stop commenting on people’s bodies and acting like their sudden weight loss is a fucking victory or an improvement because sometimes it’s not.

[bi-mess-writer]

the fact that a lot of people have made a big deal about adele losing weight is kinda scary tbh because the message i get is: skinny is always better than fat and no one cares if someone that's not skinny is comfortable with the way they are, because skinny is beautiful and more valid.

I'm definitely not skinny, and if i ever lose weight i don't want people to tell me stuff like "you look so much better now!" or "wow! you've lost so much weight, you look pretty" or anything like that because my current fat self is as valid and important as the hypothetical skinny me.

it honestly makes me sick.

[bi-mess-writer]

Seriously though, going back to the adele thing. Ive seen so many people be like “we’re just happy for her for realising a goal of hers” or “we’re just happy she’s confident now that she’s lost weight” etc, like no. You don’t know what her relationship to her body is like, you dont know why she lost weight, you dont know what her goals are, etc. You making any type of comment on her body is innapropriate, even if its just “congratulating her”.

And just in general, dont make unwarranted comments about people’s weight in general, even if its positive. Like body weight and loss has so many societal and psychological implications, as well as health implications, that its a really loaded comment to make. Unless you know exactly how that person would feel about a comment like that, which you probably don’t, then just dont mention it. One time a girl i was kind of friends with told me “omg have you lost weight? You look great.” I considered never speaking to her again, because that felt hugely innapropriate to me. I was fine with my weight and didnt even know if i had lost weight, and in fact made a conscious effort not to tie my self confidence and body image to it, so her saying that felt like a slap in the face. It felt like she was saying “you should care about these things, even if you know it would be unhealthy for you”. Another time, a friend of mine said that probably my aesthetic goal in life was jessica jones, because she wore all black like me at the time, had big blue eyes like me, pale skin like me, and was skinny. I had never expressed to her the want to be skinny, and in fact didnt have that want, even though i felt less confident than i do now. Again, this felt like a slap in the face. I can only imagine what comments like that must feel like to people who actually have eating disorders or suffer from dysmorphia, or those who’s body weight is tied to health issues they have.

Never comment on someone’s body unprompted, and never assume you know what a person’s attitude towards their body or the culture around bodyweight in general is.

[bi-mess-writer]

Not gonna lie, seeing the fat community losing another positive role model is just really hard for me as a fat person. Adele is 100% no less of a person for the changes in her body, and it’s also so difficult for me to see so many people only love and value her now as a person because she’s physically changed for society’s idea of “better.”

It’s been really triggering for me to see these comments and not immediately want to dive into my ED and restrict more or do other ED behaviors more. I’m so sad, and so tired of being viewed as less than and also viewing myself as less than just because I’m a person who has more body fat than the “average” person.

Can we please stop treating bodies positively or negatively based on size? Every body, EVERY SINGLE BODY, is worthy of love, nutrition, and positive attention regardless of size.

[bi-mess-writer]

no offense but the soft uncertain kiss followed by a pause where the people look each other in the eyes and then fucking pull eachother back into a more passionate kiss will always be the most soul destroying trope , catch me lying on the fucking ground sobbing and rewatching The Scene™✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼

[bi-mess-writer]

[bi-mess-writer]

I wished more people understood that fitness culture and clean eating have caused the normalization of eating disorders. It’s way easier to hide an ED when you are under the idea that you’re just being healthy, it’s harder to seek help when you don’t believe that you might be sick because you still eat, it’s harder for your loved ones to notice there is something wrong when behaviors like this are widely celebrated. Eating disorders are diseases, they can be fatal, they are not a lifestyle and any form of them should be treated and not swept under the rug under the idea that those behaviors are the ultimate goal.

[bi-mess-writer]

Does anybody else feel anxious in public because you think people are thinking that you're too fat and ugly to be out and about, enjoying life, eating at a restaurant etc.? (The ED voice sucks) .... I felt like this the other day when I saw myself in the reflection of a shop window. But I have been trying to fight this voice by saying to myself "you deserve to live life to the full no matter how you look, and other people are probably too caught up thinking about themselves."

[bi-mess-writer]

"Body positivity is telling people to take care of themselves and love their bodies whilst they do. Want to know why? Because self-hate breeds eating disorders. Get educated."

- me @ every idiot who tries to tell someone that they should hate their body

[bi-mess-writer]

I don’t mean to sound bitter but it really feels like every single piece of information on eating disorders is geared towards people who are below a healthy weight and they’re all like “your mind is lying to you! you’re not actually fat!” like ok… but me and a whole bunch of other fat people with restrictive eating disorders are fat and our minds are not lying to us about that. 

[bi-mess-writer]

not 👏 all 👏  people 👏 with 👏 eating 👏 disorders 👏 are 👏 underweight 👏

[bi-mess-writer]

”Hating our bodies is something that we learn, and it sure as hell is something that we can unlearn.”

- Megan Jayne Crabbe

[bi-mess-writer]

How to college:

drink coffee

cry

[bi-mess-writer]

me when the new semester starts: at last i have structured time again and responsibilities and deadlines to motivate me to be productive and make plans for the future. this term is gonna be great, i just know it!

me literally 2 days later:

[bi-mess-writer]

Liberal Arts (2012) dir. Josh Radnor