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While Germany ends the ban on "advertising" (I.e. information about the service) abortions, the U.S. overturns the national right to abortions. On the same day.
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NOOO NOT AGAIN NOT MY TINY HEAAAAART 😭😭😭😭😭
Stolen Time - A Thomas Raggi Story || Chapter Eight
Pairings: Thomas Raggi x Fem! Reader
Description: Thomas had one big love in his life and it all went to hell for a reason that he could never understand. Almost a decade later, the truth starts to unfold as he learns what really happened.
Words: 2.6k
A/N: Not going to lie, it's an emotional one <3
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Thomas felt so much. His usual energetic self was still there but now, now there was so much more going on. He thought of Theo, Theo who had lost so much and whom he’d grown to love so deeply over the recent past. Theo, who he wanted to protect at all costs.
Today was going to be a big day for everyone.
He had made arrangements with his parents and with Theo to take Theo to meet them - an event that he was so happy about and that he couldn’t wait to see.
Everything would be alright. He would make sure of it. For Theo’s sake, for yours, for his own.
**
Victoria woke up and wanted to scream.
Today was going to be a big day for everyone, yes, but especially big for her.
Angie had agreed to go on a date with her.
Angie!!! This beautiful angel of a woman had agreed to go on a date with her!
Vic ran into the shower still half asleep, eager to get ready and be out of the house early enough so that there would be no way for her to be late.
She couldn’t blow this. Not when her future was at stake.
**
Angie fussed with the buttons of her shirt and looked in the mirror. She was on her second cup of coffee and she had made Theo breakfast before she even started working on getting ready for the date.
She was going on a date.
Her of all people.
Victoria had asked her out on a date.
“Are you okay?” Theo asked between bites of her sandwich as they watched their aunt fussing with the buttons.
“Yes, I am. How are you feeling?” Angie was equally as worried about the date as she was about Theo and the day that they were meant to have. Angie knew that Thomas wouldn’t blow them off but she was still worried because those were new people and she didn’t want to see Theo getting hurt.
“I am excited. Papà promised that we would go to look at furniture for my room too.”
“Will you move out?” Angie panicked for a second. She and Theo hadn’t lived together for so long but Theo was very important to her and she didn’t want to lose them.
“No, I don’t think so but I will have a room there too!”
Angie smiled, relief filling her.
“You won’t lose me, Angie.” Theo promised their aunt and went to hug her. “I love you very much.”
“I love you very much too, Theo.” Angie smiled and hugged them back.
“Can I bring an outfit change for you?” Theo asked, not knowing how to say that they hated the outfit that their aunt was in, without offending her feelings.
Angie nodded, her curiosity piqued.
Theo went into Angie’s room and dug out a dress Angie had forgotten about. A dress she had bought on her last shopping trip with you. It was mid length, white with lilac flowers on it and short puffy sleeves.
“I think this will be great.” Theo looked so proud of themselves.
“I think so too.” Angie smiled and went to get it ready for wearing.
**
Thomas smiled when he heard the noise outside his door. To his surprise, Vic was even earlier than he expected.
"Why are you not ready to go? We need to go!" Vic clapped her hands. "We are not going to disappoint them, so get a move on or I will drag your ass outside myself, Thomas!"
Thomas laughed and went to the kitchen to put away his cup of coffee before finishing dressing up.
"You look lovely, by the way." Thomas complimented Vic who was fussing in front of the mirror.
Victoria stopped and looked at him. He had put on a pair of black denim shorts and was picking out his shirt.
"I like her a lot, Thom. I like her smile, the way she talks, her laughter, and how she treats everyone. I like her and I don't want to mess up."
"We all mess up but as long as you talk it through it will be okay."
Vic smiled again and the two of them left Thomas' house minutes later.
"I want to buy her flowers." Vic announced. "Angie deserves to get all the flowers.
"We are turning their apartment into a flower shop." Thomas chuckled and pulled up in front of the flower shop. For a moment, he thought about visiting you but he decided he would, once everything with Theo went smoothly.
"They love flowers." Vic insisted.
Somehow, Thomas ended up carrying all the flowers to Angie and Theo's apartment and Vic wrestled the bouquet of peonies out of his grip once she rang the doorbell.
"Papà!" Theo ran past Vic and straight to Thomas, who leaned down to hold them.
"Hi, my little sunflower." Thomas smiled at them. "I've missed you."
Theo grinned and hugged him even tighter. "I missed you too, papà."
"All of you, please come in." Angie showed up at the door and Vic's knees threatened to give in.
"Ciao, bella." Vic had an expression on her face that Thomas wished he could photograph but he suspected that it would get him punched in the face.
"Ciao." Angie's expression mirrored Vic's.
"You look like the heart-eyes emoji." Theo pointed out, walking past her aunt to put the flowers in the vase. Thomas laughed, the bluntness of his child reminding him of you.
Both Angie and Vic blushed. Thomas laughed, happy for his sister and for yours.
“Call me if you need anything, okay?” Angie leaned over to Theo while Thomas waited at the door.
“Yes, you have fun!” Theo hugged their aunt. Thomas hugged Victoria and whispered to her “Have fun” before him and Theo left the apartment.
**
Theo sat in the backseat of Thomas’ car. He had put effort into cleaning both his car and the apartment because it was nicer for him and because he didn’t want to scare Theo away with his chaos.
“How are you feeling?” He asked Theo once he was in the driver's seat, sure that they were safely strapped in the back.
“I am okay, I am a bit tired but I am also excited.” Theo fidgeted with their necklace and Thomas’ heart hurt.
“We can rest after lunch, if you want.” Thomas suggested. “My parents are very excited to meet you.”
“I am very excited to meet them too, papà. Can we buy them flowers?” Theo asked, wanting to be polite. They had wanted to bring something over for their grandparents but didn’t know what they could get so asking Thomas was the way to go. Angie had been otherwise busy anyway.
“We can buy them flowers, yes.” He beamed. At this point, he was considering opening a flower shop.
And so they stopped and greeted the now friendly flower shop seller and bought flowers from where he’d been buying all the flowers.
“Pick anything you want, little one.” Thomas told Theo as they went wild and started piling flowers on the counter. The seller smiled at him.
“Special occasion?”
“Very much so. Can you have some lilies ready for later, I’ll stop by and get them probably later this afternoon.” Thomas requested as the seller started putting together the intricate bouquet of flowers that Theo had picked.
“Lilies? Will you visit mamma?” Theo looked at Thomas.
“Yes, I want to tell her how our day went.” Thomas put his hand on Theo’s shoulder.
“May I come with you?”
“Of course, Theo.” Thomas promised and paid for the bouquets before carrying the one intended for his mother to the car. Theo got in and once they were buckled, Thomas gave them the flowers and sat in the driver’s seat.
“Do you miss mamma?” Theo asked, breaking the silence.
“Every day, Theo. I wish she and I had more time together and I wish I had been there since the beginning.” Thomas spoke and tried to remain calm behind the wheel. The drive over to his parents wasn’t a long one but he didn’t dare put Theo in any risk.
“I miss mamma too.” Theo spoke quietly. “I think she would be happy that you’re here now.”
“I think so too.” Thomas smiled and minutes later parked the car in front of his parents’ house.
He got out of the car and then helped Theo out only to hold their hand as they walked up the stairs to his parents’ home. He rang the doorbell and didn’t let go of Theo’s hand, sensing their anxiety in the little shake of the grip on the flowers.
His mamma opened the door and beamed at them.
“Ciao, amori miei.” She kissed Thomas’ cheek before kneeling to be at eye level with Theo. “Hi.”
“Ciao.” Theo beamed at her nonna and handed her the flowers. “These are for you.”
“Thank you, my little love.” Thomas saw the tears in Theo’s eyes and wanted to cry too as his mother embraced his child. Theo started crying too and clung to her too.
Thomas felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over to see his dad all teared up too.
“Ciao, bambina.” His papa also leaned and opened his arms for an embrace. Theo gave him a shy smile before hugging him too.
The four of them made their way over to the living room and Thomas saw that Theo was slowly relaxing, even if they stayed close to him. His parents were patient and they asked questions but when they saw that Theo wasn’t comfortable, they didn’t push them, for fear of losing them again. Losing them just as they had met her.
“Would you like to keep me company as I set the table, bambina?” Thomas’ mum asked Theo. Theo nodded and got up from the sofa where they had been sitting with Thomas and followed their nonna out to the kitchen.
“Theo is a miracle.” Thomas’ papa looked at him.
“They are.”
“I am proud of you for stepping up and I am sorry it all happened this way.”
“I am sorry it happened this way too, I wish I had more time with them both but I am here for Theo and I will make sure that their life is a happy one.”
**
Angie couldn’t keep her eyes off Vic. Vic who was dressed in flared jeans and had a leopard bralette on. Vic, who was the most beautiful person alive.
Vic.
“What are we making? Or did you change your mind and we should go out?” Vic spoke first, breaking Angie’s trance on her lips. Angie flushed.
“I thought we could make pasta and sit outside in the sun. Theo and I cleaned the balcony and made it a lot nicer so we can have lunch there.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Vic smiled at Angie. “Tell me what to do so I am not in your way and I don’t set the kitchen on fire.”
Angie laughed and Vic’s heart soared. She wanted to keep making her laugh, she wanted to kiss her so badly and make sure that she smiled and laughed more than she ever had in her life.
Angie gave Vic the plates and cutlery for her to set outside and then had her lay out everything so she could cook. Watching Vic like this, it made Angie long, it made her hope for a happier future.
“What’s on your mind?” Vic asked then cringed. “Ugh, I sound like a Facebook status.”
Angie laughed again.
“I am thinking about how this is the first time in a while that I've felt hopeful.” Angie admitted. “Since Y/N’s death, and even before that, I have been in a flight or fight mode and I am ready to get out of this state and to live a happier life.”
“I am so proud of you.” Vic went to kiss her cheek. Angie blushed.
The two spoke about anything and everything while the food cooked and Vic caught herself smiling so much, she was sure that it would leave a trace on her face. Because happiness always does.
**
Thomas and Theo walked down to the car with their parents and Theo was all smiles as she hugged her grandparents.
“Promise to bring Theo over again soon. And Angie is more than welcome to join us too.” Thomas’ mamma looked at him.
“I promise, mamma. As soon as we can. And you can visit us too!”
“Yes, nonna. We will see each other soon.” It was the first time Theo said that word and Thomas saw the instantaneous effect it had on his mother. She hugged Theo again and he saw the tears roll down her face.
“I love you, little one. Be safe and I will see you soon.” She kissed Theo’s forehead and closed the car door after.
Thomas set out on the road and glanced in the mirror to Theo who looked happy but also had a look on their face he didn’t quite understand.
“How are you feeling, Theo?”
“I am okay, papà. Happy. Nonna and nonno are very kind, aren’t they?”
“Yes, they are. You will have the chance to get to know them soon enough.” Thomas promised. He knew that his parents would help him take care of Theo and that if it were up to them, Theo would be the happiest child in the Universe.
“Grazie, papà. We are going to see mamma, yes?”
“I promised, so yes.” Thomas drove back to the florist and grabbed the bouquet that he had ordered, passing it again to Theo before driving to the cemetery.
The two of them walked hand in hand towards your resting place, Thomas’ heart growing more sorrowful and heavy with each step. The bouquet was a mix of pink and white lilies, picked out by Theo and himself, symbolising the sorrow and pain, as well as the love that they still felt.
Theo laid down the flowers and sat down on the ground, and Thomas stood close by, making sure no one disturbed them. He lit a cigarette.
“Ciao mamma.” Theo spoke not too loud, but Thomas heard them and the words shattered his heart. He inhaled deeply.
“Mamma, today I met my grandparents and we had a lot of fun.” Theo kept talking. “And Angie is on a date with Vic. I made her wear the dress that you had her buy with the lilac details. She is so beautiful, mamma. Papa brings me sunflowers and calls me his little sunflower and it’s really nice.” Thomas wanted to sob. He wished this wasn’t happening, he wished that he could turn back time and protect you both but he promised that he would make sure that at least he would give Theo a good life. A happy life.
“Ciao, tesorina.” Thomas knelt when he put out the cigarette. He rested his hand on Theo’s shoulder. “We missed you today but our little sunflower is good. Theo is thriving and Angie will be okay. I wish things were different. I miss you. But rest, I’ve got them.”
Theo turned around and hugged Thomas, making him fall over to the ground. He held the child closely and felt his shirt get wet and when Theo pulled away, he saw the tears on their face.
“I miss her too, little one.” He carefully wiped their face, tears now rolling down his face. This wasn’t how he imagined you two having a family. You were meant to be there and you weren’t.
Theo didn’t say anything and went back to hugging him, the two of them holding on to each other in their grief, in their love, in their hope.
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Dang it Allie
Home is Where the Heart is - A Damiano David Story || Chapter Nineteen
Pairings: Damiano David x Reader
Warnings: Angst
Description: Damiano’s heart gets broken but he accepts his fate because the happiness of the love of his life means more to him than anything. He gives her space to stay or leave, even if it kills him. And she makes the choice to leave because the secret that she is keeping will make him grow resentful in the long run and she will end up losing him anyway.
Words: 2.3k
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Three months later
Damiano woke up in a room full of sunshine. The bed was soft, the covers provided him with just the right amount of weight. The hug that he needed. The two cats were snuggled up on one side of the bed.
He looked over to the baby monitor and saw his son still asleep. The clock on the bedside table showed that it was barely seven o'clock and he could go back to sleep.
But should he? This was a quiet moment, one he had all for himself.
The new apartment was everything the old one wasn't- first and foremost- haunted. Haunted by pain, anger, sadness, heartbreak. Haunted by promises that had been broken time and time again.
Dante pulled his toy closer and the simple gesture made Dami smile.
Deep down, he knew that everything would be alright.
The singer reached for his phone.
There were several texts from Vic and Ethan, a goodnight text from Eli and a text from his mama reminding him how important he and Dante were for her.
He rolled out of bed and walked over to the balcony where he lit one of the abandoned cigarettes from his pack. He set the monitor on the little table and opened the journal.
One day and I know this for certain, we will be okay, Dante.
One day,you might laugh and say "but papa, how did you know?"
I know because with every passing day life gets easier. I know, because there is no love in this world like the love I have for you, my angel. I know, because you are my biggest gift and my greatest blessing. I know because I will never leave you, my child.
Oh, how I hope that the joy and kindness that I have seen in your eyes, the light in them shines brightly again.
I am so sorry, bambino. I am so sorry for everything that she put you through. I am sorry that I couldn't protect you better.
A single teardrop fell on the paper, startling him. He cried often these days. Cried when he was alone in moments like these, for that light that had gone out in his son's eyes.
" Cazzo…"
He looked at the page and wondered if Dante would (and should) ever see these pages.
I love you with all my heart, Dante David. I love you and I will do my best to give you the happiest childhood and the best life I can. I promise.
He closed the roughed-up journal and looked at the burned out cigarette that had gone untouched.
Damiano did a lot of things on autopilot these days. He cooked, cleaned,rehearsed, wrote (nothing good, according to himself) purely from muscle memory.
The moments when he was fully present were with Dante. Dante to whom he would yield everything for. His everything.
He walked over to the bathroom and started the shower, thinking of the day ahead. He had a day off from band- related obligations but both he and Dante had therapy and he could have dinner with Eli and the band after, if circumstances allowed it.
He finished showering quickly as soon as he heard the mumbling from the baby monitor. It was in those pockets of sleepy peace where he saw his son again. The happy little boy who was always excited to start the day. Always excited to give his love. Damiano quickly dried off and put on clothes before going into the nursery.
“Buongiorno, bambino.” He kissed the sleepy child’s face. The smile that Dante gave him made every bit of pain worth it. Damiano knew that he would fight like hell to make sure that that smile would be more and more on his child’s face.
Dante got up and raised his hands, a silent plea to be held by his papa. Dami picked him up and the two of them sat on the rocking chair, Dante snuggling up to his favourite person.
“We can see Ethan and Ic and Thomas and Eli today.” Damiano murmured softly. The comfort and peace that he felt when Dante was in his arms was unlike anything he’d ever known.
That earned him another smile.
Yes, everything will be alright.
**
“Today is three months since the paparazzi pictures were leaked, is it not?” Damiano’s therapist, Ilaria, looked at him. Damiano immediately tensed at the mention of that horrible moment.
“It is.” He affirmed and quickly looked over to Dante, who was sitting with someone from the children’s entertainment centre just a door away from him. A see-through door away from him.
“How do you feel?” The woman asked, looking at him.
“I’m fine.” Damiano looked back at her. “I certainly didn’t expect for things to unfold the way they have, but I am fine.”
“You know this is a safe space, yes?”
“Of course.” Damiano took a deep breath.
“Take your time.” Ilaria tried to be encouraging. The two of them had been working together for the past almost three months and while she saw great progress in him, she also worried that this man would completely abandon himself and give up everything just so his son would thrive.
Damiano fidgeted with his fingers and finally moved his gaze away from Dante.
“I didn’t think that she would leave. Perhaps that makes me naive and a complete clown, but I didn’t think that she would run away again.” He spoke slowly. “And not because she loves me, which she claims she did.” A bitter laugh escaped him. “No, I think that whatever feelings had been between us died a long time ago. I thought she would stick around for Dante’s sake. I thought that she would put in the effort to watch that boy grow, to be there for him. Why else would she do everything that she did?”
“I am not going to excuse or validate her actions, Damiano. I think both of you went through a lot and only you found a way to cope. You should be proud of yourself for finding healthy ways to cope with all of the events that happened to you over the last year.”
“I am surprised that she vanished without saying a word. That both of them vanished. I wonder if Dante will remember them… No one should go through this. No one should do this. You want to leave someone? Fine. But children should not be treated this way. Ever.”
The pair sat in silence for a few moments.
“Have you put any of those emotions in songs yet?” She asked. In previous sessions whenever Ilaria had brought up music, he’d changed the topic.
“My writing has been all over the place lately and it’s not my main focus right now.” Damiano spoke, his tone coming off more formal than he intended to.
“Are you thinking of quitting the band?”
“Of course not, they are my family and I don’t abandon my family.”
“Do you feel abandoned by her?”
He gathered his thoughts before replying.
“I feel betrayed and hurt. I feel like none of this shit should have happened. Dante is the only good thing to come out of this relationship and that’s all I am grateful for. The lessons and the heartbreak, I could have been spared the heartbreak at least. I gave her too much of me. When I saw her in Paris, I felt like I was thrown back to the boy that I was when we were together, before she left. That boy, full of enthusiasm and faith. That same boy whose heart she stomped on. That was the boy that was next to her in the hospital, the boy who prayed that she would recover, the boy who prayed that she would take him back, the boy who yielded everything to her as if she is God.”
His therapist waited.
Damiano felt grateful for that silence and the space.
“I am not that boy anymore. I am a man, a father, an artist. I am someone who has responsibilities and I am not someone whose life from now on will not be defined by a letter from a coward who couldn’t face or work through her shit, and who poisoned everything in her path. I am healing and while the past few months have been insane to say the least, my son and I came out of it and I have him, he has me and we will be okay. I will make sure that it will be okay.” His hand clenched and unclenched.
“You have come a long way.” Ilaria said to him.
**
Dami and Dante’s new home was the meeting point for the band, their safe space, big enough to accommodate all of them.
Damiano’s favorite moments in that space were all of the moments when all of them were there together.
He was sitting on the balcony, smoking a cigarette as he watched Ethan cook up a storm in the kitchen, with Thomas trying (not very successfully) to help him. Dante had gotten into Victoria’s makeup bag and was currently drawing on Leo’s face to Victoria’s great delight.
Damiano’s heart felt lighter.
His gaze moved from them to Eli, who stepped out on the balcony.
Eli.
“Hello beautiful.” Damiano smiled at them, making Eli blush.
“Hi yourself.” Eli took a step on the balcony. “May I sit with you?”
“Of course.” Dami got up and pulled the chair for them. “You are home here, you can sit wherever you want.”
“How are you?” Eli sat down on the chair and lit a cigarette of their own.
“I am okay.” Damiano replied, almost mechanically.
Eli didn’t want to push him. “Did you sleep last night? You stopped replying after a while.”
“I passed out, yes.” Damiano nodded, moving his gaze back to Dante. He hoped that Victoria was filming everything, that smile needed to be saved.
“How long do you think you will last like this, Dami?” Eli’s tone forced him to look at them. “I know that you are still experiencing shock and you are trying to deal with everything but you can’t burn out for anyone’s sake.”
“I am not burning out. I am not doing anything outside of what I am supposed to do.”
“Correct, you act like a robot who has a programmed schedule that he follows. You are not a robot, Damiano David and I won’t let you forget that.” They reached out to hold his hand. His heart skipped a beat.
“I feel like I am not doing enough.” Damiano admitted quietly, a single tear rolling down his face. “I feel like I will never be able to do enough to compensate for this bullshit.”
Eli was angry. Angry at the amount of hurt that one single person had managed to inflict on their loved ones. Angry beyond the rational.
Angry for the pain in Damiano’s voice and the disbelief when he’d found that letter. Angry for the nights where Dante had cried, seeking the comfort that he had known and that you had chosen to deprive him of.
Both of you are better off like this. Together. I will never be the mother Dante deserves, or the partner that you deserve. I deserve better than to carry around and live with your expectations, I can’t give either of you what you seek, so you deserve better too. Enough unmet expectations, enough pain, enough anger.
I wish you both well, have a good life. I have no claims on him, no parental rights, nothing. He is yours through and through. Again, I wish you both a good life.
Damiano had put away that letter after he’d shown it to them. Eli didn’t understand why he’d kept it but it was a moment that changed everything. For the month after the paparazzi pictures had leaked, Damiano had been very tense. He’d worried that Dante would be taken from him, but when that letter appeared that fateful morning, the worry that Dante would be taken from him had vanished and had been replaced by other worries - worries that he was working out in therapy.
“Dinner is ready, lovebirds.” Thomas announced at the door, snapping both of them out of this shared moment.
Nothing physical had happened between them, yet both blushed and Dami opened the door for Eli before following them into the apartment. Dante ran to them, throwing himself in Eli’s arms and they sat down at the table, with the little boy in their lap.
Damiano knew with certainty that he would always be safe and home with Eli. Both him and Dante.
Damiano looked at them, holding Dante and smiled.
“Do you want me to take him so you can eat? He can sit in his chair…”
“Why would you deprive me of my Dante time?” Eli’s smile was brilliant. “We are just fine, aren’t we, little one?” They kissed his cheek and started helping him with the food.
“I am still godmother, Eli. Don’t try to come for my title.” Vic joked and winked at Dami.
“I am not coming for anyone’s title, don’t worry.” Eli grinned at Vic. “I would assume that by now we all know that not titles define our role in someone’s life but our behaviour towards them.”
“Cheers to that.” Leo winked at them.
Damiano watched as his family had dinner around him, all those people that made the pieces of his heart whole were there. They made his home. He realised his words had been right all along, just said at the wrong time to the wrong person.
Home was not a space.
Home is where the heart is.
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